The Death Gun
The summery to the imaginatively titled story "Death Note" is sporkeriffic enough:
A young child discovers a Death Note that belongs to Ryuk. Because she is too young, he only lets her write 3 names in exchange, he'll let her keep her memories and give her a special item called a Death gun. Before she knows it, Millie is going to an orphanage, due to the tragic murder of her parents. As she grows up, what will happen? Will she help or kill Kira?
A Death Gun?! Isn't that kind of redundant? And how the hell is it safer to leave a "young child" with a gun instead of a note book?
I have to admit, though, the Death Gun made me curious and I looked at the fic to see what it was supposed to be.
I know what you are thinking, but the death of her parents doesn't seem to have any connection to her newly acquired Death Gun.
"Death Note...?" She repeated the title that was written in white, on the cover of the note book.
"That's right. Be careful of who you choose to kill with it. How old are you?"
"5," she answered.
WTF?! She's 5 years old and can already read in English?! Maybe that story is set in an English speaking country, but still... If she's 5, she can't even write properly. The only reason I see that Ryuk wouldn't leave the Death Note with her is that he would be bored out of his fucking mind.
"Why aren't you scared of my appearance?"
The little girl didn't say anything. She simply smiled.
Because the author couldn't think of any reason, too.
"Since you're too young to barely read, I'll give you the basic rules of the Death Note. I know I'm not going to be here for long so I'm not going to waste my time explaining all of them.
Why would he bother explaining any of them?!
"3 names huh? I guess that sounds good to me if I get a Death gun out of it. Does that also come with rules?"
What 5 year old child talks like that?
Jessica Regunna dies at 9:37 A.M on November 18 1995. She picks up a sharp pencil and commits suicide by stabbing it through her forehead in front of everyone in the room.'
First, that should have resulted in a default heart attack, since no matter how sharp your pencil is, you won't be able to drive it through your forehead. Second, she is five! She can barely write, if at all. And then we're supposed to believe she writes a sentence like that? Without any spelling errors whatsoever? What kind of universe is this?!
She kills 2 other people, so Ryuk finally hands her the DEATH GUN!
"Here is your death gun that I promised." He handed her a bracelet.
"There's a button. Press it twice and it will turn into your death gun. When you want it back in a bracelet form, on the handle, there is the same small button. Press it once. On the grip of the gun, pull it down and a secret compartment will open up where you'll find the instructions folded in a small square. If anyone touches the gun or bracelet form, they will die unless you give them permission. You don't need real bullets to shoot people with, only hatred. That energy will be compressed and there are your bullets. Keep this out of other people's reach," Ryuk explained.
Yeah, this sounds much safer than the Death Note...
Just when Ryuk has left, her parents are conveniently murdered and she can use her cool new Death Gun on the murderer:
He started making his way towards her when, in panic, she pressed the button twice on her bracelet and just like that, folded open to an awesome Death gun with an engraving, in red, that said "Bad Ass."
The engraving kinda reminds me of "The Adventures of Dark Yagami". Only that fic is a thousand times more awesome.
She pressed the trigger and shot the criminal with her own compressed, bad emotion bullets. Pure red and black hatred that shot out of the gun and pieced directly into his heart. Seconds later, he fell to the ground and bled out.
Why the hatred has to form bullets to kill is beyond me, but anyway, I have no idea how all of them directly "piece" his heart. Apparently, the Death Gun also has a homing feature.
She pressed the button on the gun and it returned back into a bracelet.
"Wha- What have I done!?" She screamed with tears streaming down her face as she made her way to the bodies.
You are asking yourself that NOW? After killing the murderer of your parents? Not after killing, say, the innocent girl you just didn't like in kindergarten?
The next thing she knew, she was in the back of a police car, going to an orphanage that specializes in detective work for kids to become famous detectives like a mysterious character named L
Yeah, of course you are.
She goes on to meet Near and Mello. I couldn't bring myself to read past the first chapter - to my shock this thing has 34 chapters! You can find the whole thing here: Death Note.
I am going to sit on my bed now and think of things that would have made more sense than the Death Gun.
Cheers!
A young child discovers a Death Note that belongs to Ryuk. Because she is too young, he only lets her write 3 names in exchange, he'll let her keep her memories and give her a special item called a Death gun. Before she knows it, Millie is going to an orphanage, due to the tragic murder of her parents. As she grows up, what will happen? Will she help or kill Kira?
A Death Gun?! Isn't that kind of redundant? And how the hell is it safer to leave a "young child" with a gun instead of a note book?
I have to admit, though, the Death Gun made me curious and I looked at the fic to see what it was supposed to be.
I know what you are thinking, but the death of her parents doesn't seem to have any connection to her newly acquired Death Gun.
"Death Note...?" She repeated the title that was written in white, on the cover of the note book.
"That's right. Be careful of who you choose to kill with it. How old are you?"
"5," she answered.
WTF?! She's 5 years old and can already read in English?! Maybe that story is set in an English speaking country, but still... If she's 5, she can't even write properly. The only reason I see that Ryuk wouldn't leave the Death Note with her is that he would be bored out of his fucking mind.
"Why aren't you scared of my appearance?"
The little girl didn't say anything. She simply smiled.
Because the author couldn't think of any reason, too.
"Since you're too young to barely read, I'll give you the basic rules of the Death Note. I know I'm not going to be here for long so I'm not going to waste my time explaining all of them.
Why would he bother explaining any of them?!
"3 names huh? I guess that sounds good to me if I get a Death gun out of it. Does that also come with rules?"
What 5 year old child talks like that?
Jessica Regunna dies at 9:37 A.M on November 18 1995. She picks up a sharp pencil and commits suicide by stabbing it through her forehead in front of everyone in the room.'
First, that should have resulted in a default heart attack, since no matter how sharp your pencil is, you won't be able to drive it through your forehead. Second, she is five! She can barely write, if at all. And then we're supposed to believe she writes a sentence like that? Without any spelling errors whatsoever? What kind of universe is this?!
She kills 2 other people, so Ryuk finally hands her the DEATH GUN!
"Here is your death gun that I promised." He handed her a bracelet.
"There's a button. Press it twice and it will turn into your death gun. When you want it back in a bracelet form, on the handle, there is the same small button. Press it once. On the grip of the gun, pull it down and a secret compartment will open up where you'll find the instructions folded in a small square. If anyone touches the gun or bracelet form, they will die unless you give them permission. You don't need real bullets to shoot people with, only hatred. That energy will be compressed and there are your bullets. Keep this out of other people's reach," Ryuk explained.
Yeah, this sounds much safer than the Death Note...
Just when Ryuk has left, her parents are conveniently murdered and she can use her cool new Death Gun on the murderer:
He started making his way towards her when, in panic, she pressed the button twice on her bracelet and just like that, folded open to an awesome Death gun with an engraving, in red, that said "Bad Ass."
The engraving kinda reminds me of "The Adventures of Dark Yagami". Only that fic is a thousand times more awesome.
She pressed the trigger and shot the criminal with her own compressed, bad emotion bullets. Pure red and black hatred that shot out of the gun and pieced directly into his heart. Seconds later, he fell to the ground and bled out.
Why the hatred has to form bullets to kill is beyond me, but anyway, I have no idea how all of them directly "piece" his heart. Apparently, the Death Gun also has a homing feature.
She pressed the button on the gun and it returned back into a bracelet.
"Wha- What have I done!?" She screamed with tears streaming down her face as she made her way to the bodies.
You are asking yourself that NOW? After killing the murderer of your parents? Not after killing, say, the innocent girl you just didn't like in kindergarten?
The next thing she knew, she was in the back of a police car, going to an orphanage that specializes in detective work for kids to become famous detectives like a mysterious character named L
Yeah, of course you are.
She goes on to meet Near and Mello. I couldn't bring myself to read past the first chapter - to my shock this thing has 34 chapters! You can find the whole thing here: Death Note.
I am going to sit on my bed now and think of things that would have made more sense than the Death Gun.
Cheers!