Delinquent [22/24]
Delinquent [22/24] by all_tattooed
Frank/Gerard [NC-17 - language, violence, crime, mentions of drugs & alcohol, sex ...etc.]
RPS. Don't know. Don't own. No harm intended.
~5888 words.
Summary: When Frank goes to Juvy, his counselor reforms him in a questionable manner.
Thanks to skelterellax for beta'ing. xo
Dedications: blck_cherry
Con-Crit welcome. Comments are nice.
Chapter 21
***
Chapter 22
Waiting was a problem though. Waiting was a problem because it made Frank think about things that he would otherwise avoid thinking about. Like what the fuck those little scribbles said that McKay had been making, and, why he even needed to make them at all. Maybe it was an assessment? Well, obviously it was an assessment, of some kind anyway. Behavioral assessment? Mental assessment? Way’s to Keep Frank Iero in Juvy assessment? Or -and this in a number of ways could quite possibly be much, much worse- Way’s to Kick Frank Iero Out of Juvy.
Frank was not a fan of his own mind when he was alone and not doing anything, the reason for this being, -much like how he had stressed out about Gerard only last week- that he always pondered over things that weren’t actually happening. Sure, he thought, but there’s nothing wrong with that. It’s like looking into the future, creating images of what one day may come. It was always negative though, no matter what angle Frank looked at his future, save for Gerard.
But, Gerard wasn’t every aspect of Frank’s boxed-up life. He was only a part of it, a big part, still just a part, a slice, a section. Frank had other shit he had to deal with. Other people he needed to consider, like his parents and how many inches long his father’s coffin would have to be, or if the better option might be to just cremate him, stuff him in a scotch bottle and perch him on the bar shelf, at least his life, or death, style wouldn’t have changed. Frank thought that that’s pretty harsh though, to think about his father dying, but really, the man wasn’t far from it, which actually was a little upsetting, but Gerard was taking for fucking ever in Mr. McKay’s office and Frank couldn’t help it if his brain started to spazz out with ludicrous ideas and notions of Things Normal People Shouldn’t Think About.
All Frank could hear were soft murmurs spilling out from under the door and the light landing of Gerard’s boots on the floorboards. Frank leaned in a little closer, being completely nosey, and also trying to distract himself from the things he didn’t want to have to deal with yet, but he couldn’t make out any full words. He sighed, slumped back against the wall, and then, sighed again a bit louder, maybe half-hoping Gerard would sense his exasperation.
Quickly, he had gone back to thinking over the questions McKay had asked, the answers he had given, if there were even any right answers and if there were, what did that mean? Where would that get him? His answers had been mostly guesses anyway. Just lies ...partly truth, or at least things that sounded a little truthful, but overall Frank bullshitted his way through the entire thing, and really, he didn’t even know why ...okay, so Mark wasn’t going to have to hang around anymore, but what else? Was that it?
Things could only get worse to a certain extent and really, if being guarded for all the hours in a day that contained sunlight was McKay with all guns blazing, then Frank supposed he wasn’t having a very difficult time, or would ever have a worse time than this. And this wasn’t even bad. Actually, nothing was bad. Frank was nervous about the notes, nervous about what may happen after today, but really thinking about it, taking a deep, clean breath and weighing everything up, thinking so hard that the walls in the corridor looked as though they were bending, and the halogen lights flickered from the overrunning forces of mind-intensity, Frank realized that he was a) totally over-thinking, b) an idiot, and c) definitely not ready to leave Juvy. Definitely not ready to leave Gerard, even if it did mean he was showing signs of a better person he couldn’t just leave.
“...Frank?”
It was silly of Frank to think such a thing and he knew that. He knew that the point of coming to a place like this was to only get back out again. Do the time, fix himself, then leave and hope for the best. But the best of what? A better life? A better sense of self? The ability to make better decisions? And while the latter did stand out as the most reasonable answer, Frank wasn’t so sure that committing a crime and going to Juvy, -or prison- was the process that needed to be taken before receiving that skill.
“...Frankie!”
“Huh?”
Gerard laughed softly. “You okay?”
“Yeah. Yeah, I’m okay.” Frank smiled, shifted against the wall, and got to his feet. “Sorry, didn’t see you come out.” He looked at Gerard who tucked a piece of hair behind his ear, and Frank thought that right or wrong decisions didn’t even matter anyway, all he wanted right then was to be back in Gerard’s office. Back to being total clown and back to that feeling he got whenever he could smell that cotton candy scent that lingered at Gerard’s collar.
Gerard smiled back and took half a step, like he was unsure about walking, if the ground was solid or not, and Frank was about to follow, but Gerard just stopped on the spot and asked, “You sure?” He dipped his head, glanced up and down the corridors, then quickly kissed Frank’s cheek. “You seem a little dazed.”
Frank nodded. “I’m sure. Just thinking.”
“Hmm.” Gerard began to walk, Frank hovering beside him and trying to ignore the itch of his palm to just take Gerard’s hand and skip into a rainbow. “What were you thinking about?”
Lying actually crossed Frank’s mind. He had been thinking about a lot of things, one of which he didn’t want to mention because he already knew Gerard would disapprove of it, check if Frank was crazy, because why would he want to stay here? Why would anyone want to stay here?
Frank shrugged, leaned his head on Gerard’s arm, and smiled. “Silly stuff.”
“You’re silly.”
Scoffing gently, Frank nudged Gerard a little, but Gerard didn’t seem to mind, kept his balance quite well as he opened the door to his office before grinning with a scrunched nose down at Frank. “But I kinda like you,” he said, almost as airily as he himself breezed into the room, and Frank followed, closing the door behind them.
“So,” Gerard started, putting his now empty mug down as he perched himself on the edge of his desk, then, made grabby hands until Frank caught on and settled between Gerard’s legs, Gerard’s fingertips only just tucking into Frank’s back pockets. “I heard secrets about yooou.”
Frank smiled against Gerard’s shoulder. “You’re like, nine,” he said, then added, “But tell me the secrets.”
“Well it’s not a secret if I tell you.”
“It’s not a secret anyway if you heard it off someone else.”
Gerard didn’t say anything, so Frank pulled back a little and looked up at him, eyebrows raised with a smirk, and after a short second, Gerard just laughed. “Just about Nick.”
Frank kind of slumped against Gerard. He’d already forgotten about that, now everyone was probably walking around saying how nice, or how much of a suck up, Frank Iero is and that he likes to give away his belongings to people who hate him in exchange for friendship. Ew.
“Oh,” Frank said.
Gerard moved a hand, ran his fingers through Frank’s fringe, then placed a finger under his chin and lifted his face. He looked confused, eyes narrowed and lips tight and so close up, Frank could see thin laugh lines decorating the edge of his mouth, a slight lack of stubble along his jaw and the smell of cherries in his hair. It made Frank smile, all the little things rolled into one, and it crossed his mind that he’d never actually studied Gerard before, never stared until his eyes watered and his mouth went dry. He wasn’t quite there yet, but if Gerard didn’t speak pretty soon, he would be.
Gerard leaned in, kissing at the line of Frank’s top lip and letting his nose drag in the crease of Frank’s own and his cheek. “You sound disappointed,” he mumbled.
Frank shook his head softly and pulled Gerard’s hand back away from his face. “No. Why would I be disappointed?”
Gerard gave him a look. “I don’t know. Why would you be?”
“I wouldn’t be.”
“You wouldn’t be?”
“I wouldn’t.”
Gerard smiled. “Liar.”
Frank bit at his lip briefly before rolling his eyes because he caught Gerard rolling his eyes, and all the pauses in their half-assed conversations has just started to bother him. “Okay, fine. But, I’m not disappointed, just. Concerned?”
Gerard pulled a face again, clearly not understanding at all. Frank thought maybe they were both talking about different things, but that was impossible really, there was only one thing that had happened with Nick -of late anyway- and if Gerard was actually referring to the fight, then it’s probably Frank who should look confused.
Gerard asked, “What?”
“What?”
“What are you concerned for? It was a nice thing to do.”
Frank sighed loudly, like hearing the word ‘nice’ was absolutely dreadful, which it was, given the possibilities being nice could lead to in here, or, Frank was just being a big worry wart. He couldn’t seriously expect Mr. McKay to be satisfied with the fact that because Frank gave some dude a pair of gloves, meant he was now reformed and respectable, ready to go face the big, bad world once again. Gerard probably thought that though, because he’s easy like that, at least with Frank.
Frank moved away from Gerard, sat in his chair and made a pouty face. “Mr. McKay signed something when I was in there. Do you know what it was?”
Gerard’s eyebrows creased and he looked a bit puzzled again as he stared at the floor, a finger tapping at his chin, and his legs kicking out a little into the air below. Frank couldn’t tell if his counselor knew and was stalling, or if he was trying to work out the connection between their first topic and Frank’s question. Gerard was like, crazy-smart though. Sometimes it seemed he knew what Frank was thinking before Frank himself even knew what he was thinking, so it wouldn’t surprise Frank at all if Gerard was to break off into a disturbingly correct tirade about how Frank is looking at things from the wrong perspective, and that if he only made the effort once he was out of here, things could turn out a lot better than he’s imagining.
More surprising though, is the fact that Gerard just took a deep breath, looked straight at Frank, and said, “Yes.”
There was another pause, which made Frank grind his teeth a little. He was waiting for Gerard to continue, because yeah, Frank just wanted to know if Gerard knew, didn’t want to about it; ‘yeah cool, man, just checking’. Frank shifted in his seat, and Gerard shifted on the desk much the same, so Frank smiled, Gerard smiled back, then, Frank laughed and finally asked, “Well are you going to tell me what it was for?”
“Maybe. Do you want to know?”
Frank thought Gerard must be feeling like quite the comedian today. “Not at all,” he said.
“Then why’d you ask?”
Frank frowned. “I hate you.”
Gerard grinned. He was beaming actually, or maybe that was the sunlight streaming through the window. Either way, Gerard looked as if he’d just won a prize, and wanted to burst out in ‘yay’s’, which made Frank laugh, then quickly it turned into an exasperated groan, because fuck, he honestly did want to know.
“Tell me, Gerard. Don’t be an asshole.”
“Okay,” Gerard started, picking up a pen and twirling in between his fingers. Frank watched it for a moment, because he’d always sucked at that but it appeared to be something Gerard had had a fair amount of practice with. “It was a release form,” he said. Just said it. Same tone as, ‘I’m not hungry’. Dismissive, unmoved, like it was something that could easily be dealt with later, and Frank couldn’t really breathe.
Gerard may have been lying though. And, what if he was? Frank considered it. Considered Gerard knew he was already freaking out about leaving, and was just trying to stir him up, which, he was doing a fucking good job because Frank didn’t think he had ever felt so sick in his life. Worse than when he found out about Pete, worse than when Bert called. Things were finally at a point where Frank could settle a little and try to deal, take things as they come and make the right choices, all the while still being able to see Gerard. This was pretty rough and Frank was having a hard time understanding.
“Are you lying, Gerard?” Frank asked; all the patience in his voice he could muster.
Gerard shook his head, put his pen down and slipped himself off the desk. Frank looked down, tried to find something to distract himself with, the carpet, his knee, Gerard shoes, Chucks, his dirty laces, the way they were threaded, what way Frank would thread them given he had the chance. He didn’t want to know details, dates, how long he had. He knew what the paper was now, that’s all he needed to know.
“Happy now?” Gerard asked, and he sounded a little spiteful, blunt, but the look on his face said he didn’t mean it at Frank, as if it were himself he was mad at for saying it, for letting Frank know while knowing himself that -for both of them- it was actually bad news.
Frank glanced up at him, picking at the hem of his shirt. “No.”
“Yeah ...me neither.” Half-heartedly, Gerard smiled and knelt down in front of Frank. He tapped his fingers on Frank’s thighs a couple of times, then took a hold of Frank’s hands, moving them away from his shirt and lifting the material a little before leaning down and biting gently at dip in his hip.
Frank closed his eyes; still feeling like his heart was going to explode with a contrasting mix of love and distress, and his right hand tightened to a fist at the feeling of Gerard’s tongue dragging slowly across his skin.
“I don’t want to go,” he said, because he needed to say it now, as clear as it was Gerard already knew that, Frank still wanted to make sure, make sure Gerard could see he wasn’t someone Frank could just walk away from.
Gerard pulled away and looked up, then raised a hand cautiously and swept the pad of his thumb over Frank’s cheek. “Eyelash.” He smiled, and Frank had to rub over the spot himself then because it was suddenly itchy.
It was strange that Gerard didn’t really have much to say about it. In a way, Frank understood; he didn’t particularly want to discuss it either, but that was mostly because he didn’t want to believe it. This was a fair way different to all the other kinds of things Frank would generally avoid facing though, usually it was things that would blow over with time and usually during that time, he would worry about other more pointless happenings that weren’t so much happenings as they were Frank not knowing how to deal. However, leaving was unavoidable, or so it would seem, unless Frank was stupid enough to go and do something really fucking reckless.
Gerard sat on the floor and pushed Frank’s chair back, shifting to cross his legs and tugging lightly on the end of Frank’s jeans. “Come sit down here,” he said, receding a little more as Frank took his hand and slid himself down onto the carpet. Then, he looked down and noticed what he surprisingly hadn’t before and laughed.
“Are you keeping this in here?” he asked, brushing a hand over the pond his wild plastic car crashed into only yesterday.
“I considered it. Do you think I should?”
Frank glanced around the room. It was pretty dull, save for the floral tissue box on Gerard’s desk, but even that wasn’t terribly lively. “Maybe. Adds color.”
Gerard nodded. “That’s what I thought too.”
Frank just laughed, and it was at nothing, really. Maybe it was like, a random coping mechanism, the fact that somehow, in that moment, anything and everything Gerard was doing had Frank feeling as though if he didn’t breath, didn’t smile, take it all with a grain of salt like it had the potential to ruin him, he may just break down and beg anyone who’ll listen to let him to stay, because he needs more time. He’s not better yet. He needs more time.
Gerard tilted his head to rest on his shoulder as he shrugged some. He looked as if he was about to say something, his mouth opening slightly but then just closing again, and he proceeded to blow raspberries for a moment before just stopping abruptly. “I’m not sure how long, but I can find out if you want.”
Frank instantly thought, definitely not, but he did ask himself once whether or not he wanted to know, then said, “Definitely not”, which was much the same.
“Okay, but it still has to go to the review board. McKay can’t just sign you away.”
Well, Frank thought, that’s a relief. “Oh, that’s. That’s good? I s’pose,” he said, because yeah it was, in the way that it will take longer than what he’d initially thought, still, not good. He didn’t have anywhere to go. How lovely it was of Mother to tell Frank he could live with Aunt Claire, but Aunt Claire lived at the South Jersey Shore, which was hours away, and Frank didn’t even know how to get there.
“Wanna make out now?” Gerard smiled …cutely, Frank thought, like faux innocence would tempt him. It totally would.
Frank smiled back, completely unable -and unwilling- to control himself. Gerard had his goofy vest on, and Frank was already eyeing it, seeking out the fastest way to remove it without popping off any buttons. It was probably impossible, but he was going to try.
“On the mat?” Frank asked, because if he actually managed to influence Gerard to throw all caution out the window, and maybe, just maybe, after almost what? Three weeks? They could push the bookcase up behind the door and fuck in the office, on a child’s rug, Frank may implode.
Gerard gave Frank a look, and said, like it was really, very obvious, “On everywhere,” to which Frank inwardly groaned.
Neither of them moved after that, they just kind of sat there because it’s really not the same when being intimate has been planned.
Gerard smiled again, maybe also trying to hold in a bit of a laugh because Frank could see from the slight hollow that Gerard was biting the inside of his cheek. Frank went a little red and started picking at his nails.
“So, this is awkward,” he said. Hopefully stating the painfully obvious would help in some way.
“Mmm.”
“You can’t agree with me, Gerard. That makes it worse.”
Gerard finally laughed then, rather quietly though, like he was already over it. “What do you want me to do? Just fix it?”
“Yes.”
“How?”
“I don’t know. It was you’re idea.”
Gerard scoffed and uncrossed his legs, wincing slightly. It must have gone dead, Frank thought, so he poked it.
“Nggh. Don’t,” Gerard said, trying to bat his hand away. Gerard was useless now anyway if he couldn’t move. “Awkward isn’t a mood breaker, a numb leg is,” he stated, wrapping his hands around his knee, trying to hold himself still, eyes shut tight and teeth clenched. “I can’t even jump you when you’re unexpecting.”
Frank smiled and poked him again.
“Stop it! It hurts.”
“Unexpecting isn’t even a word.”
“Is now. And besides…” Gerard shifted slightly, maybe unintentionally and hissed when his leg spazzed out a little. “…you should be naked.”
“How naked?”
Gerard laughed, then tried to stop, but it was kind of difficult so he just ended up repeating ‘ah ah ah’ and glared at Frank. “Oh, y’know,” he started, sarcastic and somewhat breathless, “just enough so I can check out your ankles.”
Frank made a face at him. “Stop. The humor. My heart.”
“Ask a stupid question, you get a stupid answer. My leg’s better now.” Gerard smiled and let out a noisy breath, like he was quenching his thirst. His hair fell in front of his eyes as he dipped his head and reached over to rub at Frank’s left ankle, and after a moment he said, whilst staring blankly at Frank, “I’m really hard now.”
Frank smirked and pulled his jeans up a little further. “Yeah? You’re an excellent ankle masseuse.”
“It’s my specialty.” Gerard crept a little forward, rearranging his position until he was comfortably on his hands and knees, then practically crawling over to Frank. He looked up at Frank past dark lashes, and his voice was low and ...husky? -So Frank hoped he was kidding- when he said, “But ankles aren’t all I like to massage,” then he kind of snorted straight afterwards, which was a dead giveaway.
Frank just laughed, throwing his head back, and flinching his leg away from Gerard’s hand. “Gross,” he said, still laughing and not entirely sure how coherent that was, but apparently Gerard caught it anyway, and he laughed a little too.
“I know. Open door; had to take it,” Gerard said, paused to cough, then continued, “Wow, we’re really ruining this, huh?”
Frank was still laughing, but he tried to calm himself by taking long, steady breaths. “Yes,” he managed to say, not that he minded all that much. Gerard being an idiot was almost as good as a blowjob. If the blowjob was a really shitty one anyway. And, that thought made him laugh ever harder. Romance was a big flop today.
“Stop laughing,” Gerard said as he began to undo Frank’s belt.
Frank didn’t stop, though it was a much more silent laugh now. His stomach was starting to hurt and there were tears welling in his eyes. He tried to take another breath, but it didn’t work out the way he would have liked, almost choking on his throat insides -even though it’s ridiculously impossible- when he felt Gerard’s hand push into his boxers.
And, then he stopped laughing.
“Okay. Okay,” Frank said, voice shallow, and tried to lie back, pushing the chair behind him further away.
It must have been Gerard’s way to rid them of chances for any more gawky moments, because Frank would probably still be laughing if Gerard wasn’t wrapping his hand around Frank’s dick, leaning down to kiss just below his ear, and breathing way too hotly so fucking close. Normally, Frank’s heart would be racing, but all the edges in the office seemed a little blurry, and he could feel Gerard hard against his thigh, grinding just slowly enough for Frank to think he was maybe melting, so his mind kind of lost speed, and he was stuck between concentrating on the building pressure in his crotch and the few strands of Gerard’s hair that were tickling his cheek, which he had to try to blow away.
Frank mumbled about nothing, and lifted his arm to grip at Gerard’s back. Digging his nails in a little, he himself pushed up, all the while, pressing Gerard down. Gerard’s slightly opened mouth grazed across Frank’s jaw, under his chin, and lightly over his lips. Frank’s eyes were closed, but he could feel Gerard staring, feel his eyelashes crawl against his skin, and when he opened them, Gerard was right there, watching Frank’s face, and smiling, so Frank smiled back, and let his eyes fall closed again when Gerard just kissed him.
Frank wasn’t actually expecting Gerard to take it any further than this, which really was very stupid on his behalf considering…
Still, once again, Gerard proved himself to be both an idiot, and very fucking convincing.
Gerard slipped his hand out from Frank’s jeans and propped himself up on his elbows, his breaths were heavy to match his lids, and Frank could hear the sound travel down Gerard’s throat each time he swallowed before he asked, “If we be real quick, can I fuck you?”
Frank eyes widened and he sputtered with what to say for a moment. “What,” he said sharply, but still feeling as though he needed to whisper, “What if someone hears us?”
“No one will hear anything.”
“How do you know?”
Gerard leaned back down, kissed Frank's neck, then, looked back up at him, smiling. “I don’t,” he said, and Frank scoffed as Gerard added, “But I’ll bite my lip and cover your mouth like we talked about before.”
Unbelievable, Frank thought, then said, “You’re unbelievable.”
Gerard was silent and just moved back, pulling Frank’s pants off as he went, and clearly not very focused, or perhaps a little too focused, -depending- Frank arrived back at the mere thought of fucking in an office. It didn’t even matter that it was Gerard’s …from a very long, long way away, and regardless of the fact that it was a fairly dodgy looking office, it still made his stomach swoop, because offices were ‘professional’, all la-di-da and whatever.
Frank laughed aloud, again. He probably wouldn’t have though, given he took a moment to realize he was lying pants-less on his counselor’s office floor, on a play rug. On the floor, on a play rug, but it wasn’t so bad. Gerard kind of laughed a little too and held his hands out for Frank to take, and Frank had a fleeting thought, that putting aside nakedness and sex, it was little moments like these that he would miss the most about Gerard, the way he laughed, and just the pure comfort.
Then, Gerard happened to crush the loveliness by shoving all the crap that he had lying on his desk, onto the floor, and said, “Undress me while I look for stuff.”
Frank said, “Okay.” Took his shirt off, glanced at the door, and stepped over to Gerard, who was rummaging through his top draw, and started undoing his pants.
It was a bit difficult, Gerard wasn’t cooperating much at first, then, with an ‘ah ha’, Gerard turned around and pushed his jeans with rest of the way down with one hand and held up in the other, a wrapped condom and sachet of lube.
Gerard smiled. Frank just wanted to him to hurry the fuck up or else his dick would have probably exploded. “Single-serve lubrication,” Gerard said. “Never know when this’ll come in handy.”
Frank pulled a face. “You seriously are gross.”
Gerard laughed a little and began to unbutton his vest, but Frank grabbed his hands, and moved them so they were resting on his hips. “Leave that on,” he said, and switched their positions, taking a step back until his ass hit the edge of the desk, and he propped himself up onto it.
Gerard smirked, and leaned forward, his hands moving down Frank’s thighs as Frank laid back on the surface. Frank could feel his heart beating a little faster now, a little bit excitement, mostly fear though. He could only imagine the kinds of lies he and Gerard would need to come up with instantly if someone waltz in. None of which would work.
‘Oh, we were just, um…’ ‘Anatomy class…’ ‘It was an accident?’
Gerard obviously wasn’t as worried, which even though it shouldn’t have been, was kind of relieving. He was kissing down Frank’s stomach, one hand holding one of Frank’s, and the other curving against his hip. Frank moaned as quietly as he could when Gerard ran his tongue up the underside of his dick, dragging it to the tip and sucking slowly a few times, then, he just pulled away, opened the packets he had grabbed before, and looked at Frank like he was in deep thought.
“What?” Frank asked, sitting up again.
Gerard smiled, sat on his chair, and rolled the condom on. “Come here,” he said, and motioned to his lap with his head.
Frank grinned, and really didn’t mean for it to actually come out when he said, “Yes” as he moved off the desk.
Gerard looked up at him, one eyebrow raised. “Yes?”
It had been a blunder, but Frank repeated it anyway. “Yes.”
Gerard hummed a little, using his teeth to open the lube, and Frank took it upon himself to try to maneuver onto Gerard’s lap without falling over or breaking his legs in an attempt to get them under the arm rests. Gerard was holding the open packet in one hand, and had one arm out to the side, probably to indicate he would catch Frank if he did fall, but he wouldn’t be quick enough anyway.
With one leg through, and the muscle strained a bit, Frank giggled almost unnoticeably. “I think I’m gonna snap my back,” he said, and took a hold of Gerard’s shoulder.
“No, you’re okay.” Quickly, Gerard squeezed the lube into his hand, rubbed it on his dick, then, grabbed Frank’s ass, pulling him forward so he could slip his other leg through, and he slid himself a bit further down in the chair. “Fuck, Frankie,” Gerard said, smiling, and Frank grinned back, lifting himself and holding onto his arms behind Gerard’s neck. “Do you want-”
“-No, just…”
“Okay.”
Frank’s stomach muscles were clenched. His toes couldn’t even reach the ground. One of Gerard’s hands was rested on the small of his back and the other on his dick, trying to line himself up to Frank. How much they had stalled made Frank nervous, now he was mostly a mess; if someone so much as knocked on the door, they wouldn’t be able to break apart quick enough without fumbling like crazy, unless Gerard was to just stand up and fling Frank out the window.
Frank asked, “You’re not gonna fling me out the window are you?” Which made Gerard laugh, but the movement had him pushing into Frank a little faster than what he had meant, so it turned into a hushed and drawn-out moan.
Frank closed his eyes, buried his face in the crook of Gerard’s neck and pressed down some more. Gerard smelt like candy and cigarettes, and the collar of his dress shirt was cool against Frank’s flushed cheek. His legs already felt mostly dead, but the muscles in his back started to relax as he lowered himself further.
“Okay?”
“Mm.”
Actually, it was hurting quite a lot, but…
Frank pushed down once more and he was in Gerard’s lap. Gerard did bite at his lip, his head back, neck exposed, and Frank leaned forward, pressed his mouth to the side of Gerard’s, slowly lifted again, then, back down.
“Fuck,” he mumbled, his breath hitching a little.
Gerard dragged his hand up Frank’s side, twisted his finger’s in his hair, and pushed him down even more with his other hand a top Frank’s thigh. Frank just kept moving, both of them unable to concentrate hard enough to find one another’s mouth to kiss properly, and they were quiet, or, as quiet as they could be, but Gerard kept repeating, ‘shh shh’ all choppily and breathless, and Frank had to bite down on Gerard’s shoulder because he could feel it already, and his dick was pressed up hard against Gerard’s stomach, making it come on even quicker.
Frank was so sweaty. He could feel Gerard’s fingers sticky on his back, and his hair, clinging to his forehead and he was so close his legs started to shake.
Gerard was muttering curses against Frank’s collarbone, licking and kissing every now and then, until his body tightened and he dug in fingers around Frank’s hips, and Frank pressed his mouth to Gerard’s to keep them both quiet, because if they weren’t risking anything, Frank would be swearing rather dramatically into the sky right now.
Frank remained relaxed against Gerard for a while, both of them just breathing heavily, and Frank already felt sleepy. He wondered, since he knew he could be leaving within a few weeks, how exactly he and Gerard we’re planning on managing anyway if he were to stay for months like he was supposed to. Were they just going to sneak around the whole time? Kiss behind closed doors, and pretend they hardly knew each other in front of everyone else?
“My legs are dead,” Gerard said, kissing Frank’s cheek and brushing the hair from his eyes.
“Same.”
“Can you get up?”
Frank nodded, lifted up, and untangled himself. His entire body felt heavy and weak, like his bones were jelly, and muscles were clay. Gerard peeled off the condom, tossed it in the trashcan, and bent down to grab his pants.
“I think we’re over our time,” Gerard said with a dorky grin.
Frank glanced at the clock, and shrugged whilst doing his jeans up. “Hey,” he started, then waved a hand after a quick thought, deciding against it, then, deciding against that, looked at Gerard’s very confused face, and said, “What are we going to do?”
Gerard shook his head a little, still looking confused. “What’d you mean?”
Frank shrugged. “When I go. If I go.”
“Frankie.” Gerard smiled, then laughed. He pulled Frank closer to him, threading their fingers together, and tugging him down a little. “You come live with me.”
Umm, was all Frank thought, so it was quite impossible for him to speak. Okay? Maybe would have been appropriate. But, did he want to live with Gerard. That was a stupid question. Of course he fucking did. Frank laughed, then, huffed, like he couldn’t quite get it out. “Fuck,” he said, and, “Fuck,” again.
“If you want to,” Gerard said, and wrapped his hands around Frank’s hips before making a kissy face.
Frank felt like bursting into a million love heart sequins to tell Gerard just how much yes yes yes, but he jolted a little at the dreadful sound of the door clicking open, and another voice filling the room, then, stopping instantly. Too shocked in his skin to move away from Gerard, Frank looked over and saw Nick standing in the doorway, seemingly disgusted.
Frank thought he was having a movie moment in which the camera zoomed in to the expression that told most of the story. Gerard.
Gerard’s arms were still wrapped around Frank. Frank didn’t even have his fucking shirt back on yet, and he finally stepped back, staring straight at Nick, who still hadn’t said another word. Frank wished he could just fall into a black hole.
They all just looked at one another for what felt like for-fucking-ever, and Nick appeared to be a statue, unmoving, unreadable, and when he did speak, Frank didn’t really know how to take it.
“Not fucking cool, man,” he scrunched his face, shook his head a bit, and started to back up out of the room. He said it once more, “Not fucking cool.”
When the door was closed again, Frank looked over at Gerard, but Gerard didn’t look up.
***
OH NOES!
CLICK HERE 4 MR. WAY'S OFFICE. OMG.
Chapter 23
Frank/Gerard [NC-17 - language, violence, crime, mentions of drugs & alcohol, sex ...etc.]
RPS. Don't know. Don't own. No harm intended.
~5888 words.
Summary: When Frank goes to Juvy, his counselor reforms him in a questionable manner.
Thanks to skelterellax for beta'ing. xo
Dedications: blck_cherry
Con-Crit welcome. Comments are nice.
Chapter 21
***
Chapter 22
Waiting was a problem though. Waiting was a problem because it made Frank think about things that he would otherwise avoid thinking about. Like what the fuck those little scribbles said that McKay had been making, and, why he even needed to make them at all. Maybe it was an assessment? Well, obviously it was an assessment, of some kind anyway. Behavioral assessment? Mental assessment? Way’s to Keep Frank Iero in Juvy assessment? Or -and this in a number of ways could quite possibly be much, much worse- Way’s to Kick Frank Iero Out of Juvy.
Frank was not a fan of his own mind when he was alone and not doing anything, the reason for this being, -much like how he had stressed out about Gerard only last week- that he always pondered over things that weren’t actually happening. Sure, he thought, but there’s nothing wrong with that. It’s like looking into the future, creating images of what one day may come. It was always negative though, no matter what angle Frank looked at his future, save for Gerard.
But, Gerard wasn’t every aspect of Frank’s boxed-up life. He was only a part of it, a big part, still just a part, a slice, a section. Frank had other shit he had to deal with. Other people he needed to consider, like his parents and how many inches long his father’s coffin would have to be, or if the better option might be to just cremate him, stuff him in a scotch bottle and perch him on the bar shelf, at least his life, or death, style wouldn’t have changed. Frank thought that that’s pretty harsh though, to think about his father dying, but really, the man wasn’t far from it, which actually was a little upsetting, but Gerard was taking for fucking ever in Mr. McKay’s office and Frank couldn’t help it if his brain started to spazz out with ludicrous ideas and notions of Things Normal People Shouldn’t Think About.
All Frank could hear were soft murmurs spilling out from under the door and the light landing of Gerard’s boots on the floorboards. Frank leaned in a little closer, being completely nosey, and also trying to distract himself from the things he didn’t want to have to deal with yet, but he couldn’t make out any full words. He sighed, slumped back against the wall, and then, sighed again a bit louder, maybe half-hoping Gerard would sense his exasperation.
Quickly, he had gone back to thinking over the questions McKay had asked, the answers he had given, if there were even any right answers and if there were, what did that mean? Where would that get him? His answers had been mostly guesses anyway. Just lies ...partly truth, or at least things that sounded a little truthful, but overall Frank bullshitted his way through the entire thing, and really, he didn’t even know why ...okay, so Mark wasn’t going to have to hang around anymore, but what else? Was that it?
Things could only get worse to a certain extent and really, if being guarded for all the hours in a day that contained sunlight was McKay with all guns blazing, then Frank supposed he wasn’t having a very difficult time, or would ever have a worse time than this. And this wasn’t even bad. Actually, nothing was bad. Frank was nervous about the notes, nervous about what may happen after today, but really thinking about it, taking a deep, clean breath and weighing everything up, thinking so hard that the walls in the corridor looked as though they were bending, and the halogen lights flickered from the overrunning forces of mind-intensity, Frank realized that he was a) totally over-thinking, b) an idiot, and c) definitely not ready to leave Juvy. Definitely not ready to leave Gerard, even if it did mean he was showing signs of a better person he couldn’t just leave.
“...Frank?”
It was silly of Frank to think such a thing and he knew that. He knew that the point of coming to a place like this was to only get back out again. Do the time, fix himself, then leave and hope for the best. But the best of what? A better life? A better sense of self? The ability to make better decisions? And while the latter did stand out as the most reasonable answer, Frank wasn’t so sure that committing a crime and going to Juvy, -or prison- was the process that needed to be taken before receiving that skill.
“...Frankie!”
“Huh?”
Gerard laughed softly. “You okay?”
“Yeah. Yeah, I’m okay.” Frank smiled, shifted against the wall, and got to his feet. “Sorry, didn’t see you come out.” He looked at Gerard who tucked a piece of hair behind his ear, and Frank thought that right or wrong decisions didn’t even matter anyway, all he wanted right then was to be back in Gerard’s office. Back to being total clown and back to that feeling he got whenever he could smell that cotton candy scent that lingered at Gerard’s collar.
Gerard smiled back and took half a step, like he was unsure about walking, if the ground was solid or not, and Frank was about to follow, but Gerard just stopped on the spot and asked, “You sure?” He dipped his head, glanced up and down the corridors, then quickly kissed Frank’s cheek. “You seem a little dazed.”
Frank nodded. “I’m sure. Just thinking.”
“Hmm.” Gerard began to walk, Frank hovering beside him and trying to ignore the itch of his palm to just take Gerard’s hand and skip into a rainbow. “What were you thinking about?”
Lying actually crossed Frank’s mind. He had been thinking about a lot of things, one of which he didn’t want to mention because he already knew Gerard would disapprove of it, check if Frank was crazy, because why would he want to stay here? Why would anyone want to stay here?
Frank shrugged, leaned his head on Gerard’s arm, and smiled. “Silly stuff.”
“You’re silly.”
Scoffing gently, Frank nudged Gerard a little, but Gerard didn’t seem to mind, kept his balance quite well as he opened the door to his office before grinning with a scrunched nose down at Frank. “But I kinda like you,” he said, almost as airily as he himself breezed into the room, and Frank followed, closing the door behind them.
“So,” Gerard started, putting his now empty mug down as he perched himself on the edge of his desk, then, made grabby hands until Frank caught on and settled between Gerard’s legs, Gerard’s fingertips only just tucking into Frank’s back pockets. “I heard secrets about yooou.”
Frank smiled against Gerard’s shoulder. “You’re like, nine,” he said, then added, “But tell me the secrets.”
“Well it’s not a secret if I tell you.”
“It’s not a secret anyway if you heard it off someone else.”
Gerard didn’t say anything, so Frank pulled back a little and looked up at him, eyebrows raised with a smirk, and after a short second, Gerard just laughed. “Just about Nick.”
Frank kind of slumped against Gerard. He’d already forgotten about that, now everyone was probably walking around saying how nice, or how much of a suck up, Frank Iero is and that he likes to give away his belongings to people who hate him in exchange for friendship. Ew.
“Oh,” Frank said.
Gerard moved a hand, ran his fingers through Frank’s fringe, then placed a finger under his chin and lifted his face. He looked confused, eyes narrowed and lips tight and so close up, Frank could see thin laugh lines decorating the edge of his mouth, a slight lack of stubble along his jaw and the smell of cherries in his hair. It made Frank smile, all the little things rolled into one, and it crossed his mind that he’d never actually studied Gerard before, never stared until his eyes watered and his mouth went dry. He wasn’t quite there yet, but if Gerard didn’t speak pretty soon, he would be.
Gerard leaned in, kissing at the line of Frank’s top lip and letting his nose drag in the crease of Frank’s own and his cheek. “You sound disappointed,” he mumbled.
Frank shook his head softly and pulled Gerard’s hand back away from his face. “No. Why would I be disappointed?”
Gerard gave him a look. “I don’t know. Why would you be?”
“I wouldn’t be.”
“You wouldn’t be?”
“I wouldn’t.”
Gerard smiled. “Liar.”
Frank bit at his lip briefly before rolling his eyes because he caught Gerard rolling his eyes, and all the pauses in their half-assed conversations has just started to bother him. “Okay, fine. But, I’m not disappointed, just. Concerned?”
Gerard pulled a face again, clearly not understanding at all. Frank thought maybe they were both talking about different things, but that was impossible really, there was only one thing that had happened with Nick -of late anyway- and if Gerard was actually referring to the fight, then it’s probably Frank who should look confused.
Gerard asked, “What?”
“What?”
“What are you concerned for? It was a nice thing to do.”
Frank sighed loudly, like hearing the word ‘nice’ was absolutely dreadful, which it was, given the possibilities being nice could lead to in here, or, Frank was just being a big worry wart. He couldn’t seriously expect Mr. McKay to be satisfied with the fact that because Frank gave some dude a pair of gloves, meant he was now reformed and respectable, ready to go face the big, bad world once again. Gerard probably thought that though, because he’s easy like that, at least with Frank.
Frank moved away from Gerard, sat in his chair and made a pouty face. “Mr. McKay signed something when I was in there. Do you know what it was?”
Gerard’s eyebrows creased and he looked a bit puzzled again as he stared at the floor, a finger tapping at his chin, and his legs kicking out a little into the air below. Frank couldn’t tell if his counselor knew and was stalling, or if he was trying to work out the connection between their first topic and Frank’s question. Gerard was like, crazy-smart though. Sometimes it seemed he knew what Frank was thinking before Frank himself even knew what he was thinking, so it wouldn’t surprise Frank at all if Gerard was to break off into a disturbingly correct tirade about how Frank is looking at things from the wrong perspective, and that if he only made the effort once he was out of here, things could turn out a lot better than he’s imagining.
More surprising though, is the fact that Gerard just took a deep breath, looked straight at Frank, and said, “Yes.”
There was another pause, which made Frank grind his teeth a little. He was waiting for Gerard to continue, because yeah, Frank just wanted to know if Gerard knew, didn’t want to about it; ‘yeah cool, man, just checking’. Frank shifted in his seat, and Gerard shifted on the desk much the same, so Frank smiled, Gerard smiled back, then, Frank laughed and finally asked, “Well are you going to tell me what it was for?”
“Maybe. Do you want to know?”
Frank thought Gerard must be feeling like quite the comedian today. “Not at all,” he said.
“Then why’d you ask?”
Frank frowned. “I hate you.”
Gerard grinned. He was beaming actually, or maybe that was the sunlight streaming through the window. Either way, Gerard looked as if he’d just won a prize, and wanted to burst out in ‘yay’s’, which made Frank laugh, then quickly it turned into an exasperated groan, because fuck, he honestly did want to know.
“Tell me, Gerard. Don’t be an asshole.”
“Okay,” Gerard started, picking up a pen and twirling in between his fingers. Frank watched it for a moment, because he’d always sucked at that but it appeared to be something Gerard had had a fair amount of practice with. “It was a release form,” he said. Just said it. Same tone as, ‘I’m not hungry’. Dismissive, unmoved, like it was something that could easily be dealt with later, and Frank couldn’t really breathe.
Gerard may have been lying though. And, what if he was? Frank considered it. Considered Gerard knew he was already freaking out about leaving, and was just trying to stir him up, which, he was doing a fucking good job because Frank didn’t think he had ever felt so sick in his life. Worse than when he found out about Pete, worse than when Bert called. Things were finally at a point where Frank could settle a little and try to deal, take things as they come and make the right choices, all the while still being able to see Gerard. This was pretty rough and Frank was having a hard time understanding.
“Are you lying, Gerard?” Frank asked; all the patience in his voice he could muster.
Gerard shook his head, put his pen down and slipped himself off the desk. Frank looked down, tried to find something to distract himself with, the carpet, his knee, Gerard shoes, Chucks, his dirty laces, the way they were threaded, what way Frank would thread them given he had the chance. He didn’t want to know details, dates, how long he had. He knew what the paper was now, that’s all he needed to know.
“Happy now?” Gerard asked, and he sounded a little spiteful, blunt, but the look on his face said he didn’t mean it at Frank, as if it were himself he was mad at for saying it, for letting Frank know while knowing himself that -for both of them- it was actually bad news.
Frank glanced up at him, picking at the hem of his shirt. “No.”
“Yeah ...me neither.” Half-heartedly, Gerard smiled and knelt down in front of Frank. He tapped his fingers on Frank’s thighs a couple of times, then took a hold of Frank’s hands, moving them away from his shirt and lifting the material a little before leaning down and biting gently at dip in his hip.
Frank closed his eyes; still feeling like his heart was going to explode with a contrasting mix of love and distress, and his right hand tightened to a fist at the feeling of Gerard’s tongue dragging slowly across his skin.
“I don’t want to go,” he said, because he needed to say it now, as clear as it was Gerard already knew that, Frank still wanted to make sure, make sure Gerard could see he wasn’t someone Frank could just walk away from.
Gerard pulled away and looked up, then raised a hand cautiously and swept the pad of his thumb over Frank’s cheek. “Eyelash.” He smiled, and Frank had to rub over the spot himself then because it was suddenly itchy.
It was strange that Gerard didn’t really have much to say about it. In a way, Frank understood; he didn’t particularly want to discuss it either, but that was mostly because he didn’t want to believe it. This was a fair way different to all the other kinds of things Frank would generally avoid facing though, usually it was things that would blow over with time and usually during that time, he would worry about other more pointless happenings that weren’t so much happenings as they were Frank not knowing how to deal. However, leaving was unavoidable, or so it would seem, unless Frank was stupid enough to go and do something really fucking reckless.
Gerard sat on the floor and pushed Frank’s chair back, shifting to cross his legs and tugging lightly on the end of Frank’s jeans. “Come sit down here,” he said, receding a little more as Frank took his hand and slid himself down onto the carpet. Then, he looked down and noticed what he surprisingly hadn’t before and laughed.
“Are you keeping this in here?” he asked, brushing a hand over the pond his wild plastic car crashed into only yesterday.
“I considered it. Do you think I should?”
Frank glanced around the room. It was pretty dull, save for the floral tissue box on Gerard’s desk, but even that wasn’t terribly lively. “Maybe. Adds color.”
Gerard nodded. “That’s what I thought too.”
Frank just laughed, and it was at nothing, really. Maybe it was like, a random coping mechanism, the fact that somehow, in that moment, anything and everything Gerard was doing had Frank feeling as though if he didn’t breath, didn’t smile, take it all with a grain of salt like it had the potential to ruin him, he may just break down and beg anyone who’ll listen to let him to stay, because he needs more time. He’s not better yet. He needs more time.
Gerard tilted his head to rest on his shoulder as he shrugged some. He looked as if he was about to say something, his mouth opening slightly but then just closing again, and he proceeded to blow raspberries for a moment before just stopping abruptly. “I’m not sure how long, but I can find out if you want.”
Frank instantly thought, definitely not, but he did ask himself once whether or not he wanted to know, then said, “Definitely not”, which was much the same.
“Okay, but it still has to go to the review board. McKay can’t just sign you away.”
Well, Frank thought, that’s a relief. “Oh, that’s. That’s good? I s’pose,” he said, because yeah it was, in the way that it will take longer than what he’d initially thought, still, not good. He didn’t have anywhere to go. How lovely it was of Mother to tell Frank he could live with Aunt Claire, but Aunt Claire lived at the South Jersey Shore, which was hours away, and Frank didn’t even know how to get there.
“Wanna make out now?” Gerard smiled …cutely, Frank thought, like faux innocence would tempt him. It totally would.
Frank smiled back, completely unable -and unwilling- to control himself. Gerard had his goofy vest on, and Frank was already eyeing it, seeking out the fastest way to remove it without popping off any buttons. It was probably impossible, but he was going to try.
“On the mat?” Frank asked, because if he actually managed to influence Gerard to throw all caution out the window, and maybe, just maybe, after almost what? Three weeks? They could push the bookcase up behind the door and fuck in the office, on a child’s rug, Frank may implode.
Gerard gave Frank a look, and said, like it was really, very obvious, “On everywhere,” to which Frank inwardly groaned.
Neither of them moved after that, they just kind of sat there because it’s really not the same when being intimate has been planned.
Gerard smiled again, maybe also trying to hold in a bit of a laugh because Frank could see from the slight hollow that Gerard was biting the inside of his cheek. Frank went a little red and started picking at his nails.
“So, this is awkward,” he said. Hopefully stating the painfully obvious would help in some way.
“Mmm.”
“You can’t agree with me, Gerard. That makes it worse.”
Gerard finally laughed then, rather quietly though, like he was already over it. “What do you want me to do? Just fix it?”
“Yes.”
“How?”
“I don’t know. It was you’re idea.”
Gerard scoffed and uncrossed his legs, wincing slightly. It must have gone dead, Frank thought, so he poked it.
“Nggh. Don’t,” Gerard said, trying to bat his hand away. Gerard was useless now anyway if he couldn’t move. “Awkward isn’t a mood breaker, a numb leg is,” he stated, wrapping his hands around his knee, trying to hold himself still, eyes shut tight and teeth clenched. “I can’t even jump you when you’re unexpecting.”
Frank smiled and poked him again.
“Stop it! It hurts.”
“Unexpecting isn’t even a word.”
“Is now. And besides…” Gerard shifted slightly, maybe unintentionally and hissed when his leg spazzed out a little. “…you should be naked.”
“How naked?”
Gerard laughed, then tried to stop, but it was kind of difficult so he just ended up repeating ‘ah ah ah’ and glared at Frank. “Oh, y’know,” he started, sarcastic and somewhat breathless, “just enough so I can check out your ankles.”
Frank made a face at him. “Stop. The humor. My heart.”
“Ask a stupid question, you get a stupid answer. My leg’s better now.” Gerard smiled and let out a noisy breath, like he was quenching his thirst. His hair fell in front of his eyes as he dipped his head and reached over to rub at Frank’s left ankle, and after a moment he said, whilst staring blankly at Frank, “I’m really hard now.”
Frank smirked and pulled his jeans up a little further. “Yeah? You’re an excellent ankle masseuse.”
“It’s my specialty.” Gerard crept a little forward, rearranging his position until he was comfortably on his hands and knees, then practically crawling over to Frank. He looked up at Frank past dark lashes, and his voice was low and ...husky? -So Frank hoped he was kidding- when he said, “But ankles aren’t all I like to massage,” then he kind of snorted straight afterwards, which was a dead giveaway.
Frank just laughed, throwing his head back, and flinching his leg away from Gerard’s hand. “Gross,” he said, still laughing and not entirely sure how coherent that was, but apparently Gerard caught it anyway, and he laughed a little too.
“I know. Open door; had to take it,” Gerard said, paused to cough, then continued, “Wow, we’re really ruining this, huh?”
Frank was still laughing, but he tried to calm himself by taking long, steady breaths. “Yes,” he managed to say, not that he minded all that much. Gerard being an idiot was almost as good as a blowjob. If the blowjob was a really shitty one anyway. And, that thought made him laugh ever harder. Romance was a big flop today.
“Stop laughing,” Gerard said as he began to undo Frank’s belt.
Frank didn’t stop, though it was a much more silent laugh now. His stomach was starting to hurt and there were tears welling in his eyes. He tried to take another breath, but it didn’t work out the way he would have liked, almost choking on his throat insides -even though it’s ridiculously impossible- when he felt Gerard’s hand push into his boxers.
And, then he stopped laughing.
“Okay. Okay,” Frank said, voice shallow, and tried to lie back, pushing the chair behind him further away.
It must have been Gerard’s way to rid them of chances for any more gawky moments, because Frank would probably still be laughing if Gerard wasn’t wrapping his hand around Frank’s dick, leaning down to kiss just below his ear, and breathing way too hotly so fucking close. Normally, Frank’s heart would be racing, but all the edges in the office seemed a little blurry, and he could feel Gerard hard against his thigh, grinding just slowly enough for Frank to think he was maybe melting, so his mind kind of lost speed, and he was stuck between concentrating on the building pressure in his crotch and the few strands of Gerard’s hair that were tickling his cheek, which he had to try to blow away.
Frank mumbled about nothing, and lifted his arm to grip at Gerard’s back. Digging his nails in a little, he himself pushed up, all the while, pressing Gerard down. Gerard’s slightly opened mouth grazed across Frank’s jaw, under his chin, and lightly over his lips. Frank’s eyes were closed, but he could feel Gerard staring, feel his eyelashes crawl against his skin, and when he opened them, Gerard was right there, watching Frank’s face, and smiling, so Frank smiled back, and let his eyes fall closed again when Gerard just kissed him.
Frank wasn’t actually expecting Gerard to take it any further than this, which really was very stupid on his behalf considering…
Still, once again, Gerard proved himself to be both an idiot, and very fucking convincing.
Gerard slipped his hand out from Frank’s jeans and propped himself up on his elbows, his breaths were heavy to match his lids, and Frank could hear the sound travel down Gerard’s throat each time he swallowed before he asked, “If we be real quick, can I fuck you?”
Frank eyes widened and he sputtered with what to say for a moment. “What,” he said sharply, but still feeling as though he needed to whisper, “What if someone hears us?”
“No one will hear anything.”
“How do you know?”
Gerard leaned back down, kissed Frank's neck, then, looked back up at him, smiling. “I don’t,” he said, and Frank scoffed as Gerard added, “But I’ll bite my lip and cover your mouth like we talked about before.”
Unbelievable, Frank thought, then said, “You’re unbelievable.”
Gerard was silent and just moved back, pulling Frank’s pants off as he went, and clearly not very focused, or perhaps a little too focused, -depending- Frank arrived back at the mere thought of fucking in an office. It didn’t even matter that it was Gerard’s …from a very long, long way away, and regardless of the fact that it was a fairly dodgy looking office, it still made his stomach swoop, because offices were ‘professional’, all la-di-da and whatever.
Frank laughed aloud, again. He probably wouldn’t have though, given he took a moment to realize he was lying pants-less on his counselor’s office floor, on a play rug. On the floor, on a play rug, but it wasn’t so bad. Gerard kind of laughed a little too and held his hands out for Frank to take, and Frank had a fleeting thought, that putting aside nakedness and sex, it was little moments like these that he would miss the most about Gerard, the way he laughed, and just the pure comfort.
Then, Gerard happened to crush the loveliness by shoving all the crap that he had lying on his desk, onto the floor, and said, “Undress me while I look for stuff.”
Frank said, “Okay.” Took his shirt off, glanced at the door, and stepped over to Gerard, who was rummaging through his top draw, and started undoing his pants.
It was a bit difficult, Gerard wasn’t cooperating much at first, then, with an ‘ah ha’, Gerard turned around and pushed his jeans with rest of the way down with one hand and held up in the other, a wrapped condom and sachet of lube.
Gerard smiled. Frank just wanted to him to hurry the fuck up or else his dick would have probably exploded. “Single-serve lubrication,” Gerard said. “Never know when this’ll come in handy.”
Frank pulled a face. “You seriously are gross.”
Gerard laughed a little and began to unbutton his vest, but Frank grabbed his hands, and moved them so they were resting on his hips. “Leave that on,” he said, and switched their positions, taking a step back until his ass hit the edge of the desk, and he propped himself up onto it.
Gerard smirked, and leaned forward, his hands moving down Frank’s thighs as Frank laid back on the surface. Frank could feel his heart beating a little faster now, a little bit excitement, mostly fear though. He could only imagine the kinds of lies he and Gerard would need to come up with instantly if someone waltz in. None of which would work.
‘Oh, we were just, um…’ ‘Anatomy class…’ ‘It was an accident?’
Gerard obviously wasn’t as worried, which even though it shouldn’t have been, was kind of relieving. He was kissing down Frank’s stomach, one hand holding one of Frank’s, and the other curving against his hip. Frank moaned as quietly as he could when Gerard ran his tongue up the underside of his dick, dragging it to the tip and sucking slowly a few times, then, he just pulled away, opened the packets he had grabbed before, and looked at Frank like he was in deep thought.
“What?” Frank asked, sitting up again.
Gerard smiled, sat on his chair, and rolled the condom on. “Come here,” he said, and motioned to his lap with his head.
Frank grinned, and really didn’t mean for it to actually come out when he said, “Yes” as he moved off the desk.
Gerard looked up at him, one eyebrow raised. “Yes?”
It had been a blunder, but Frank repeated it anyway. “Yes.”
Gerard hummed a little, using his teeth to open the lube, and Frank took it upon himself to try to maneuver onto Gerard’s lap without falling over or breaking his legs in an attempt to get them under the arm rests. Gerard was holding the open packet in one hand, and had one arm out to the side, probably to indicate he would catch Frank if he did fall, but he wouldn’t be quick enough anyway.
With one leg through, and the muscle strained a bit, Frank giggled almost unnoticeably. “I think I’m gonna snap my back,” he said, and took a hold of Gerard’s shoulder.
“No, you’re okay.” Quickly, Gerard squeezed the lube into his hand, rubbed it on his dick, then, grabbed Frank’s ass, pulling him forward so he could slip his other leg through, and he slid himself a bit further down in the chair. “Fuck, Frankie,” Gerard said, smiling, and Frank grinned back, lifting himself and holding onto his arms behind Gerard’s neck. “Do you want-”
“-No, just…”
“Okay.”
Frank’s stomach muscles were clenched. His toes couldn’t even reach the ground. One of Gerard’s hands was rested on the small of his back and the other on his dick, trying to line himself up to Frank. How much they had stalled made Frank nervous, now he was mostly a mess; if someone so much as knocked on the door, they wouldn’t be able to break apart quick enough without fumbling like crazy, unless Gerard was to just stand up and fling Frank out the window.
Frank asked, “You’re not gonna fling me out the window are you?” Which made Gerard laugh, but the movement had him pushing into Frank a little faster than what he had meant, so it turned into a hushed and drawn-out moan.
Frank closed his eyes, buried his face in the crook of Gerard’s neck and pressed down some more. Gerard smelt like candy and cigarettes, and the collar of his dress shirt was cool against Frank’s flushed cheek. His legs already felt mostly dead, but the muscles in his back started to relax as he lowered himself further.
“Okay?”
“Mm.”
Actually, it was hurting quite a lot, but…
Frank pushed down once more and he was in Gerard’s lap. Gerard did bite at his lip, his head back, neck exposed, and Frank leaned forward, pressed his mouth to the side of Gerard’s, slowly lifted again, then, back down.
“Fuck,” he mumbled, his breath hitching a little.
Gerard dragged his hand up Frank’s side, twisted his finger’s in his hair, and pushed him down even more with his other hand a top Frank’s thigh. Frank just kept moving, both of them unable to concentrate hard enough to find one another’s mouth to kiss properly, and they were quiet, or, as quiet as they could be, but Gerard kept repeating, ‘shh shh’ all choppily and breathless, and Frank had to bite down on Gerard’s shoulder because he could feel it already, and his dick was pressed up hard against Gerard’s stomach, making it come on even quicker.
Frank was so sweaty. He could feel Gerard’s fingers sticky on his back, and his hair, clinging to his forehead and he was so close his legs started to shake.
Gerard was muttering curses against Frank’s collarbone, licking and kissing every now and then, until his body tightened and he dug in fingers around Frank’s hips, and Frank pressed his mouth to Gerard’s to keep them both quiet, because if they weren’t risking anything, Frank would be swearing rather dramatically into the sky right now.
Frank remained relaxed against Gerard for a while, both of them just breathing heavily, and Frank already felt sleepy. He wondered, since he knew he could be leaving within a few weeks, how exactly he and Gerard we’re planning on managing anyway if he were to stay for months like he was supposed to. Were they just going to sneak around the whole time? Kiss behind closed doors, and pretend they hardly knew each other in front of everyone else?
“My legs are dead,” Gerard said, kissing Frank’s cheek and brushing the hair from his eyes.
“Same.”
“Can you get up?”
Frank nodded, lifted up, and untangled himself. His entire body felt heavy and weak, like his bones were jelly, and muscles were clay. Gerard peeled off the condom, tossed it in the trashcan, and bent down to grab his pants.
“I think we’re over our time,” Gerard said with a dorky grin.
Frank glanced at the clock, and shrugged whilst doing his jeans up. “Hey,” he started, then waved a hand after a quick thought, deciding against it, then, deciding against that, looked at Gerard’s very confused face, and said, “What are we going to do?”
Gerard shook his head a little, still looking confused. “What’d you mean?”
Frank shrugged. “When I go. If I go.”
“Frankie.” Gerard smiled, then laughed. He pulled Frank closer to him, threading their fingers together, and tugging him down a little. “You come live with me.”
Umm, was all Frank thought, so it was quite impossible for him to speak. Okay? Maybe would have been appropriate. But, did he want to live with Gerard. That was a stupid question. Of course he fucking did. Frank laughed, then, huffed, like he couldn’t quite get it out. “Fuck,” he said, and, “Fuck,” again.
“If you want to,” Gerard said, and wrapped his hands around Frank’s hips before making a kissy face.
Frank felt like bursting into a million love heart sequins to tell Gerard just how much yes yes yes, but he jolted a little at the dreadful sound of the door clicking open, and another voice filling the room, then, stopping instantly. Too shocked in his skin to move away from Gerard, Frank looked over and saw Nick standing in the doorway, seemingly disgusted.
Frank thought he was having a movie moment in which the camera zoomed in to the expression that told most of the story. Gerard.
Gerard’s arms were still wrapped around Frank. Frank didn’t even have his fucking shirt back on yet, and he finally stepped back, staring straight at Nick, who still hadn’t said another word. Frank wished he could just fall into a black hole.
They all just looked at one another for what felt like for-fucking-ever, and Nick appeared to be a statue, unmoving, unreadable, and when he did speak, Frank didn’t really know how to take it.
“Not fucking cool, man,” he scrunched his face, shook his head a bit, and started to back up out of the room. He said it once more, “Not fucking cool.”
When the door was closed again, Frank looked over at Gerard, but Gerard didn’t look up.
***
OH NOES!
CLICK HERE 4 MR. WAY'S OFFICE. OMG.
Chapter 23