Private Paper Journal - Nine
[Hand written in a personal Journal she just picked up from the store the other day. Unreadable as it’s not on the network. Can not be hacked. Stolen yes, but not hacked. A journal written in off and on through the day. In really fine print she wrote:]
Journal,
Hello! So I picked up a journal with Doumeki-kun the other ay and only just got to use it. I wanted to write something long and thoughtful, so my journal can look… well used and needed, but all I can think about is Doumeki and Watanuki and Ichijou right now. Things seem to have gotten really bad for some reason. One day they seem alright, the next things seem… messed up for the two boys. I can’t put my finger on it, and I don’t know all that is going on. It’s a bit frustrating, but I know things have changed. HE’s changed.
I’m worried about Doumeki the most though. Watanuki seemed to have pushed himself away or perhaps he’s just got something more important, but Doumeki can’t seem to stand back, and it worries me. I wish Watanuki could see how he’s hurting him, but I suppose it’s not is job either.
Worried. That’s all. I’m just worried. I shouldn’t be, but I am.
In other news, I’m worried about Ichijou-kun now as well. They moved us, and, well… it might be for the better for him in some accounts but for others, well… it wouldn’t be too good for his secret to get out too far, right? I’m sure he will do well enough in hiding it though. He’s smart. But I still worry about my friends.
It might be good though, this week, if he wasn’t around. Which I don’t like to admit, but I will anyhow.
I’ve been being really lazy today. This new house is much farther then the old one, and my friends are all so far away now. The new guy, I haven’t really met him yet. Riku? I’m worried. I really am. I don’t… want to just come out and say something, but I don’t want him to think I am snubbing him when I don’t reach out and shake his hand or something.
Oh! This is terrible! Why couldn’t they just leave things well enough alone? This is horrible. I’m sure he’s a very nice person too, which just makes this all worse. Maybe if they housed me with someone who was less then sane… I hear they have those here on the island. Maybe if he was insane or something, then my bad luck wouldn’t matter so much.
No, I’d still feel bad. Oh this is horrible.
[Added in a hour or so later, after a pause, so her writing is a bit different.]
I’m really very worried about Doumeki now. I don’t know what to say or do. Maybe I should go and check on him… I don’t know what to do. I feel terribly lost on where I stand with anyone right now.
I miss home. I miss being able to go and curl up next to Mom and watch her sew. Or sit next to Dad as he relaxes form a long days work. To just be able to reach over and hug them. I’ve never felt so… alone before, but I’m sure I should have gotten used to this long before. Even if I didn’t have friends I had them.
Now I don’t have them either, and the ones I don have… I don’t know how ot hold on to. I hate not knowing what is going on around here or why they are so upset. I piece together a bit here and there, but it’s never enough. I’m always one step behind.
Should I really be this worried?
[Added shortly after hearing Ichijou ask for Kaname]
His voice … why… do I feel really bad right now? Maybe I should check in on them now. I’m so worried.
Journal,
Hello! So I picked up a journal with Doumeki-kun the other ay and only just got to use it. I wanted to write something long and thoughtful, so my journal can look… well used and needed, but all I can think about is Doumeki and Watanuki and Ichijou right now. Things seem to have gotten really bad for some reason. One day they seem alright, the next things seem… messed up for the two boys. I can’t put my finger on it, and I don’t know all that is going on. It’s a bit frustrating, but I know things have changed. HE’s changed.
I’m worried about Doumeki the most though. Watanuki seemed to have pushed himself away or perhaps he’s just got something more important, but Doumeki can’t seem to stand back, and it worries me. I wish Watanuki could see how he’s hurting him, but I suppose it’s not is job either.
Worried. That’s all. I’m just worried. I shouldn’t be, but I am.
In other news, I’m worried about Ichijou-kun now as well. They moved us, and, well… it might be for the better for him in some accounts but for others, well… it wouldn’t be too good for his secret to get out too far, right? I’m sure he will do well enough in hiding it though. He’s smart. But I still worry about my friends.
It might be good though, this week, if he wasn’t around. Which I don’t like to admit, but I will anyhow.
I’ve been being really lazy today. This new house is much farther then the old one, and my friends are all so far away now. The new guy, I haven’t really met him yet. Riku? I’m worried. I really am. I don’t… want to just come out and say something, but I don’t want him to think I am snubbing him when I don’t reach out and shake his hand or something.
Oh! This is terrible! Why couldn’t they just leave things well enough alone? This is horrible. I’m sure he’s a very nice person too, which just makes this all worse. Maybe if they housed me with someone who was less then sane… I hear they have those here on the island. Maybe if he was insane or something, then my bad luck wouldn’t matter so much.
No, I’d still feel bad. Oh this is horrible.
[Added in a hour or so later, after a pause, so her writing is a bit different.]
I’m really very worried about Doumeki now. I don’t know what to say or do. Maybe I should go and check on him… I don’t know what to do. I feel terribly lost on where I stand with anyone right now.
I miss home. I miss being able to go and curl up next to Mom and watch her sew. Or sit next to Dad as he relaxes form a long days work. To just be able to reach over and hug them. I’ve never felt so… alone before, but I’m sure I should have gotten used to this long before. Even if I didn’t have friends I had them.
Now I don’t have them either, and the ones I don have… I don’t know how ot hold on to. I hate not knowing what is going on around here or why they are so upset. I piece together a bit here and there, but it’s never enough. I’m always one step behind.
Should I really be this worried?
[Added shortly after hearing Ichijou ask for Kaname]
His voice … why… do I feel really bad right now? Maybe I should check in on them now. I’m so worried.