(no subject)
Because cyber_gremlin somehow managed to locate this post and dredge it back up again... Had to repost it.
I bring you the song "GM Asshole," sung to the tune of Dennis Leary's "I'm An Asshole" song. For all you Asshole GMs (like me) out there, this song goes out to you.
GM Asshole
(as written by Sarah on a whim)
Folks, I'd like to sing a song about the Good Roleplayer's dream
About me, about you.
About the way our good roleplaying dice roll around way down in the palms of our hands.
About that special feeling we get in the midst of an intriguing storyline.
Maybe within the Kingdom of Middle Earth,
Maybe in a post apocalyptic city,
Maybe in the furry woods, or an abandoned castle,
Maybe even in a galaxy far, far away, we dont know.
I'm just a roleplaying GM, with a regular job.
I'm your average ST, character profiling snob.
I like West End and D&D and books about games.
I got an average group; we hardly ever flame
One and another. Our ST and players
are all well and able, and none of them -- slayers.
But sometimes that just ain't enough to keep a GM like me interested.
(oh no, no way, uh uh).
No, I gotta go out and have fun at some Mary Sue's expense.
(whoa yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah).
I make fun of profiles behind people's backs
and when they confront me, I cut 'em no slack.
I'm a GM asshole! (she's a GM asshole)
I'm a GM asshole! (she's a GM asshole, such an asshole)
I fuck up storylines so that some characters never do meet
I blow up planets if a character's profile is too fucking weak.
I'm a GM asshole! (she's a GM asshole)
I'm a GM asshole! (she's the world's biggest GM asshole)
Sometimes I godmode just because I can
Other players try to metagame, and then they get banned.
I'm a GM asshole (she's a GM asshole)
I'm a GM asshole (she's a real fucking GM asshole)
Maybe I shouldn't be singing this song
RPing and gaming and GMing on
Maybe my players are right when they tell me I'm wrong--
Nah!
I'm a GM asshole (she's a GM asshole)
I'm a GM asshole (she's the world's biggest GM asshole)
You know what I'm gonna do?
I'm gonna make myself a fucking beautiful, drop dead gorgeous, godmoding Mary Sue.
Blue eyes, with waistlength black hair.
She'll only wear form-fitting leather.
She'll be able to teleport and sew. (yeah)
And I'm gonna metagame that character as much as I possibly can
just to piss people off.
She'll never smudge her make up, or get her panties get in a bunch.
She'll know what everyone's thinking even before they so much as think it
And then when I'm done metagaming her
I'm gonna create another uber godmoder
And then I'm gonna wipe my ass with bad character profiles
And there ain't a goddamn thing anybody can do about it.
You know why? Because I'm the GM, that's why!
Two words: Game fucking Master, okay?
World of Darkness, Wizards of the Coast, White Wolf; they can have all the GMs they want
They can have a big good GM parade
Right through the middle of a Star Wars, Buffy, Roswell crossover
and it wont make a bit of difference
Because I'm the fucking GM, okay?
I am the most uber GM,
and as soon as I find a cure for Mary Sues
I'm gonna bring out my Bad Character Ass Whupping stick and beat players with it
You know why?
Have you ever had a GM freely accept godmoders into a game?
Multiply that by 15 million times;
That's about how many ass-whuppings I'll be giving out!
I'm gonna get my mage, and my rulebook,
and Steve Jackson, and my six-sided dice, and a case of cheap beer,
and look at these godmoders and say
(Hey! You know, you really are assholes!)
Why don't you just shut up and sing along with me?
I'm a GM asshole (she's a GM asshole)
I'm a GM asshole (she's the world's biggest GM asshole)
A-S-S-H-O-L-E
Everybody
A-S-S-H-O-L-E
I'm a GM asshole, and I'm proud of it!
Yes, I'm so proud to be a GM asshole. LOL
-- Sarah
I bring you the song "GM Asshole," sung to the tune of Dennis Leary's "I'm An Asshole" song. For all you Asshole GMs (like me) out there, this song goes out to you.
GM Asshole
(as written by Sarah on a whim)
Folks, I'd like to sing a song about the Good Roleplayer's dream
About me, about you.
About the way our good roleplaying dice roll around way down in the palms of our hands.
About that special feeling we get in the midst of an intriguing storyline.
Maybe within the Kingdom of Middle Earth,
Maybe in a post apocalyptic city,
Maybe in the furry woods, or an abandoned castle,
Maybe even in a galaxy far, far away, we dont know.
I'm just a roleplaying GM, with a regular job.
I'm your average ST, character profiling snob.
I like West End and D&D and books about games.
I got an average group; we hardly ever flame
One and another. Our ST and players
are all well and able, and none of them -- slayers.
But sometimes that just ain't enough to keep a GM like me interested.
(oh no, no way, uh uh).
No, I gotta go out and have fun at some Mary Sue's expense.
(whoa yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah).
I make fun of profiles behind people's backs
and when they confront me, I cut 'em no slack.
I'm a GM asshole! (she's a GM asshole)
I'm a GM asshole! (she's a GM asshole, such an asshole)
I fuck up storylines so that some characters never do meet
I blow up planets if a character's profile is too fucking weak.
I'm a GM asshole! (she's a GM asshole)
I'm a GM asshole! (she's the world's biggest GM asshole)
Sometimes I godmode just because I can
Other players try to metagame, and then they get banned.
I'm a GM asshole (she's a GM asshole)
I'm a GM asshole (she's a real fucking GM asshole)
Maybe I shouldn't be singing this song
RPing and gaming and GMing on
Maybe my players are right when they tell me I'm wrong--
Nah!
I'm a GM asshole (she's a GM asshole)
I'm a GM asshole (she's the world's biggest GM asshole)
You know what I'm gonna do?
I'm gonna make myself a fucking beautiful, drop dead gorgeous, godmoding Mary Sue.
Blue eyes, with waistlength black hair.
She'll only wear form-fitting leather.
She'll be able to teleport and sew. (yeah)
And I'm gonna metagame that character as much as I possibly can
just to piss people off.
She'll never smudge her make up, or get her panties get in a bunch.
She'll know what everyone's thinking even before they so much as think it
And then when I'm done metagaming her
I'm gonna create another uber godmoder
And then I'm gonna wipe my ass with bad character profiles
And there ain't a goddamn thing anybody can do about it.
You know why? Because I'm the GM, that's why!
Two words: Game fucking Master, okay?
World of Darkness, Wizards of the Coast, White Wolf; they can have all the GMs they want
They can have a big good GM parade
Right through the middle of a Star Wars, Buffy, Roswell crossover
and it wont make a bit of difference
Because I'm the fucking GM, okay?
I am the most uber GM,
and as soon as I find a cure for Mary Sues
I'm gonna bring out my Bad Character Ass Whupping stick and beat players with it
You know why?
Have you ever had a GM freely accept godmoders into a game?
Multiply that by 15 million times;
That's about how many ass-whuppings I'll be giving out!
I'm gonna get my mage, and my rulebook,
and Steve Jackson, and my six-sided dice, and a case of cheap beer,
and look at these godmoders and say
(Hey! You know, you really are assholes!)
Why don't you just shut up and sing along with me?
I'm a GM asshole (she's a GM asshole)
I'm a GM asshole (she's the world's biggest GM asshole)
A-S-S-H-O-L-E
Everybody
A-S-S-H-O-L-E
I'm a GM asshole, and I'm proud of it!
Yes, I'm so proud to be a GM asshole. LOL
-- Sarah