Depletable Matrix of Self Control

[bacchuswino]

 I don't know how this works for other people, but I have found that there is a steady stream of thoughts and emotions running through my head all the time. Many of these thoughts and feelings have very little to do with what I actually believe, or how I would feel if I gave myself time to consider the facts relevant to these feelings.

I do not

Comments

[llunaln]

I know this is going to sound crazy, and I am the last person on earth to suggest you read a book; that being said.. Read A New Earth by eckhart tolle. What your saying here is the same shit in that book. You may find it very helpful, let me know if you do end up picking it up. I'd like to hear what you think.

[lady_kas]

You're not alone. I feel much the same way.

My mom likes to say that I don't have a filter and that I say what comes to my mind at all times. But really I have huge filter and I can "see" it processing at turbo speed to control what comes out of my mouth. When I'm going through a storm of depression my filter is working more as a shield to hide my depression from others, because God knows I can't let people in the real world see me down, and there isn't enough energy for the filter to control the hurtful things that I say.

There's more but I always feel weird analyzing myself in other peoples LJ's. =)