for every life you've lived 1/3
yoochun/changmin
fluff & angst
pg13
20124 words
1519 hasn’t been a good year. Changmin knows not to trust everything he hears but there have been rumors, hushed talk about petitions in the capital and Seonggyungwan students planning to storm the palace for justice. Even the last message he had gotten from his father hadn’t been too comforting at all, something cryptic about another possible purge in the coming days. Changmin isn’t worried though. The books his father had sent ahead of his coming have been stacked neatly under the floorboards of their store, nestled between jars of fermenting vegetables and salted meat.
Changmin runs his finger down the spine of one book before placing it back into hiding, rubbing and blowing into his hands after. It’s cold this time of the year but Changmin doesn’t mind too much, not when the chill keeps most people indoors and he can-
“Excuse me?”
Changmin startles and the candle he’s relying on for some pitiful light almost gets knocked over. There’s a stranger standing in the doorway, bowing ever so slightly.
“Can I help you?”
“I’m so sorry if I startled you but…are you Shim Changmin?
Changmin returns the bow and straightens mechanically, all too aware that there’s still a stack of his father’s books lying on the ground.
“Yes,” he says. “Can I help you?” he asks again but the stranger doesn’t seem to hear, too busy consulting a small piece of paper that’s badly concealed in his palm. The lantern that he’s holding in his other hand sends a soft glow across the room and Changmin wonders if it’s just a trick of shadows or whether there really is a black cat that’s peeking at him from behind the man’s leg. The next time he looks, it isn’t there anymore.
“Your father said I could find you here but it’s okay, I can wait until morning.” He smiles tiredly and Changmin makes as if he wants to say something but he gets cut to the chase. “He sent me, if you were wondering. Said that things are moving in Seonggyungwan and the scholars are preparing for a possible exile.” He gestures to something outside of the store and Changmin doesn’t have to look to know what he’s brought with him.
Things had gone to the dogs early in the year, when political rivalry shook the foundations of the country and if whatever the stranger had said held any truth, it would mean a possible outpouring of literati out into the countryside again. Changmin sighs and glances about him. This is no place for storing the works of scholars but what choice do they have in times like this?
“Are there a lot?”
“A few packages, you know how careful they’ve been after that tyrant Yeonsan-gun did to Seonggyungwan earlier.”
Changmin nods. He hadn’t been old enough then to fully understand what his father had been so upset about during those few years but now he knew, the talk of Yeonsan-gun turning the renowned university into a personal pleasure ground spreading far and wide.
“I’ll come back in the morning then?”
“Okay.” Changmin watches the stranger turn to leave and he’s halfway out the door before Changmin finds it in himself to ask for his name.
“My name?” He turns back and there’s that same tired smile. “I thought usually people would ask for that before making plans to meet.”
Changmin feels his cheeks colour in the candlelight and the stranger laughs, says “Yoochun, my name is Yoochun,” before he closes the door behind him.
“Yoochun,” Changmin repeats under his breath. He doesn’t really know what to make of all this but then again, these aren’t times to be over wary. Besides, he isn’t one to question things left better unanswered. “Yoochun,” he says again to himself, trying to get the feel of the name around his tongue and most of the light has followed Yoochun out. Changmin is left in the growing dark with the oddest feeling in his chest.
-
Outside, Yoochun fiddles with the store’s latch, the black cat weaving figure eights around his feet being of no help at all. Couple that with the biting cold making his fingers next to useless, Yoochun is sure Changmin will get out before he can even finish the job.
“Jaejoong,” he hisses at the cat and it stops, peering up at him with narrow eyes. “If you’re not going to be of any help then you might as well go somewhere else.”
Jaejoong yawns and stretches slowly before stalking away to watch Yoochun from a distance, perched on a patch of dried grass. Without Jaejoong around being a nuisance, Yoochun manages to slide the latch into place with the softest of clicks, locking Changmin inside without the latter even suspecting anything amiss. There’s still a few minutes to go and Yoochun takes his time in ripping the paper casing off his lantern, feeding the flame inside with the ragged strips until there’s nothing left but a small fire on the ground.
“Goodbye, Shim Changmin,” Yoochun says under his breath and lays the last strip of paper down, leading the flames to the wooden door. It catches light almost a little too easily and Jaejoong lingers behind to watch the flames climb higher, fire reflected in his cat eyes. The warmth is welcome tonight.
“Aren’t you coming?”
Jaejoong mewls and gets up to follow Yoochun away, tail a wavering question mark. By the next morning, new snow would have fallen and there will be nothing left behind but a burnt out little husk of a house filled with charred bones.
-
Yoochun comes home to a house that smells like old chocolate, Jaejoong settling onto one worn couch in the corner as Yoochun stamps snow from his shoes. By the time he looks up, the cat demon has shifted back into his preferred form.
“If you think I’m going to pick up after you, you’re crazy.”
Jaejoong peers pointedly at the puddle of melted snow by the doorway and Yoochun shrugs, kicks a mat over it for the moment. At the very least, if Heechul comes over later, he’ll have a slight chance of falling over the moment he walks in.
“I didn’t even ask you.”
“Point taken.”
Jaejoong gets up to turn the kettle on and Yoochun takes his place on the couch, putting his feet up. Going back and forth between centuries has always given him a slight headache. You would expect that a reaper would have some kind of immunity against time motion sickness or whatever you called it but apparently not, the intensity increasing in almost direct proportion to how far he had to go. At least he isn’t like Junsu who has to take the week off if the leap is too large but those days are few and far in between, Junsu usually lurking along hospital corridors to take the last breaths of the dying.
“That Changmin boy, he’s quite a looker, isn’t he?”
Jaejoong walks back into the living room holding a mug of tea in each hand. Yoochun gratefully relieves him of one and Jaejoong seems to have dug into his peppermint stash, the unmistakably cool scent drifting up in wafts. There’s probably a little while more to go before the rest to arrive for one of their note comparing sessions.
“Very nice face, good height too.” Jaejoong says over the rim of his mug. There’s an unhealthy amount of milk in his tea.
“Everything’s tall to you when you’re a cat.”
Jaejoong pulls a face at Yoochun and they settle into a comfortable silence again. Time doesn’t pass the usual way here, minutes and hours meaning nothing when you can cross years in a matter of seconds. Inevitably, Yoochun finds himself thinking of Changmin as he waits, of his high cheekbones even more defined by candlelight and how Jaejoong is actually right about the whole face thing. Damn the cat.
“You’re spacing out,” comes a lazy voice and Yoochun doesn’t have to look to know Heechul is here, the latter moving to the kitchen without even waiting for an invitation.
“Hello to you too.”
“So? How was this week’s lot of sad, accidental deaths?” Heechul calls from beyond the living room and Yoochun can’t help but close his eyes at the noise, cupboards banging not good background music to have a headache to. But then again, he doesn’t expect any less from Heechul. Loud is the way to go with him, especially considering how he’s the one usually in charge of the more gruesome deaths. Murders, wars, anything along that side of things and Heechul would be there to lend a hand.
“Nothing particularly interesting. Just came back from the Joseon era, I honestly have no idea what the big boss is thinking, I’ve been there five times this week.”
“Oh? Sucks to be you then. There’s nothing much you can do when you’re back there.”
Heechul wanders back into the room holding what Yoochun knows is a bar of chocolate. He’s not too sure where Heechul had dug it out from but all he knows is he’s not really up to finding out at the moment. The note comparing sessions aren’t note comparing sessions as much as they are bitch-and-complain ones and these things usually require food. Junsu arrives just as Jaejoong is starting to fall asleep and Heechul is threatening to go out in search for another chocolate bar.
They pool their paper slips onto Yoochun’s coffee table, a few hundred in total. Jaejoong is rummaging for the lighter he always seems to have on him and Heechul is in the middle of retelling some crackball murder he assisted in on Tuesday when Yoochun realizes he’s still holding on to Changmin’s paper. He slips it into his pile just as Junsu starts lighting his batch up.
“So, everyone ready for a brand new week of death?”
Heechul passes the lighter to Yoochun and he sets fire to his papers, watching them burn with new names getting rewritten in the flames.
-
Changmin is exhausted, sick to the bone of blood and dirt and men dying in the light of gunfire. They say that the KPA troops are just over two hours away from Seoul and he’ll be damned before he’ll say this out loud but Changmin wishes they’ll just hurry up and get here already. What had it been, that favorite phrase of his captain? “Sleep after you die?” Changmin leans tiredly against his rifle and isn’t too surprised to find that he can’t remember the last time he’d slept for more than 20minutes at a go. Sleep after you die. If it comes down to that, Changmin is okay with choosing death, if only to get some sleep.
“Shim!”
“Sir?”
“Move the whole lot of that. I don’t want to see any more of it the next time I come around here.”
His sergeant jerks his hand towards a stack of boxes. Artillery. There’s barely enough to last the regiment through the night and hesitantly, Changmin tells the other man this.
“It won’t have to, seeing how we’re leaving this shithole.”
Changmin blinks at the older man. Somewhere in the distance, there’s the staccato sound of machine gun fire, exploding shells. Maybe someone has messed up along the line and the KPA is already here.
“You heard me kid, we’re retreating.” Seargent Lee cocks him a smile and Changmin doesn’t know whether to laugh or cry. On one hand, he gets to live another day but on the other, sleep is still just barely out of reach.
“Yes sir.”
“What are you yessir-ing me for?” Sergeant Lee clasps Changmin on the shoulder and this is the happiest Changmin has ever seen him. “Now go move those boxes and we’ll get the fuck out of here.”
Changmin works as if in a dream, hauling box after box into the back of the waiting truck. He’s down to his last one when someone who appears to the truck driver gets into the front seat, letting the engine idle as Changmin heaves the last load into the back.
“Done,” he calls and knocks hard on the side of the truck for good measure.
The driver leans out the side and Changmin can see that he’s smoking a cigarette down to its stub. Someone high ranking then, seeing how most privates didn’t have enough on them to trade for smokes.
“Well then don’t just stand there, get in.”
“Yes sir.”
Changmin climbs into the shotgun seat without really knowing what the hell he’s getting himself into. Sergeant Lee will probably shoot him for going against orders to stay around the area but given how the driver’s rank colours mark him out to be a captain, Changmin doesn’t think it’s a good time to bring that up.
“What’s your name, kid?”
“Shim Changmin, sir.”
“Well, look here, Shim. If for some obscure reason you don’t know who the hell I am, my name is Captain Park Yoochun and from here on out, you’re answering to me.”
“Sir?”
Yoochun drives them over a bump and Changmin involuntarily clutches at his seat.
“You know those boxes you just loaded?”
“Yes sir.”
“Well you’re going to get down in approximately five minutes and unload them all over again.”
“But sir, aren’t we-”
“Retreating? You mean right now, just when the party is getting started? Like fuck, private Shim. Like. Fuck.”
Changmin slumps a little in his seat, suddenly feeling rather boneless. Maybe sleep wasn’t as far away as he thought. Yoochun pulls up next to an abandoned school and Changmin gets off without being asked to.
“Private Shim.”
“Yes sir?”
Yoochun gestures at Changmin to come round to his side of the truck and Changmin does, his feet dragging a little in the dust. From here, he can just about see the last of the evacuations happening over the Han River. Yoochun sticks his hand out at Changmin and Changmin shakes it gingerly.
“Good to have met you, Shim.”
“Likewise, sir.”
Yoochun sighs and his cigarette is just about gone, last few tendrils of smoke curling skywards. The KPA should be here any moment now.
“Well then. You’ve got a first ticket to watch this clusterfuck so how about you go take a seat, eh? Look me up if you’re still alive after all this.”
Changmin wants to retort that Yoochun himself might not survive this but Yoochun is already getting out of the truck, striding away into the growing melee.
-
Yoochun takes a seat with Junsu by the medic camp, the latter dolled up today as a field surgeon. There’s blood down the entire front of his plastic surgeon’s gown, making him look more like a butcher than doctor.
“Busy day, huh?”
Junsu shrugs, says “Just another day at work.” Somewhere out on the front lines, Heechul is already standing watch over the first clashes. It’s only during wars like this that they get to work together.
“Heard anything from Jaejoong lately?
Though he’s loathe to admit it, Yoochun kinda misses having Jaejoong around, the latter having all but disappeared since he’s found a new playmate.
“Last I heard, he’s been hanging around with some newbie called Yunho.”
“Reaper?”
Junsu shakes his head, a smile already forming on his lips. “You’ll never guess.”
“…incubus?”
“Guardian angel.”
“Well fuck.”
Junsu looks pleased with himself at having successfully shared this little tidbit and it’s not long before he has to leave again, some poor dying soul to attend to. In the early hours of the next day, the Han River bridges will be blown up ahead of schedule to avoid the advancement of the KPA army. 10,000 South Koreans will be stranded on the wrong side of the Han River and when Sergeant Lee takes a headcount of his troops, he will note that Private Shim is not in the ranks. He will be listed as MIA but in reality, Private Shim dies of two gunshots to the chest from opposing fire.
-
“This is crazy,” Yoochun says under his breath when he opens the paper he had just lighted up earlier. “This is beyond crazy.”
“You got that Changmin person again?”
“What are you, psychic or something?” Yoochun snaps and takes Changmin’s paper into his hands, folding into a neat origami crane. Jaejoong makes an annoyed tsk sound at Yoochun’s short fuse tonight and goes to Yunho for comfort, all while mumbling, “Well it’s not my fault you keep staring at the damned paper,” under his breath.
The angel throws Yoochun a hangdog look. He hasn’t been around long enough to be comfortable around reapers but Jaejoong had made the adjustment years ago so Yunho thinks he can do the same. Yoochun isn’t in the mood tonight to tell him he’s doing good.
“Sorry,” Yunho mouths and goes to placate Jaejoong in ways only known to him. Yoochun hasn’t the slightest idea why Yunho is even apologizing but he figures it must come with the whole angel package, being polite and all that. He flicks Jaejoong’s lighter open and sets the crane alight. He doesn’t even know what he’s hoping for but when he unfolds the paper, it’s only to find that nothing has changed.
Changmin’s name is still written there.
-
“So absolutely no dogs?”
“Absolutely.”
Changmin looks dejected for a while but Hana kisses him lightly on the cheek, bringing a smile back to his face.
“Cheer up, beanpole man. Doesn’t everyone love kittens as well?”
“Well…” Changmin starts to say but Hana has already barreled forward, dragging Changmin after her into the pet shop. The bell on the door jingles when Hana pushes it inwards and the shop keeper flashes them a smile from his counter. They’re the only customers this afternoon.
“Hi there,” he says and folds away the magazine he’d been reading. There’s a tag on the left side of his shirt that says HI, MY NAME IS Park Yoochun! HOW MAY I HELP YOU? “Looking for something?”
“Cats,” Hana declares, the same time Changmin says “Dogs.” The man who’s nametag proclaims him to be Park Yoochun looks confusedly at them for a moment before breaking into another sunny smile.
“So it’ll be cats and dogs?”
“Well you didn’t say I couldn’t look at dogs, did you?” Changmin offers helpfully, pretending to flinch away just as Hana makes as if to hit him on the head. It’s not like she can ever reach him anyways but it’s become a thing for them, the whole ‘I hit as much as I love’ act.
Yoochun comes out from behind the counter to lead them to the cages at the back of the shop. Hana immediately settles herself in front of a sleek looking black Burmese who meets her eye to eye, tail twitching.
“Girlfriend?” Yoochun asks casually as he leads Changmin around a corner to where the dogs are.
“Fiancée actually.” Changmin blushes a little as he says this and Yoochun can’t help but laugh, punching Changmin lightly on the shoulder.
“Good on you then, she looks like a good catch. I’m Yoochun by the way, as you can uh…see.” He points awkwardly to his name tag.
“Changmin.”
Yoochun nods at this as he kneels in front of a large-ish cage holding about three puppies, all smushed together into a barely distinguishable mess of sleeping fur.
“Golden retrievers,” he says softly and carefully picks one up, handing it to Changmin who clutches it against his chest. It nuzzles against Changmin’s shirt before settling back to sleep.
“They’re amazing,” Changmin breathes and Yoochun picks another one out of the cage, holding it one-handed as he pats the empty space next to him, indicating that Changmin take a seat.
“I know right? Too bad about the whole cat and dog thing though, you look like you badly want a puppy in your life.”
Changmin says nothing to this, just absently stretches his legs and cradles his golden retriever. Somewhere nearer to the front of the shop, he can hear Hana speaking to a cat, calling it ridiculous names like “Fluffypaws” or “Bag o’ fur”. Coming from the woman who thinks “Beanpole man” is an adequate pet name for her future husband, Changmin really isn’t that surprised.
“We’ve got a new litter due here next Wednesday if you want to have a look.”
“I won’t be able to buy any though,” Changmin says, more to himself than anything. The puppy he’s holding seems to have realized that Changmin’s shirt really is a good place to fall asleep on and Changmin strokes its fur absent mindedly.
“Who said anything about buying.”
Yoochun beams at Changmin who finds himself returning the smile. Hana walks in a little later with a black cat in her arms, declaring that it is going to be the newest addition to the Shim family and it’s then that Changmin has to finally return the puppy as well, Yoochun mouthing “Next week” to Changmin over the counter as he pays.
“I’ll think about it ,” Changmin mouths back despite knowing he’ll go home and cancel any plans he’s made for Wednesday.
-
Hana is overjoyed with her new cat, insisting that he be called Hero because black cats always had such a stigma attached to them and naming him something like Hero might help chip away at the reservations anyone had. Changmin isn’t quite sure where Hana is going with the whole theory but he doesn’t mind, Hero doesn’t get in his way and Hana is obviously infatuated with her new cat, even almost intent on bringing him to bed with her. Changmin would have put his foot down at that if not for Hero’s obvious dislike at being made to stay indoors at night.
“You’re pretty likeable, y’know? For a cat,” Changmin finds himself saying to Hero whenever Hana isn’t looking and Hero always regards him with a look that seems to be a mixture of disbelief and haughtiness. Nevertheless, deep down inside, Changmin is still a dog person so when Wednesday rolls around, Changmin calls Hana to tell her he won’t be meeting her for lunch.
“Need to meet someone,” he says as an excuse and Hana waves him off cheerfully, tells him to “Go meet the lucky person, beanpole man. I’ll get dinner on the way back.”
“Are you sure?”
“Get off the phone, you’re cutting into my alone time now. Hanging up first, love you!”
Changmin hangs up after her with a comfortable sort of warmth in his heart.
-
“So I see you thought about it,” Yoochun says by manner of greeting the moment Changmin walks into the shop. He’s stacking dog treats in one corner and Changmin lingers around the counter until he’s done, Yoochun asking after Hero.
“Is he being good to Hana?”
“Shouldn’t it be the other way around?”
Yoochun shrugs and arranges bacon-flavoured bow-wows in a line. “That’s the thing with cats you see, they don’t need to be taken care of or anything. If it likes you, it likes you and eats the crap cat food you feed it. Maybe even lets you pet it if you’re nice enough.”
Changmin makes a knowing sound at the back of his throat and Yoochun saunters over to take him round the back, all while babbling about how he doesn’t actually like cats but cats sell and that’s what’s important when you’re in the business. Changmin makes more hmmm-ing noises.
“But anyways, these little fellas just came in last night. Ever had a Maltese?”
Changmin shakes his head as he watches Yoochun pick up something white and fluffy. “I’ve never had a dog, actually.”
“Well you’re going to want one very badly after you’ve met Mangdungi here.”
Yoochun deposits the fluffy thing into Changmin’s waiting hands and Mangdungi (“Isn’t that a type of fish?” “A very small fish, yeah.”) is just the right size to fit in Changmin’s hands.
“You don’t get this with cats, right?” Yoochun is on the floor again, Changmin next to him.
“Nah.” Changmin scratches the tiny Maltese behind the ears and she makes contented noises in return. “Hero is nice but I think he secretly wants to scratch my eyes out whenever Hana isn’t looking. Gives me the creeps.”
Yoochun laughs long and hard at this and before Changmin knows it, his lunch break is over, most of it having been well spent watching Mangdungi fall over herself trying to run back to him after Yoochun picks her up, depositing her a few meters away.
“You should come back again,” Yoochun tells Changmin when he finally consents to putting Mangdungi back into her cage.
“But she won’t be here anymore, will she?”
Yoochun shrugs. “I wouldn’t have named her if I was going to sell her, y’know. You can have like, joint ownership or something if you want. Come play with her whenever you’re free.”
Changmin still looks undecided but if he’s learnt anything from the last one and a half hours, it’s that Yoochun can be very convincing when he wants to be. He’s not sure how much he buys into Yoochun’s cock and bull stories about having a black cat always following him around or how he has this red-haired half demon half friend called Heechul but in any case, Changmin finds himself agreeing before he’s out the door.
“If you’re that hung up over it, you can always ask Hana first.”
“True,” Changmin says slowly.
“It was love at first sight, wasn’t it?”
“Definitely.”
Later on, thinking back on that afternoon, Changmin isn’t sure whether Yoochun had been asking after Hana or Mangdungi but whatever the case, he’s pretty sure the answer should be the same for both. Or at the very least, for Mangdungi.
-
“So you bought a dog.”
“Well technically I didn’t buy one since I didn’t pay for it but yeah, I own a dog.”
For a moment Changmin thinks that Hana might be angry but instead, she just leans further back in his arms and calls him a stupid beanpole man.
“If you wanted one that badly you could have gotten one, you know.”
“Well thanks for telling me that after we bought the cat from hell,” Changmin deadpans and Hana swats at him. “I swear, there’s something off about Hero that I can’t put my finger on. He just…stares at me all the time.”
“That’s what cats do, beanpole man.”
Changmin shrugs and bends down to kiss Hana on the forehead. “About the dog thing, you know we can’t, what with your allergies and all that. It’s okay.”
“Don’t try to baby me Shim Changmin, I haven’t had that damn thing since years ago.”
“Then what if it flares up again?”
Hana scoffs but doesn’t make a move to continue the half argument, quite content instead to just stay in Changmin’s arms and have him play with her hair. From the doorway to the next room, Hero sits watching the couple with his green eyes narrowed to slits.
-
With Hana’s blessing in hand, Changmin starts spending more time at the pet shop. Yoochun will bring Mangdungi out and they’ll waste time together, Changmin drawing a chair up to sit at the counter with Yoochun as they let Mangdungi wander the floor. Mangdungi already recognizes Changmin by the second week.
“So when’s the wedding?” Yoochun asks him one afternoon when Changmin is picking out dog treats. Changmin lingers over a salmon flavored cat snack before taking it as well.
“Wedding? Not too sure yet really, Hana is more of the ‘live in the moment’ kind of girl.”
“But you guys are engaged, right?”
“Right.” Changmin pays for Hero’s cat snacks but Yoochun insists on giving the dog treats to him for free, since Mangdungi is still technically half Yoochun’s as well. “You’ll be one of the first to know if we ever do get the date set though, consider this an invitation.”
Yoochun hmms at this and the hours pass with Changmin teaching Mangdungi how to roll over, Yoochun watching over the both of them all the while.
-
It’s the middle of July when Changmin brings Hero in for a grooming session, Hana insisting that the cat was in dire need of some pampering.
“As if you don’t already cater to his every whim and fancy.”
“What whims and fancies do cats have?”
Changmin raises an eyebrow. “Explain the fresh tuna in the fridge that’s not for me?”
Hana pretends not to hear and instead tells him to be back in time for dinner, remember to bring Hero back as well.
At the pet shop, Yoochun is more than happy to compile with Hana’s grooming requests, even if Hero seems to regard him with about as much interest as he would give Changmin.
“I’ll take just over an hour I think, would you mind sticking around?”
“Sure, I don’t have anywhere to be anyways.”
Yoochun picks Hero up and Changmin follows the both of them into the back rooms, stopping by Mangdungi’s cage to bring her along as well. The little dog hasn’t grown much since he first her but Changmin is alright with that. Dogs shouldn’t be too big anyways.
“How about you give Mangdungi a bath while I’m busy with Hero?” Yoochun sets Hero not too gently on the table and the latter hisses, Yoochun giving no indication that he had heard it. “All the stuff is in the next room so knock yourself out.”
The moment Changmin is gone, Yoochun locks the door behind him. When he turns back, Hero is gone and in his place, there’s Jaejoong lounging comfortably on the tabletop.
“You like that Changmin human, don’t you?” he asks amusedly. Yoochun rolls his eyes a little dramatically.
“So what if I’m enjoying this job more than the others? And cut your own damn nails by the way, I’m not going to do any of that grooming shit for you.”
Yoochun finishes rummaging in a nearby drawer for a nail clipper and throws it at Jaejoong’s head, Jaejoong catching it out of the air without even moving from his position.
“Just saying. Are we finishing this today?” For a while, there’s nothing but the clicking sound of Jaejoong trimming his own nails. Jaejoong isn’t sure if Yoochun can hear it but in the next room, Changmin is talking to Mangdungi, telling her how pretty she is and how he’s glad that Yoochun is being such a good owner to her.
Yoochun sighs. “Probably.”
“Plan?”
“I’ll tell you when you’re done so just hurry up already.”
-
When Yoochun quietly slips out of the room with Jaejoong/Hero in his arms, Changmin is still in the middle of drying Mangdungi, the constant whir of the hair-drying making Jaejoong lay his ears back.
“Make it fast,” Yoochun whispers to Jaejoong before setting him down and the cat shoots him a cool look, setting off into the room Changmin is in. Yoochun calmly goes to open the back door of the shop. If things went as planned, Jaejoong would stir Mangdungi up and lead her out into the street, Changmin hopefully following after. What happens next, Yoochun can only imagine.
Sure enough, not even ten seconds later, there’s a streak of black and white, Changmin running after both Jaejoong and Mangdungi, not even noticing Yoochun who watches the entire scene unfold from the sidelines with his fists clenched.
“Changmin,” he mouths just as Changmin disappears out the back door and the man is gone. Yoochun walks into the room Changmin was in earlier, wondering just how long Jaejoong will take. Probably not too much time, seeing how it’s just near the start of the rush hour now. Yoochun carefully turns off the still humming hair dryer and he’s about to go check on how Jaejoong has done when something on the floor catches his eye. Changmin’s engagement ring.
Wordlessly, Yoochun picks it up. He must have taken off when he was bathing Mangdungi and Yoochun weighs it in its palm, thin white gold band almost too light to feel. It’s after he slips it into his pocket that Jaejoong stalks back through the back door, human and carrying Mangdungi in his arms.
“It’s over,” he says and sets Mangdungi back into her cage. “I saw him go under. Should be time for you to go call the ambulance or something.”
-
Hana doesn’t blame anyone but she still feels a pang in her heart when she goes to the pet shop, only to find Yoochun taking the last of the stock down from the shelves.
“Closing?” she asks, lingering by the doorway and Yoochun nods, offers her a seat by which she refuses. Out of the corner of his eye, he can see Yunho lingering behind Hana. Probably sent there by Jaejoong, seeing how he’d enjoyed the fresh tuna so much. “I just thought I’d want to come tell you personally about the funeral.”
“I’m so sorry,” Yoochun says as he puts one last packet of catnip into its box. “If I hadn’t-” he starts but Hana stops him, shaking her head.
“It’s no one’s fault,” she says flatly and Yoochun genuinely feels sorry for her, going to pat her on the shoulder in what he hopes is a reassuring way. He’s never really dealt with death this way before but judging from how Yunho is giving him encouraging looks, maybe he’s not so bad at this after all.
“You’ll bring Mangdungi along as well?”
“Eh?”
Hana gives Yoochun a weak smile. “Changmin loved that dog, I’d want to see her there as well. Would’ve brought Hero along too if not for that blasted cat walking out on me.”
When Hana leaves, Yoochun toys with the idea of giving her Changmin’s ring back but bites back the idea when he notices how both her hands are bare. It feels like it’s only right to let her have a chance to try keeping them free for other rings and maybe it’s Yunho’s optimism rubbing off on him but Yoochun hopes that Hana moves on easy. Either that or it’s just Yoochun’s own selfishness talking.
-
Yoochun isn’t around on the day of the funeral, a death to take care of somewhere in the 1700s but he does manage to bully Jaejoong into going in his place, bringing Mangdungi along. Jaejoong generally just hangs around Mangdungi throughout the service watching Yunho watch over Hana, staying out of sight until he can catch Hana alone.
“Yoochun says he’s sorry he can’t come but he wants you to have her,” he says awkwardly, holding the squirming dog close to his chest. “She needs a home and Yoochun thought you’d be a good owner.”
Hana doesn’t know what to make of things when Jaejoong hands her the little dog to keep, a black ribbon around her fluff white neck but all she knows is Jaejoong bears an almost uncanny resemblance to Hero.
“You’re like someone I once knew,” she finds herself saying because she really can’t think of anything else to say and Jaejoong just smiles in return, Yunho guiding her back into the crowd.
-
Yoochun sighs as another gust of wind brings more rain his way. As jobs go, he’s definitely had far worse waiting spots but after almost an hour spent waiting for Jihyeon to show up, standing under the rain on a street corner has sealed itself a permanent place on Yoochun’s top ten “Do Not Want to Go Through Again” scene list. It’s been about a month since he’s known Jihyeon as his language exchange partner now and some small part of Yoochun is sad to have to do this on her birthday but a job is a job is a welcome thing when the person he’s supposed to kill this time around isn’t Changmin. God knows how much he had to stand from Heechul when he had found out about the recurring Changmin syndrome, as he had dubbed it.
“Like a mortician embalming his lover’s corpse,” Heechul had observed thoughtfully around a mouthful of chocolate and Yoochun had pretended not to hear, the other reaper purposely chewing as obviously as he can in front of Yoochun. “D’you suppose it’s all the higher powers screwing with your head or is it just one of those weird coincidences? Third time’s the charm, y’know. Or fourth, in your case.”
And hopefully the last, Yoochun thinks a little glumly to himself. He’s spilt this round’s papers into a few piles this time and Changmin’s is in the last one to be burnt, all names hopefully renewed. No matter what he might say in defense to Jaejoong and Heechul, he still can’t throw off this feeling of something being vaguely wrong with the whole thing. During jobs, between them, Yoochun finds himself trying to work the whole thing out. Is this some kind of bad karma from a botched job he doesn’t know about? Or maybe, gods, Heechul is right about the whole “Let’s screw with Yoochun’s head” thing. Changmin syndrome indeed.
Jihyeon shows up exactly an hour late, clutching at a red umbrella that threatens to turn inside out every time the wind blows. Perfect, Yoochun thinks to himself. He’d lent it to her the first time they had met and he’d made sure she had kept it ever since, if only to make things fall into place today.
“Sorry, it’s just those damned subway lines,” she says in his ear over the sound of the rain and Yoochun makes understanding noises, the increasing rainfall making it a little hard to be heard. They’re probably too late to catch the movie they’re supposed to watch but it’s okay, in general, Yoochun prefers creating accidents in the open rather than inside theaters. More light, less mess.
“Ready to cross?”
Jihyeon has slipped her hand in his as they wait for the traffic lights to change. Yoochun keeps insisting that he’s perfectly fine in his raincoat but Jihyeon won’t have any of it, trying to fit him under her (or is it still his?) umbrella.
“At the very least, let me hold it,” he finally says and Jihyeon surrenders it almost gladly. No one will see what happens next but Yoochun takes the umbrella in the loosest of grips, letting go of it the moment the wind blows and it looks for all like as if the wind has actually ripped it out of his hands.
“Oh,” Yoochun hears Jihyeon say and her hand is suddenly gone from his, impulse making the girl dash into the street as the umbrella dances across the intersection. As usual, Yoochun turns to walk away before the impact can happen but it’s proving a little hard to do that fast enough this time, seeing how the sidewalk is practically crammed with people waiting to move from here to somewhere drier.
“Excuse me,” Yoochun mumbles with his head slightly bent, trying to keep the rain out of his eyes and the man behind him makes a small space for him to squeeze past, Yoochun brushing by him with a thank you that the latter doesn’t manage to hear over the sound of tires screeching, the dull thud of impact. Jihyeon will die almost instantly and for that, Yoochun is thankful.
“Oh my god,” the stranger says under his breath just as the shock is starting to settle into the crowd and this is when Yoochun realizes that the stranger isn’t really a stranger at all. It’s Changmin, and he’s been standing behind him all this while.
-
Changmin hadn’t meant to watch them but there was just something that made it hard to look away. The fact that they were standing within half an arm’s reach in front of him, the girl’s faded red umbrella threatening to poke him in the eye whenever she moved was one thing but what really made Changmin lean in a little closer to eavesdrop was…Yoochun? Was that what the girl had called him? Yoochun.
He honestly has no idea how to describe it other than the whole thing being just…disturbing. Like how he had looked at Yoochun and something inside him had clicked, like a flip switch turned on and suddenly some part of him he didn’t know existed had started aching. Shim Changmin, you’re crazy he had thought to himself as he watched Yoochun take the umbrella for the girl. Love at first sight doesn’t exist.
But now, having Yoochun push past him for the briefest of moments, Changmin can’t move, not even when the girl Yoochun was with suddenly dashes into the street. “Excuse me,” he says without looking up and absurdly, Changmin wants to reach out and touch the other man, if only to make sure he’s real and Changmin isn’t hallucinating this entire strange, strange scene.
When gasps of shock start rippling through the rest of the crowd, only then does Changmin feel like he’s starting to snap out of this delirium and the first thing he sees is the red umbrella on the street, colour even more faded now compared to the watered down blood that’s pooling out from under the girl’s head.
“Oh my god,” Changmin whispers as the scene fits itself together. “Oh my god.”
“At least it’s not you this time.”
When Changmin whips his head back at the sound of this, Yoochun is already gone and over the years, Changmin will always find himself wondering what he had meant by that.
-
“So you saw him? Out on the street?”
“No, Jaejoong I saw him floating above me in the sky. Of course I saw him on the street, I was waiting for Jihyeon.”
Yoochun strikes a match against its box as he sets alight his next pile of names, the current jobs he’s doing in parallel to each other already depleting. No rest for the wicked. No wonder it always feels like Yunho has so much more free time than him.
“Did he recognize you, then?”
Yoochun casually sets aside Changmin’s name from the rest, hoping that Jaejoong didn’t catch him in the act. If things went the way they’ve been going all this while, this would be the fourth time. Yoochun doesn’t quite know how to feel about that.
“That’s the odd thing, I felt like he did. I mean, would you? If I showed up in every life that you’ve ever lived and killed you?”
Jaejoong seems to think this funny and Yoochun just sighs as Jaejoong laughs it out, obviously tickled by the thought of this.
“It’s not funny, Jaejoong.”
“Of course it is, that soul is probably cursed or something to have you tailing him all over the place.”
“How do you know I’m not the one that’s cursed to follow him?”
“Point. But at least he’s a good looking one, right?”
“Jaejoong.”
The cat demon shrugs and helps Yoochun singe the corners of his to-be-burnt pile, watching the flames catch on.
“Special treatment for him?” Jaejoong lifts his head towards Changmin’s strip of paper. “I’ll do the honors if you insist on being such a pussy about it.”
“Do you even see the irony in your sentence?”
Jaejoong grins a fang-toothed grin before touching Changmin’s paper to the already burning pile.
“Close your eyes for the surprise,” he sings under his breath and Yoochun really does find himself looking away, just in case…well, he isn’t sure what he’s afraid of really. Just in case the name is still there? Just in case it isn’t?
“Congratulations Yoochun, you’re the proud winner of yet another Shim Changmin.”
Some part of Yoochun lets out the breath he didn’t know he had been holding.
part 2