Mmf
I feel so bad all of a sudden today. I mean, my parents and brother are home from Waco now which is a good thing. Though I had a horrible day at work as I was stressed the whole five hours and a lot of the time tried to hide out in the single bathroom in the back room until I was called or something. Didn't work well as I found out that other than the hardlines team lead I was the only hardlines person on the damn floor from noon to five.
Just. Ugh. And since she had to take care of something every time the stupid front lanes had back-up the guest service team lead and the two executive team leads kept calling me by name to go to the front. I did once. The rest of the time I damn well ignored them.
I just couldn't put up with them today and I was even more pissed when the hardlines team lead decided to call me to help her with a pull the stupid over night people left for us to do (it was HUGE and all itty-bitty stationary crap) and then she left me half-way through it to do it myself.
I'm wondering if the reason I'm feeling so tired, lackluster, and just freaking blaaaah is just me being tired, this heat, or for some weird reason I'm depressed or something. I don't know, I still got my RP drive, so I highly doubt it's the third one.
In other news, I have realized why I go to anime conventions as well as cosplay and do the group activities. It's to get away from what is my reality. To away from this shit of a family and this shit of a life I really have. During those times I'm always so happy and cheerful, nowhere near like I usually am. Or those times where I end up crying and try hard to suppress it to try and avoid any more questions from the tyrant known as my father.
The Internet is my get-away place and the more I am away from it the more I feel that I would rather just drive off the road or something close to that to try and just feel something, I guess. I know, it all sounds horribly emo but it's really how I feel a lot of the time. If I'm not doing something I love or talking to people I care for, I really just feel like doing something to know that I am still here or just trying to make it so that it's true.
Guh. I'm so sick of this shit and yet I can't do a damn thing about it. I can't be out on my own yet, there's no way I could survive by myself.
Sorry for the tl;dr. I just... feel horrible.
Just. Ugh. And since she had to take care of something every time the stupid front lanes had back-up the guest service team lead and the two executive team leads kept calling me by name to go to the front. I did once. The rest of the time I damn well ignored them.
I just couldn't put up with them today and I was even more pissed when the hardlines team lead decided to call me to help her with a pull the stupid over night people left for us to do (it was HUGE and all itty-bitty stationary crap) and then she left me half-way through it to do it myself.
I'm wondering if the reason I'm feeling so tired, lackluster, and just freaking blaaaah is just me being tired, this heat, or for some weird reason I'm depressed or something. I don't know, I still got my RP drive, so I highly doubt it's the third one.
In other news, I have realized why I go to anime conventions as well as cosplay and do the group activities. It's to get away from what is my reality. To away from this shit of a family and this shit of a life I really have. During those times I'm always so happy and cheerful, nowhere near like I usually am. Or those times where I end up crying and try hard to suppress it to try and avoid any more questions from the tyrant known as my father.
The Internet is my get-away place and the more I am away from it the more I feel that I would rather just drive off the road or something close to that to try and just feel something, I guess. I know, it all sounds horribly emo but it's really how I feel a lot of the time. If I'm not doing something I love or talking to people I care for, I really just feel like doing something to know that I am still here or just trying to make it so that it's true.
Guh. I'm so sick of this shit and yet I can't do a damn thing about it. I can't be out on my own yet, there's no way I could survive by myself.
Sorry for the tl;dr. I just... feel horrible.