so i pacify problems with kisses and cuddles
diligently doubtful through all kinds of trouble
cause i love to wash in your old bathwater
love to think that you couldnt love another
share a toothbrush...
youre my kind of man
i still love to wash in your old bathwater
make me feel like you couldnt love another
i cant help it...
youre my kind of man.
i used to loveeeeeeeeeee no doubt. theyre kickass right? and gwen stefani is hot.
imma be really random. just a fyi.
this picture makes me laugh.
i told you i'd never say goodbye, now you're slipping on the tears that made me cry. why does this come as a surprise? to think i was so naive. maybe it didn't mean anything to you, but it meant everything to me.
-nin
i just liked that.
connie is so fuckin high maintanence. not just that, shes so pickyyyyyyy. she made me mad. when she was with josh, she complained to me that the 3235897354 they talked on the phone everyday, he didnt feel like he wanted to be on the phone. let the man take a shit. geez. she got mad when he didnt call to check up. he hated it when he was out with his friends. she complained that two times a week wasnt enough seeing time together. she wanted him to go OUT OF HIS WAY for her to trust him, when btw, he gave her no reason at all to doubt. then she finds reasons now as to why it would never work. he owned a gun. therefore, he's not marriage material. he drinks too much. hes 22. let him live a little! he went to a strip club. oh god forbid! takee meeeeeeeee!@
im mad that girls automatically assume any type of emotion they have toward someone with a penis is love. oh fuck that.
to think that connie was all this is the guy im gonna marry!! how quickly us girls make up our minds.
so thats how marriages fail.
and i wonder sometimes...
i see so many messed up marriages now days. it makes me not even want to get into all that. i grew up having this idea of what marriage was. i saw problems. my mom and dad had problems. but still, i had this idea of how it was gonig to be when i got married. how i'd be madly in love with this person and just want to share everything with them. tahts not what marriage is about anymore. the marriage statistics now can scare anyone from forming such a pact. ugh. i dont want to talk about it anymore.
i just wish people would think before they rush into things. connie is just a prime example. just glad it stopped now instead of later.
connie has this longgggg list of qualities and things a guy must have in order for things to work out. tho that list somehow seems to disappear when someone comes a long. i had a list. in 7th gradge. dont get me wrong tho, some of it still stands. i just want someone that when they talk to me, i have their full attention. i wanna get lost in them. i want them to get lost in me. i wanna laugh at the same things. i want someone that understands, or at least tries to their best ability to understand. someone thats patient. someone with a smile that starts at the corner of their mouth. someone with eyes that i could look at all day long. someone who gets my sarcasm. someone who gets me.
is it too much to ask to be a priority?
is it bad that i want someone that thinks im beautiful? and actually tells me once in a short while. i dont want someone who thinks im beautiful despite my imperfections. he wont see my imperfections as imperfections. he'll love me for my faults and my shortcomings. he'll love my nearly non existant ass! my imperfections and shortcomings are me. im my shortcomings and imperfections. at least thats what i feel.
guess this is me dreaming.
i didnt go to class, yet again. i went to a friends house. then dragged him to borders. call me a dork, but i go to bookstores on a bi weekly basis. ugh. GEEK. anywho, i went into pier one too. can someone please buy me that store? k thanks. its so much fun. i cant wait till i get to decorate my own place. its gonna be the shit. im so retarded. my place is gonna be fun of candles and angles. how queer is that gunna be?
my friend cracks me up. he says that the minute he feels like he can fit me into one category, i go changing what he thinks. heh. he says sometimes im the girl with the black pants and hair pulled back neatly. then the next day, im the girl with the jeans that are a lil too big with chucks on. and one pant leg is always stuck behind the tongue of the shoe. or something. and disheveled hair. (MY HAIR IS NOT DISHEVELED!@#!&*(%#@ ok, maybe a little, sometimes) i pull the switcheroo sometimes. its fun.
i find it more and more hard each day to find a real, true, sincere friend. i mean you cant blame people. people have so much going on that its hard to make time for some peole. thats understandable. sometimes i just want an honest ear. someone that'll listen and then tell me what they think. theres nothing i hate more than when im sharing something with someone and all they say is uh huh. granted, i say that sometimes, but i try not to say it when people are sharing something important.
MLK Jr said in the end we will remember not the words of our enemies but the silence of our friends.
that can be taken so many ways.
there's this guy. clay. he hates me. does he know me? no. anywho he starts talking about kelsey. everyone laughs. he starts talking about me, and jewman stands up for me. then the jizz stands up for me. then zach. it made me feel good to hear that.
then it could mean just the silence you get from your so called friends. whether it be cause they arent listening or that they dont care.
in end, it just makes you cherish your real friends. ish gewd. very gewd.
you know when you hang up the phone after talking to someone you love, and you sigh, and whisper to that person, even though they cant hear you, i love you so much.
the lesson you learn and don't dare forget: what makes you grow old is replacing hope with regret.
-patty loveless
thats what im scared of. i dont want to grow old and wish i wouldve done things that i didnt do. i always say this, but im so young, and there's just so much i want to do. its ridiculous. i have so much i need to do this point in my life, so i push everything to the back of my mind.
you ever do that? or just put things off. or just figure what you think is stupid so you dont do it. or think that it wouldnt work out anyways.
i hate that.
sometimes i wanna just do things for now. i wanna feel good RIGHT NOW. i dont want to have to think of what'll happen later.
is that just immaturity?
is it immature to think just of the present and not the future? i wanna do what feels good right now. if it makes me happy right now, it cant be all that bad right?
see. i dont do that tho. thats probably the one thing that i wish i could change. i feel like i live more for tomorrow than i do for today. am i the only one that feels this way?
im always wondering whatll happen if i do this or that.
in catcher in the rye...hehe i told mike to read that...holden says i mean how do you know what youre going to do tiill you do it? the answer is you dont.
so i guess thats where i stop. i wonder. then i just wait.
you know what makes me really just burst on the inside? a genuine smile. it makes me so happy that something inside me just feels like its going off. you ever get that feeling?
you know what else gives me that feeling? getting lost in someones eyes.
heh.
babydawl7g (10:53:16 PM): i have a question
babydawl7g (10:53:18 PM): its queer
sander (10:53:25 PM): so r u
babydawl7g (10:53:28 PM): i know
sander (10:53:28 PM): but its ok
babydawl7g (10:53:31 PM): i agree
babydawl7g (10:53:35 PM): like
babydawl7g (10:53:40 PM): ugh
babydawl7g (10:53:43 PM): its sooooo queer
sander (10:53:49 PM): ok
babydawl7g (10:53:53 PM): like you hear about people saying shit like
babydawl7g (10:53:57 PM): oh i got lost in their eyes
babydawl7g (10:54:00 PM): blah blah
sander (10:54:04 PM): k
babydawl7g (10:54:04 PM): have you ever done that
babydawl7g (10:54:10 PM): just like looked at someones eyes
sander (10:54:18 PM): yeah
babydawl7g (10:54:23 PM): like for a longggggggggg timeeeeee
babydawl7g (10:54:31 PM): and like felt like you were getting lost in them?
sander (10:54:40 PM): not a longgggggggggggggggggggg timeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
babydawl7g (10:54:50 PM): how long
babydawl7g (10:54:57 PM): 10 seconds isnt a long time sander...
sander (10:55:08 PM): long enough for them to start to feel uncomfortable i guess
babydawl7g (10:55:36 PM): hehe
sander (10:57:46 PM): queer
im such a gay.
what jim morrison song is it that he says i am troubled immeasurably by your eyes? hehe. i can relate.
im starting not to believe in love. well not LOVE LOVE. i just imagined it to be.....so fairytale like. like youre in your own little world where only you two exist. it feels like that for...maybe a minute or two. then reality always kicks in. theres so much else involved that you start to forget the love that made it all happen. if that makes any sense at all.
babydawl7g (11:08:00 PM): wed always get a hotel
sander (11:08:09 PM): a hotel?
sander (11:08:10 PM): what?
babydawl7g (11:08:21 PM): hah
babydawl7g (11:08:27 PM): wed just push each other off the bed and shit tho
i keep trying to find reasons as to why i ever said those things to jimmy. why i felt that way at that moment. it boils down to so many things. i felt like i had no say in the way things were turning out. i felt like i was putting in more than i was getting. its just that he was the person that when something happened, even things miniscule, i wanted to run and tell him. kinda like my saving grace. the one thing that kept me sane. not just sane, but happy. there's a coldplay song and it goes cause i came here with a load, and it feels so much lighter now that i met you. so perfectly said. he had lifted all this weight off my shoulders. he was my person to turn to. he was the person i wanted to turn to. tho i told him otherwise a few times, he was the one thing that i could put my trust in. it takes a lot outta me to say that. you know, how you can say something so truthful that it hurts. he was the calm that i seeked. theres a song that asks let me be the calm you seek. thats the most personal thing you could ever ask anybody. i wanted to be that for him because he was that for me. and i wasnt. and it didnt feel right.
babydawl7g (11:32:41 PM): right
sander (11:32:54 PM): right ur face biznitch
lil fucker.
carpe diem, quam minimum credula postero.
seize the day, put no trust in tomorrow.
-horace, odes
cause i love to wash in your old bathwater
love to think that you couldnt love another
share a toothbrush...
youre my kind of man
i still love to wash in your old bathwater
make me feel like you couldnt love another
i cant help it...
youre my kind of man.
i used to loveeeeeeeeeee no doubt. theyre kickass right? and gwen stefani is hot.
imma be really random. just a fyi.
this picture makes me laugh.
i told you i'd never say goodbye, now you're slipping on the tears that made me cry. why does this come as a surprise? to think i was so naive. maybe it didn't mean anything to you, but it meant everything to me.
-nin
i just liked that.
connie is so fuckin high maintanence. not just that, shes so pickyyyyyyy. she made me mad. when she was with josh, she complained to me that the 3235897354 they talked on the phone everyday, he didnt feel like he wanted to be on the phone. let the man take a shit. geez. she got mad when he didnt call to check up. he hated it when he was out with his friends. she complained that two times a week wasnt enough seeing time together. she wanted him to go OUT OF HIS WAY for her to trust him, when btw, he gave her no reason at all to doubt. then she finds reasons now as to why it would never work. he owned a gun. therefore, he's not marriage material. he drinks too much. hes 22. let him live a little! he went to a strip club. oh god forbid! takee meeeeeeeee!@
im mad that girls automatically assume any type of emotion they have toward someone with a penis is love. oh fuck that.
to think that connie was all this is the guy im gonna marry!! how quickly us girls make up our minds.
so thats how marriages fail.
and i wonder sometimes...
i see so many messed up marriages now days. it makes me not even want to get into all that. i grew up having this idea of what marriage was. i saw problems. my mom and dad had problems. but still, i had this idea of how it was gonig to be when i got married. how i'd be madly in love with this person and just want to share everything with them. tahts not what marriage is about anymore. the marriage statistics now can scare anyone from forming such a pact. ugh. i dont want to talk about it anymore.
i just wish people would think before they rush into things. connie is just a prime example. just glad it stopped now instead of later.
connie has this longgggg list of qualities and things a guy must have in order for things to work out. tho that list somehow seems to disappear when someone comes a long. i had a list. in 7th gradge. dont get me wrong tho, some of it still stands. i just want someone that when they talk to me, i have their full attention. i wanna get lost in them. i want them to get lost in me. i wanna laugh at the same things. i want someone that understands, or at least tries to their best ability to understand. someone thats patient. someone with a smile that starts at the corner of their mouth. someone with eyes that i could look at all day long. someone who gets my sarcasm. someone who gets me.
is it too much to ask to be a priority?
is it bad that i want someone that thinks im beautiful? and actually tells me once in a short while. i dont want someone who thinks im beautiful despite my imperfections. he wont see my imperfections as imperfections. he'll love me for my faults and my shortcomings. he'll love my nearly non existant ass! my imperfections and shortcomings are me. im my shortcomings and imperfections. at least thats what i feel.
guess this is me dreaming.
i didnt go to class, yet again. i went to a friends house. then dragged him to borders. call me a dork, but i go to bookstores on a bi weekly basis. ugh. GEEK. anywho, i went into pier one too. can someone please buy me that store? k thanks. its so much fun. i cant wait till i get to decorate my own place. its gonna be the shit. im so retarded. my place is gonna be fun of candles and angles. how queer is that gunna be?
my friend cracks me up. he says that the minute he feels like he can fit me into one category, i go changing what he thinks. heh. he says sometimes im the girl with the black pants and hair pulled back neatly. then the next day, im the girl with the jeans that are a lil too big with chucks on. and one pant leg is always stuck behind the tongue of the shoe. or something. and disheveled hair. (MY HAIR IS NOT DISHEVELED!@#!&*(%#@ ok, maybe a little, sometimes) i pull the switcheroo sometimes. its fun.
i find it more and more hard each day to find a real, true, sincere friend. i mean you cant blame people. people have so much going on that its hard to make time for some peole. thats understandable. sometimes i just want an honest ear. someone that'll listen and then tell me what they think. theres nothing i hate more than when im sharing something with someone and all they say is uh huh. granted, i say that sometimes, but i try not to say it when people are sharing something important.
MLK Jr said in the end we will remember not the words of our enemies but the silence of our friends.
that can be taken so many ways.
there's this guy. clay. he hates me. does he know me? no. anywho he starts talking about kelsey. everyone laughs. he starts talking about me, and jewman stands up for me. then the jizz stands up for me. then zach. it made me feel good to hear that.
then it could mean just the silence you get from your so called friends. whether it be cause they arent listening or that they dont care.
in end, it just makes you cherish your real friends. ish gewd. very gewd.
you know when you hang up the phone after talking to someone you love, and you sigh, and whisper to that person, even though they cant hear you, i love you so much.
the lesson you learn and don't dare forget: what makes you grow old is replacing hope with regret.
-patty loveless
thats what im scared of. i dont want to grow old and wish i wouldve done things that i didnt do. i always say this, but im so young, and there's just so much i want to do. its ridiculous. i have so much i need to do this point in my life, so i push everything to the back of my mind.
you ever do that? or just put things off. or just figure what you think is stupid so you dont do it. or think that it wouldnt work out anyways.
i hate that.
sometimes i wanna just do things for now. i wanna feel good RIGHT NOW. i dont want to have to think of what'll happen later.
is that just immaturity?
is it immature to think just of the present and not the future? i wanna do what feels good right now. if it makes me happy right now, it cant be all that bad right?
see. i dont do that tho. thats probably the one thing that i wish i could change. i feel like i live more for tomorrow than i do for today. am i the only one that feels this way?
im always wondering whatll happen if i do this or that.
in catcher in the rye...hehe i told mike to read that...holden says i mean how do you know what youre going to do tiill you do it? the answer is you dont.
so i guess thats where i stop. i wonder. then i just wait.
you know what makes me really just burst on the inside? a genuine smile. it makes me so happy that something inside me just feels like its going off. you ever get that feeling?
you know what else gives me that feeling? getting lost in someones eyes.
heh.
babydawl7g (10:53:16 PM): i have a question
babydawl7g (10:53:18 PM): its queer
sander (10:53:25 PM): so r u
babydawl7g (10:53:28 PM): i know
sander (10:53:28 PM): but its ok
babydawl7g (10:53:31 PM): i agree
babydawl7g (10:53:35 PM): like
babydawl7g (10:53:40 PM): ugh
babydawl7g (10:53:43 PM): its sooooo queer
sander (10:53:49 PM): ok
babydawl7g (10:53:53 PM): like you hear about people saying shit like
babydawl7g (10:53:57 PM): oh i got lost in their eyes
babydawl7g (10:54:00 PM): blah blah
sander (10:54:04 PM): k
babydawl7g (10:54:04 PM): have you ever done that
babydawl7g (10:54:10 PM): just like looked at someones eyes
sander (10:54:18 PM): yeah
babydawl7g (10:54:23 PM): like for a longggggggggg timeeeeee
babydawl7g (10:54:31 PM): and like felt like you were getting lost in them?
sander (10:54:40 PM): not a longgggggggggggggggggggg timeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
babydawl7g (10:54:50 PM): how long
babydawl7g (10:54:57 PM): 10 seconds isnt a long time sander...
sander (10:55:08 PM): long enough for them to start to feel uncomfortable i guess
babydawl7g (10:55:36 PM): hehe
sander (10:57:46 PM): queer
im such a gay.
what jim morrison song is it that he says i am troubled immeasurably by your eyes? hehe. i can relate.
im starting not to believe in love. well not LOVE LOVE. i just imagined it to be.....so fairytale like. like youre in your own little world where only you two exist. it feels like that for...maybe a minute or two. then reality always kicks in. theres so much else involved that you start to forget the love that made it all happen. if that makes any sense at all.
babydawl7g (11:08:00 PM): wed always get a hotel
sander (11:08:09 PM): a hotel?
sander (11:08:10 PM): what?
babydawl7g (11:08:21 PM): hah
babydawl7g (11:08:27 PM): wed just push each other off the bed and shit tho
i keep trying to find reasons as to why i ever said those things to jimmy. why i felt that way at that moment. it boils down to so many things. i felt like i had no say in the way things were turning out. i felt like i was putting in more than i was getting. its just that he was the person that when something happened, even things miniscule, i wanted to run and tell him. kinda like my saving grace. the one thing that kept me sane. not just sane, but happy. there's a coldplay song and it goes cause i came here with a load, and it feels so much lighter now that i met you. so perfectly said. he had lifted all this weight off my shoulders. he was my person to turn to. he was the person i wanted to turn to. tho i told him otherwise a few times, he was the one thing that i could put my trust in. it takes a lot outta me to say that. you know, how you can say something so truthful that it hurts. he was the calm that i seeked. theres a song that asks let me be the calm you seek. thats the most personal thing you could ever ask anybody. i wanted to be that for him because he was that for me. and i wasnt. and it didnt feel right.
babydawl7g (11:32:41 PM): right
sander (11:32:54 PM): right ur face biznitch
lil fucker.
carpe diem, quam minimum credula postero.
seize the day, put no trust in tomorrow.
-horace, odes