Fic: Shadows Pulling Me To Lie With You Chapter 6/10
Title: Shadows Pulling Me to Lie With You
Author: backrose_17
Fandoms: Star Trek XI/Doom/Torchwood/Slight Doctor Who
Pairings: Kirk/Reaper!McCoy/Spock, Jack/Ianto, Sulu/Chekov, Scotty/Uhura, Pike/Archer, mentions of Jenny(the Doctor's daughter)/OMC and the Doctor/Tosh
Summary: A near-death experience brings to light a secret that McCoy has kept hidden for many years and now he must deal with the fallout. Meanwhile, Kirk and Spock fight the urge to claim McCoy as their own in order to keep him safe from someone within the Federation who seeks to control the Phoenix Force and use the legendary Reaper for his own nefarious purposes. Answers come in the form of McCoy’s grandparents, Jack and Ianto Harkness-Jones.
Rating: R
Beta: RoyalLadyEmma
Word Count: 38,074
Disclaimer: I do not own Torchwood, Doom, Doctor Who or the awesomeness that is Star Trek. The Phoenix Force is owned by Marvel Comics.
Art by: tresa_cho
Mixers: madscribbles and wyntreaurora
Chapter 6
As Bones had predicted, Jack and Ianto didn't surface until later the next day. It wasn’t hard for anyone who saw them to figure out what they had been up to for the last twenty-four hours, given the bright I-just-got-some grin Jack was sporting, or the spring in his step, or the numerous fresh love bites that decorated the pale skin of Ianto's neck. In true caveman style, Jack had made very sure that everyone could see and would remember that Ianto was a very loved and very taken man.
After enjoying a leisurely lunch in the Officer’s Mess, Jack went down to Engineering to talk to Scotty; he was very interested in learning everything he could about the Enterprise. Ianto, meanwhile, decided to use his time to go and talk to his grandson. A quick inquiry of the mess steward and he learned that the best place to find the doctor was up in the Medical Centre. It took a few minutes of whisking around the ship’s saucer and then going up several decks, but as predicted, Ianto easily found McCoy in his office.
He paused in the doorway and watched the man for a moment. It was so easy to see his mother’s features and influence in his grandson. He and Jack had been so proud when Leonard had gone to medical school, although the fact that he chose to join Starfleet rather than Torchwood after finishing his qualifications was a bit of a disappointment. Still, being chosen as the Chief Medical Officer on Starfleet’s flagship, Enterprise, was something that Jack loved to brag about when duty forced him and Ianto to attend official functions.
At the moment, the man in question was studying something on his pad with a thoughtful look on his face. "Am I interrupting you? I could come back later." Not wanting to startle the doctor, Ianto spoke quietly from his spot as he leaned against the door.
McCoy's head shot up in surprise and when he saw Ianto standing there, he quickly smiled with pleasure and shook his head. "No, I can talk now.” He turned off the data pad and slipped it into a drawer. “It’s nothing important." Actually, the report was important; there was a research facility on Starbase Five anxiously waiting to learn his findings. But he had a feeling he knew why Ianto was there without Jack just as he knew that Ianto might not find another opportunity to be away from Jack’s possessive presence while onboard ship.
Once the door closed behind him, Ianto took a seat in the spare chair and smiled tenderly at his grandson. Like Leonard, he knew that their time might be short, so he wasted no time in getting to the point. "I don't mean to be bold or overstep my place, but why haven't you claimed Jim and Spock as your mates yet? I know your Phoenix calls to them; it’s so lonely, Leonard, I can hear its song of longing," Ianto pointed out gently.
Leonard knew exactly what Ianto was referring to; the haunting melody of his Phoenix was the last thing he heard as he fell asleep at night, and the first thing he was aware of in the morning. He sighed deeply and hung his head before casting a glance at his grandfather. "I don't know what to do," he admitted softly to Ianto.
Ianto said nothing; he knew that if he just sat quietly and waited patiently, Leonard would say what was bothering him when he was ready.
Ianto didn't have to wait very longer as all the misery, rage and hurt that the doctor had been pushing down suddenly came bubbling to the surface like a volcano. "Those damn idiots!" Leonard snarled vehemently before leaping to his feet and sending his chair shooting out behind him. He didn’t even notice when it slammed into the wall and bounced back into his desk; he was already halfway across the room. Ianto didn’t react; he was used to seeing such volatile behaviour from Jack
The doctor’s voice sounded low and dangerous as he worked through his anger. "They acted like I'm some kind of prize to be fought over! I should have kicked both their asses for making me feel like I was nothing more than a piece of meat to be won!" Bones spit out his words like shrapnel as he paced the floor of his office.
Ianto calmly watched his grandson pace and after a few minutes, he finally decided to offer his own advice on what he'd observed between the three men in the short time since he’d stepped foot on the Enterprise. "The bond is already there between you three; you just have to trust yourself and your feelings. Leonard, you owe it to Kirk and Spock but most importantly, to yourself to complete the bond. They both feel it as strongly as you do and the uncompleted bond is what's driving them to act like this."
When he’d finished, Ianto sat back and calmly watched his grandson ponder his words and he saw the moment when Leonard realised that his grandtad was speaking the truth. He climbed to his feet, placed his hands on Bones' shoulders and forced his grandson to look him in the eyes. "I know better than anyone what you're going through. I spent so long denying the pull between Jack and me that when we did finally get together, we were both afraid of ruining what we had. It was just so hard to admit how we truly felt."
Ianto’s grip on Bones’ shoulders tightened. “We were so foolish that all it took was a single stupid misunderstanding to destroy our bond and..." Ianto's voice cracked with emotion as he recalled the moment his and Jack's bond had shattered and his words trailed off into silence. Hot tears sprang to his eyes and he blinked rapidly to prevent them from falling.
Worry lanced through Bones as he studied his grandtad’s grief-stricken face; he’d heard brief stories about the events surrounding their bond shattering and he knew that to this day it was still a very sensitive subject for his grandparents to talk about. "You don't have to tell me anymore, Grandtad." Bones felt badly that his fear and stubbornness was causing his beloved grandfather so much pain; the last thing he wanted to do to Ianto was rip open old wounds.
Ianto smiled softly at his grandson, his eyes shining with unshed tears, and shook his head. "No,” he said gently but gratefully. “I can get through this and you need to know so you don't make the same mistakes as we did.” Leonard led Ianto back to his chair, and when he was seated, Leonard pulled his own chair from behind his desk and sat down next to him.
“Your grandfather and I met once before when I was but a child and my Phoenix soul instantly recognized that Jack was my soul mate. At that very moment my soul began bonding itself to Jack's soul, but at the time I was too young; I didn’t understand what that truly meant. It wasn't until later when we started working together that I felt my soul sing again for the first time in years and that the song was for Jack. But I fought against it because at the time I loved another and was determined to save her. In fact, I put the world in danger to save someone I’d lost long ago."
Leonard studied his grandfather’s face and for the first time he actually saw the man through the eyes of an adult and not a hero-worshiping child. He could see the remembered pain deep on Ianto’s face as he looked back on his memories, but then his grandfather smiled at him. It warmed Leonard’s heart to see the joy and love of his life today glowing in his eyes; it was a look that gave him hope and courage for his own future with Jim and Spock.
Ianto noticed that his hands were shaking slightly and he took another breath to try and calm down before forcing himself to continue. "Jack and I hurt each other so deeply that it took a long time for us to heal completely, and even though we turned to each other for mutual comfort,” he grinned ruefully, “neither of us could or would admit what the other meant to us.”
Leonard said nothing, but he did smile back, pleased to see that the pain was fading from Ianto’s eyes.
“There was a woman who worked with us who had huge feelings for Jack and it turned out that Jack had some feelings for her. Well, events happened and she threatened to leave but Jack disappointed me; he reacted in a way that ended up shattering our new and tenuous bond. It took time for us to rebuild what had been so easily destroyed, and we realised that all the pain and suffering we had gone through could have been avoided if we’d just been open with one another. We had to learn the hard way to always be honest about how we truly feel."
Reaching out, Ianto took Leonard’s hand in his and looked deeply into his grandson's eyes as he gave his last piece of advice. "Do not make the same mistakes we did. Talk to Jim and Spock, Leonard. Tell them how you feel."
Leonard could only nod his head; after swallowing convulsively several times, he was finally able to get out in a choked voice, "I promise, Grandtad, I'll talk to Jim and Spock as soon as I can." 'More like when I work up the courage to talk to them,' he admitted silently. ‘I don't know if I can handle their rejection.'
"They're not going to reject you, Leonard. Just talk to them and you'll see I'm right; they both love you. The three of you are the missing piece the other two need and none of you are whole until you become one." Ianto spoke up the moment he all too easily recognized the look of self-doubt in his grandson eyes. 'He wears the same look I used to have when I was so sure Jack loved another.' He hated to see that look in Leonard's eyes but he also knew he was not the one who had the power to remove it.
'No, the only ones who can convince him that his love is returned are Kirk and Spock themselves. I just hope it doesn't take something as drastic as it took me and Jack to get them to admit their true feelings for one another.'
"I'll talk to them and soon," Leonard promised again. He wasn't sure if he could wait until something bad happened to force them to talk like it had with his grandparents. With all the danger Jim and Spock seemed to routinely find themselves in, he knew that something could easily snatch one or both of them away from him in a heartbeat. He also knew that an event like that would destroy him and that he would never recover from such a loss. 'I can't put this talk off any longer. I need to talk to them.'
The moment Ianto saw the look of determination in Bones' eyes he knew his grandson had made the decision to finally go after what would make him the most happy. 'I wish you luck; Jack and I both hope the three of you will be as happy together as we are.'
******
When Leonard called and asked him and Spock to come to his quarters for dinner, Jim felt hope fill him; maybe, just maybe, this was the moment they could begin what was destined to be between them.
The intimate dinner for three was filled with mindless talk of the past few days' events and stories of past shore leave compared to hopes for upcoming days on their next planet-fall. It was all very civilised and cheerful, but none of them dared to bring up the giant pink elephant that was stomping and trumpeting around the room.
Finally, after dessert and while enjoying a nightcap, Jim worked up the courage to approach the subject. "Bones, why did you invite Spock and me here tonight?"
Bones took a deep breath; ‘this is the moment when I lay bare all I feel for these two men.’ He could feel his stomach turn over at the thought; he feared what their response might be. "You know of the bond between Jack and Ianto, right?"
Spock and Jim exchanged a look before nodding slowly, wondering what that had to do with them.
Leonard swallowed hard. ‘These are my friends; since when did it become so difficult to just talk to them?’ "When the Phoenix Force created her first child, Ianto Jones, she did not want her child to grow up alone like she had and so she made sure that her child and his children would find a soul that would match theirs. These souls are the one or ones that call to the Phoenix soul, the one or ones whose song answers to their own. Like my grandtad once did, I have fought against the call of my song because it called to two different souls and that has never happened to a Phoenix before."
In that moment, Jim forgot how to breathe as hope filled him. 'Could he possibly mean me and Spock? Is that why he dislikes having Spock and me fighting over him?'
As if reading his mind, Spock voiced Jim's thoughts. "Leonard, are you speaking of Jim and myself? Are we the ones who call to your soul?"
Leonard nodded his head slowly. "That's exactly what I’m saying. I couldn't understand what either of you could ever see in a bitter old man like myself and then I saw the way the two of you were with each other and I could see that you could be legendary on your own and I knew I had no business coming between that." After his words came pouring out in one long, breathless burst, Bones’ voice trailed off into a whisper.
It took all of Jim’s willpower to remain sitting where he was and calmly sip his drink when he wanted nothing more than to cross the room and take Bones into his arms. ‘And I will be doing that very soon,’ but first he had to make something clear. Carefully setting his glass down, Jim stood up, placed his hands on the table and leaned towards Leonard, who was seated opposite him. "You are not a bitter old man. Bones, never before has anyone made me feel the way you do. From the moment I met you I felt like I finally and truly belonged somewhere and with someone. But it still felt like something was missing and I bet you felt it too."
Jim waited until Bones nodded before he continued, "And then I met Spock. I knew instantly that he was the missing piece of us. But when I saw how he got such a passionate response out of you all I could think about was you ending up with Spock and I let my jealousy rule my emotions. I was terrified that you might not want me and that made me fight for you." Jim smiled ruefully at the doctor. “I’m sorry it took me so long to get my head out of my ass, Bones.”
Spock took a moment to speak; he steepled his fingers and regarded McCoy solemnly. "I as well must admit that my judgement was clouded when it came to the two of you. The strength of your friendship left very little room for another to join in and I may have not reacted as quickly or as strongly as I should have."
Jim grinned at his second. "So basically you were jealous of mine and Bones' relationship."
Spock merely raised an eyebrow. "Captain, may I remind you that jealousy is a human emotion and therefore, as a Vulcan, I do not get jealous," he pointed out, emphasising his point with a slight quirk of his lips.
Jim's grin just grew. "Yeah, sure, you don't," and his own eyebrow rose.
As much as Bones was enjoying watching his two favourite verbal combatants sparring, he had one other thing to get off his chest. "As pretty and dazzling as the Phoenix is, you have to understand that I also have a darkness within me that is unlike anything either of you has ever seen before. At any given moment, the Reaper in me is swimming just beneath the surface waiting for the right time to come out. Even now my hands are stained with blood, so how do we know that I won't be the one to fall under its spell and unleash the Dark Phoenix again?" Bones confessed his greatest fear in a whispered voice laced with horror. "I'm a monster."
"You are not a monster!" The snarled words left Jim's lips before he could stop them and he quickly rounded the table, crossed the distance between them and grabbed Bones by the shoulders, literally pulling him out of his chair. "We all have blood on our hands, Leonard McCoy! You are no different than the rest of us, no better, and certainly no worse." Jim hated to hear Bones talk about himself in such a disparaging way and he vowed to do everything in his power to make sure Bones saw how wonderful and perfect he was in Jim's eyes.
"The Captain is right, Doctor, you are not a monster. We have all seen your work, the way you fight so hard to save all those you can and we see how deeply you feel the losses when you fail. A monster would not show these kinds of emotions." Spock had risen from his seat as he spoke and now he was standing next to Jim.
"You don't understand!" Bones snarled savagely as he shrugged off Jim's hold and began pacing back and forth. He hated remembering the things he’d done as the Reaper and if he was truthful with himself, he feared that Jim and Spock might turn away from him in disgust and fear once they learned just what kind of monster he truly was.
Seeing the pure self-hate in Bones' eyes made Jim's heart clench, and once again he reached out and grabbed Bones by the shoulders, forcing him to stop in his tracks. "So tell us, why don't we understand? We've all done things that have left scars on us and yes, even blood on our hands. We learned about the Reaper and what he was forced to do in the line of duty." Jim deliberately emphasised the last few words. "I repeat, you are not a bad man and there is nothing you can say to ever make me feel differently." He barely restrained himself from physically shaking the man in frustration.
Spock moved closer to the two of them. "The Captain speaks the truth for the both of us. Your actions and words have yet to prove to either of us the monster you claim to be. You are a good man, Leonard; we would not love you if you were not."
Bones' breath hitched in his throat as Jim smiled at him and tenderly stroked his cheek. "Spock's right; we would never love a monster. That must prove to you that you are not the monster you see yourself as," Jim murmured huskily.
"Who made you think so badly about yourself, Leonard?" Spock wanted to know the name of the person who made his mate believe that he was an unlovable monster.
Swallowing hard, Bones closed his eyes as the dull pain that was always at the back of his heart became fresh again as he whispered, "It was Jocelyn."
Spock had learned of Leonard's ex-wife through his official Federation records but had never had the chance to meet the woman. However, given the hurt she had caused his Leonard, he doubted he ever should, if only for her own safety. He did not want to be responsible for his actions should they ever meet face to face, although he was sure she would deserve whatever she received.
Jim, on the other hand, had had the rather dubious pleasure of meeting Jocelyn once; Bones had been pleading with her to be allowed to see Joanna on her birthday. Ever since hearing the woman humiliate his friend, Jim had hated the woman for denying Bones a chance to see his little girl.
"She was wrong, Leonard, and so are you." Spock broke the mounting tension in the room and moved even closer to his two mates. Being so physically close to any other person was well outside the normal parameters of his Vulcan comfort zone, but the need to offer Leonard comfort was his main priority and it over-ruled everything else.
Slowly wrapping one arm around Leonard's waist to keep him against his body Jim reached out and snagged Spock by the arm, bringing him into their fold and trapping Bones between their two bodies. "Spock is right; please, please believe us." Jim brushed a gentle kiss across Bones' lips.
A tiny whimper escaped Bones' mouth; he could feel the love flowing from the two men, passing through him like a current, washing over him like a river, soothing him, making him feel human. All he could think about was that he so desperately wanted to prove to them that Jocelyn was wrong and he wasn't a soulless, unlovable creature of death and destruction.
"Tell us, Bones, tells us that you love us," Jim needed to hear those words from the man who trembled against him.
With his heart pounding in his chest, Bones stared deeply into Jim's eyes before tearing his gaze away so that he could turn and look into Spock's dark, knowing eyes. Licking his dry lips, he voiced the feelings he'd had for both men since he'd met them. "I love you, both of you. I love you so very much." As a Vulcan, he'd never spoke those words before - he'd certainly never felt the emotion before - but hearing them for the first time, and seeing the change that came over the two men in front of him, Spock felt a sense of freedom he'd never thought possible.
Heat and love filled Jim's eyes as he glanced at Spock. "I think it's time we showed Bones just how much of a monster he isn't and just how loved he really is," Jim purred, his tone laced with pure seduction.
"That sounds like a sensible plan, Captain," Spock agreed, nodding wisely.
"Yes, please..." the quiet plea fell from Bones' lips; despite what his brain now understood, his heart needed physical proof from his mates that he was actually worthy of being loved.
Slowly Jim lowered his head. "With pleasure," he murmured before he laid claim to the mouth that he'd dreamed of kissing since the day he'd met Bones.
The rest of the Universe slipped away as the three star-crossed lovers finally became one and the Phoenix soul within Bones sang as it never had before. At long last, it was finally united with its mates and it was whole.
*****
On another part of the Enterprise, Ianto smiled with happiness as he heard Leonard's song of delight as his soul became complete. Yet even in that joyful moment, Ianto couldn't shake the feeling of dread that swept over his soul.
'Something is coming.'
*****
The next morning it wasn't hard to figure out that Kirk, Bones and Spock were finally together. Jim had seen no reason to hide that fact from everyone and he had made sure to leave several very visible bite marks on Leonard's neck. Despite the many, many times Bones glared at him, Jim kept a tight grip on Bones' hand no matter where they were or who they were with. Even though Spock did not physically hold Bones' hand, he did stand much closer than normal to the doctor and every few minutes his eyes would stray to his new mate.
As the three of them entered the mess hall all eyes fell on them and it was Scotty who found the courage to sum up everyone's thoughts on the matter. "It's about bloody time!" he bellowed across the room, his brogue thick with emotion. "We were about to lock the three of you in the turbo lifts if you didn't get your act together and soon." A rousing round of applause followed his words.
Well, everyone applauded but one. A scowl marred Jack's handsome face as he watched the three of them together. While he could not deny that Kirk and Spock made his grandson happier than he'd ever been, he couldn't help but worry that Leonard was setting himself up for another heartbreak. "I still have the right to threaten them with bodily harm if either one of them brings harm to Leonard," Jack grumbled to Ianto.
Ianto smiled at his husband, true love shining in his eyes. "Of course, Cariad, I wouldn't have it any other way just remember Just remember though, Leonard might not like that and you know how you hate it when he's mad at you." Ianto leaned in and kissed Jack softly on the cheek.
"Fine!" Still grumbling Jack sulked in his chair; he kicked idly at the table leg until Ianto caught his eye and raised an eyebrow in warning "I'll try and be nice to them but this doesn't mean I have to like either of them. I already made that mistake once with Jocelyn and look how that turned out," Jack growled darkly as he recalled the woman he'd once happily welcomed into their family.
Ianto didn't even bother to hide his grimace of distaste as he reached out and took Jack's hand in his. "What Jocelyn said to our grandson and how she acted was indeed horrible and downright cruel, but we've seen how Jim and Spock are with Leonard and it's clear they truly do love him with all their hearts. They are bond mates, Cariad, just as we are, and I know that we can trust them with Leonard's heart." Ianto reassured his husband. "I have a feeling they would tear apart the universe if it meant keeping him safe."
While Jack's dark look faded slightly he still scowled at the Jim and Spock. "Yeah, well, it still doesn't mean I have to like them."
'Well, that's something, anyway. More importantly, if Jack's focused on not liking Leonard's mates then he won't have time to figure out who my old friend is.' Ianto knew that Jack was still trying to discover the person who Ianto had called for a favour. All the immortal was sure of was that it had to be someone very important; it normally took an act of the gods to get the Enterprise to deviate from its assigned duties to come and pick them up. Ianto knew that once they got to Earth that was all going to change; there'd be no way to keep his secret after that.
Author: backrose_17
Fandoms: Star Trek XI/Doom/Torchwood/Slight Doctor Who
Pairings: Kirk/Reaper!McCoy/Spock, Jack/Ianto, Sulu/Chekov, Scotty/Uhura, Pike/Archer, mentions of Jenny(the Doctor's daughter)/OMC and the Doctor/Tosh
Summary: A near-death experience brings to light a secret that McCoy has kept hidden for many years and now he must deal with the fallout. Meanwhile, Kirk and Spock fight the urge to claim McCoy as their own in order to keep him safe from someone within the Federation who seeks to control the Phoenix Force and use the legendary Reaper for his own nefarious purposes. Answers come in the form of McCoy’s grandparents, Jack and Ianto Harkness-Jones.
Rating: R
Beta: RoyalLadyEmma
Word Count: 38,074
Disclaimer: I do not own Torchwood, Doom, Doctor Who or the awesomeness that is Star Trek. The Phoenix Force is owned by Marvel Comics.
Art by: tresa_cho
Mixers: madscribbles and wyntreaurora
Chapter 6
As Bones had predicted, Jack and Ianto didn't surface until later the next day. It wasn’t hard for anyone who saw them to figure out what they had been up to for the last twenty-four hours, given the bright I-just-got-some grin Jack was sporting, or the spring in his step, or the numerous fresh love bites that decorated the pale skin of Ianto's neck. In true caveman style, Jack had made very sure that everyone could see and would remember that Ianto was a very loved and very taken man.
After enjoying a leisurely lunch in the Officer’s Mess, Jack went down to Engineering to talk to Scotty; he was very interested in learning everything he could about the Enterprise. Ianto, meanwhile, decided to use his time to go and talk to his grandson. A quick inquiry of the mess steward and he learned that the best place to find the doctor was up in the Medical Centre. It took a few minutes of whisking around the ship’s saucer and then going up several decks, but as predicted, Ianto easily found McCoy in his office.
He paused in the doorway and watched the man for a moment. It was so easy to see his mother’s features and influence in his grandson. He and Jack had been so proud when Leonard had gone to medical school, although the fact that he chose to join Starfleet rather than Torchwood after finishing his qualifications was a bit of a disappointment. Still, being chosen as the Chief Medical Officer on Starfleet’s flagship, Enterprise, was something that Jack loved to brag about when duty forced him and Ianto to attend official functions.
At the moment, the man in question was studying something on his pad with a thoughtful look on his face. "Am I interrupting you? I could come back later." Not wanting to startle the doctor, Ianto spoke quietly from his spot as he leaned against the door.
McCoy's head shot up in surprise and when he saw Ianto standing there, he quickly smiled with pleasure and shook his head. "No, I can talk now.” He turned off the data pad and slipped it into a drawer. “It’s nothing important." Actually, the report was important; there was a research facility on Starbase Five anxiously waiting to learn his findings. But he had a feeling he knew why Ianto was there without Jack just as he knew that Ianto might not find another opportunity to be away from Jack’s possessive presence while onboard ship.
Once the door closed behind him, Ianto took a seat in the spare chair and smiled tenderly at his grandson. Like Leonard, he knew that their time might be short, so he wasted no time in getting to the point. "I don't mean to be bold or overstep my place, but why haven't you claimed Jim and Spock as your mates yet? I know your Phoenix calls to them; it’s so lonely, Leonard, I can hear its song of longing," Ianto pointed out gently.
Leonard knew exactly what Ianto was referring to; the haunting melody of his Phoenix was the last thing he heard as he fell asleep at night, and the first thing he was aware of in the morning. He sighed deeply and hung his head before casting a glance at his grandfather. "I don't know what to do," he admitted softly to Ianto.
Ianto said nothing; he knew that if he just sat quietly and waited patiently, Leonard would say what was bothering him when he was ready.
Ianto didn't have to wait very longer as all the misery, rage and hurt that the doctor had been pushing down suddenly came bubbling to the surface like a volcano. "Those damn idiots!" Leonard snarled vehemently before leaping to his feet and sending his chair shooting out behind him. He didn’t even notice when it slammed into the wall and bounced back into his desk; he was already halfway across the room. Ianto didn’t react; he was used to seeing such volatile behaviour from Jack
The doctor’s voice sounded low and dangerous as he worked through his anger. "They acted like I'm some kind of prize to be fought over! I should have kicked both their asses for making me feel like I was nothing more than a piece of meat to be won!" Bones spit out his words like shrapnel as he paced the floor of his office.
Ianto calmly watched his grandson pace and after a few minutes, he finally decided to offer his own advice on what he'd observed between the three men in the short time since he’d stepped foot on the Enterprise. "The bond is already there between you three; you just have to trust yourself and your feelings. Leonard, you owe it to Kirk and Spock but most importantly, to yourself to complete the bond. They both feel it as strongly as you do and the uncompleted bond is what's driving them to act like this."
When he’d finished, Ianto sat back and calmly watched his grandson ponder his words and he saw the moment when Leonard realised that his grandtad was speaking the truth. He climbed to his feet, placed his hands on Bones' shoulders and forced his grandson to look him in the eyes. "I know better than anyone what you're going through. I spent so long denying the pull between Jack and me that when we did finally get together, we were both afraid of ruining what we had. It was just so hard to admit how we truly felt."
Ianto’s grip on Bones’ shoulders tightened. “We were so foolish that all it took was a single stupid misunderstanding to destroy our bond and..." Ianto's voice cracked with emotion as he recalled the moment his and Jack's bond had shattered and his words trailed off into silence. Hot tears sprang to his eyes and he blinked rapidly to prevent them from falling.
Worry lanced through Bones as he studied his grandtad’s grief-stricken face; he’d heard brief stories about the events surrounding their bond shattering and he knew that to this day it was still a very sensitive subject for his grandparents to talk about. "You don't have to tell me anymore, Grandtad." Bones felt badly that his fear and stubbornness was causing his beloved grandfather so much pain; the last thing he wanted to do to Ianto was rip open old wounds.
Ianto smiled softly at his grandson, his eyes shining with unshed tears, and shook his head. "No,” he said gently but gratefully. “I can get through this and you need to know so you don't make the same mistakes as we did.” Leonard led Ianto back to his chair, and when he was seated, Leonard pulled his own chair from behind his desk and sat down next to him.
“Your grandfather and I met once before when I was but a child and my Phoenix soul instantly recognized that Jack was my soul mate. At that very moment my soul began bonding itself to Jack's soul, but at the time I was too young; I didn’t understand what that truly meant. It wasn't until later when we started working together that I felt my soul sing again for the first time in years and that the song was for Jack. But I fought against it because at the time I loved another and was determined to save her. In fact, I put the world in danger to save someone I’d lost long ago."
Leonard studied his grandfather’s face and for the first time he actually saw the man through the eyes of an adult and not a hero-worshiping child. He could see the remembered pain deep on Ianto’s face as he looked back on his memories, but then his grandfather smiled at him. It warmed Leonard’s heart to see the joy and love of his life today glowing in his eyes; it was a look that gave him hope and courage for his own future with Jim and Spock.
Ianto noticed that his hands were shaking slightly and he took another breath to try and calm down before forcing himself to continue. "Jack and I hurt each other so deeply that it took a long time for us to heal completely, and even though we turned to each other for mutual comfort,” he grinned ruefully, “neither of us could or would admit what the other meant to us.”
Leonard said nothing, but he did smile back, pleased to see that the pain was fading from Ianto’s eyes.
“There was a woman who worked with us who had huge feelings for Jack and it turned out that Jack had some feelings for her. Well, events happened and she threatened to leave but Jack disappointed me; he reacted in a way that ended up shattering our new and tenuous bond. It took time for us to rebuild what had been so easily destroyed, and we realised that all the pain and suffering we had gone through could have been avoided if we’d just been open with one another. We had to learn the hard way to always be honest about how we truly feel."
Reaching out, Ianto took Leonard’s hand in his and looked deeply into his grandson's eyes as he gave his last piece of advice. "Do not make the same mistakes we did. Talk to Jim and Spock, Leonard. Tell them how you feel."
Leonard could only nod his head; after swallowing convulsively several times, he was finally able to get out in a choked voice, "I promise, Grandtad, I'll talk to Jim and Spock as soon as I can." 'More like when I work up the courage to talk to them,' he admitted silently. ‘I don't know if I can handle their rejection.'
"They're not going to reject you, Leonard. Just talk to them and you'll see I'm right; they both love you. The three of you are the missing piece the other two need and none of you are whole until you become one." Ianto spoke up the moment he all too easily recognized the look of self-doubt in his grandson eyes. 'He wears the same look I used to have when I was so sure Jack loved another.' He hated to see that look in Leonard's eyes but he also knew he was not the one who had the power to remove it.
'No, the only ones who can convince him that his love is returned are Kirk and Spock themselves. I just hope it doesn't take something as drastic as it took me and Jack to get them to admit their true feelings for one another.'
"I'll talk to them and soon," Leonard promised again. He wasn't sure if he could wait until something bad happened to force them to talk like it had with his grandparents. With all the danger Jim and Spock seemed to routinely find themselves in, he knew that something could easily snatch one or both of them away from him in a heartbeat. He also knew that an event like that would destroy him and that he would never recover from such a loss. 'I can't put this talk off any longer. I need to talk to them.'
The moment Ianto saw the look of determination in Bones' eyes he knew his grandson had made the decision to finally go after what would make him the most happy. 'I wish you luck; Jack and I both hope the three of you will be as happy together as we are.'
******
When Leonard called and asked him and Spock to come to his quarters for dinner, Jim felt hope fill him; maybe, just maybe, this was the moment they could begin what was destined to be between them.
The intimate dinner for three was filled with mindless talk of the past few days' events and stories of past shore leave compared to hopes for upcoming days on their next planet-fall. It was all very civilised and cheerful, but none of them dared to bring up the giant pink elephant that was stomping and trumpeting around the room.
Finally, after dessert and while enjoying a nightcap, Jim worked up the courage to approach the subject. "Bones, why did you invite Spock and me here tonight?"
Bones took a deep breath; ‘this is the moment when I lay bare all I feel for these two men.’ He could feel his stomach turn over at the thought; he feared what their response might be. "You know of the bond between Jack and Ianto, right?"
Spock and Jim exchanged a look before nodding slowly, wondering what that had to do with them.
Leonard swallowed hard. ‘These are my friends; since when did it become so difficult to just talk to them?’ "When the Phoenix Force created her first child, Ianto Jones, she did not want her child to grow up alone like she had and so she made sure that her child and his children would find a soul that would match theirs. These souls are the one or ones that call to the Phoenix soul, the one or ones whose song answers to their own. Like my grandtad once did, I have fought against the call of my song because it called to two different souls and that has never happened to a Phoenix before."
In that moment, Jim forgot how to breathe as hope filled him. 'Could he possibly mean me and Spock? Is that why he dislikes having Spock and me fighting over him?'
As if reading his mind, Spock voiced Jim's thoughts. "Leonard, are you speaking of Jim and myself? Are we the ones who call to your soul?"
Leonard nodded his head slowly. "That's exactly what I’m saying. I couldn't understand what either of you could ever see in a bitter old man like myself and then I saw the way the two of you were with each other and I could see that you could be legendary on your own and I knew I had no business coming between that." After his words came pouring out in one long, breathless burst, Bones’ voice trailed off into a whisper.
It took all of Jim’s willpower to remain sitting where he was and calmly sip his drink when he wanted nothing more than to cross the room and take Bones into his arms. ‘And I will be doing that very soon,’ but first he had to make something clear. Carefully setting his glass down, Jim stood up, placed his hands on the table and leaned towards Leonard, who was seated opposite him. "You are not a bitter old man. Bones, never before has anyone made me feel the way you do. From the moment I met you I felt like I finally and truly belonged somewhere and with someone. But it still felt like something was missing and I bet you felt it too."
Jim waited until Bones nodded before he continued, "And then I met Spock. I knew instantly that he was the missing piece of us. But when I saw how he got such a passionate response out of you all I could think about was you ending up with Spock and I let my jealousy rule my emotions. I was terrified that you might not want me and that made me fight for you." Jim smiled ruefully at the doctor. “I’m sorry it took me so long to get my head out of my ass, Bones.”
Spock took a moment to speak; he steepled his fingers and regarded McCoy solemnly. "I as well must admit that my judgement was clouded when it came to the two of you. The strength of your friendship left very little room for another to join in and I may have not reacted as quickly or as strongly as I should have."
Jim grinned at his second. "So basically you were jealous of mine and Bones' relationship."
Spock merely raised an eyebrow. "Captain, may I remind you that jealousy is a human emotion and therefore, as a Vulcan, I do not get jealous," he pointed out, emphasising his point with a slight quirk of his lips.
Jim's grin just grew. "Yeah, sure, you don't," and his own eyebrow rose.
As much as Bones was enjoying watching his two favourite verbal combatants sparring, he had one other thing to get off his chest. "As pretty and dazzling as the Phoenix is, you have to understand that I also have a darkness within me that is unlike anything either of you has ever seen before. At any given moment, the Reaper in me is swimming just beneath the surface waiting for the right time to come out. Even now my hands are stained with blood, so how do we know that I won't be the one to fall under its spell and unleash the Dark Phoenix again?" Bones confessed his greatest fear in a whispered voice laced with horror. "I'm a monster."
"You are not a monster!" The snarled words left Jim's lips before he could stop them and he quickly rounded the table, crossed the distance between them and grabbed Bones by the shoulders, literally pulling him out of his chair. "We all have blood on our hands, Leonard McCoy! You are no different than the rest of us, no better, and certainly no worse." Jim hated to hear Bones talk about himself in such a disparaging way and he vowed to do everything in his power to make sure Bones saw how wonderful and perfect he was in Jim's eyes.
"The Captain is right, Doctor, you are not a monster. We have all seen your work, the way you fight so hard to save all those you can and we see how deeply you feel the losses when you fail. A monster would not show these kinds of emotions." Spock had risen from his seat as he spoke and now he was standing next to Jim.
"You don't understand!" Bones snarled savagely as he shrugged off Jim's hold and began pacing back and forth. He hated remembering the things he’d done as the Reaper and if he was truthful with himself, he feared that Jim and Spock might turn away from him in disgust and fear once they learned just what kind of monster he truly was.
Seeing the pure self-hate in Bones' eyes made Jim's heart clench, and once again he reached out and grabbed Bones by the shoulders, forcing him to stop in his tracks. "So tell us, why don't we understand? We've all done things that have left scars on us and yes, even blood on our hands. We learned about the Reaper and what he was forced to do in the line of duty." Jim deliberately emphasised the last few words. "I repeat, you are not a bad man and there is nothing you can say to ever make me feel differently." He barely restrained himself from physically shaking the man in frustration.
Spock moved closer to the two of them. "The Captain speaks the truth for the both of us. Your actions and words have yet to prove to either of us the monster you claim to be. You are a good man, Leonard; we would not love you if you were not."
Bones' breath hitched in his throat as Jim smiled at him and tenderly stroked his cheek. "Spock's right; we would never love a monster. That must prove to you that you are not the monster you see yourself as," Jim murmured huskily.
"Who made you think so badly about yourself, Leonard?" Spock wanted to know the name of the person who made his mate believe that he was an unlovable monster.
Swallowing hard, Bones closed his eyes as the dull pain that was always at the back of his heart became fresh again as he whispered, "It was Jocelyn."
Spock had learned of Leonard's ex-wife through his official Federation records but had never had the chance to meet the woman. However, given the hurt she had caused his Leonard, he doubted he ever should, if only for her own safety. He did not want to be responsible for his actions should they ever meet face to face, although he was sure she would deserve whatever she received.
Jim, on the other hand, had had the rather dubious pleasure of meeting Jocelyn once; Bones had been pleading with her to be allowed to see Joanna on her birthday. Ever since hearing the woman humiliate his friend, Jim had hated the woman for denying Bones a chance to see his little girl.
"She was wrong, Leonard, and so are you." Spock broke the mounting tension in the room and moved even closer to his two mates. Being so physically close to any other person was well outside the normal parameters of his Vulcan comfort zone, but the need to offer Leonard comfort was his main priority and it over-ruled everything else.
Slowly wrapping one arm around Leonard's waist to keep him against his body Jim reached out and snagged Spock by the arm, bringing him into their fold and trapping Bones between their two bodies. "Spock is right; please, please believe us." Jim brushed a gentle kiss across Bones' lips.
A tiny whimper escaped Bones' mouth; he could feel the love flowing from the two men, passing through him like a current, washing over him like a river, soothing him, making him feel human. All he could think about was that he so desperately wanted to prove to them that Jocelyn was wrong and he wasn't a soulless, unlovable creature of death and destruction.
"Tell us, Bones, tells us that you love us," Jim needed to hear those words from the man who trembled against him.
With his heart pounding in his chest, Bones stared deeply into Jim's eyes before tearing his gaze away so that he could turn and look into Spock's dark, knowing eyes. Licking his dry lips, he voiced the feelings he'd had for both men since he'd met them. "I love you, both of you. I love you so very much." As a Vulcan, he'd never spoke those words before - he'd certainly never felt the emotion before - but hearing them for the first time, and seeing the change that came over the two men in front of him, Spock felt a sense of freedom he'd never thought possible.
Heat and love filled Jim's eyes as he glanced at Spock. "I think it's time we showed Bones just how much of a monster he isn't and just how loved he really is," Jim purred, his tone laced with pure seduction.
"That sounds like a sensible plan, Captain," Spock agreed, nodding wisely.
"Yes, please..." the quiet plea fell from Bones' lips; despite what his brain now understood, his heart needed physical proof from his mates that he was actually worthy of being loved.
Slowly Jim lowered his head. "With pleasure," he murmured before he laid claim to the mouth that he'd dreamed of kissing since the day he'd met Bones.
The rest of the Universe slipped away as the three star-crossed lovers finally became one and the Phoenix soul within Bones sang as it never had before. At long last, it was finally united with its mates and it was whole.
*****
On another part of the Enterprise, Ianto smiled with happiness as he heard Leonard's song of delight as his soul became complete. Yet even in that joyful moment, Ianto couldn't shake the feeling of dread that swept over his soul.
'Something is coming.'
*****
The next morning it wasn't hard to figure out that Kirk, Bones and Spock were finally together. Jim had seen no reason to hide that fact from everyone and he had made sure to leave several very visible bite marks on Leonard's neck. Despite the many, many times Bones glared at him, Jim kept a tight grip on Bones' hand no matter where they were or who they were with. Even though Spock did not physically hold Bones' hand, he did stand much closer than normal to the doctor and every few minutes his eyes would stray to his new mate.
As the three of them entered the mess hall all eyes fell on them and it was Scotty who found the courage to sum up everyone's thoughts on the matter. "It's about bloody time!" he bellowed across the room, his brogue thick with emotion. "We were about to lock the three of you in the turbo lifts if you didn't get your act together and soon." A rousing round of applause followed his words.
Well, everyone applauded but one. A scowl marred Jack's handsome face as he watched the three of them together. While he could not deny that Kirk and Spock made his grandson happier than he'd ever been, he couldn't help but worry that Leonard was setting himself up for another heartbreak. "I still have the right to threaten them with bodily harm if either one of them brings harm to Leonard," Jack grumbled to Ianto.
Ianto smiled at his husband, true love shining in his eyes. "Of course, Cariad, I wouldn't have it any other way just remember Just remember though, Leonard might not like that and you know how you hate it when he's mad at you." Ianto leaned in and kissed Jack softly on the cheek.
"Fine!" Still grumbling Jack sulked in his chair; he kicked idly at the table leg until Ianto caught his eye and raised an eyebrow in warning "I'll try and be nice to them but this doesn't mean I have to like either of them. I already made that mistake once with Jocelyn and look how that turned out," Jack growled darkly as he recalled the woman he'd once happily welcomed into their family.
Ianto didn't even bother to hide his grimace of distaste as he reached out and took Jack's hand in his. "What Jocelyn said to our grandson and how she acted was indeed horrible and downright cruel, but we've seen how Jim and Spock are with Leonard and it's clear they truly do love him with all their hearts. They are bond mates, Cariad, just as we are, and I know that we can trust them with Leonard's heart." Ianto reassured his husband. "I have a feeling they would tear apart the universe if it meant keeping him safe."
While Jack's dark look faded slightly he still scowled at the Jim and Spock. "Yeah, well, it still doesn't mean I have to like them."
'Well, that's something, anyway. More importantly, if Jack's focused on not liking Leonard's mates then he won't have time to figure out who my old friend is.' Ianto knew that Jack was still trying to discover the person who Ianto had called for a favour. All the immortal was sure of was that it had to be someone very important; it normally took an act of the gods to get the Enterprise to deviate from its assigned duties to come and pick them up. Ianto knew that once they got to Earth that was all going to change; there'd be no way to keep his secret after that.