Comments | babytessa: 43.

babytessa

43.

Feb 06, 2009 15:42

I feel very sad today. I feel let down. I just want to feel fully like myself again. Maybe even a better Candice than I was before.

Last night, I went to sleep thinking I was going to see Nick today since he made plans with me yesterday. At 4AM when I woke up to use the bathroom I had 4 texts from him explaining how his best friend Bob had been ( Read more... )

Comments 8

chicarooo2 February 6 2009, 22:04:43 UTC

aww i'm sorry ur day sucked bc of nick.. =/ but i'm proud of u for sending that last text! very good. =] sorry ur in such a sucky situation with him. but i hope he is there for your daughter like he should be. i guess that's really all that matters, even tho you obviously still love him and being a happy little family would be way easier on everyone. blah.. i want that too.

hope he writes u back something good..

ashale February 7 2009, 00:22:14 UTC

thats to bad hes like that but way to go with the last text!! Once Tessa arrives he;ll be dust in the wind!It cant get any better than the love from your child :0

babytessa February 7 2009, 02:37:51 UTC

YES. I keep reminding myself that she is just going to melt my heart and all my love and devotion will be going to her! And she will SO deserve it :)

babytessa February 7 2009, 02:37:15 UTC

Of course him being there for Tessa is the MOST important thing ever but at the same time, deep down I wish that one day he'll "wake up" and we can work it out and be a little family. He says he wants to fix things about himself and see what happens later in the future but Im tired of holding onto that.

He ended up calling me and apologizing and we got into a very long discussion about everything. I basically reinforced what I had texted him with and he seemed upset by it. He said hes not going to try and dismiss what he hopes can become of us in the future because he still loves me and wants to work things out. I told him I feel hurt holding onto that and basically just want Tessa to be here so I can care about her more than I care about him. I know it offended him a little but its the truth. He said he wants Tessa to come but he wants to care about the BOTH of us and not just her. -shrug- He is so confusing. I cant keep up!

Thread 6

sleepy_tears7 February 8 2009, 07:11:06 UTC

I'm proud of you.

You can't be with someone who can't learn to live without. I learned that when Erik and I were broken up. Now I'm not afraid of us breaking up. I don't let him walk all over me (as much) because I know, that without him I'll be just fine. And you will be too. If he straightens out (if he does, it likely own't happen until the baby is here anyway), then good, but you'll know you don't NEED him in your life, you WANT him in your life.

And seriously, you don't even know what the word love means yet. Just you wait until your beautiful baby girl gets here, unconditional had NO meaning until you see her face. Don't worry, you'll forget all about every guy you've ever known once Tessa is here; I promise you.

Are you going to take him to court for child support at all?

babytessa February 8 2009, 16:14:20 UTC

Right, I completely know that I do not *need* him in my life but of course I do *want* him in my life. I definitely agree with the whole changing thing - if he DOES change I know it wont be until he sees her face. He is so excited about her and as much as him and I have this not-so-good relationship (honestly, its not bad..its just sad that were not together I guess), I know he is going to love her the way a father should ( ... )