Fic: Not The Best Idea
Title: Not The Best Idea
Author: badly_knitted
Characters: Jack, Ianto.
Rating: PG
Word Count: 1149
Spoilers: Nada.
Summary: The latest item to fall through the Rift is a bit of a mystery. Ianto advises him to be cautious, but Jack isn’t in the mood to listen.
Written For: Weekend Challenge: Random Prompts at 1_million_words, using ‘Trust me’ and ‘I told you so’.
Disclaimer: I don’t own Torchwood, or the characters.
“Trust me,” Jack had said. “I know what I’m doing.”
Ianto had given his lover his most unimpressed look. “I’ve heard that before. Usually just before disaster strikes.”
“Oh, thanks for the vote of no confidence!”
“In our line of work, that’s more appropriate than overconfidence. All I’m saying is that we should wait for the rest of the team to get here. We have no idea what that thing is, or what it does, and I don’t like the way those lights keep flashing. Tosh’s instruments are more sensitive than the ones we’re carrying; she’ll be able to give us a better idea of what we’re dealing with. What if it’s a bomb of some sort and it blows up because you were fiddling with it?”
“What if it blows up while we’re just standing here looking at it when we could have disabled it?” Jack had countered. “Not that it’s going to blow up, because it’s not a bomb.”
“You can’t know that for certain.”
“I can, and I do. For one thing, it looks nothing like any explosive device I’ve ever seen, and believe me, I’ve seen a lot.”
“Perhaps it’s been disguised so no one will recognise it as a bomb. Did you ever think about that?”
“Stop going on about bombs! It’s not a bomb!” Jack had snapped in exasperation. “My VM isn’t picking up any trace of explosives, and it’s at least as sensitive as Tosh’s scanners. Now, since I’m the boss around here, and what I say goes, I’m going to take a closer look.”
“Fine, just don’t say I didn’t warn you. I’ll be waiting in the SUV, or maybe behind it.” With that, Ianto had stalked off, hoping that the big, black, heavily modified Range Rover would provide him with some degree of protection if things went pear-shaped. Jack could survive being killed, but Ianto unfortunately didn’t have that advantage.
That was where he was now, leaning on the roof, watching, ready to duck if it should become necessary, while Jack, having walked around the object, scanning it with his VM, was now crouched beside it, poking at it, trying to determine exactly what the Rift had brought them this time.
It was a sort of greenish-gold cylinder, perhaps three and a half feet tall and eighteen inches in diameter, with two black rods sticking out of the domed top, each ending in a tuft of hair-thin filaments. Down the top third of the cylinder, two dozen small, coloured lights were arranged in two columns, and beside each light was an equally small black button, inset into the smooth metal, level with the surface. The lights were flickering off and on at random, and the device was making a quiet whirring noise, with an occasional discordant clonking and rattling from somewhere deep inside. Below the lights and buttons, a slightly recessed rectangular area, perhaps six inches wide and eight high, was bordered by a shallow, straight-edged groove.
As Ianto watched, Jack leaned forward, studying that area carefully, running his fingers around the edge, pressing it at various points, and feeling for any sort of catch. He reached up with his other hand and poked at one of the buttons with the tip of a finger.
Nothing happened, so he poked at a couple more.
Still nothing, but even from this distance, Ianto could see Jack was frowning. He sat back on his haunches and poked all of the buttons one at a time, starting with the top, lefthand one, working his way down that column, then back up the righthand column, then he leaned forward again, turning his head to one side and putting his ear close to the rectangular area below the buttons.
All of the little lights were flashing wildly now, and Ianto clenched his fists, resisting the urge to dash out there and drag Jack away, knowing if he did, he’d be risking his life should the object blew up. While he had no objection to putting his life on the line to save someone in danger, whether human or alien, he wasn’t about to throw it away just because his lover was being an idiot. If Jack got himself vaporised or something, it would be his own fault.
He saw Jack rap on the side of the cylinder a couple of times, and then…
It wasn’t exactly an explosion, more like a geyser going off as a gush of steam and hot liquids burst from the side of the cylinder, hitting Jack squarely on the side of his face and knocking him to the ground. He floundered desperately on grass that was quickly turning into a mud wallow, trying to drag himself away as more liquid spilled forth in a flood, and Ianto ran to help him, grabbing him by one wet, muddy hand and pulling him clear.
Jack slumped to the ground, half his face scalded, red and blistered, but already starting to heal, although Ianto thought he would probably be deaf in one ear for a while. It was a good thing he’d had his eyes closed as he’d listened to the noises coming from inside the device, otherwise he would probably have been blinded too.
“Do you want me to say, ‘I told you so’?” Ianto asked mildly, standing with his hands on his hips, glaring down at Jack, sprawled in an untidy and woebegone heap.
“Not particularly,” Jack muttered, levering himself upright, then tipping his head to one side to let the liquid drain out of his damaged ear.
“Well, I suppose you at least solved the mystery of what this thing is, even though I’m sure Tosh would have found a safer, not to mention less painful, way of identifying it.”
Jack scowled at the alien drinks dispenser, which was still pumping out a mixture of beverages, both hot and cold. That was probably what had prevented him being more seriously burned.
“Must be broken.”
“Quite possibly,” Ianto agreed. “It did fall through the Rift. Then again, if you hadn’t pressed every single button at least once, and then hit it…” He trailed off, giving his lover a significant look. “I don’t think it’s designed to make every kind of drink on its menu at the same time. You probably overloaded its circuits.”
“Fine, I’m an idiot.”
“Yes, you are.”
“You didn’t have to agree with me!”
Ianto smirked. “As you told me earlier, you’re the boss, and what you say goes. As your employee, it would be rude of me to contradict you.”
Jack pouted, then winced as it pulled at his healing burns. “Ow.”
“You really only have yourself to blame. Come on, better try to clean you up a bit before the others get here, but next time, maybe keep in mind that just because you’re older than the rest of us, it doesn’t mean you know everything.”
The End
Author: badly_knitted
Characters: Jack, Ianto.
Rating: PG
Word Count: 1149
Spoilers: Nada.
Summary: The latest item to fall through the Rift is a bit of a mystery. Ianto advises him to be cautious, but Jack isn’t in the mood to listen.
Written For: Weekend Challenge: Random Prompts at 1_million_words, using ‘Trust me’ and ‘I told you so’.
Disclaimer: I don’t own Torchwood, or the characters.
“Trust me,” Jack had said. “I know what I’m doing.”
Ianto had given his lover his most unimpressed look. “I’ve heard that before. Usually just before disaster strikes.”
“Oh, thanks for the vote of no confidence!”
“In our line of work, that’s more appropriate than overconfidence. All I’m saying is that we should wait for the rest of the team to get here. We have no idea what that thing is, or what it does, and I don’t like the way those lights keep flashing. Tosh’s instruments are more sensitive than the ones we’re carrying; she’ll be able to give us a better idea of what we’re dealing with. What if it’s a bomb of some sort and it blows up because you were fiddling with it?”
“What if it blows up while we’re just standing here looking at it when we could have disabled it?” Jack had countered. “Not that it’s going to blow up, because it’s not a bomb.”
“You can’t know that for certain.”
“I can, and I do. For one thing, it looks nothing like any explosive device I’ve ever seen, and believe me, I’ve seen a lot.”
“Perhaps it’s been disguised so no one will recognise it as a bomb. Did you ever think about that?”
“Stop going on about bombs! It’s not a bomb!” Jack had snapped in exasperation. “My VM isn’t picking up any trace of explosives, and it’s at least as sensitive as Tosh’s scanners. Now, since I’m the boss around here, and what I say goes, I’m going to take a closer look.”
“Fine, just don’t say I didn’t warn you. I’ll be waiting in the SUV, or maybe behind it.” With that, Ianto had stalked off, hoping that the big, black, heavily modified Range Rover would provide him with some degree of protection if things went pear-shaped. Jack could survive being killed, but Ianto unfortunately didn’t have that advantage.
That was where he was now, leaning on the roof, watching, ready to duck if it should become necessary, while Jack, having walked around the object, scanning it with his VM, was now crouched beside it, poking at it, trying to determine exactly what the Rift had brought them this time.
It was a sort of greenish-gold cylinder, perhaps three and a half feet tall and eighteen inches in diameter, with two black rods sticking out of the domed top, each ending in a tuft of hair-thin filaments. Down the top third of the cylinder, two dozen small, coloured lights were arranged in two columns, and beside each light was an equally small black button, inset into the smooth metal, level with the surface. The lights were flickering off and on at random, and the device was making a quiet whirring noise, with an occasional discordant clonking and rattling from somewhere deep inside. Below the lights and buttons, a slightly recessed rectangular area, perhaps six inches wide and eight high, was bordered by a shallow, straight-edged groove.
As Ianto watched, Jack leaned forward, studying that area carefully, running his fingers around the edge, pressing it at various points, and feeling for any sort of catch. He reached up with his other hand and poked at one of the buttons with the tip of a finger.
Nothing happened, so he poked at a couple more.
Still nothing, but even from this distance, Ianto could see Jack was frowning. He sat back on his haunches and poked all of the buttons one at a time, starting with the top, lefthand one, working his way down that column, then back up the righthand column, then he leaned forward again, turning his head to one side and putting his ear close to the rectangular area below the buttons.
All of the little lights were flashing wildly now, and Ianto clenched his fists, resisting the urge to dash out there and drag Jack away, knowing if he did, he’d be risking his life should the object blew up. While he had no objection to putting his life on the line to save someone in danger, whether human or alien, he wasn’t about to throw it away just because his lover was being an idiot. If Jack got himself vaporised or something, it would be his own fault.
He saw Jack rap on the side of the cylinder a couple of times, and then…
It wasn’t exactly an explosion, more like a geyser going off as a gush of steam and hot liquids burst from the side of the cylinder, hitting Jack squarely on the side of his face and knocking him to the ground. He floundered desperately on grass that was quickly turning into a mud wallow, trying to drag himself away as more liquid spilled forth in a flood, and Ianto ran to help him, grabbing him by one wet, muddy hand and pulling him clear.
Jack slumped to the ground, half his face scalded, red and blistered, but already starting to heal, although Ianto thought he would probably be deaf in one ear for a while. It was a good thing he’d had his eyes closed as he’d listened to the noises coming from inside the device, otherwise he would probably have been blinded too.
“Do you want me to say, ‘I told you so’?” Ianto asked mildly, standing with his hands on his hips, glaring down at Jack, sprawled in an untidy and woebegone heap.
“Not particularly,” Jack muttered, levering himself upright, then tipping his head to one side to let the liquid drain out of his damaged ear.
“Well, I suppose you at least solved the mystery of what this thing is, even though I’m sure Tosh would have found a safer, not to mention less painful, way of identifying it.”
Jack scowled at the alien drinks dispenser, which was still pumping out a mixture of beverages, both hot and cold. That was probably what had prevented him being more seriously burned.
“Must be broken.”
“Quite possibly,” Ianto agreed. “It did fall through the Rift. Then again, if you hadn’t pressed every single button at least once, and then hit it…” He trailed off, giving his lover a significant look. “I don’t think it’s designed to make every kind of drink on its menu at the same time. You probably overloaded its circuits.”
“Fine, I’m an idiot.”
“Yes, you are.”
“You didn’t have to agree with me!”
Ianto smirked. “As you told me earlier, you’re the boss, and what you say goes. As your employee, it would be rude of me to contradict you.”
Jack pouted, then winced as it pulled at his healing burns. “Ow.”
“You really only have yourself to blame. Come on, better try to clean you up a bit before the others get here, but next time, maybe keep in mind that just because you’re older than the rest of us, it doesn’t mean you know everything.”
The End