Fic: That Perfect Smile
Title: That Perfect Smile
Author: badly_knitted
Characters: Ianto, Lisa, Jack.
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 1736
Spoilers: Most of Season One and Fragments.
Summary: Right from the start, Ianto should have known that Jack’s smile would be his undoing.
Written For: Weekend Challenge Prompt: Drama Titles, using ‘Falling Into Your Smile’ at 1_million_words.
Disclaimer: I don’t own Torchwood, or the characters.
Captain Jack Harkness was only ever meant to be a means to an end, Ianto’s way into Torchwood Three, where he’d have access to everything he needed for Lisa, without having to pay for any of it. A safe, secure place to hide her, all the medical equipment and drugs she required, information and contacts, because there had to be someone, somewhere in the world, with the expertise to remove her cyber implants, and if anyone knew who that someone was, it would be Torchwood.
So, Captain Jack had been the key to getting inside the base. Torchwood Three’s leader, the only person with the authority to recruit new personnel, the man Ianto had needed to approach in the hopes of gaining employment. Ianto had put everything he had into convincing the enigmatic, and admittedly dashing, captain to give him a job, dressing provocatively in tight jeans and a studded belt, rescuing him from a Weevil, offering him the finest coffee he’d ever tasted, and in the end all it had taken was a sharp suit and a stray Pterodactyl. Who knew?
Capturing the prehistoric creature, hearing Jack tell him to report for work the following morning, that should have been a moment of triumph, and in some respects it had been, but it was also the moment when all of Ianto’s carefully laid plans had started to veer out of his control. Working with Captain Harkness had been exciting, exhilarating, a roller-coaster ride, an insane, addictive adrenaline rush. Rolling about on the grubby warehouse floor, first with Jack on top of him, then with him on top of Jack, staring into those vivid blue eyes, both of them laughing giddily… The temptation to kiss that laughing mouth had been almost unbearable. They’d scarcely spent any time together, and already Ianto was in serious trouble.
It only got worse after that day, working long hours at the Hub, juggling his new duties as Torchwood Three’s General Support Officer with the need to care for Lisa, and all the time intensely aware of Jack’s presence. The only times Ianto felt he could breathe easily were when Captain Harkness wasn’t in the Hub, because when he was, even the vastness of the underground base felt too small. Harkness filled every millimetre of available space with his larger-than-life personality, his dizzying scent, and his smile.
God, that smile! Perfect, even white teeth framed by full, pink lips… Ianto had found the occasional man attractive, in an abstract kind of way, an awareness of their good looks, their sex appeal, their virility even, but on a scale of one to ten, Jack dialled everything up to a hundred, even when he wasn’t smiling. When he was… Ianto found himself struggling to remember why he’d fought so hard to get a job with Torchwood Three, every thought that didn’t involve Jack in some way swept from his mind as if it had never existed.
Lisa. He was here for her, not for any other reason, and definitely not because he felt irresistibly drawn to Captain Jack Harkness. He didn’t (liar), couldn’t (liar), wouldn’t betray Lisa like that (not unless it was the only way to distract Jack. Please, God, let it be…).
But every time Jack smiled at him, Ianto fell a little more, his resistance chipped away like ice from a car windscreen on a bitterly cold January morning. He wanted to kiss that smile, experience the softness of those lips, because he had no doubt they would be soft, and warm, and moist, and mobile. Living lips. Lisa’s lips were cold, dry, stiff, with a lingering metallic aftertaste. Kissing her used to be a sensual delight, but now it was like kissing a robot. Kissing Jack would be… a banquet for the senses.
Ianto knew he shouldn’t think like that, but he couldn’t help himself. He was doing everything he could for Lisa, but even though she was still alive, strapped to her life-support machinery, he felt alone, all but starved of meaningful human contact. Lisa could hardly move, couldn’t touch him, or hold him, and Ianto hated that he resented her for something so far outside of her control, but no matter how hard he tried not to, a traitorous little part of him still did.
Despite all he was doing for her, he was getting almost nothing in return. He talked to her, but most of the time she was too tired, too weak, or too heavily drugged to respond much. He reassured Lisa, comforted her, told her he loved her, and it was true, mostly, but he loved the woman she had been, the woman he hoped she could be again. He felt only pity and a sense of duty towards her present self. That, and guilt.
And every day he worked around the Hub, cleaning up, filing, making coffee, Jack would be there, smiling warmly, showing his appreciation with a word or a touch. Ianto craved that smile, started doing things calculated to get the response he desired from the captain. Helping him with his coat, bringing him chocolate biscuits with his coffee, lending a hand with the stacks of paperwork on the boss’s desk, just so he could bask in the warm glow that filled him when the smile was turned his way. It was the only thing that made him feel alive.
Then Lisa was discovered, he lost the woman he’d risked everything for, and that was horrible. His reason for living was gone, all his hopes and plans for their future turned to ashes, but as bad as that was, the loss of Jack’s smile was worse. The captain’s glare was cold as ice, cutting to Ianto’s core, freezing him inside and out, colder by far than the chill he’d felt from Lisa’s half-converted body.
Ianto thought he could survive losing Lisa, part of him had known all along that his efforts to save her might fail, even though he’d never allowed himself to seriously consider that possibility, but if Jack never smiled at him again, if he’d lost that, what would be the point of living? Towards the end, Jack’s smile had been the only bright spot in his long and gruelling days of too much work and not enough sleep. It had sustained him when even drinking ridiculous amounts of coffee wasn’t enough to keep him going. Without it, he might fade away to nothing. Maybe he already had.
So he trudged on, through the four endless weeks of his suspension, through the first few days of his return to work, feeling empty inside, trying to ignore Owen’s scowls, Gwen’s pitying looks, Tosh’s gentle sympathy, and Jack’s cold, hard scrutiny. He felt dead inside, existing out of habit and because it was the path of least resistance. Anything else would have taken too much effort.
The trip to the Brecon Beacons snapped him out of himself for a bit, the sheer horror of encountering cannibals who saw him as nothing more than meat for their table… It was insane! An entire remote village of ordinary human beings preying on travellers simply because they enjoyed eating human flesh. He hadn’t been sure he wanted to go on living, but the idea of being butchered and eaten was so repulsive it broke through his apathy, forced him into survival mode. Even so, if it hadn’t been for Jack, none of them would have survived.
Jack was kind to him after that, considerate because of his injuries, more so than Ianto felt he deserved, but the smile was still absent. Not that there was anything to smile about, not with most of the team sporting injuries. Still, Ianto felt almost pathetically grateful for the kind words when Jack told him he’d done well, providing Tosh with an opportunity to escape. Even if it wasn’t true, it was nice to hear.
They blundered on, dancing awkwardly around each other, until after Mary, but at least Jack no longer seemed angry with him, and Ianto no longer felt like he was walking on eggshells every time they were in the same room. Slowly, the smiles returned and something inside Ianto began to thaw, knowing he was forgiven.
He was right about how Jack’s lips would feel, even if the first kiss was barely remembered, occurring as it had in the midst of chaos while what had once been Lisa was trying to kill them all. He hadn’t been able to appreciate it properly, being barely conscious at the time, and not sure why it had even happened. The kisses that followed, however, those he made sure to savour.
He’d initiated the first one, right after almost getting Jack killed, enslaved on an alien planet, or both. One kiss, which had led to another, and another, and what they’d both agreed would be one single night together. That resolve had lasted barely a week. There’d been the mess with Suzie, and Jack having to kill her again, and almost before Ianto had realised what he was doing, he’d been propositioning his boss over the twice deceased body of their former colleague. How warped was that? And yet it had drawn a smile from Jack, and wasn’t that all that really mattered?
Ianto, Jack, a stopwatch… It had been a memorable night, the second such night, but not the last. Perhaps it shouldn’t have happened, perhaps Ianto should still have been grieving the loss of the woman he’d planned to spend the rest of his life with, and it wasn’t as if the grief had miraculously vanished, any more than the guilt and shame had. But Ianto had needed to find a new purpose, a reason to keep going in the wake of Lisa’s death, and while his job with Torchwood had been enough to get him out of bed every morning, he hadn’t been living, just marking time. Jack…
Jack was the embodiment of life, and when Ianto was with him, he felt almost as if Jack’s lifeforce was soaking into him, being absorbed through his skin, reigniting the guttering flame of his own desire to live.
But hadn’t he always known how it would be? Looking back, he’d been falling since that first smile; he’d never really had a choice, or perhaps he simply hadn’t wanted one. Jack was irresistible, and Ianto would gladly take whatever he could get, for as long as it lasted.
The End
Author: badly_knitted
Characters: Ianto, Lisa, Jack.
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 1736
Spoilers: Most of Season One and Fragments.
Summary: Right from the start, Ianto should have known that Jack’s smile would be his undoing.
Written For: Weekend Challenge Prompt: Drama Titles, using ‘Falling Into Your Smile’ at 1_million_words.
Disclaimer: I don’t own Torchwood, or the characters.
Captain Jack Harkness was only ever meant to be a means to an end, Ianto’s way into Torchwood Three, where he’d have access to everything he needed for Lisa, without having to pay for any of it. A safe, secure place to hide her, all the medical equipment and drugs she required, information and contacts, because there had to be someone, somewhere in the world, with the expertise to remove her cyber implants, and if anyone knew who that someone was, it would be Torchwood.
So, Captain Jack had been the key to getting inside the base. Torchwood Three’s leader, the only person with the authority to recruit new personnel, the man Ianto had needed to approach in the hopes of gaining employment. Ianto had put everything he had into convincing the enigmatic, and admittedly dashing, captain to give him a job, dressing provocatively in tight jeans and a studded belt, rescuing him from a Weevil, offering him the finest coffee he’d ever tasted, and in the end all it had taken was a sharp suit and a stray Pterodactyl. Who knew?
Capturing the prehistoric creature, hearing Jack tell him to report for work the following morning, that should have been a moment of triumph, and in some respects it had been, but it was also the moment when all of Ianto’s carefully laid plans had started to veer out of his control. Working with Captain Harkness had been exciting, exhilarating, a roller-coaster ride, an insane, addictive adrenaline rush. Rolling about on the grubby warehouse floor, first with Jack on top of him, then with him on top of Jack, staring into those vivid blue eyes, both of them laughing giddily… The temptation to kiss that laughing mouth had been almost unbearable. They’d scarcely spent any time together, and already Ianto was in serious trouble.
It only got worse after that day, working long hours at the Hub, juggling his new duties as Torchwood Three’s General Support Officer with the need to care for Lisa, and all the time intensely aware of Jack’s presence. The only times Ianto felt he could breathe easily were when Captain Harkness wasn’t in the Hub, because when he was, even the vastness of the underground base felt too small. Harkness filled every millimetre of available space with his larger-than-life personality, his dizzying scent, and his smile.
God, that smile! Perfect, even white teeth framed by full, pink lips… Ianto had found the occasional man attractive, in an abstract kind of way, an awareness of their good looks, their sex appeal, their virility even, but on a scale of one to ten, Jack dialled everything up to a hundred, even when he wasn’t smiling. When he was… Ianto found himself struggling to remember why he’d fought so hard to get a job with Torchwood Three, every thought that didn’t involve Jack in some way swept from his mind as if it had never existed.
Lisa. He was here for her, not for any other reason, and definitely not because he felt irresistibly drawn to Captain Jack Harkness. He didn’t (liar), couldn’t (liar), wouldn’t betray Lisa like that (not unless it was the only way to distract Jack. Please, God, let it be…).
But every time Jack smiled at him, Ianto fell a little more, his resistance chipped away like ice from a car windscreen on a bitterly cold January morning. He wanted to kiss that smile, experience the softness of those lips, because he had no doubt they would be soft, and warm, and moist, and mobile. Living lips. Lisa’s lips were cold, dry, stiff, with a lingering metallic aftertaste. Kissing her used to be a sensual delight, but now it was like kissing a robot. Kissing Jack would be… a banquet for the senses.
Ianto knew he shouldn’t think like that, but he couldn’t help himself. He was doing everything he could for Lisa, but even though she was still alive, strapped to her life-support machinery, he felt alone, all but starved of meaningful human contact. Lisa could hardly move, couldn’t touch him, or hold him, and Ianto hated that he resented her for something so far outside of her control, but no matter how hard he tried not to, a traitorous little part of him still did.
Despite all he was doing for her, he was getting almost nothing in return. He talked to her, but most of the time she was too tired, too weak, or too heavily drugged to respond much. He reassured Lisa, comforted her, told her he loved her, and it was true, mostly, but he loved the woman she had been, the woman he hoped she could be again. He felt only pity and a sense of duty towards her present self. That, and guilt.
And every day he worked around the Hub, cleaning up, filing, making coffee, Jack would be there, smiling warmly, showing his appreciation with a word or a touch. Ianto craved that smile, started doing things calculated to get the response he desired from the captain. Helping him with his coat, bringing him chocolate biscuits with his coffee, lending a hand with the stacks of paperwork on the boss’s desk, just so he could bask in the warm glow that filled him when the smile was turned his way. It was the only thing that made him feel alive.
Then Lisa was discovered, he lost the woman he’d risked everything for, and that was horrible. His reason for living was gone, all his hopes and plans for their future turned to ashes, but as bad as that was, the loss of Jack’s smile was worse. The captain’s glare was cold as ice, cutting to Ianto’s core, freezing him inside and out, colder by far than the chill he’d felt from Lisa’s half-converted body.
Ianto thought he could survive losing Lisa, part of him had known all along that his efforts to save her might fail, even though he’d never allowed himself to seriously consider that possibility, but if Jack never smiled at him again, if he’d lost that, what would be the point of living? Towards the end, Jack’s smile had been the only bright spot in his long and gruelling days of too much work and not enough sleep. It had sustained him when even drinking ridiculous amounts of coffee wasn’t enough to keep him going. Without it, he might fade away to nothing. Maybe he already had.
So he trudged on, through the four endless weeks of his suspension, through the first few days of his return to work, feeling empty inside, trying to ignore Owen’s scowls, Gwen’s pitying looks, Tosh’s gentle sympathy, and Jack’s cold, hard scrutiny. He felt dead inside, existing out of habit and because it was the path of least resistance. Anything else would have taken too much effort.
The trip to the Brecon Beacons snapped him out of himself for a bit, the sheer horror of encountering cannibals who saw him as nothing more than meat for their table… It was insane! An entire remote village of ordinary human beings preying on travellers simply because they enjoyed eating human flesh. He hadn’t been sure he wanted to go on living, but the idea of being butchered and eaten was so repulsive it broke through his apathy, forced him into survival mode. Even so, if it hadn’t been for Jack, none of them would have survived.
Jack was kind to him after that, considerate because of his injuries, more so than Ianto felt he deserved, but the smile was still absent. Not that there was anything to smile about, not with most of the team sporting injuries. Still, Ianto felt almost pathetically grateful for the kind words when Jack told him he’d done well, providing Tosh with an opportunity to escape. Even if it wasn’t true, it was nice to hear.
They blundered on, dancing awkwardly around each other, until after Mary, but at least Jack no longer seemed angry with him, and Ianto no longer felt like he was walking on eggshells every time they were in the same room. Slowly, the smiles returned and something inside Ianto began to thaw, knowing he was forgiven.
He was right about how Jack’s lips would feel, even if the first kiss was barely remembered, occurring as it had in the midst of chaos while what had once been Lisa was trying to kill them all. He hadn’t been able to appreciate it properly, being barely conscious at the time, and not sure why it had even happened. The kisses that followed, however, those he made sure to savour.
He’d initiated the first one, right after almost getting Jack killed, enslaved on an alien planet, or both. One kiss, which had led to another, and another, and what they’d both agreed would be one single night together. That resolve had lasted barely a week. There’d been the mess with Suzie, and Jack having to kill her again, and almost before Ianto had realised what he was doing, he’d been propositioning his boss over the twice deceased body of their former colleague. How warped was that? And yet it had drawn a smile from Jack, and wasn’t that all that really mattered?
Ianto, Jack, a stopwatch… It had been a memorable night, the second such night, but not the last. Perhaps it shouldn’t have happened, perhaps Ianto should still have been grieving the loss of the woman he’d planned to spend the rest of his life with, and it wasn’t as if the grief had miraculously vanished, any more than the guilt and shame had. But Ianto had needed to find a new purpose, a reason to keep going in the wake of Lisa’s death, and while his job with Torchwood had been enough to get him out of bed every morning, he hadn’t been living, just marking time. Jack…
Jack was the embodiment of life, and when Ianto was with him, he felt almost as if Jack’s lifeforce was soaking into him, being absorbed through his skin, reigniting the guttering flame of his own desire to live.
But hadn’t he always known how it would be? Looking back, he’d been falling since that first smile; he’d never really had a choice, or perhaps he simply hadn’t wanted one. Jack was irresistible, and Ianto would gladly take whatever he could get, for as long as it lasted.
The End