Wow.

Drunk-texting someone who's in the same room.

How awesome am I?

Are you aware of all this poetry on google?

Poetry on Google

I am SO glad I live in the U.S.A.

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/29049101/

This is really the subhead on Bill O'reilly's page on foxnews.com:

"How the far left plans to change America by using illegal immigrants"

We are one degree away from Fox News saying that Obama's going to eat your babies in the night.

Gary requires activity or entertainment forthwith!

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What do you think the moment was when Obama clinched the presidency?

I think it was when the conservative radio talk show hosts tried to tell us that the fist-bump was a terrorist symbol.

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http://www.theonion.com/content/node/28784