Pepper Spray
Yesterday I bought a packet of fajita spice mix, so I could make Vegetarian fajitas for our weekly play date. Sadly the play date was cut short as our guests needed to call out the emergency plumber and go home before lunch. The n00b and I contented ourselves with an omnivore lunch of Caribbean patties and corn on the cob. Later, I offered to make the Vegetarian fajitas for Lucy instead, and we had a lovely dinner at Chris and Lucy's house in which the n00b forgot all of her table manners and did not get an ice cream. Just as I was leaving to come home, Lucy reminded me that we'd not even used half of the spice mix, so I slipped a clothes peg over the rest of the packet, stuffed it into a bag and then promptly forgot about it. I left the bag on the floor in the hallway on my way to take in the washing and water the strawberries before bed.
The N00b has developed an unhealthy fascination with the old china cabinet in the dining room. It used to hold all of our 'good' china, a dining set of hideous yellow with gold-plated rims. It was inherited from Vince's great-aunt Martha and features a set of covered serving dishes, which along with being the only matching set of plates in the house makes it very useful to drag out at Christmas or any other time we have a big dinner. Anyway, the china cupboard used to be completely forbidden to n00b because of all the breakables, but now that the china is safely ensconced in the new kitchen the empty cupboard has an irresistible allure. N00b keeps trying to take her naps in there, keeps putting all of her toys in there, and sometimes takes things like remote controls and mobile phones and puts them in there as well because it is the best hiding place in the world!
Now I have explained why there was a big bag of chilli powder in my hallway, and why I would find myself with my head in a cupboard searching through a pile of toys and blankets for a remote control, it is pretty obvious what happens next. As I am blinkered by the china cabinet, the n00b wanders off into the hallway. "Oh well," I think "The stair gate is closed, the front door is locked and there's nothing she can reach except shoes." A few moments later a warm spicy smell drifts in. "Someone must be having a barbecue," I think "at least they've got nice weather for it."
All of a sudden, the n00b begins to whimper. Seizing upon my stolen Sky remote, I hasten to the hallway to see what the trouble is. The trouble is that a packet of fajita spice mix in the hands of a two-year-old girl will cover a surprisingly large area, and also create a surprisingly large cloud of blindingly painful chili-pepper dust. To make matters worse, poor n00b has covered her hands in it, and then proceeded to rub her sore eyes with her chili-peppered hands...
One extremely loud bath later, my still slightly spice-scented daughter has stopped screaming enough to be put to bed. I then have to take the vacuum into the hall to do the Mexican-food-flavoured shake n' vac, and try to get as many spices out of the carpet, the shoes and the coats as I possibly can. On the plus side, n00b has learned a valuable lesson about suspicious powders, I have learned a valuable lesson about watching your child at every moment, and our whole hallway smells absolutely delicious!