death note fandom makes me laughcry on a regular basis
okay, so, death note. death note, death note, death note. I wish I knew how to quit you.
But I don't, so here are some quotes from various fics by my favorite badfic author, some of which have porn and refs to self-harm:
* Standing there, staring down at the lone grave stone, Raito hides his face from everyone. They will never see his distress like that night. It hurts deep within to lose L. He never thought it would be this way. He was sure his plan was great, but he never expected to fall in love. For the first time, he had someone who understood him and now it is gone. There is no one else who could compare to the older man and damn does it hurt him deeply.
The characterization on this is like someone walking down the street with an ice cream cone on a beautiful summer day with birds singing all around and then suddenly falling into a manhole.
* I could not resist the smirk that adorned my face. She said I held no power and that was a complete lie. I controlled every police department in the world. Before she stepped forward to try to get Raito, I coldly responded, “I am afraid you are very mistaken. I am L and I can do what the hell I want to.”
RESPECT MAH AUTHORITAH.
* The day he was released, he showed me his shinigima, Ryuk. I was frighten that Kira would returned.
I, also, was frighten that Kira would returned. Then I gotten use to the idea.
* Large black wings flew out of Ryuk and he waved his claw hand at us while he flew up to the skies to go to his own world. I was glad it was all over. For the first time in my life, I was truly happy. By one look at Raito, he was also happy. We moved on from being just Kira and L. We became Raito and Lawliet. It was beautiful.
Yep.
* Meanwhile, across the city, a young man walks the streets, letting the wind glide over his tan skin. He enjoys the peace and quiet. It helps him think of his plans and what he must do. But something within him cries out for a savior. Stopping in his tracks, Raito growls out lowly and dangerously, “I do not need a damn savior. I am the savior and god.” Before the dark shinigami can make a comment, he falls to his knees harshly, feeling pain run through every vein in his body. No one is around to hear his cries or to see his greatest weakness; tears flowing down his face. His arms wrap around his shaking body while red slash chocolate orbs glare at the world around him. Hatred like never before surfaces and rushes through every fiber of his body, he sneers and growls to the rotten world that took everything from him. Bowing his head like in prayer, he mouths out one word; no one will ever know the spoken word was.
red slash chocolate orbs red slash chocolate orbs red slash chocolate orbs
* When he gets up to Raito’s red cock, his lips become dry and he licks them. A juicy treat is right before his eyes and he leans forward to taste the new treat.
First I think of red rocket, then I think of popsicles, then I never eat cherry popsicles ever again.
* As he watches tears flow down the perfect face, Ryuk wants to help the one who gave him entertainment for almost four years. Even after Raito ran, the boy still gave him the best time ever.
this might sound like it came from a Ryuk/Light fic but unfortunately that is not the case.
* As the kiss is broken, he asks while caress the pale face in front of him, “Am I not allowed believing in a lie?”
No. No you are not.
* In quick movements, Yagami stands up and pulls up Raito’s sleeve to see some cut marks over them. Looking at his son with concern, he asks, “How long?”
Pulling his arm away from his father, Raito pulls the sleeves down again. He already feels the shame for doing such a stupid thing, but it was the only thing he could think of that didn’t involve drugs or booze. When he notices the firm look in his father’s eyes, he answers without thinking, “A week and I haven’t done it for a couple of days.”
Light Yagami cuts himself to feel. Let me repeat that: Light Yagami cuts himself to feel.
* “If you ever say a therapist, I’ll leave.” Raito threatens.
Smacking his son across the face, Yagami retorts firmly, “Do not ever threaten me like that again. I am your father, you will show me respect.”
Domestic abuse is par for the course in the yagami household
* Touching his face and feeling blood drip from his lip, Raito stares at his father in shock. How could his father smack him like that? This is the reason he hid from everyone who was near him. They would never understand what he is going though and telling them would end his life.
opinions: I tried so hard and got so far, but in the end, it doesn't even matter! or Crawling in my skin, these wounds they will not heal! or Parents just don't understand!
* “He just called and informed me that Yagami-kun has been cutting himself.”
Those words make him fear for the younger man. He wants to help the other. He needs Raito in his life. That isn’t right. He wants the teenager in his life. As he stuffs his hands into his pockets, L retorts, “I’ll talk to him.”
the entire concept of this still makes my brain explode
* “So am I. You would watch me with half-lid eyes, taking more pleasure in it.”
“YES! L! NGG!”
“Raitooooo.” L moans out as he releases. Closing his eyes in bliss, he whispers breathless, “I miss you.” Silence greets him but he knows the other is still on the line. He can hear Raito’s harbor breathing.
After a few minutes of silence, Raito mumbles, “I… I… wa… can’t do this.”
Not opening his eyes to find himself alone, L replies, “I know.” It hurts but he refuses to show that in his voice. The teenager can never be with him. It is far too dangerous and it would hurt the other worse.
“I’m sorry.”
“Why be sorry?”
“Because of being…”
“I do not need an apologize for that.” L cuts off the other.
if I were in bed with someone whose breathing sounded like foghorns and seals, I would probably kick them out.
* Pleased with himself, Raito continues to bob his head up and down, sucking on L’s length, enjoying the sounds L makes in the heat of passion. When his head is torn away from a juicy treat, he whimpers. One look at L, he knows why he was stopped.
revenge of the juicy treat
* ‘You will.’ L thinks but doesn’t say it aloud. When Raito’s head leans on his shoulder, he runs his fingers through light brown hair. This is what he desires and wants the most. Pulling back, he stares into Raito’s eyes, seeing the desire in them. Caressing Raito’s face, he mutters, “One day when I have to be gone for who knows when, you will want something more. Something I will never be able to give to you.” He wants the other man to understand what risks are involved. He can never stop being L the detective even if the man L wants to live a peaceful life. Detective work is all he knows.
in this au L is a 50 year old man and Light is his 14 year old illicit schoolgirl lover. Psych! it's not age-changed at all.
* Kissing Raito’s head, inhaling Raito’s scent, L holds onto the other, knowing that their time is short. Releasing his hold, seeing the confusion on Raito’s face, he explains, “My flight leaves in an hour. I have to go solve a case.”
“I could go…”
L states, cutting the younger man off, “Finish school, Raito. After that, we can see where it takes us.”
From the same fic. I don't know whether this feels more like creepy incest or creepy get-in-the-kitchen-and-bake-me-a pie.
* Raito (Light),
I know Raito must feel hurt right now. I am truly sorry but this is how it will be. Even if the man behind the L title wishes to stay, the detective L must continue his work. Solving cases is all I have every known and I cannot break that habit for no one. If Raito is willing to stay behind for periods of time, then this can work between us. I would understand if Raito does not wish for that type of relationship. Watari is still around and will relay any message if Raito has any.
Truly yours,
L Lawliet
PS. That name is mine; keep it close to your heart.
Dear Lawliet,
I can't bear being trapped in this fanfic any longer. That's why I've been cuttign myself. goodbye, cruel world!
yours,
Light (not Raito)
* Shaking his head sadly, L proclaims, “If you go after Kira, there will not be an us again.” Matsuda looks between them while Mogi keeps his head down looking busy. Aizawa stares stun at him. He knows their relationship is over and it hurts. It hurts worse than any heart attack.
actually not really sure why Aizawa cares so much, because L is talking to Light here. yeeeah.
* Hisao yells, “I DON’T WANT TO HEAR YOUR APOLOGIZES! I WANT TO SEE YOU DEAD!”
you can tell he's yelling extra loud because of the capslock!
* Outside the warehouse, L waves at the others to get ready. He has to stop his lover from doing something horrible. His heart feels pain for some reason. When he hears a gun shot, he freezes and yells, “A gun has been fired! Go inside now!” Did Raito fire the gun or did someone else did? Who is harmed? Is it Raito that got hurt? If Raito got hurt or worse, he doesn’t know what he would do. His heart beats faster as the task force run into the warehouse. Without thinking twice, he walks into the warehouse to see blood over Raito.
♪♫But some stupid with a handgun
shot my man in the head
Blooooooood over Raito, fire in the sky!♫♪
But I don't, so here are some quotes from various fics by my favorite badfic author, some of which have porn and refs to self-harm:
* Standing there, staring down at the lone grave stone, Raito hides his face from everyone. They will never see his distress like that night. It hurts deep within to lose L. He never thought it would be this way. He was sure his plan was great, but he never expected to fall in love. For the first time, he had someone who understood him and now it is gone. There is no one else who could compare to the older man and damn does it hurt him deeply.
The characterization on this is like someone walking down the street with an ice cream cone on a beautiful summer day with birds singing all around and then suddenly falling into a manhole.
* I could not resist the smirk that adorned my face. She said I held no power and that was a complete lie. I controlled every police department in the world. Before she stepped forward to try to get Raito, I coldly responded, “I am afraid you are very mistaken. I am L and I can do what the hell I want to.”
RESPECT MAH AUTHORITAH.
* The day he was released, he showed me his shinigima, Ryuk. I was frighten that Kira would returned.
I, also, was frighten that Kira would returned. Then I gotten use to the idea.
* Large black wings flew out of Ryuk and he waved his claw hand at us while he flew up to the skies to go to his own world. I was glad it was all over. For the first time in my life, I was truly happy. By one look at Raito, he was also happy. We moved on from being just Kira and L. We became Raito and Lawliet. It was beautiful.
Yep.
* Meanwhile, across the city, a young man walks the streets, letting the wind glide over his tan skin. He enjoys the peace and quiet. It helps him think of his plans and what he must do. But something within him cries out for a savior. Stopping in his tracks, Raito growls out lowly and dangerously, “I do not need a damn savior. I am the savior and god.” Before the dark shinigami can make a comment, he falls to his knees harshly, feeling pain run through every vein in his body. No one is around to hear his cries or to see his greatest weakness; tears flowing down his face. His arms wrap around his shaking body while red slash chocolate orbs glare at the world around him. Hatred like never before surfaces and rushes through every fiber of his body, he sneers and growls to the rotten world that took everything from him. Bowing his head like in prayer, he mouths out one word; no one will ever know the spoken word was.
red slash chocolate orbs red slash chocolate orbs red slash chocolate orbs
* When he gets up to Raito’s red cock, his lips become dry and he licks them. A juicy treat is right before his eyes and he leans forward to taste the new treat.
First I think of red rocket, then I think of popsicles, then I never eat cherry popsicles ever again.
* As he watches tears flow down the perfect face, Ryuk wants to help the one who gave him entertainment for almost four years. Even after Raito ran, the boy still gave him the best time ever.
this might sound like it came from a Ryuk/Light fic but unfortunately that is not the case.
* As the kiss is broken, he asks while caress the pale face in front of him, “Am I not allowed believing in a lie?”
No. No you are not.
* In quick movements, Yagami stands up and pulls up Raito’s sleeve to see some cut marks over them. Looking at his son with concern, he asks, “How long?”
Pulling his arm away from his father, Raito pulls the sleeves down again. He already feels the shame for doing such a stupid thing, but it was the only thing he could think of that didn’t involve drugs or booze. When he notices the firm look in his father’s eyes, he answers without thinking, “A week and I haven’t done it for a couple of days.”
Light Yagami cuts himself to feel. Let me repeat that: Light Yagami cuts himself to feel.
* “If you ever say a therapist, I’ll leave.” Raito threatens.
Smacking his son across the face, Yagami retorts firmly, “Do not ever threaten me like that again. I am your father, you will show me respect.”
Domestic abuse is par for the course in the yagami household
* Touching his face and feeling blood drip from his lip, Raito stares at his father in shock. How could his father smack him like that? This is the reason he hid from everyone who was near him. They would never understand what he is going though and telling them would end his life.
opinions: I tried so hard and got so far, but in the end, it doesn't even matter! or Crawling in my skin, these wounds they will not heal! or Parents just don't understand!
* “He just called and informed me that Yagami-kun has been cutting himself.”
Those words make him fear for the younger man. He wants to help the other. He needs Raito in his life. That isn’t right. He wants the teenager in his life. As he stuffs his hands into his pockets, L retorts, “I’ll talk to him.”
the entire concept of this still makes my brain explode
* “So am I. You would watch me with half-lid eyes, taking more pleasure in it.”
“YES! L! NGG!”
“Raitooooo.” L moans out as he releases. Closing his eyes in bliss, he whispers breathless, “I miss you.” Silence greets him but he knows the other is still on the line. He can hear Raito’s harbor breathing.
After a few minutes of silence, Raito mumbles, “I… I… wa… can’t do this.”
Not opening his eyes to find himself alone, L replies, “I know.” It hurts but he refuses to show that in his voice. The teenager can never be with him. It is far too dangerous and it would hurt the other worse.
“I’m sorry.”
“Why be sorry?”
“Because of being…”
“I do not need an apologize for that.” L cuts off the other.
if I were in bed with someone whose breathing sounded like foghorns and seals, I would probably kick them out.
* Pleased with himself, Raito continues to bob his head up and down, sucking on L’s length, enjoying the sounds L makes in the heat of passion. When his head is torn away from a juicy treat, he whimpers. One look at L, he knows why he was stopped.
revenge of the juicy treat
* ‘You will.’ L thinks but doesn’t say it aloud. When Raito’s head leans on his shoulder, he runs his fingers through light brown hair. This is what he desires and wants the most. Pulling back, he stares into Raito’s eyes, seeing the desire in them. Caressing Raito’s face, he mutters, “One day when I have to be gone for who knows when, you will want something more. Something I will never be able to give to you.” He wants the other man to understand what risks are involved. He can never stop being L the detective even if the man L wants to live a peaceful life. Detective work is all he knows.
in this au L is a 50 year old man and Light is his 14 year old illicit schoolgirl lover. Psych! it's not age-changed at all.
* Kissing Raito’s head, inhaling Raito’s scent, L holds onto the other, knowing that their time is short. Releasing his hold, seeing the confusion on Raito’s face, he explains, “My flight leaves in an hour. I have to go solve a case.”
“I could go…”
L states, cutting the younger man off, “Finish school, Raito. After that, we can see where it takes us.”
From the same fic. I don't know whether this feels more like creepy incest or creepy get-in-the-kitchen-and-bake-me-a pie.
* Raito (Light),
I know Raito must feel hurt right now. I am truly sorry but this is how it will be. Even if the man behind the L title wishes to stay, the detective L must continue his work. Solving cases is all I have every known and I cannot break that habit for no one. If Raito is willing to stay behind for periods of time, then this can work between us. I would understand if Raito does not wish for that type of relationship. Watari is still around and will relay any message if Raito has any.
Truly yours,
L Lawliet
PS. That name is mine; keep it close to your heart.
Dear Lawliet,
I can't bear being trapped in this fanfic any longer. That's why I've been cuttign myself. goodbye, cruel world!
yours,
Light (not Raito)
* Shaking his head sadly, L proclaims, “If you go after Kira, there will not be an us again.” Matsuda looks between them while Mogi keeps his head down looking busy. Aizawa stares stun at him. He knows their relationship is over and it hurts. It hurts worse than any heart attack.
actually not really sure why Aizawa cares so much, because L is talking to Light here. yeeeah.
* Hisao yells, “I DON’T WANT TO HEAR YOUR APOLOGIZES! I WANT TO SEE YOU DEAD!”
you can tell he's yelling extra loud because of the capslock!
* Outside the warehouse, L waves at the others to get ready. He has to stop his lover from doing something horrible. His heart feels pain for some reason. When he hears a gun shot, he freezes and yells, “A gun has been fired! Go inside now!” Did Raito fire the gun or did someone else did? Who is harmed? Is it Raito that got hurt? If Raito got hurt or worse, he doesn’t know what he would do. His heart beats faster as the task force run into the warehouse. Without thinking twice, he walks into the warehouse to see blood over Raito.
♪♫But some stupid with a handgun
shot my man in the head
Blooooooood over Raito, fire in the sky!♫♪