"Then there'd be multiple lanes."
January: "Campus Safety, what's your emergency?"
February: "When you and Shamu share a mode of transportation..."
March: "Break me a fucking give."
April: "It's like Mrs. Doubtfire...except you get to keep your gender."
May: "I am now completely dewhorified...almost...I'm getting there. These things take time."
June: "Like The Oregon Trail for example: why was there no 'sexual favors' button?"
July: "I don't have a problem. I could stop being obnoxious if I wanted to."
August: "I painted my knee so that you can see the color."
September: "I think we just forgave you for being asian. Not sure how I feel about that."
October: Krista: "Why does the tree have a nail in it?" Sam P.:"So that it could feel how Jesus felt."
November: "Let me qualify that: in a non-slutty way."
December: "My vucks don't drive straight. They're still drunk."