joyride

Jan 07, 2012 19:05

ot5
crack
pg13
501 words

It's Sunday morning in Seoul. The pious and devout are in church, the hungover are dead to the world and the famous are out buying groceries. Yoochun would give his left kidney to be anywhere but in the last category right now.

"Clutch and brake!" Yoochun screeches from the backseat when Jaejoong has to slow down to a laughable 80kmph for a speed bump and inadvertently, Changmin is reminded of a documentary on howler monkeys he had watched once on National Geographic. Yoochun seems to be doing a very passable imitation of one, given his backseat commentary so far. Jaejoong's driving usually doesn't invoke commentary as much as it does desperate prayers to God Almighty in His lofty heaven above. "Clutch and brake, clutch and brake for the love of god!"

Frankly, Changmin doesn't care as long as there's food and where they're headed right now, there is a lot of food.

"I'm driving an automatic, you asswipe," growls Jaejoong from the driver's seat. Yunho is gingerly patting his hand, sympathetic but unable to do much. Jaejoong turns round to gesture wildly at the foot area of the car. "There is no fucking clutch. Unless they're Italian made, manual cars are the spawn of satan."

"It sounds better than just telling you brake, doesn't it?" says Junsu, pausing in the midst of reciting the 23rd Psalm. "There's a ring to it, like drop and roll. Clutch and brake, drop and roll." There is a calm to him that one can only expect from those who have accepted their fate at the hands of death and Jaejoong's driving. "Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, Thou art with me…"

"When Jaejoong drives, there is no god" murmurs Yoochun darkly and shrieks when Jaejoong follows up an illegal U-turn with a right angle cut into an adjacent street that briefly has them driving on the wrong side of the road. "God has abandoned us."

"Eyes on the road, ignore the lot of them" reminds Yunho gently, a calm voice of reason in the midst of chaos just before Jaejoong decides to throw the driver's manual at Yoochun's face to make him shut up. The speedometer is pushing a nice, pants-wetting speed of 160kmph. "Eyes on the road, hands on the steering wheel."

"Hands around Yoochun's neck, you mean," mutters Jaejoong but at least he stops for the next red light, if only to turn around and positively bare his teeth at Yoochun who merely whimpers behind the cover of Junsu's Bible. "

Changmin takes opportunity of the non-moving car to finally open his bag of soft baked, dark chocolate chunk cookies. "You know, guys--" he says as he casually wipes a few fingers' worth of melted chocolate onto the upholstery. The next person to slide into the backseat after him will look like they crapped their pants. "--I love it when we spend time together like this."

fin.

AN- Just had my 2nd driving lesson today. Almost died. Multiple times. Wut D;

pairing: ot5, type: drabble, rating: pg13, genre: crack, fandom: tvxq, length: +500

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