FIC: In These Arms
Title: In These Arms
Author: Cassie Morgan badfalcon
Fandom: ITBN
Categories: Christian Kane/Steve Carlson, Angst,
Rating: PG-13
Thanks to: You, for reading this. yanzadracan for the beta.
Disclaimer: Christian Kane and Steve Carlson are real people, and the events in this story are just that - fictional, figments of my sick and twisted imagination. Hell, call it a fantasy if it makes you feel better. Whatever. No rumours should be started in regards to any events in these works of fiction. This story is written purely for entertainment purposes and no money is being made out of it
Notes: Written for the kissbingo prompt Time: Last
Summary: Christian's accepted, over the last months, that he's dying and has come to terms with it. He knows exactly where he wants to be when he draws his final breath, he knows what his dying with will be and he knows what he wants the last thing he sees to be. All three of them are the same thing: Steve.
"Steve?" Christian whispered, his voice husky with sleep. He licked his lips and squeezed Steve's hand; smiling when Steve leaned over and kissing him softly on the lips.
"Hey," Steve whispered in return, running his thumb over Christian's cheek. "Sleep well?"
"Yeah." Christian stretched then rolled onto his side to face Steve. "You do something for me?"
Steve nodded. "Anything," he promised, pulling Christian closer and frowning when he pulled back. "Chris?"
"Tell..." Christian swallowed and licked his lips again, coughing roughly, his chest rattling with the force.
"You want some water?" Steve offered and sat up
"I'll have a beer," Christian replied deadpan, his eyes sparkling with mischief despite the drugs pumping around his system. He smiled at Steve's snort of disbelief, laughter bubbling out of him unexpectedly. He coughed then winced, face paling and lined with pain but was determined to carry on teasing Steve, desperate to see him smile, to hear him laugh. "Too early for a beer? Does it even matter how early it is when all I do is sleep?" He paused and met Steve's eyes, letting Steve's smile - no matter how weak - wash over him. "You're not gonna deny a dy..."
"Don’t'..." Steve winced and shook his head, pressing one finger over Christian's lips. "Chris..." He exhaled shakily, a tense silence settling between them before Steve swallowed audibly. "If you waste your dying wish on a beer Kane," he said, his voice high and shaky, "I will kill you myself." He looked back up at Christian, his eyes wet with tears.
Christian's lips quirked upwards and he brushed his lips over Steve's. "Guess a water will do then. Thank you"
Steve nodded and swung out of bed. "I'll be right back." He padded out of the bedroom, quickly making his way to the kitchen and running the tap, pouring a glass of water for Christian. By the time he returned to the bedroom, Christian was asleep. Steve placed the glass on the bedside table then slid in next to Christian, pulling him into his arms and pressing a kiss to his temple. He frowned at Christian's laboured breathing and his heart dropped. He pressed his lips together in a thin white line, blinking rapidly as he tried not to cry.
"You bring me that beer?" Christian asked softly, brushing Steve's tears away with his fingers.
Steve scrubbed a hand over his face and choked out a short laugh. "Yeah." He grabbed the glass and helped Christian sit up, holding him against his chest as he drank.
"Better?" He asked at Christian's satisfied sigh.
"Yeah," Christian nodded and curled against Steve, his head resting on Steve's shoulder as his eyelids slid closed again.
"Go back to sleep, Chris," Steve suggested, wrapping his arms around Christian.
"If I wanted to sleep," Christian protested, "I would have stayed in the hospital. Came home cos I wanted to be with you. Gonna have plenty of time to sleep soon enough."
Steve's breath caught in his throat and his arms tightened around Christian. "Chris..."
"That anything you promised me you'd do? I... Steve, tell my Momma I love her."
"No." Steve’s voice cracked and he shook his head. ""You want to tell your Mom you love her, you can tell her yourself. Your parents are on the plane, they're gonna be landing in a couple of hours so you can damn well tell her you love her - and explain to her why you didn't tell her you were sick yourself, damnit Christian."
Christian squeezed his eyes shut, trying - and failing - to stop his tears from overflowing. He ran his fingers down the side of Steve's face. "I don't think I have a couple hours," he admitted quietly. He winced as Steve's arms tightened around him.
"No. No, don't... don't say that. Chris, please..." Tears streamed unchecked down Steve’s face
"Don't cry darlin'," Christian begged, reaching up and wiping Steve's tears away with his finger tips, pressing a dry, soft kiss to each cheek. "I don't... Wanna see you smile."
Steve forced a smile, rolling slightly to face Christian, resting their foreheads together. "Smile?" he asked, incredulously.
"I love your smile," Christian whispered, his fingers tracing Steve's lips. He smiled as Steve kissed his fingertips. "We knew this was gonna happen," he reminded Steve, another coughing fit leaving him gasping, drops of sweat beading on his forehead.
"Doesn't mean I like it. I don't want you to die."
"I don't wanna die," Christian admitted, more tears falling. "I... hold me?" Steve nodded, pulling Christian against his chest; Christian sighing as he relaxed against him.
"Promise me something?"
"Anything."
"Keep going... After I die," Christian clarified. "The songs you've written this yea - I want you to record and release them. I want you to keep writin’ and playin’... y'hear me Steve? I want you to keep bein you. Can you do that for me, darlin'?"
Steve nodded wordlessly, not trusting his voice. His shoulders shook with the force of his tears. "Chris..."
"Promise me. Please."
"I promise."
Christian sighed and nodded. "Thank you." He twisted to face Steve and wiped his tears away again, before wiping his own. He cupped Steve's face in his shaking hands, thumbs stroking his cheekbones. "I love you, Steve," he whispered,
Christian kissed Steve gently on the lips. He shuddered, chest rattling one last time as he slumped down on Steve's shoulders, going still in Steve's arms.
~El Fin~
Author: Cassie Morgan badfalcon
Fandom: ITBN
Categories: Christian Kane/Steve Carlson, Angst,
Rating: PG-13
Thanks to: You, for reading this. yanzadracan for the beta.
Disclaimer: Christian Kane and Steve Carlson are real people, and the events in this story are just that - fictional, figments of my sick and twisted imagination. Hell, call it a fantasy if it makes you feel better. Whatever. No rumours should be started in regards to any events in these works of fiction. This story is written purely for entertainment purposes and no money is being made out of it
Notes: Written for the kissbingo prompt Time: Last
Summary: Christian's accepted, over the last months, that he's dying and has come to terms with it. He knows exactly where he wants to be when he draws his final breath, he knows what his dying with will be and he knows what he wants the last thing he sees to be. All three of them are the same thing: Steve.
"Steve?" Christian whispered, his voice husky with sleep. He licked his lips and squeezed Steve's hand; smiling when Steve leaned over and kissing him softly on the lips.
"Hey," Steve whispered in return, running his thumb over Christian's cheek. "Sleep well?"
"Yeah." Christian stretched then rolled onto his side to face Steve. "You do something for me?"
Steve nodded. "Anything," he promised, pulling Christian closer and frowning when he pulled back. "Chris?"
"Tell..." Christian swallowed and licked his lips again, coughing roughly, his chest rattling with the force.
"You want some water?" Steve offered and sat up
"I'll have a beer," Christian replied deadpan, his eyes sparkling with mischief despite the drugs pumping around his system. He smiled at Steve's snort of disbelief, laughter bubbling out of him unexpectedly. He coughed then winced, face paling and lined with pain but was determined to carry on teasing Steve, desperate to see him smile, to hear him laugh. "Too early for a beer? Does it even matter how early it is when all I do is sleep?" He paused and met Steve's eyes, letting Steve's smile - no matter how weak - wash over him. "You're not gonna deny a dy..."
"Don’t'..." Steve winced and shook his head, pressing one finger over Christian's lips. "Chris..." He exhaled shakily, a tense silence settling between them before Steve swallowed audibly. "If you waste your dying wish on a beer Kane," he said, his voice high and shaky, "I will kill you myself." He looked back up at Christian, his eyes wet with tears.
Christian's lips quirked upwards and he brushed his lips over Steve's. "Guess a water will do then. Thank you"
Steve nodded and swung out of bed. "I'll be right back." He padded out of the bedroom, quickly making his way to the kitchen and running the tap, pouring a glass of water for Christian. By the time he returned to the bedroom, Christian was asleep. Steve placed the glass on the bedside table then slid in next to Christian, pulling him into his arms and pressing a kiss to his temple. He frowned at Christian's laboured breathing and his heart dropped. He pressed his lips together in a thin white line, blinking rapidly as he tried not to cry.
"You bring me that beer?" Christian asked softly, brushing Steve's tears away with his fingers.
Steve scrubbed a hand over his face and choked out a short laugh. "Yeah." He grabbed the glass and helped Christian sit up, holding him against his chest as he drank.
"Better?" He asked at Christian's satisfied sigh.
"Yeah," Christian nodded and curled against Steve, his head resting on Steve's shoulder as his eyelids slid closed again.
"Go back to sleep, Chris," Steve suggested, wrapping his arms around Christian.
"If I wanted to sleep," Christian protested, "I would have stayed in the hospital. Came home cos I wanted to be with you. Gonna have plenty of time to sleep soon enough."
Steve's breath caught in his throat and his arms tightened around Christian. "Chris..."
"That anything you promised me you'd do? I... Steve, tell my Momma I love her."
"No." Steve’s voice cracked and he shook his head. ""You want to tell your Mom you love her, you can tell her yourself. Your parents are on the plane, they're gonna be landing in a couple of hours so you can damn well tell her you love her - and explain to her why you didn't tell her you were sick yourself, damnit Christian."
Christian squeezed his eyes shut, trying - and failing - to stop his tears from overflowing. He ran his fingers down the side of Steve's face. "I don't think I have a couple hours," he admitted quietly. He winced as Steve's arms tightened around him.
"No. No, don't... don't say that. Chris, please..." Tears streamed unchecked down Steve’s face
"Don't cry darlin'," Christian begged, reaching up and wiping Steve's tears away with his finger tips, pressing a dry, soft kiss to each cheek. "I don't... Wanna see you smile."
Steve forced a smile, rolling slightly to face Christian, resting their foreheads together. "Smile?" he asked, incredulously.
"I love your smile," Christian whispered, his fingers tracing Steve's lips. He smiled as Steve kissed his fingertips. "We knew this was gonna happen," he reminded Steve, another coughing fit leaving him gasping, drops of sweat beading on his forehead.
"Doesn't mean I like it. I don't want you to die."
"I don't wanna die," Christian admitted, more tears falling. "I... hold me?" Steve nodded, pulling Christian against his chest; Christian sighing as he relaxed against him.
"Promise me something?"
"Anything."
"Keep going... After I die," Christian clarified. "The songs you've written this yea - I want you to record and release them. I want you to keep writin’ and playin’... y'hear me Steve? I want you to keep bein you. Can you do that for me, darlin'?"
Steve nodded wordlessly, not trusting his voice. His shoulders shook with the force of his tears. "Chris..."
"Promise me. Please."
"I promise."
Christian sighed and nodded. "Thank you." He twisted to face Steve and wiped his tears away again, before wiping his own. He cupped Steve's face in his shaking hands, thumbs stroking his cheekbones. "I love you, Steve," he whispered,
Christian kissed Steve gently on the lips. He shuddered, chest rattling one last time as he slumped down on Steve's shoulders, going still in Steve's arms.
~El Fin~