for every life you've lived 3/3

[blurmeese]

yoochun/changmin
fluff & angst
pg13
20124 words
 

part 2

“You look like something the cat dragged in,” Changmin comments offhandedly when Yoochun slouches into the dressing room three hours before the pre-Christmas event. “Party hard?”

“I wish. It’s called insomnia.”

Changmin raises an eyebrow but says nothing, making a mental note not to be too difficult later, even if Yoochun insists on a horrendously colored shade. Touring together on such a whirlwind schedule has brought them closer than most stylist/celebrity teams but Changmin isn’t one to complain. While he might not trust too much in Yoochun’s artistic capability sometimes, at any rate he still makes better company than Heather noona.

“Did you even manage to get any sleep at all last night?”

Yoochun makes indiscernible noises as he shifts through the clothes on the rack, lingering on a fur lined jacket that Changmin desperately prays he passes over.

“Maybe one, two hours. Dunno. What do you think about this?” He holds up the said fur jacket and Changmin winces internally.

“Well that sucks. The sleep, not the jacket,” Changmin lies through his teeth. “Just throw something together and you can go nap on the couch or something.”

Yoochun throws a blissfully thankful look at Changmin before going over with the fur jacket in hand. While insomnia was one way to put it, Yoochun had actually spent the better part of last night and most of yesterday getting into pissy arguments with Jaejoong about how much sense Yunho has in him. Jaejoong was convinced that Yunho was heavensent (which was actually true) but Yoochun thought otherwise, still quite refusing to accept Yunho’s conclusion.

“Yoochun,” Changmin says slowly and Yoochun snaps out of it, sheepishly getting back to the task at hand. Changmin shakes his head slowly as Yoochun reaches for a bottle of hairspray. “You need sleep.”

“I need a stiff, stiff drink, you mean.”

Yoochun finishes up in half the time because Changmin rushes him through it, strangely accepting of whatever fashion faux pas Yoochun makes him commit on his behalf.

“Go ahead, couch is all yours.”

“Wake me up when we leave for the mall event.”

“As if I’d ever leave you here,” Changmin scoffs and steers Yoochun towards the couch, Yoochun tensing up at the feel of Changmin’s hands on his shoulders. Given the nature of his job, it usually happens the other way around but as Changmin sits him forcibly down on the couch, Yoochun finds that he doesn’t mind this flip-around.

“Wake me up if you have some kind of fashion disaster too, okay? Like…lost buttons or something.”

“Yoochun, look at what I’m wearing. It’ll take a nuclear bomb for anything to destroy this.” Changmin pulls at the synthetic leather of his jacket, sighing. “See? I can’t even tear it.” Even if I really, really want to, he adds mentally.

Yoochun gives Changmin a once-over before laying down.

“Don’t get into trouble without me,” he mumbles and Changmin just turns off the lights, fiddling with his cellphone in the dark.

-

“Why the hell are the both of you sitting in the dark like-”

Changmin shushes his manager, bundling the both of them out the door lest they wake Yoochun up.

“What?”

“He’s sleeping,” Changmin says, suddenly aware of how stupid this must look, him sitting in the dark with his sleeping stylist.

Changmin’s manager gives him an odd look. “Okay then, as long as he’s sleeping alone and you both have your clothes on, then that’s fine with me. Go get your stuff together, we’re going onstage in half an hour. Final soundcheck in five minutes.”

“Got it.”

Changmin creeps back into his dressing room, relieved to find Yoochun still asleep. By the light of his cellphone, he manages to get together everything he needs, only bumping into tables and chairs about thrice.

“You’re such a nuisance, you know that?” he says softly in Yoochun’s general direction and snatches a bottle of water from the carton his fans had dropped off earlier. “But an okay one, as nuisances go.”

As Changmin quickly scans through the clothes rack as well as he can to lessen his fashion violations by the tinny light of his phone, Yoochuns stirs on the couch, making Changmin feel a little guilty.

“It’s not my fault you’re fashion-impaired sometimes,” Changmin says and pulls something presentable from the rack, stripping his jacket off to put that on instead. He’s just about to put it back on the rack when he decides against it, draping it over Yoochun instead. At least the fur would keep him warm.

“Changmin, the hell are you playing at inside there? Get out here,” hisses his manager from outside his door and Changmin quickly smoothens the fur down, hoping Yoochun won’t get a mouthful of it when he wakes up.

-

When Yoochun wakes up, for a moment he thinks he’s been left behind, what with the room completely dark. Something warm is weighing on him and upon closer inspection, he finds that it’s Changmin’s jacket, spread over him to keep the cold out.

“Well I don’t even…”

Yoochun shrugs it off and goes to turn some lights on, checking the time as he does. Half an hour till the end of this current schedule. Changmin should still be onstage now, probably fielding fan questions and entertaining fangirl screams. Slipping the jacket on, Yoochun wanders out of the room, trying to kill time.

“Nice jacket,” one of the staff tells him as he passes and Yoochun grins, making a mental note to pass on the comment to Changmin. Of course, he won’t mention of that particular technician has a habit of wearing sandals with socks all year round.

The sound of high-pitched screaming draws Yoochun closer to the event hall and for a while, he lingers near the backstage partition, trying not to get in anyone’s way. Changmin is answering questions with his usual mix of snark and charm, Yoochun finding himself laughing at most of them.

“So Changmin, tell us about your outfit today. Stylish as always, aren’t you?”

“I’ll have to thank my stylist for that then, honestly I can’t dress myself in the morning.” Changmin throws a knowing look at his fans as their imagination goes into overdrive, enjoying every moment.

Yoochun goes to stand a little nearer to stage so he can watch and Changmin is seated just a stone’s throw away, looking quite good in the plain knitted pullover he’s picked out for himself.

“Your stylist must be a fashion great then, to be able to throw such outfits together all the time.”

“I wouldn’t say all the time but…” Yoochun steps a little closer, mumbling a sorry to a startled backup dancer. Changmin turns his head a little at the commotion and meets Yoochun’s eye, a smile instantly breaking out on his face.

“But?” the emcee prompts and Changmin turns back to the crowd.

“But he’s still fantastic all the same.”

-

Changmin wouldn’t call him and Yoochun a dream team or something but he’s sure that if he were to ask Yoochun, the stylist would agree that they did make a pretty bitchin’ team together. Yoochun stays efficient but slowly strips layers off himself, Changmin finding it more than fascinating to watch this process happen and sometimes be part of the reason why as well.

“You’re like this human onion, y’know?” Changmin pours himself another glass of Dom Perignon and refills Yoochun’s cup while he’s at it too. The champagne had been a gift from a fan, congratulating him on the next leg of his Asia tour. “Like…all these layers and layers you need to keep peeling. Why?”

“You’re tipsy.”

“I’m curious. And that, too, but mostly curious. Why all the peeling?”

Yoochun takes a swig of champagne, wincing as he swallows too fast. The bubbles are starting to make him lightheaded and possibly careless as well.

“Because I have a chocolate covered centre on the inside, it’s important to keep special things like this under the wraps.”

Changmin throws Yoochun a look that says “You’re more piss drunk than I am” but it’s one without malice, Changmin starting to feel rather fond of the other man as the champagne level in the bottle drops gradually. They’ve been at it for about two hours now, trading banter in the warm confines of Changmin’s dressing room. The Christmas eve event had ended at almost 10pm and they’re possibly the only ones left in this part of the building, that and the cleaning staff who’re probably cursing the creator of glitter to hell and back.

“One of us needs to be sober for the drive back,” Yoochun mumbles as Changmin peers into the bottle, trying to gauge how long more the bubbly will last. “I don’t want to be that person.”

“Then you should have told driver-hyung to stay back for drinks with us.”

“He wouldn’t be sober too, then.”

Changmin looks thoughtful at this revelation before deciding it’s a little too much to handle at the moment. He needs another drink.

“We should just stay the night here,” Yoochun muses. Earlier, he had been slouching against the couch but now, he’s almost fully stretched out on it, Changmin having commandeered the most comfortable chair. He sits backwards on it now, head resting on its back as he watches Yoochun watch him right back.

“This will be the saddest Christmas ever.”

“Are you insulting my companionship, Shim Changmin?”

Changmin laughs into his cup. Here they are, superstar and stylist, a few minutes before Christmas getting drunk on champagne in paper cups because there aren’t any crystal flutes to be found in community halls.

“On second thought, I think I’d rather be here with you than splattered on the freeway.”

“…why would you be splattered on the freeway?”

“Because we’re drunk you see. Drunk people always get into accidents on freeways and then they die.”

“That’s not always the case-” Yoochun starts saying but stops himself before he can tell Changmin how most of the time, it’s Heechul’s doing, not the alcohol.

“What do you mean?” Changmin leans forward in his chair, rocking back and forth alternating between the two front and back legs.

“I meant uh. Sometimes if there’s a raccoon in the middle of the road…”

“A raccoon.”

“Yeah,” Yoochun fumbles and mentally kicks himself for almost letting slip unmentionable things. “A raccoon. And then you hit it when it crosses the road. Whether you’re drunk or not.”

Changmin seems to ponder this for a few moments before accepting it, champagne making most pieces fit together no matter how misshapen. Christmas comes nearer without much fanfare, Changmin going to nudge Yoochun in the leg so he can make space on the couch for the both of them. Things like this to be celebrated together, or so Changmin claims.

“Doesn’t being in the same room mean we’re together already?”

“Yes but it’s Christmas, we’re already sad enough as it is. The very least you can do is let me share the couch.”

Yoochun moves over and Changmin ends up half squished next to him, the warmth of the other man more comforting than Yoochun would have imagined.

“Hey Yoochun, I’m glad I met you,” Changmin says at five minutes to midnight. “I’m really, really glad.”

“Me too. All these times and all the rest that will come.” Yoochun doesn’t even realize he’s letting slip more than he should again but Changmin is too tipsy to catch it, the room too cold to do anything other than squish closer to Yoochun who just squishes back.

“Merry Christmas, Yoochun.”

Yoochun tilts his head towards the sound of Changmin’s voice and that’s when he feels Changmin’s hand come up to cup his face, turn it gently towards him. Changmin kisses Yoochun over the sound of fireworks exploding in the distance.

-

“You did what?”

Jaejoong is gaping at Yoochun who sits at the kitchen table, staring into space. It’s snowing outside, the weather here more or less attuned to wherever Yoochun has his current job.

“I don’t know, Jaejoong. I don’t know.”

“Of course you know! You kissed Changmin!” There’s a triumphant light in Jaejoong’s eyes as he gloats over this fact, Yoochun not even bothering to consider reigning in the cat demon. “And to think you were denying everything all this while. Hah, Park Yoochun!”

“Technically he kissed me first,” Yoochun says slowly but there doesn’t seem to be any point in continuing the argument. So it’s official. Jaejoong is right and Yoochun is wrong and Yoochun finds that he really is in love with Changmin, probably has been all this while.

“What are you going to do about it, then?” Jaejoong asks the moment he has calmed down enough to take a seat opposite Yoochun. He still has a wild, overjoyed light in his eyes that deflates the moment Yoochun tells him.

“No,” Jaejoong says. “Not so soon.”

“And who was the one who was bouncing across the room when I broke the news earlier?” Yoochun sighs and props his head up on his hands, alternating between staring at the kitchen table and at the kitchen wall, avoiding Jaejoong’s gaze all the while.

“That was different. You’re jumping to conclusions.”

“Jumping to one you’ve pushed me towards from the start, albeit unwittingly.”

Jaejoong’s face clouds over for a bit before smoothening out again, Yoochun feeling a stab of guilt at dragging Jaejoong in deeper.

“You like him a lot, don’t you?”

Yoochun lifts his head and Jaejoong’s eyes are steady when he meets them.

“You like him enough to do this.”

“Yes.” Yoochun says with the slightest bit of hesitation. There. Out in the open now. Wasn’t there that human belief about things becoming finite the moment they were said out loud? Or was it about believing what you said?

“Then at least give it one more try first,” Jaejoong says at length. The shadows have grown in the little kitchen, Yunho about to drop by any moment now to take Jaejoong out somewhere nice on Christmas. “If his name is still there after you finish this job then we’ll just take it as a sign from the higher ups. Five times and you’re out, right?”

“Actually it’s three.” Yoochun smiles and Jaejoong laughs in response, says something about how Yoochun shouldn’t expect him to know too much about humans.

“You’ll have to teach me all these weird human sayings next time, okay?”

“So you’re okay with it? Next time?”

“Yoochun,” Jaejoong says gently. “Yoochun, you don’t need my blessing for this.”

“That’d be ironic considering how you’re a demon but thank you.”

-

Changmin doesn’t quite know how to act after that one night. Yoochun had kissed him back of course, the both of them eventually falling asleep on the couch and waking up on Christmas day with hangovers the size of Texas. Nevertheless, as Christmases go, Changmin is pretty sure this is one of the best he’s ever had. Yoochun turns up for work on New Year’s eve with a smile and Changmin can’t help but smile back, whatever worries he had about awkwardness fading away.

Maybe Yoochun is just taking this as nothing at all, Changmin finds himself thinking. One drunken night. He sits down in his chair and Yoochun flexes his fingers, ready to start his work. They’re early today, about another five hours more to go to the actual concert but Changmin’s manager hadn’t wanted to take any chances, given how this was going to be the last for this year and he believed strongly in ending with a bang.

“Did your head hurt for days after the 25th?” Yoochun asks as he rummages in his bag for a foundation brush.

“Hurt would be an understatement,” Changmin deadpans and Yoochun laughs softly, coming up with the brush. “It was a good Christmas though.”

Yoochun hums in agreement, casually bending closer to Changmin to make sure the base of the foundation is even.

“Everything alright?” Yoochun has been lingering a little longer than usual and even though Changmin is loathe to admit it, being in such close proximity with Yoochun is making him a little nervous.

“Yeah, just that…” Yoochun pulls gently at a few stray strands of Changmin’s hair. “I think your hair stylist left out these bits. I was wondering why something looked uneven.”

“Well you’re a stylist too, aren’t you? Just cut it then.”

“I’m not trained for that.”

Changmin raises an eyebrow at Yoochun in the mirror. “It’s just a few strands, Yoochun. I don’t think anything bad will happen if you cut them.”

Yoochun looks doubtful for a moment before shrugging his reservations off, going to look for a pair of scissors. Changmin was right, in any case. A bad hair day wouldn’t mean much to Changmin after today, seeing how it’s supposed to be the last day of this job. He hasn’t even given himself time to think about it yet, not sure if he’ll be able to go through with it once push comes to shove.

In the meantime, Changmin sits ramrod straight when Yoochun moves in with the scissors, Yoochun bending down closer than ever now to inspect which few strands he’s supposed to snip.

“I’m not going to regret this later, am I?” Changmin says jokingly to break the silence and Yoochun shakes his head, one hand coming to rest on the back of Changmin’s neck to hold him still. Changmin has the habit of moving about when he speaks. Now is no exception.

“I’ll just remind you that this was your idea,” Yoochun says and carefully snips a small section of hair off, drawing back to inspect his work and coming in close again to continue. “Don’t blame me if your fans turn on you after today.”

“Will keep that in mind, thanks.”

Yoochun still has his hand on Changmin’s neck and Changmin can’t help but be aware of its weight, the feel of Yoochun’s palm against his skin. If Yoochun does end up screwing this whole thing up, at least this will go down as possibly the most intimate haircut Changmin has ever had.

“I’m not trained for this,” Yoochun repeats again when Changmin mentions that Yoochun is taking longer than he should. “Sorry.”

“Nah, not your fault.”

Changmin relaxes a little into his seat and Yoochun is still painstakingly trying to fix Changmin’s hair without going overboard. Yoochun has resorted to turning Changmin’s head a little closer towards him so he can see better, hand pushing down on Changmin gently.

“Is this getting awkward for you?” Yoochun asks softly when Changmin tenses up again at the accidental flutter of fingers against his skin. Yoochun’s hand had flexed his fingers just the tiniest bit, a cramp settling into them.

“Not really.” Changmin lies. Every part of him is suddenly focused on how Yoochun’s hand feels on him, how close Yoochun is to him. When had he gotten this near anyways? Yoochun is still inspecting a particularly confusing section of Changmin’s hair when Changmin decides he’d rather spend his free time doing something else, rather than sit here getting a haircut.

“Yoochun?”

“Hm?”

“Would you put the scissors down for a moment?”

Surprised, Yoochun does as he’s told, sliding it onto the table. Changmin turns round in his seat now and Yoochun’s hand is gone, Yoochun steadying himself on the armrest of Changmin’s chair with both hands as he’s bent down and forward towards Changmin.

“Something wrong?”

“Not really. Earlier you were asking me if it was awkward…” Changmin trails off in the middle of his sentence and Yoochun is more confused than ever now. Changmin sighs, wondering whether he should start again. “What I’m trying to say is…oh, fuck this. Would it be awkward for you if I did this?” Changmin gets up from his chair and meets Yoochun halfway, kissing him for the briefest of seconds.

“What I’m trying to say is, Park Yoochun, I think I like you.”

Out in the open. Yoochun blinks and before he can even stop himself, he’s already pulling Changmin close and kissing him back.

-

Somewhere in the haze of his mind, Yoochun wonders if they should lock the door but Changmin is already stealing that thought away too, pushing him gently onto the couch.

“Can we do this?” Changmin is kissing the side of Yoochun’s neck when Yoochun asks him this, despite already knowing the answer to his question. “Changmin I-”

“I think your question is should we do this. In that case, no.”

Yoochun shifts his legs so that Changmin is half sitting in his lap, half straddling him.

“I’m not one for rules, Yoochun.”

Yoochun feels an internal shiver working its way up his spine when Changmin leans in closer. Logically, they shouldn’t but has anything been logical here so far? Him falling for a human? Changmin doing it right back without knowing who he actually is? Yoochun shudders when Changmin moves his body a little closer, the denim of their jeans causing the slightest bit of friction at all the right places.

“Neither am I.”

The slip with Changmin’s name on it feels like a weight in Yoochun’s pocket when Changmin hooks his fingers into the top of Yoochun’s jeans. They’re loose fitting, Changmin able to graze Yoochun’s hips with his nails.

“Well Yoochun, I’m glad we see eye to eye on this matter.”

“Me too, Changmin. Me too.”

They shouldn’t do this but Yoochun is afraid of never getting a chance again and Changmin, afraid that this will be the first of many. What am I going to do if I don’t get him again? Yoochun thinks when Changmin finally gets Yoochun off the couch and onto the floor, working at the buttons of his shirt now. Next to him, Changmin has his own worries too, half thinking about What if we can’t do this without getting found out? and Why the fuck can’t I get this last button?

“Changmin,” Yoochun says and Changmin raises his head. Yoochun thinks his heart will break if he never sees this sight again. “Changmin, your hands are shaking.”

“I don’t-”

Easily, Yoochun takes his shirt off over the top of his head, throwing it aside.

“There,” he says and pulls Changmin down on top of him. “No more buttons.”

No more reservations either.

-

When Changmin takes to the stage, he’s feeling nothing less than giddy. The crowd swims in and out of focus and between sets, he’ll try to sneak a look at the side-wings of the backstage area, if only to catch Yoochun looking at him. They had ended up wasting a good three hours together in that cramped little dressing room and Changmin was still wearing his own, now rather rumpled clothes when his manager burst in demanding for Changmin to move his ass out onstage for the final sound check.

“I don’t even want to know what you’ve been wasting your time with,” his manager had yelled before slamming the door, Yoochun and Changmin staring wide eyed after him before bursting into laughter. It feels like a good day to be alive.

“Encore stage, encore stage backing track,” Changmin hears one of the techies hiss to the staff handling the sound console as he steps backstage for a short breather before the last song. Yoochun is already walking over towards him.

“Good show,” Yoochun says and claps Changmin on one shoulder, his grip firm. Changmin notes the absence of a smile on Yoochun’s face but leaves it at that, the other man probably just as tired as he is.

“End the year in style after it?”

An unreadable expression passes Yoochun’s features but Changmin barely catches it, eyes still trying to adjust back from the glare of stage lights.

“Definitely. No more paper cups but I’ll say yes to champagne again.”

Changmin laughs at this and waves at Yoochun as he’s herded back out on-stage, Yoochun trailing after so he can watch the performance. One more time, Jaejoong had said earlier but Yoochun doesn’t want one more time. He wants it now, wants to just get this over and done with so he can have Changmin just the way he is now, without having to start anew from scratch. The lights dim even further and Yoochun goes as close as he can to the stage. Changmin is already standing in the middle of it.

“Thank you all for coming out here today,” he’s starting to say and there’s a knot in Yoochun’s chest, hurting a little because he knows that even if he were to do it now, there won’t be much of a normal life left for him and Changmin. How much can he get as long as Changmin is who he is now? But then again, if he finishes this job and it really is the last…Yoochun lets out a shaky breath. No. If it really is the last then it’ll just really be the last. Like Jaejoong said. 5th time’s the charm.

Changmin makes it through to the bridge of his last song when he thinks to glance to his left, where he’s sure Yoochun is watching him. Sure enough, Yoochun is there, nodding in time to the music but with the saddest expression on his face. What’s wrong, Changmin finds himself thinking in a sudden flare of panic and it’s only by sheer professionalism that he doesn’t walk over to Yoochun. Still, he can’t seem to take his eyes off Yoochun.

Later, reports will claim that had Changmin not been looking to his side, he might have seen the first few sparks the stage light cable had given out when it snapped, most probably avoided it too. But these are all just speculations and most people agree that accidents like this, no matter how unthinkable, do happen in the business.

Changmin is buried in a small, private ceremony with close friends and family attending. No one can find out where Yoochun is, which is a pity, considering how close the both of them were but the funeral goes on without him, Changmin’s fans staying a respectful distance away. Upon Yoochun’s request, Yunho is standing with Changmin’s family near the front, kneeling beside Changmin’s sister when she falls to her knees in quiet grief.

When all is said and done, Yunho will tell Yoochun that it’s safe to come out again and Yoochun will go stand by Changmin’s grave, hands shaking a little as he lights up Changmin’s paper with Jaejoong’s lighter. Yunho watches him from his perch on a nearby gravestone.

“I’m sorry,” Yoochun tells Changmin. “If I get to see you just one more time again, then I’ll make it all up to you.”

One last time. Just one last time is all it’ll take.

There ‘s a flare of light in the dark and Yoochun drops the paper on the fresh dirt of Changmin’s grave, waiting for the fire to burn itself out. From where Yoochun is sitting, it looks like Yoochun has just lighted a low burning candle on Changmin’s grave.

“You should read it,” Yunho says a while after the fire goes out and Yoochun is almost too afraid to pick the paper up, Yunho finally relenting and doing it for him. “Read it, Yoochun.”

By starlight, Yoochun will read the name over and over again until he’s sure it’s still the same eight letters. Changmin. Jaejoong was right, the fifth time’s the charm.

-

“So you’re going to do it, huh? Got that Changmin again and all. I heard from Jaejoong earlier.” Heechul flicks bits of chocolate at Yoochun and the latter winces, batting away the pieces that come too close. “Lucky bitch, getting all the chocolate in the world now. I’d leave too if I didn’t enjoy my work so much.”

“I’ll make sure to leave chocolate out for you guys then.”

“You’d better.”

Heechul bites into his fruit and nut bar almost viciously, this particular one scavenged from some child’s grave a few miles out of Beijing. Grave offerings or tokens of remembrance are technically considered job perks here but these days, it’s hard to get decent food, most people have started preferring teddy bears and all that rot instead of the good stuff. At least the Chinese still did things right most of the time with their annual Qing Ming thing, Heechul starting to prefer steamed buns over chocolate these days.

“I’ll come and haunt you or something when I’m bored, yeah?”

“Yeah.”

Heechul stares down at his half finished chocolate before breaking off one square, giving it to Yoochun.

“Consider this our parting gift then.”

Yoochun pops the square in his mouth. Chocolate has never tasted this good.

-

Changmin shields his eyes against the sun as he tries to flag down a cab, sweat already running down one side of his face. The city in summer is a less than desirable place to be but Changmin doesn’t really have a choice, the internship offered here much better than those at the outskirts. Another cab passes him by and Changmin is on the verge of frustration, the long work day stretching out in front of him not doing much to help with his mood. Trust the subway lines to break down on the what could be the busiest day of the year, summer break just started yesterday and the hospital bound to be filled with hung over college students very much regretting last night’s shenanigans.

When a cab starts coming towards him from the end of the street, Changmin is more than ready to flop into the back seat and enjoy the ten minute ride to work in air conditioned bliss.

“Excuse me?”

Changmin turns round at the sound and behind, there’s a man with a rather desperate look on his face.

“Yes?”

“I’m so sorry but the next cab, I’m rushing for something really really important and if I don’t make it, I’m not sure what will happen so please, if you don’t mind-”

The man is still rambling as the cab pulls up to the road shoulder and Changmin can feel his shoulders heave with a sigh. So it’s going to be one of those days.

“Go ahead, it’s okay,” Changmin manages out and the man throws him a grateful look, even shakes his hand before climbing into the cab.

“Thank you so much,” he says before he shuts the cab door and Changmin watches the car drive away. The sunlight reflecting off it’s back windshield is hurting his eyes, Changmin looking away before long. Maybe he should just try taking the bus.

-

Inside the cab, Yoochun tells Jaejoong to please turn the radio down, the bubblegum pop song that’s blasting through the car stereo already giving him a headache and he’d appreciate it if he didn’t die with one. In the front seat, Yunho agrees. He’d gotten into the car after Yoochun and the song was already at mind numbing proportions, something about what appeared to be a skater boy. Whatever that was.

“I need it to calm my nerves,” Jaejoong growls as he’s hunched over the wheel, weaving in and out of traffic.

“What nerves? Don’t act like you haven’t done this a million times over before.”

“Those times were different.” Jaejoong honks long and hard at a car trying to cut in front of him, Yunho noticeably wincing when a flurry of curses accompanies the honking for good measure . “Those times weren’t you.”

Yoochun closes his eyes as Jaejoong steps on the accelerator. He had a point but that wasn’t going to deter Yoochun from this. He’d heard from Junsu that some reapers had tried this before, either sick and tired of the forever game or too curious for words about the human lives they so often intervened in. Yoochun was neither but that didn’t change things much.

“It’s just a simple fact of breaking the rules, you know. That and accepting the consequences that come with it,” Junsu had said and Yoochun knew what he had coming. Save a soul you’re supposed to take and your reaper privileges get stripped. No more walking into lives custom designed for you. No more having skills and talents at a finger snap. And definitely, definitely no more living forever.

Thinking about it now, Yoochun has to scoff at the idea. He’s had a fair taste of forever and so far, it’s proving to be pretty boring. Sure, he’d miss having things go easy for him but then again, easy has all he’s ever known at this point. Another human saying, something about how you’ll never know if you never try? Yoochun smiles to himself as Jaejoong speeds through a red light. Humans are such fascinating creatures. Being one would be interesting.

“There’s still time to back down, Yoochun,” Yunho says from his shotgun seat and Jaejoong echoes his sentiments, albeit a little more rudely.

“You’re such a fuckup, you know that.”

“Been hanging around you too much I suppose,” Yoochun says easily, going to sit in the middle of the back seats. Changmin’s slip of paper is in his pants pocket and he closes his fist around it now, Jaejoong already making an illegal turn. “Visit me whenever, yeah?”

“I hate you for making me do this,” Jaejoong hisses and lets go of the wheel. The cab spins out of control and the last thing Yoochun hears is the sound of Yunho telling Jaejoong that he’s never, ever driving again.

-

When Yoochun wakes up, the first thing he sees is Changmin’s face hovering over him, going in and out of focus.

“You’re up,” Changmin says and Yoochun blinks slowly, trying to figure out just what the hell has happened. Some kind horrible feeling is creeping up his right leg and when Yoochun opens his mouth to ask Changmin what it is, all that comes out is a groan.

“Don’t try anything, you’ve got your leg in a cast and quite a few nasty cuts all over.”

“The cab-” Yoochun finally manages out and Changmin’s face darkens, disappearing from view for a while before reappearing above Yoochun again, this time with a cup of water. There’s a straw in it.

“Get some of this down before you talk, it’ll be easier.”

Changmin carefully puts Yoochun’s bed into a sitting position and Yoochun drinks, slowly taking in the scene. Hospital ward. Half empty. Probably late evening or early morning. And of course, Changmin, who’s now busy marking things on a chart.

“The cab,” Yoochuns starts again and Changmin looks up. “What happened?”

“You don’t really want to know. All I can say is you’re one hell of a lucky guy, you know that?”

“The driver…”

Changmin looks a bit exasperated at Yoochun’s persistence but relents anyway, coming a little closer to the side of Yoochun’s bed.

“It was a really bad accident. No body even, the car was burnt beyond recognition. I really shouldn’t be telling you all this right now but-”

“But I wanted to know.”

Changmin’s look exasperation gives way to guilt right now and Yoochun wants to reach over and ruffle his hair, tell him that it’s okay. Jaejoong isn’t really dead. He should know, given how the man in question is lingering by the doorway of the ward with Junsu in tow.

“I’ll come back and check on you if you need anything,” Changmin says, turning to leave but something makes him pause for midway. He looks back at Yoochun. “By the way, I’m not sure if you remember me but the cab…”

“Of course I do. I took your cab, remember?” Yoochun beams at Changmin who looks a bit worried at this sudden expression of happiness coming from his patient. Maybe the accident hadn’t left him with such minor injuries after all. “Aren’t you glad that I took it instead of you?”

“I wouldn’t say I’m glad, really.”

“Oh but you should be.” Yoochun settles deeper into his pillows. “Who knows if you have luck as good as mine?”

“That’s true-” Changmin sneaks a glance at the clipboard he’s holding “-Mr.Park.”

“It’s Yoochun, call me Yoochun.”

“Well Yoochun, thank you anyways for not being bitter about the whole thing. I know some people who would have taken this rather differently than you have and that’d be a bit awkward, considering…” Changmin trails off, realizing that he’s rambling. “Considering everything,” he finishes lamely.

“Don’t mention it.”

“In that case, I’ll see you on my next round, Mr. Pa-…Yoochun.”

When Changmin leaves the ward, he leaves with the oddest feeling, as if his patient had been flirting with him. Changmin shakes his head and goes to report to his senior doctor. What’s even odder is the fact that Changmin is pretty sure he’d been flirting right back.

-

“Junsu, I want you to get away from me right now.”

Junsu laughs as he sits at the foot of Yoochun’s bed. Hospitals are Junsu’s territories and now, given how Yoochun is human, there’s no telling what will happen when Junsu is around. At the very least, Heechul hasn’t shown up yet.

“Relax, I’m here on visitation, not for work.”

“Nice to know.”

“So, how does being human feel like?” Jaejoong stares, fascinated at Yoochun’s leg cast. “Does it hurt? How is the human kind of hurt? Is it worse?”

“It’s bearable, I think.” Yoochun flinches when Jaejoong nearly sits on his leg, trying to get Junsu to move out of the way. “Will be much more bearable if you don’t do that by the way.”

“Sorry.” Jaejoong has the manners to look sheepish but the look doesn’t stay for long, the cat demon too interested in finding out every little detail about Yoochun’s new human life.

“We’ll still be waiting for you when you somehow get back to us,” Junsu says when Jaejoong has finally exhausted his slew of questions, Yoochun not having many answers to give seeing how he’s only been awake barely an hour. “Don’t freak out if you see us around though, it’s most probably nothing.”

“Most probably,” Yoochun echoes and Junsu laughs his usual laugh, the sound strangely comforting in the ward.

“Kidding, kidding. You know the rules. We can’t touch you until the big boss says so. Even then, it’s only to take you back so just sit back and enjoy being a helpless, slightly useless human okay?”

“You bet I will.”

-

Jaejoong had refused to leave, so the next time Changmin makes his rounds, there’s a black cat dozing at the foot of Yoochun’s bed.

“I didn’t know the therapy animal group had black cats.”

“They don’t.”

Yoochun nudges Jaejoong with his unhurt leg and the cat stretches, purring as it does. Changmin looks more amused than anything.

“You’re not going to throw me out for having a cat in here, are you?”

“Well it depends.” Changmin takes Yoochun’s chart from its place on the bedside table and starts marking things on it again. “Personally, I’m more of a dog person though but don’t worry, I think you can get past with your friend here if I put him under the animal assisted therapy group.”

“Preferential treatment, eh?”

Changmin looks up from the task at hand, an indignant look on his face before realizing Yoochun had been teasing him. The expression softens and Yoochun is bemused at how many faces Changmin can make when he’s around him.

“Take it as an IOU.”

“I’d prefer drinks over a visitor’s pass for my cat, truthfully.”

“Okay then,” Changmin says casually as he goes back to his clipboard and stops mid-tick, suddenly realizing what he’s just agreed to with a patient of his.

“Don’t worry, I don’t think the whole workplace relationships thing applies here. It’s just drinks,” Yoochun offers helpfully and Jaejoong seems to agree, leaping down from the bed and going to sniff at Changmin’s shoes. “I won’t tell anyone.”

Changmin still look doubtful. “How about we talk about this when you can actually walk?”

“You’ve got to send me to the best physiotherapist you have now, then.”

Changmin grins and silently thanks the gods of medicine for patients like this every now and then. He hasn’t felt so comfortable around a patient before and the experience is more than welcome, even more so by the fact that Changmin feels like he’s known Yoochun before, as ridiculous as it sounds.

“It’s a deal.”

end.

a/n- :D Hi. So I'm...kinda back? A huge thank you to itsplashes , oldwillow_brook  and under_an_oak  for putting up with my constant prodding over this fic~ This placed first at the city_of_gods  contest, so also a huge thank you to everyone who read and voted! Since I didn't join in for dbsk_bigbang this year...can we just pretend this is my fic for that fest? hee~ ^^/