A Gaggle of Beautiful Badfic Quotes
Got a buttload of quotes from my favorite fandoms.
Digimon
Then Myotismon then said," I think that's enough damage for one day, ciao!..."
Myotismon has just killed the local Mary Sue and the DigiDestined kids are all mourning her. So what's a villain to do? He just gets up and leaves. His enemies are literally sitting ducks and he just leaves.
This line always makes me smile whenever I read it and never gets old, even without context. A classic.
He smiled, before pulling off his plaid shirt. Don't worry, he had a white t-shirt underneath.
You don't need context. This is just snicker-worthy on its own.
Mimi's eyes widened as she watched the older man grab Izzy's neck viciously as the man grabbed a rifle from his pocket and held it threateningly against the younger boy's head. " This is your last chance…"
This man has just pulled a full-sized rifle out of his pocket. You're welcome, Internet.
Kingdom Hearts
this is a sentence that makes no sense for you enjoyment.
Part of the Author's Notes in a horrible OOC-fest where someone complained about the OOC. She posted a huge rant in response and this is the best sentence in it.
"Stop calling Lexaeus my mom, it just creepy. I mean he's like almost 7 foot and hell of buff!"
*snerk*
Pokemon
“You like what you see, Hugh? Come get it, come get your birthday gift. That’s right; you’re getting an ass as your birthday present. Who needs a Wii U when you’ve got an ass?”
This was a crack fic but this line remains a jewel.
And let's end with a Pokemon battle. Note that the following content is work safe, but the fic itself is NSFW. Also, there is a lot of Pokenerdery ahead.
"Let's get started, shall we?"
"Okay," Rosa said, moving away from Elesa to get their battle started. "Go, Emboar!" Rosa said, releasing an Emboar holding a Quick Claw.
Okay, that's plausible for this point in the game if you've level-grinded.
"Go, Zapdos!" Elesa said, releasing a shiny Zapdos.
But this. This is not. It takes five seconds to Google Elesa's team, failthor. (Which, BTW, is an Emolga, a Flaaffy and a Zebstrika.) Don't give her a legendary, and a shiny legendary to boot! There's only a 1 in 8000 chance of ANY Pokemon to be shiny! I just- urgh!
"Thunderbolt, Zapdos!"
"Flare Blitz!"
Doing as told, the Emboar ignited himself, then he rushed towards Zapdos to tackle it. The Fire-type move instantly knocked Zapdos, but it costed a bit of Emboar's health.
This battle is so engaging. And by engaging, I mean boring.
"Impressive, I say. Go, Raikou!" Elesa said, and she released Raikou. "Thunderbolt!"
How many legendaries does this chick have?
"Flare Blitz, again!"
The Emboar's Quick Claw didn't activate this time as Raikou attacked first with Thunderbolt, easily blacking Emboar out. "Go, Haxorus!" Rosa said, releasing Haxorus. "Outrage!"
HOW THE HELL DID YOU GET A HAXORUS?! It's not available at this point, and it wouldn't listen to you if you'd traded it at this point in the game!
"Hidden Power (Ice), Raikou!"
Why is the type of Hidden Power in parentheses? I just picture it being whispered for some reason.
Hidden Power! *whispers* Ice...
The Raikou's Hidden Power wasn't enough to knock Haxorus out as Haxorus retaliated with Outrage, knocking Raikou out as Elesa stomped her foot.
"Damn," Elesa cursed.
Wow, I know battles in the game can be all OHKOs but this is ridiculous.
"Almost out of Pokemon?" Rosa asked.
"Yep, let's see what happens next!" Elesa replied.
After releasing her last Pokemon, a Magnezone holding a Life Orb, Elesa yelled, "Hidden Power (Ice)!"
Why do two of her Pokemon have the same exact type of Hidden Power?
Rosa didn't order her Haxorus to use a move since Outrage forces Haxorus to use it again. After getting hit, the Magnezone used Hidden Power to knock Haxorus out.
"I'm almost out too," Rosa said.
"Then let's finish this," Elesa said.
"Okay. Go, Sigilyph!" Rosa said, and she entered a shiny Sigilyph in battle.
*pterodactyl screech* THIS IS THE SECOND SHINY IN THIS BATTLE, I CAN'T EVEN!
"Use Heat Wave, Sigilyph!"
"Avoid Heat Wave, then use Thunderbolt!"
Failing to avoid the Sigilyph's Heat Wave, the Magnezone blacked out and Rosa jumped up and down in joy, celebrating over a win against a Gym Leader.
"I did it, I did it!" Rosa exclaimed.
*sings* We did it, we did it, we did it, hooray...
Oh and this guy is notorious for writing Pokemon battles like this. He gives all the characters random shinies and legendaries for no reason, rather than Googling their actual teams. Oh, and he also shoves these "battles" in between poorly written lemons. He has countless fics like this. I just...I can't.
Digimon
Then Myotismon then said," I think that's enough damage for one day, ciao!..."
Myotismon has just killed the local Mary Sue and the DigiDestined kids are all mourning her. So what's a villain to do? He just gets up and leaves. His enemies are literally sitting ducks and he just leaves.
This line always makes me smile whenever I read it and never gets old, even without context. A classic.
He smiled, before pulling off his plaid shirt. Don't worry, he had a white t-shirt underneath.
You don't need context. This is just snicker-worthy on its own.
Mimi's eyes widened as she watched the older man grab Izzy's neck viciously as the man grabbed a rifle from his pocket and held it threateningly against the younger boy's head. " This is your last chance…"
This man has just pulled a full-sized rifle out of his pocket. You're welcome, Internet.
Kingdom Hearts
this is a sentence that makes no sense for you enjoyment.
Part of the Author's Notes in a horrible OOC-fest where someone complained about the OOC. She posted a huge rant in response and this is the best sentence in it.
"Stop calling Lexaeus my mom, it just creepy. I mean he's like almost 7 foot and hell of buff!"
*snerk*
Pokemon
“You like what you see, Hugh? Come get it, come get your birthday gift. That’s right; you’re getting an ass as your birthday present. Who needs a Wii U when you’ve got an ass?”
This was a crack fic but this line remains a jewel.
And let's end with a Pokemon battle. Note that the following content is work safe, but the fic itself is NSFW. Also, there is a lot of Pokenerdery ahead.
"Let's get started, shall we?"
"Okay," Rosa said, moving away from Elesa to get their battle started. "Go, Emboar!" Rosa said, releasing an Emboar holding a Quick Claw.
Okay, that's plausible for this point in the game if you've level-grinded.
"Go, Zapdos!" Elesa said, releasing a shiny Zapdos.
But this. This is not. It takes five seconds to Google Elesa's team, failthor. (Which, BTW, is an Emolga, a Flaaffy and a Zebstrika.) Don't give her a legendary, and a shiny legendary to boot! There's only a 1 in 8000 chance of ANY Pokemon to be shiny! I just- urgh!
"Thunderbolt, Zapdos!"
"Flare Blitz!"
Doing as told, the Emboar ignited himself, then he rushed towards Zapdos to tackle it. The Fire-type move instantly knocked Zapdos, but it costed a bit of Emboar's health.
This battle is so engaging. And by engaging, I mean boring.
"Impressive, I say. Go, Raikou!" Elesa said, and she released Raikou. "Thunderbolt!"
How many legendaries does this chick have?
"Flare Blitz, again!"
The Emboar's Quick Claw didn't activate this time as Raikou attacked first with Thunderbolt, easily blacking Emboar out. "Go, Haxorus!" Rosa said, releasing Haxorus. "Outrage!"
HOW THE HELL DID YOU GET A HAXORUS?! It's not available at this point, and it wouldn't listen to you if you'd traded it at this point in the game!
"Hidden Power (Ice), Raikou!"
Why is the type of Hidden Power in parentheses? I just picture it being whispered for some reason.
Hidden Power! *whispers* Ice...
The Raikou's Hidden Power wasn't enough to knock Haxorus out as Haxorus retaliated with Outrage, knocking Raikou out as Elesa stomped her foot.
"Damn," Elesa cursed.
Wow, I know battles in the game can be all OHKOs but this is ridiculous.
"Almost out of Pokemon?" Rosa asked.
"Yep, let's see what happens next!" Elesa replied.
After releasing her last Pokemon, a Magnezone holding a Life Orb, Elesa yelled, "Hidden Power (Ice)!"
Why do two of her Pokemon have the same exact type of Hidden Power?
Rosa didn't order her Haxorus to use a move since Outrage forces Haxorus to use it again. After getting hit, the Magnezone used Hidden Power to knock Haxorus out.
"I'm almost out too," Rosa said.
"Then let's finish this," Elesa said.
"Okay. Go, Sigilyph!" Rosa said, and she entered a shiny Sigilyph in battle.
*pterodactyl screech* THIS IS THE SECOND SHINY IN THIS BATTLE, I CAN'T EVEN!
"Use Heat Wave, Sigilyph!"
"Avoid Heat Wave, then use Thunderbolt!"
Failing to avoid the Sigilyph's Heat Wave, the Magnezone blacked out and Rosa jumped up and down in joy, celebrating over a win against a Gym Leader.
"I did it, I did it!" Rosa exclaimed.
*sings* We did it, we did it, we did it, hooray...
Oh and this guy is notorious for writing Pokemon battles like this. He gives all the characters random shinies and legendaries for no reason, rather than Googling their actual teams. Oh, and he also shoves these "battles" in between poorly written lemons. He has countless fics like this. I just...I can't.