Fic: All Your Secret Wishes Chapter 8
Steve was worried when Jensen showed up at his bar looking like hell, skipping the beer and heading for the whiskey. That was over an hour ago and while he was taking his time in nursing his drink, Steve knew that Jensen planned on getting drunk that night trying to chase away what every was bothering him.
"He won't find any answers at the bottom of that glass." Danneel murmured, echoing the words Steve was thinking.
"I'll go talk to him," Chris growled under his breath. With his beer in his hand, he left the bar and headed towards Jensen, who had chosen a table in the dark corner.
It had been Danneel who called in Chris and Steve supported his mate's call. If there was anyone who could find out what was bothering Jensen it would be Chris. Still, it didn't stop him and Danneel from following Chris to Jensen's table.
After a few minutes of Jensen ignoring them by staring into his glass, Chris decided it was time to break the silence. "You can keep looking at that glass but it's not going to tell you anything. It holds no answers and can't give any advice."
"I nearly kissed Jared tonight," Jensen admitted, not looking up at his friends but keeping his eyes on the amber liquor.
Danneel, Chris, and Steve exchanged a look. That would explain why Jensen was here drowning himself in the good stuff. He was being forced to face his feelings for Jared.
"What did you do?" Danneel asked softly knowing that it hadn't ended too well if Jensen was here.
Jared's tearful eyes flashed before Jensen's eyes, "I told him nothing could ever happen between the two of us. I made him cry. He'll be okay once he finds another alpha." Jensen knew those words were a lie before they left his lips.
Rubbing his hand over his eyes, Chris wondered how he ended up playing counsellor, "Jared won't ever find another alpha; he has already found his perfect alpha in you, Jensen. And only a fool won't see that you have found your omega. No one will judge you for being with him. True mates are something rare and very precious that is cherished and honoured. You're only hurting yourself and Jared in denying what we all know you want."
Jensen knew that Chris spoke the truth that none of his friends would judge him for taking Jared as his mate. "How do you know that Jared feels the same way about me as I do for him?"
"It's obvious in the way that he looks at you when you aren't looking at him.” Steve spoke softly. “The love is clear in his eyes; you are everything to Jared just as he is everything to you."
Chris and Jensen could only stare at Steve; it was rare for him to speak such words of wisdom.
"That was so beautiful man. I think I might cry." Chris wiped a fake tear from his eye.
“Shut up,” Steve growled as he punched Chris in the shoulder, smirking as Chris flinched but refused to rub his sore arm. There was no way that he was going to let Steve know that he actually managed to hurt him.
Jensen heard what Steve was saying but the part of him that had raised Jared kept screaming at him that what he felt for Jared was wrong.
“Look, man, yeah, not everyone is going to understand your feelings for Jared. And there are going to be people who look down on your relationship because they don’t understand or don’t want to understand.” All three men knew that Chris was talking about some betas; they didn’t understand or feel the pull that alphas and omegas did when they had found their true mate. “But you can’t let a few closed minded individuals ruin what you have with Jared. He’s your mate and it’s doing you both more harm than good being apart like this.”
Deep down Jensen knew that what Chris was saying was the truth but that still didn’t make it any easier.
“Jensen, you need to stop thinking about what others will think and do what makes you happy. Do you love Jared?” Danneel asked cutting straight to the issue at hand.
“I do, more than my own life,” Jensen admitted.
“Then there’s your answer. Jared loves you. Now you have to decide if you love him enough to take that risk. Just don't take someone else home because you're confused. That will only hurt you and Jared in the end." Danneel pleaded with Jensen.
Jensen couldn't take anyone else into his bed. He only wanted Jared in it.
Jared felt horrible as he clutched the pillow to his chest. He had his answer. Jensen didn't want him and it tore his heart to shreds. He couldn't bear to seek out comfort from Jensen's scent and for the first time since the assault, he was trying to sleep in his bed and it wasn't working. He needed Jensen's scent around him.
The house was too silent. Jensen hadn't come home and Jared tried not to think what that meant. ‘Please don't let it be that he has chosen to share another's bed tonight.’ Jared didn't think he would survive if Jensen came home smelling like a beta or worse, another omega.
That thought brought a fresh wave of tears to Jared's eyes as he buried his head back in his pillows.
Jensen went to who he always went to when he needed advice- his parents.
He also needed to know that they were okay with him and Jared. He didn't want Jared to lose what little family he had.
If Donna Ackles was surprised to see her son standing at her doorstep Friday night when he should have been at home with Jared she didn’t show it. “Come on in Jensen, your father is in the living room.”
Without a word Jensen followed his mom to the living room where his dad sat and Alan greeted him with a smile. “Hello, son what brings you here at this time of night?” Alan asked.
“I’m in love with Jared.” Jensen blurted out and then cringed. That was not the way he meant to tell them.
“Son, your mother and I have known for years that Jared is your mate and we are more than okay with it.” Alan shook his head at the gobsmacked look on his son’s face but he also saw the fear in Jensen’s eyes. “We’re not ashamed for you finding your mate in Jared. The love you two have is something pure and precious. You two are true mates and that is something rare and precious that should be celebrated. Jared is yours. He has been since the two of you met. You just didn’t feel the mating bond because Jared was too young but you were protective over him.” That was an understatement. Alan had rarely seen actual mates be that protective over their mate.
“I think it's how Jared came into your life that makes your bond so much different. Here was a child looking for love and you alpha side recognized who Jared was subconsciously and needed to protect him and give him the love he craved and Jared looked to you for everything. That made your alpha side very happy.” Donna spoke up adding her own thoughts on the subject.
“There is no doubt in my mind that you and Jared have been slowly building your bond over time until Jared became the right age for you to claim him. Jared knows this, he can feel his omega side calling out to his alpha and he can’t understand why his alpha would deny him. Your bond goes both ways and I can bet while Jared has chosen his alpha he is having the same doubts as you. You need to talk to Jared. No one but the two of you can decided your fates.” Alan told his son gently.
“You wouldn’t hate me? Or Jared?” Jensen asked in a small voice.
“There is nothing you could do that would ever make us hate you and finding your true mate in your step-son won’t change that. We have seen you two together and never have I seen two people more meant to be than you too. Now go claim your mate.” Donna reassured Jensen.
“Thank you, mom and dad. I need to go talk to Jared.” Feeling happier than he had been in a long time, Jensen left his parent’s place with a lighter heart.
Now he just had to make things right with Jared. ‘Just give me another chance I'll make it up to you Jared, I promise.’
"Thanks, man." Jensen was grateful for Chris giving him a ride to his parent's place from the bar and now back home. He was in no shape to drive with the whiskey in his body.
"Yeah, no problem man. You needed to get home to Jared in one piece if you want to start making it up to him for being such a stupid head." Chris was thankful that Jensen had enough sense not to drive his car.
He had known it had to do with Danneel being there. She would have smacked Jensen upside the head for even thinking about driving like that.‘She is one scary lady.’
Jensen tried not to wince at the reminder of Jared as the image of him running away crying flashed before his eyes. ‘I really messed up there I hope he'll forgive me.’ Jensen hated seeing Jared crying and he hated even more that he was the cause.
"Jensen, Jared will forgive you. He loves you too much not to. Just tell him what’s in your heart." Chris hated giving advice but this was one time it called for it.
"I will, thank you. You're a good friend." Jensen knew that mushy stuff and talking about feelings would never be Chris' strong suit and it was a sign of a true friend that he tried.
"I'm the best and don't you forget it. Now get out of here and go get your mate. I'll bring your car back in the morning," Chris promised, as he shoved Jensen lightly.
Jensen was thankful that he had stopped drinking so that he wasn't completely wasted as he stumbled into the house. Climbing the stairs took more effort than he would admit but once he reached the top he didn't head for his room. He knew that Jared wouldn't be there. He would rather face the nightmares alone than seek comfort from the man who broke his heart.
Taking a deep breath, Jensen headed for Jared's bedroom and there on his bed was Jared. "Oh, baby." Jensen murmured as he sat down on the bed and noticed the dried tear tracks on Jared's face. Jared had cried himself to sleep and Jensen felt like a heel.
Lying down beside Jared, Jensen pulled him into his arms and gently stroked Jared's cheek. "I'm so sorry baby; I promise in the morning that I will do my best to make things right." Pressing a soft kiss on Jared's forehead, Jensen tucked Jared in tight, preparing to keep him safe from whatever might haunt him tonight.
Warmth and Jensen's scent was what Jared woke up to and with a sigh, he snuggled in closer. ‘It was all just a nightmare; Jensen didn't reject me when I told him my feelings.’ That was the only thing that made sense. Why else would Jensen be there comforting him? He had gone out last night.
A soft kiss was placed on his lips and for a moment he responded to the kiss. It was his first one; he had never let himself date. Not when his heart belonged solely to Jensen. Jared's eyes flew open as the events of last night came flying back to him. Slack jawed, he could only stare up at Jensen with confusion in his eyes.
Slowly stroking his thumb over Jared's lower lip, Jensen smiled at his confused soon to be mate. "Jared, I'm sorry for acting like an ass last night. I let my fear get in the way of my heart. I was afraid that you might come to regret being with me. You could have someone of your own age, not some old alpha."
"You're not old and you're not some alpha." Jared interrupted Jensen. He still had no clue what was going on but he could feel his heart beginning to soar. "Jensen, are you saying what I think you are saying?" Jared barely had the strength to ask the question, but he couldn't have his heart broken again by Jensen.
Jensen's smile was full of nothing but pure love as he gazed at Jared fondly. "I am. Jared Padalecki, I'm in love with you. I have been for some time now but I was too afraid to do what you had the courage to do last night. I'm sorry I hurt you. I will never forgive myself for making you cry. Can you ever forgive me and give me a chance?"
"You broke my heart when I thought you didn't want me. I thought you found me disgusting for being in love with you. Can you promise me that you will never hurt me like that again?" Jared needed to know that Jensen couldn't be capable of hurting him like that again.
"I promise you, baby. Jared, you are my true mate. You were made for me and I will do everything in my power to never hurt you like that again. The only tears I ever want to see from you are happy tears." Jensen waited with baited breath to hear Jared's answer.
All Jared could taste was this moment; all he could see was Jensen looking at him like he was the moon and stars of his life. Jensen was finally looking at him the way he looked at the other man. Jared's face lit up with a huge smile. "I love you too Jensen. I want no other alpha than you. You are the only one I can see myself spending my life with."
"I promise you baby boy, you will never regret trusting me with your heart. I will never break it." Jensen promised.
"I trust you, Jensen, I always have. Now can you kiss me again?"Jared asked tilting his head up and sending Jensen's his patented puppy eyes.
Chuckling Jensen tucked Jared in closer. "Oh, sweetheart you never have to ask." Lowering his head Jensen claimed Jared lips in a soft kiss.
"Jared," Jensen whispered as he slowly stroked Jared's cheek. His skin was just as soft as Jensen had always imagined it would be
The kiss with Jared was everything that Jensen had ever dreamed of and more. ‘Why did I deny myself this for so long?’
The tiniest of whimpers escaped Jared as Jensen kept the kiss soft and gentle no more than a feather's touch.
It was a promise of things to come.
ared couldn't think of a more perfect day than he and Jensen lazing about the house, cuddling together on Jared's bed and then later on the couch, exchanging kisses and just making out.
It was perfect except for one thing.
"When are you going to mate with me?" Jared asked as he and Jensen got ready for bed. Jared didn't see a point in them sleeping in different beds and Jensen was more than happy to agree.
Jensen was not prepared for that question and he nearly choked on air. "Baby, I would like nothing more than to mate with you but I thought that you would want to take it slow." It had been pure torture in being able to touch and kiss Jared but not to claim him just yet. "Plus I want to take you out; do this the right way," Jensen admitted.
Jared's heart soared at the idea of Jensen wanting to date him but he was more than happy to wait. Smiling with pure love in his eyes, Jared tugged his foolish mate into a kiss. "Jensen, I doubt two people could know each other more than us. I think we have waited long enough. I want to be your mate, I'm tired of waiting. Please, Jensen, make love to me tonight."
"Nothing would give me more pleasure baby than to make you mine." Jensen's voice dropped to a husky drawl that was full of sex and sin.
Well, two could play that game. "When I open myself up I picture it's your fingers in me playing with me and teasing me for hours; or it's you sitting in the chair with your dark eyes on me telling me just what you want me to do." Jared’s whispered confession sent a new wave of heat through Jensen.
Growling, Jensen straddled Jared's body easily, pinning the younger man beneath him, his powerful thighs resting on the other side of Jared's legs and his hands wrapping around Jared's wrists where he easily kept them pinned above Jared's head. "Be careful little boy, you don't want to play games with me. Do you want me to tell you how many times I got myself off to the image of eating out of your sweet ass for hours?"
At Jared's whimper, a smirk appeared on Jensen's face as he bent forward to whisper in Jared's ear. "Oh yes little boy ,I will make that fantasy come true when I keep you in this bed for days as I take my time tasting that taunting ass. I will have you a begging mess pleading for me to knot you and I will. When your heat comes I will knot you for hours... no, days. I will not let you leave this bed until I have owned and tasted every inch of your body and then I still might not let you out.”
‘Oh god, oh god, I am going to die!’ Jared couldn't think of better way to go than being fucked to death by his mate. Jared needed to feel more; arching his back he bared his throat to Jensen. "Please, alpha, claim me."
At that moment Jensen knew what true temptation was and it was Jared Padalecki begging to be claimed by him.
Jensen buried his hands into Jared's hair; he loved the feel of those silky locks running through his fingers. It was as soft as he had always imagined and he was going to love having something to hold onto as he fucked that delicious mouth. "I'm going to make you beg, baby boy," Jensen promised. "I'm going to make sure that you never long for another's touch. You are mine and mine alone." Jensen growled out.
Shivering, Jared couldn't contain his moan of desire at Jensen's promise. He really liked when Jensen got possessive over him.
Running his finger across Jared's lower lip Jensen found himself hypnotized by their softness and the need to taste them. "I'm going to kiss you right now, this is your chance to tell me no. I will do whatever you wish."
"Kiss me please," Jared begged as he wrapped his hands into Jensen's shirt.
The kiss scorched Jared to his very soul just like it did every time that Jensen kissed him. He was so glad that he didn't have that much experience with kissing because none of them would compare to Jensen's.
Jensen loved that Jared was untouched by the ways of passion; even the fact that Jared didn't have that much experience with kissing made the alpha purr. It saved him from having to hunt down and killing all those who dared to touch his Jared.
There was only going to be one person who got to touch Jared like this and it was him. "Mine. Mine and only mine." Jensen murmured against Jared's lips.
"Yours. I belong to you and only to you." Jared murmured back reaffirming Jensen's claim. He didn't want any other alpha but him.
Jensen was his and only his and that was all Jared cared about. Finally after so long, he could say that he belong to his alpha.
Jensen was the first to admit it that when it came to Jared he was extremely possessive and protective over his soon to be mate and he had a feeling that wouldn’t change at all.
Slipping his hands underneath Jared's shirt, Jensen reveled in the feel of Jared's soft skin against his rough hands. "We will only go as far as you want," Jensen whispered against Jared's lips.
"I want everything." Jared breathed out. He had dreamed of this moment for so long and even though he didn't know much about sex, he was very eager to learn what Jensen had to teach him. “I want to feel you so deep Jensen that even when we are apart I can still feel you.”
9a