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A little birdy linked me to a mother of a mary-sue badfic. It's posted on a Libertines message board but it seems like the author has worked in every hep rocker band out there today.
To start things off, the main character is a girl named Caitlin. Guess the username of the author.
Yup, Caitlin!
If I tried a coherent summary of this fic, I'd fail so I'm just going to paste some of the choice bits.
http://goodshipalbion.proboards28.com/index.cgi?board=stories&num=1098866931&action=display&start=0
We start off by meetin Caitlin and her band. I bet you can guess where this fic is headed, huh?
Sofia was the noisiest and wildest one of the group. She was 21 and rearing to go. She was an accomplished pickpocket with distaste for cheap alcohol and policemen.
A pickpocket, eh?
Sofia fitted into that old saying ‘ sex, drugs, rock and roll’ like it was made especially for her. With her purple eyes (contacts. Maybe), jet-black hair and combination of retro clothes and Goth make up, she looked like a true rock goddess. Six string bass guitars were her instrument of choice, and she could play it better than anyone else she knew.
I love that. She wore purple contacts, maybe. What is it with sues and wild eye colors?
Then there was Chris. Blonde hair, blue eyes, absolutely gorgeous. As the lead guitarist of the band he aspired to Kurt Cobain. Generic clothes were his specialty, mixed with grungy torn jeans and of course, black all stars. His secret ambition was also to hunt down and kill blink-182. As The comedian of the group, he always broke up the stupid fights between the band with his naive touch of humor.
Naive touch of humor?
There was also Nicky, the youngest at 20. She played the drums better than Meg white could ever wish to, loved martinis, and was absolutely crazy. She has pretty green eyes, which remind Sofia of Harry potter, and light brown hair that is always stuck up in crazy styles, but always looks fabulous.
It's a crossover! We not only have rocker bands but Harry Potter. Rock out!
Meet CaitlinSue:
There was also Caitlin. The lead singer of the band. She wanted to be like Karen O in almost every way. She loved Karen’s wacky style and the way she gave her all every time she was on stage. She was the motherly one of the group, very proper and a ‘say-no-to-drugs’ kinda girl. She dressed for herself, and herself only, wearing ballerina style shoes and pretty skirts with pearls and funky tees.
And last, but definitely not least was Michael, the self-confessed ladies man, played rhythm guitar for the band. Music, films, books and video games were practically his life.
He was smart and witty, always saying the right thing at the right time, and never the other way round.
He strongly hated racism, sexism, homophobia and violence.
His scruffy look suited him, his shaggy brown hair looked great even first thing in the morning and the girls always tried to apply some eyeliner and mascara to his divine brown eyes. Nicky said it would be sexier. But he didn’t care. There was no way he was going to wear makeup.
No eyeliner? Boo!
Blah, blah, blah. Band mucks around for a bit. Then:
Her name was bonnie, and it turned out, she was going to give them a recording contract because she liked their music, and they were all approachable and stylish young adults.
Dreams really do come true!
“Well, what about the prospect of touring?”
“That’s great. But no body wants to see us at all.”
“Well, there is a vacant spot for a support band you guys could fill.”
“That sounds cool. So, um, who will we be supporting?”
“The white stripes.”
Hep band #1 has arrived on the scene.
Bobothy entered the room.
None of them had really seen her dressed up before, but as she stood in the doorway, they were astounded.
She looked like Karen o, if Karen o was a member of the strokes.
# 2, check.
Meg and jack were so happy that the band was all nice people.
I guess jack doesn't merit a J, huh?
Time for cred:
“So, what kinda music are you guys into?” Meg asked when they were all happily seated and drinking their alcohol.
“Bright eyes.”
“Interpol”
“Jeff Buckley”
“The vines”
“The strokes”
“The cure”
“The libertines”
“Yeah yeah yeahs”
“Nirvana”
“The ramones”
“Rolling stones”
“The hives”
“Radiohead”
Clothing descriptions! These are always great in sue-fics.
Nicky wore tight black flared pants with a blue studded Gucci belt, black all stars and a white boob tube with spider webs painted in black paint.
Caitlin wore a short white denim mini, white knee high socks over bright blue fishnets and a tight black ‘Emily strange’ shirt, and heaps of pearl bracelets.
Sofia threw on a short denim miniskirt, a black and white pinstriped button up shirt, purple stockings which were cut off far above her knee and white hi-tops.
Sofia packed on the Goth eye make up, but didn’t wear any lipstick and tied her hair up in a loose ponytail and tied it with a purple ribbon.
Nicky had her hair up in a ponytail, which resembled a water fountain high up on her head, and Caitlin, left her hair out, so the curls draped over her shoulders.
Band plays. Of course they rock the house but not everyone is happy.
Jack came out from the change room and glared out at the crowd.
“They are going crazy for the support band?” jack laughed as he pushed past Michael.
“We were fucking good!” Caitlin retorted, still with an adrenaline rush.
Jack turned to her and grinned.
“Sweetheart, you were shit. And now, I’m gonna go out and prove to those fuckers that I’m better.”
Caitlin took a step back.
What he said had hurt.
Real bad.
*tear*
Question time: Was Renee Zellwegger disliked by White Stripes fangirls?
A whiney girls voice came on this time.
“Jack, its me, you know who it is, well, you should anyway. Don’t tell me you’ve already forgotten my voice. My Louis vuitton purse is still at your place. Or did Meg steal it? Oh no, that’s right, its got no red or white on it. Does it? Just wanted to say that I still hate you. Ta, love Renee.”
Caitlin sat awkwardly at the table as jack glared into the distance.
“Stupid bitch.” he growled as he reached over and pulled the phone out of the wall.
“Did you break up?” Caitlin asked quietly.
Jack nodded and stood up from the table.
“She was a bossy bitch anyway.” he said as he grabbed a bottle of beer from the fridge, “want one?”
...
“Messy break up?” she asked.
Jack nodded and began to laugh.
“The bitch tore apart my house..and..sHe threw the other one of these,” he picked up the stuffed yellow canary, “and it broke. I had to throw it away. They were a pair, now there’s only one. It was so beautiful too. Real nice green feathers.”
Party!
It was a shock to walk in, because the room was filled with celebrities they all loved.
There was the guys from the vines, Karen o and nick zinner, Luke and Katy Steele, Connor oberst, Daniel Kessler, Pete Doherty and Carl barat, many more, and the strokes.
Caitlin took it that it was her cue to leave, so she put on a surge of braveness, linked her arm into Carls and led him into the next room saying, “You know, ive always loved those jackets you guys wear.”
Carl's quite taken with Caitlin.
Caitlin walked out to the balcony and stood with Carl.
He offered her the stub of his ciggie, but she refused politely, coughing and blowing the smoke from her face.
“I can’t believe you’re the hottest thing in rock at the moment.” Carl said kindly.
“Huh?” she asked.
“Well, you are a hip and new rock star, but you don’t smoke, you aren’t a slut, you dress appropriately and you are polite. I really don’t get it.”
“Oh, I dunno. Maybe coz I think you’re really interesting and id rather talk to you about useless shit than speak to a groupie about what size her bra is.” Carl said quietly.
She looked up at him, seeing as she was considerable shorter and smiled.
Gotta be shorter than those guys, remember that ladies. And Caitlin must be all of about 3 feet.
Jack has a an angst moment:
He walked to the door of fab’s apartment and went through to the corridor and into the elevator.
He pressed every single button in the elevator and it went all spazzed and stayed still.
The doors wouldn’t open and he was glad.
He needed some peace and quiet.
He sank down to the cold steel floor and began to hum ‘if you’re happy and you know it clap your hands.’
That's all for now. There's 2 more pages of this and she doesn't even finish the fic! I suggest you all go check it out for yourselves cause I'm sure there's lots of music stuff I'm missing.
To start things off, the main character is a girl named Caitlin. Guess the username of the author.
Yup, Caitlin!
If I tried a coherent summary of this fic, I'd fail so I'm just going to paste some of the choice bits.
http://goodshipalbion.proboards28.com/index.cgi?board=stories&num=1098866931&action=display&start=0
We start off by meetin Caitlin and her band. I bet you can guess where this fic is headed, huh?
Sofia was the noisiest and wildest one of the group. She was 21 and rearing to go. She was an accomplished pickpocket with distaste for cheap alcohol and policemen.
A pickpocket, eh?
Sofia fitted into that old saying ‘ sex, drugs, rock and roll’ like it was made especially for her. With her purple eyes (contacts. Maybe), jet-black hair and combination of retro clothes and Goth make up, she looked like a true rock goddess. Six string bass guitars were her instrument of choice, and she could play it better than anyone else she knew.
I love that. She wore purple contacts, maybe. What is it with sues and wild eye colors?
Then there was Chris. Blonde hair, blue eyes, absolutely gorgeous. As the lead guitarist of the band he aspired to Kurt Cobain. Generic clothes were his specialty, mixed with grungy torn jeans and of course, black all stars. His secret ambition was also to hunt down and kill blink-182. As The comedian of the group, he always broke up the stupid fights between the band with his naive touch of humor.
Naive touch of humor?
There was also Nicky, the youngest at 20. She played the drums better than Meg white could ever wish to, loved martinis, and was absolutely crazy. She has pretty green eyes, which remind Sofia of Harry potter, and light brown hair that is always stuck up in crazy styles, but always looks fabulous.
It's a crossover! We not only have rocker bands but Harry Potter. Rock out!
Meet CaitlinSue:
There was also Caitlin. The lead singer of the band. She wanted to be like Karen O in almost every way. She loved Karen’s wacky style and the way she gave her all every time she was on stage. She was the motherly one of the group, very proper and a ‘say-no-to-drugs’ kinda girl. She dressed for herself, and herself only, wearing ballerina style shoes and pretty skirts with pearls and funky tees.
And last, but definitely not least was Michael, the self-confessed ladies man, played rhythm guitar for the band. Music, films, books and video games were practically his life.
He was smart and witty, always saying the right thing at the right time, and never the other way round.
He strongly hated racism, sexism, homophobia and violence.
His scruffy look suited him, his shaggy brown hair looked great even first thing in the morning and the girls always tried to apply some eyeliner and mascara to his divine brown eyes. Nicky said it would be sexier. But he didn’t care. There was no way he was going to wear makeup.
No eyeliner? Boo!
Blah, blah, blah. Band mucks around for a bit. Then:
Her name was bonnie, and it turned out, she was going to give them a recording contract because she liked their music, and they were all approachable and stylish young adults.
Dreams really do come true!
“Well, what about the prospect of touring?”
“That’s great. But no body wants to see us at all.”
“Well, there is a vacant spot for a support band you guys could fill.”
“That sounds cool. So, um, who will we be supporting?”
“The white stripes.”
Hep band #1 has arrived on the scene.
Bobothy entered the room.
None of them had really seen her dressed up before, but as she stood in the doorway, they were astounded.
She looked like Karen o, if Karen o was a member of the strokes.
# 2, check.
Meg and jack were so happy that the band was all nice people.
I guess jack doesn't merit a J, huh?
Time for cred:
“So, what kinda music are you guys into?” Meg asked when they were all happily seated and drinking their alcohol.
“Bright eyes.”
“Interpol”
“Jeff Buckley”
“The vines”
“The strokes”
“The cure”
“The libertines”
“Yeah yeah yeahs”
“Nirvana”
“The ramones”
“Rolling stones”
“The hives”
“Radiohead”
Clothing descriptions! These are always great in sue-fics.
Nicky wore tight black flared pants with a blue studded Gucci belt, black all stars and a white boob tube with spider webs painted in black paint.
Caitlin wore a short white denim mini, white knee high socks over bright blue fishnets and a tight black ‘Emily strange’ shirt, and heaps of pearl bracelets.
Sofia threw on a short denim miniskirt, a black and white pinstriped button up shirt, purple stockings which were cut off far above her knee and white hi-tops.
Sofia packed on the Goth eye make up, but didn’t wear any lipstick and tied her hair up in a loose ponytail and tied it with a purple ribbon.
Nicky had her hair up in a ponytail, which resembled a water fountain high up on her head, and Caitlin, left her hair out, so the curls draped over her shoulders.
Band plays. Of course they rock the house but not everyone is happy.
Jack came out from the change room and glared out at the crowd.
“They are going crazy for the support band?” jack laughed as he pushed past Michael.
“We were fucking good!” Caitlin retorted, still with an adrenaline rush.
Jack turned to her and grinned.
“Sweetheart, you were shit. And now, I’m gonna go out and prove to those fuckers that I’m better.”
Caitlin took a step back.
What he said had hurt.
Real bad.
*tear*
Question time: Was Renee Zellwegger disliked by White Stripes fangirls?
A whiney girls voice came on this time.
“Jack, its me, you know who it is, well, you should anyway. Don’t tell me you’ve already forgotten my voice. My Louis vuitton purse is still at your place. Or did Meg steal it? Oh no, that’s right, its got no red or white on it. Does it? Just wanted to say that I still hate you. Ta, love Renee.”
Caitlin sat awkwardly at the table as jack glared into the distance.
“Stupid bitch.” he growled as he reached over and pulled the phone out of the wall.
“Did you break up?” Caitlin asked quietly.
Jack nodded and stood up from the table.
“She was a bossy bitch anyway.” he said as he grabbed a bottle of beer from the fridge, “want one?”
...
“Messy break up?” she asked.
Jack nodded and began to laugh.
“The bitch tore apart my house..and..sHe threw the other one of these,” he picked up the stuffed yellow canary, “and it broke. I had to throw it away. They were a pair, now there’s only one. It was so beautiful too. Real nice green feathers.”
Party!
It was a shock to walk in, because the room was filled with celebrities they all loved.
There was the guys from the vines, Karen o and nick zinner, Luke and Katy Steele, Connor oberst, Daniel Kessler, Pete Doherty and Carl barat, many more, and the strokes.
Caitlin took it that it was her cue to leave, so she put on a surge of braveness, linked her arm into Carls and led him into the next room saying, “You know, ive always loved those jackets you guys wear.”
Carl's quite taken with Caitlin.
Caitlin walked out to the balcony and stood with Carl.
He offered her the stub of his ciggie, but she refused politely, coughing and blowing the smoke from her face.
“I can’t believe you’re the hottest thing in rock at the moment.” Carl said kindly.
“Huh?” she asked.
“Well, you are a hip and new rock star, but you don’t smoke, you aren’t a slut, you dress appropriately and you are polite. I really don’t get it.”
“Oh, I dunno. Maybe coz I think you’re really interesting and id rather talk to you about useless shit than speak to a groupie about what size her bra is.” Carl said quietly.
She looked up at him, seeing as she was considerable shorter and smiled.
Gotta be shorter than those guys, remember that ladies. And Caitlin must be all of about 3 feet.
Jack has a an angst moment:
He walked to the door of fab’s apartment and went through to the corridor and into the elevator.
He pressed every single button in the elevator and it went all spazzed and stayed still.
The doors wouldn’t open and he was glad.
He needed some peace and quiet.
He sank down to the cold steel floor and began to hum ‘if you’re happy and you know it clap your hands.’
That's all for now. There's 2 more pages of this and she doesn't even finish the fic! I suggest you all go check it out for yourselves cause I'm sure there's lots of music stuff I'm missing.