I did the thing too
A
- Available: Available yes. Attainable no.
- Age: 24. Had to THINK about it. Oh jeez...
- Annoyance: Oh, so many many many things... I couldn't get through life without something to gripe about.
- Animal: Cats. Particularly mine.
B
- Beer: Over-rated. Pass the wine.
- Birthday: 24th Septemper.
- Best friends: Me.
- Body part on opposite sex: Depends on the person. We are all people, not just a sum of some body parts.
- Best feeling in the world: Being on stage on a good night with a great crowd. And I mean that.
- Best weather: Thunderstorms.
- Been in love: Oh... probably. I try not to think about it.
- Been on stage?: Yep, kinda making a habit of it.
- Believe in magic: As in Industrial Light And..... Sure.
- Believe in God: Probably not.
- Believe in Santa: Until I was 11, which is quite old. I read in the paper today that some supply teacher had been sacked for telling a bunch of 8 year olds that Santa wasn't real. I love how someone in childcare can be dimissed for telling the TRUTH. Methinks we're one step away from Bible-belt America's "Creationism as Science" kick.
C
- Candy: Prefer chocolate.
- Colour: Anything dark so the stains don't show up.
- Chocolate/Vanilla: Vanilla. Nothing should be chocolate flavoured unless it is actually chocolate. Do not fob me off with pale carbon copies!
- Chinese/Mexican: Depends on my mood. Leaning towards Chinese.
- Cake or pie: CAKE CAKE CAKE!!!!!!!!
- Continent/Country to visit: Asia.
- Cheese: Mild cheddar. Bring on the tasteless soap.
D
- Day or night: Day. I am solar powered.
- Dance in the rain?: Walk, not dance. And only when very angry.
E
- Eggs: As in Easter? No? Bugger off then with your boring normal eggs. And bring me a box of Milk Tray.
- Eyes: Mine are brown. I take it that's what you meant? Yes? Fine, don't answer me then.
- Everyone's got a(n): Agenda.
- Ever failed a class?: Not really, but I broke the marking criteria on an English exam one time.
F
- Full name: Not telling.
- Food: should not be so fecking complicated!
G
- Greatest fear: Something spider related. I try not to think about it.
- Goals: I've got a few lined up for next year, mostly in relation to my stand-up. I achieved all of them for this year!
- Gum: Spearmint.
- Get along with your parents?: Pretty much. My mother is as daft as a box of bats and my dad is so laid back its a miracle he's vertical.
- Good luck charm: Dylan Moran signed my comedy notes and wished me luck, and that seems to have worked.
H
- Hair Color: Darkish brown.
- Height: Five eight.
- Happy: I'll survive.
- Holiday: Does three days in Birmingham count? Nah, didn't think so.
- How do you want to die: Painlessly, with a long line of ticked boxes on my To Do list.
I
- Ice cream: Is cold.
- Instrument: Guitar. I have three. They are all broken.
J
- Jewelry: I have a Claddagh ring which I wear constantly, a Swiss watch, and a couple of amusing homemade bracelets which I wear because they make me smile.
- Job: Hotel receptionist/duty manager on lousy pay. Beginner but surprisingly good stand-up comic (according to all reports. I'm rubbish at self-publicity.)
K
- Kids: GET AWAY FROM ME!
- Kickboxing or karate: Moving about? You're joking, aren't you? I tell a lie. I did karate for a while.
- Keep a journal?: This thing. Technically not a journal, more random banter and showcasing/playing with writing bits. By journal you mean like a "I fancy Brad but I don't think he likes me he never looks at me and even though i did my hair all nice this morning he likes Veronica more than me sometimes i cry myself to sleep at night thinking about him oh god i want to die why doesnt he love me why why why why why" kinda thing? Erm, no.
L
- Longest car ride: Bus ride. Inverness to Manchester. Ten hours. NEVER AGAIN.
- Love: My cat.
- Letter: Erm.... what?
- Laughed so hard you cried: A long time ago. I don't really do that.
M
- Milk flavor: Banana.
- Movies: Oh thousands....
- Motion sickness?: Only if I read.
- McD’s or BK: McDonalds breakfasts. BK burgers.
N
- Number of siblings: None.
- Number of piercings: One in each ear.
- Number: Please, how old am I? Only tiny tiny children feel the need to have a favourite EVERYTHING. Ok fine, seven, but only because it's my lucky number according to my horoscope.
O
- One wish: What's the point of debating an impossible hypothetical? I'll decide when the genie finally gets his act together and shows up.
P
- Perfect pizza: Ham and pineapple.
- Pepsi/Coke: I'm interchangeable.
Q
- Quail: Isn't that the little birdy thing? Like a tiny chicken? I'm sure its lovely but there's not a lot of meat on it.
R
- Reason to cry: PMT + running out of chocolate = emotional breakdown.
- Reality T.V.: DIE DIE DIE!!!!!! WHY OH WHY ARE WE DEDICATING THOUSANDS OF POUNDS AND HOURS AND HOURS WORTH OF AIRTIME TO THESE CRETINS, THESE WANKERS, THESE HOPELESS WASTES OF SPACE AND OXYGEN. WHY ARE WE LETTING THESE ATTENTION-SEEKING TOSSPOTS EAT AWAY AT OUR VALUABLE TIME ON THIS PLANET? WHY ARE WE REWARDING STUPIDITY? WE ARE WE WORSHIPPING WANNABES? DIE YOU BASTARDS FUCK OFF AND DIE! GET A FUCKING JOB LIKE THE REST OF US! I think that covers it.
- Radio station: Classic FM. *feels old*
- Roll your tongue in a circle?: No.
- Ring size: They have sizes?
S
- Song: Not much of a music person. I'm one of those people who identifies most songs I like using the words "It goes sort of like this..."
- Shoe size: 7/8 UK.
- Salad dressing: Mayo.
- Sushi: Too scared to try. It might eat me from the inside.
- Slept outside: Don't remind me.
- Skinny dipped?: Nope.Wouldn't even be seen dead in a bathing suit, let alone without one.
- Shower daily?: You ARE joking?
- Sing well?: Yes. Maybe not so any more. I don't practice like I used to. No matter though. I got sick of people telling me to 'use my talent'. Might just go on X-Factor, get panned by Cowell and have done with it.
- In the shower?: No, the water messes with the accoustics. What a silly idea.
- Swear?: Yeah, quite a bit. Never aggressively. Only conversationally.
- Strawberries/Blueberries: Neither. I don't do the fruit thing.
T
- Time for bed: When tired. Or when i have to be up for work in six hours.
- Thunderstorms: Only when indoors.
U
- Unpredictable: I have no idea. I always know what I'm going to do because I have the added advantage of being able to see into my own brain. You would have to ask somebody else.
V
- Vacation spot: I've never really had a vacation. Furthermore, if I did I would have a holiday, because I'm English. So nurrrr.
W
- Weakness: I have no willpower. This is why I live on chocolate, smoke and drink too much and rarely get out of bed on time for work.
- Which one of your friends acts the most like you: Claire.
- Who makes you laugh the most: The Wife.
- Worst feeling: Nausea.
- Wanted to be a model?: "Here, please stand in front of this camera wearing this tiny thing made out of dental floss in minus-thirty-degress, hold absolutely still while we paint on your face for two hours, and now do your best to look surly yet horny at the same time. And smile. No, don't smile smile. Smile with your eyes. No, with your eyes. Hmm, this isn't working. Tell you what, go away for two weeks, book into a yoga clinic, don't eat anything, and we'll meet back here in a fortnight. Then you can go to a party and talk to people about clothes and pretend to be interested. Doesn't that sound fabulous?" Uh, no. Go away.
- Where do we go when we die?: Crufts.
- Worst weather?: Heatwave. I don't do warm.
X
- X-Rays: Shorter than gamma rays, longer than ultra-violent rays. Is this a physics question?
- Exes: I have those. Don't we all?
Y
- Year it is now: 2008.
- Yellow: Only very occasionally.
Z
- Zoo animal: Have not been to a zoo in YEARS. *wants to go to the zoo now*