Sincerely Yours (10a/?)
anonymous
June 12 2012, 02:01:38 UTC
The closet's not happy today. It's been hissing, and beneath it the shadows gossip-- all hateful comments and vile words. They know what he's up to, conspire to stop it. He touches the handle, lets the acid corrode his fingertips, driving away any nerve he's mustered. Inch by inch his reasonable bones pry the door open, and when he's got enough faith to look, his eyes peek open, one after the other. The closet's clever, draws him in with sweet innocence so that his head dares cross the threshold. That's when it strikes
( ... )
Sincerely Yours (10b/?)
anonymous
June 12 2012, 02:04:13 UTC
He's not pausing to remember the occasion he wore them for, although the days flit by anyway, and in his haste, he nearly makes a mistake. He saves it moments before the embers start their feast, close to being a sacrifice himself. The dress-- a sexy little mermaid number, risky with color-- isn't his. It's hers. The real deal. No replica, no sister, no other. She's worn it twice out, with many more sessions supposedly free from all other eyes. It's survived every donation haul. It's material, but carries a thousand sentimental diamonds. He doesn't remember why-- but he could ask and she would tell-- only that it was a gift from Dad. It hasn't touched his own skin, and he didn't steal it. He rescued it from the garbage, because she couldn't have meant to throw it there. He's keeping it safe for her
( ... )
Sincerely Yours (10c/?)
anonymous
June 12 2012, 02:05:37 UTC
The radio's singing jazz, but no one's there to listen. Souji's buried beneath a rash of irrationality, working to claw his way out. The scenery isn't helping. He's positive, at least ninety-eight... ninety-four percent, they won't stop in this area. Only if they need something. Like gas. Wide, partially gray eyes swivel toward the meter, confirming that scenario won't happen any time soon. They return to the window, more calm knowing that. The dry, sandy fields are like what she described ages ago-- barren, not counting the critters waiting to feast on smooth little boy flesh. She would leave him alone out there, driving as if she couldn't get away fasts enough. Die in a place he doesn't know the name of-- she coined that to be the best part
( ... )
Sincerely Yours (10d/?)
anonymous
June 12 2012, 02:11:26 UTC
"Souji?"
But he's not ready to break yet. "I'm not going."
"Why's that?"
It burns his throat to say this, and freezes the blood in his veins to do so looking Dojima in the face. But, he needs to stand this ground. "We're not on the best of terms right now, so--"
"A real reason."
"That is..." Souji stops himself, put off by the man's annoyed sigh.
"Give me a break," he mutters to the ground. There's not a fraction of happiness along his countenance traveling back up the stairs. "A month ago, you were in tears--" Souji flinches. "--you missed them so badly. Five minutes ago, we couldn't get here fast enough. Now, you don't want to go at all?" He stops at the edge of the landing. "Work harder on your jokes, Souji. I'm waiting for the punchline
( ... )
Re: Sincerely Yours (10e/?)
anonymous
June 12 2012, 02:13:57 UTC
"It didn't stop there. She confessed to something else. I found it very peculiar."
"What...might that be?" There's a tingling near the base of his skull, offering escape. He doesn't have to hear this. Shouldn't. He could switch now, accept the blindfold, embrace the headphones that sing him to sleep.
"When's the last time you two spoke?"
It's tempting, forgetting whatever trauma implants itself next. "You know." He declines this offer, for once.
"I'm asking. I want to hear it from you."
I want to hear you lie. That's what he means. Again, the tingling. Again, he refuses. It's dangerous, yes. He can almost see the scythe and skeletal face waiting for him. But he can't let his familiar self, however clever and powerful and confident, shield him again. He can't
( ... )
Sincerely Yours (10g/?)
anonymous
June 12 2012, 02:16:00 UTC
There's a nagging in his psyche that's steadily grown louder all night. It begs him to evaluate the commitment he made not so long ago-- take another look around. He argues back-- he's done a good job, cleaned out his closet. Isn't that enough? This isn't the same, not a trashy placebo. This cannot be a sacrifice. It would make things insufferable. Just this one, that's all he needs. There's nothing wrong with that.
But what can he do? Nothing to bribe with. No feasible threats. No logic to employ. Time has no patience. Maybe he won't do anything. Dojima can read the letters, no he can't, and afterward he'll let Souji. And he can reply, or Dojima can, with careful questions to find out, like always. A monitored exchange, staged and invaded by persons not meant to see. Or, they'll arrive and Souji won't touch a thing because it's the wrong impression of Mom and DadHe wouldn't survive either
( ... )
Sincerely Yours (10h/?)
anonymous
June 12 2012, 02:17:06 UTC
"Stop!" He's not entitled to this. It's low, despicable, and maybe he should be condemned. "Stop!" But he caves, holding nothing in his hands to lose. "Please, just..." Even knowing he deserves the cold shoulder, it's not enough to convince him this outcome is alright. "Let me finish
( ... )
Sincerely Yours (10i/?)
anonymous
June 12 2012, 02:17:49 UTC
He's stalling by not opening the door immediately. He fingers the text, and spares a second, a minute, for gratitude. Grateful because no matter who writes them, they're still personal, and he breathes easier without another pair of pupils over his shoulder. Yet, that's not the best part. He's far more thankful to hear the underlying trust given once more. With peace of mind, he dazedly pops the door to a region he's come to consider a safe haven-- all bad memories shoved out a window. Normally, mail from home wouldn't be grouped with those. But today's different.
He feels locked inside, squaring off against a box, but what is he to do? The gift does nothing to entice him, its unique flavor soured just nights before. It sits, lonely because his hands don't ravish its blind surface. He doesn't have the nerve to touch it. Nor does he want to lay hands on it for any kind action. Souji wonders if his mother felt this way, staring at him, something she crafted and sickened by the fact. A truth they can't deny; something so pathetic came
( ... )
Sincerely Yours (10j/?)
anonymous
June 12 2012, 02:18:46 UTC
Dear Souji,
It's happened again. We heard a suspicious noise before leaving for work today. Turns out it was just a cat. Then your father disappeared during lunch and never returned. I thought he got pulled to work on another project, but when I got home, guess where he was? Sitting outside playing with the cat brigade. I finally dragged him in, but he hasn't stopped sneezing. What should we do with him? I vote auctioning.
Ah. Right. He's fairly certain his father isn't allergic to cats, but it's a nicer reason than the one he was given for leaving behind Cat Burger. If this were to be her way to make amends, Souji would feel open to apologizing too.
How do you like the presents? When I found these in the window, I envisioned you wearing them much better than the mannequin. I hope you didn't already buy something yourself. Then again, it wouldn't matter, would it? These can be your favorite! Your father's sending a coat soon, so be on the lookout for that! I can't be there to keep you warm personally, but maybe these'll do the
( ... )
Sincerely Yours (10k/?)
anonymous
June 12 2012, 02:19:46 UTC
It's OK if you don't want to make like bunnies, but this youth won't last forever. There are things I expect from you, but I still want you to have fun. Don't get so tied up in my wants that yours become phantom energies.
My life _____ | _____ Your life.
Understand? It gives me chills when you put your foot down. I can't promise you'll always get your way, but show that moxie! Just what he wanted her to say. Maybe what she's been trying to say too. If he pages through a mental photo album and compares instances of her utmost satisfaction and disappointment, are they really so disjointed? Could she have grinned if he didn't throw in the towel so often? Would she have ignored him and gone about her day if he hadn't found a loophole in her plan? He'll find out, if given another chance.
I trust you to make good decisions. Of course, being human we can't always do that, which is my undercover reason for probing. I wanted to see if you could still depend on me. At times, you'll get in over your head, but don't be too resentful or scared
( ... )
Sincerely Yours (10l/?)
anonymous
June 12 2012, 02:20:45 UTC
Mom, it's okay. I'm sorry too. I shouldn't have screamed you chased him away. I'm sure he liked me too. I don't think it was anyone's fault he ran away. Cat Burger's gotta be a drifter, right? Like us. Thanks for helping me look for him. Saying goodbye made it easier. Oh, and I don't think you should auction Dad. We wouldn't get much. Let's just sit him in time-out.
I'm trying to earn forgiveness right now. I couldn't live with the punishment alone. I think a little of both is best to move on with. I don't know what you did, but if you're sorry, you've taken one step forward already. I hate seeing you so hard on yourself. Please? Even if you have regrets, aren't there some things you always want to remember?
You're going to worry me. Get your thoughts out of the dark, Mom. If it's too much for me to handle alone, I'll tell you. Nothing's going to change that.
And don't try to scare me. I proudly accept my role as your little star. Stand by watching. One day, you'll be amazed. When that happens, he hopes she'll crown him with the
( ... )
Re: Sincerely Yours (10l/?)
anonymous
August 23 2012, 05:39:46 UTC
In looooove with this fic I love how you write Souji its so ansty and perfect and im really curious to see how you end it too I hope you follow it through to the end
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But he's not ready to break yet. "I'm not going."
"Why's that?"
It burns his throat to say this, and freezes the blood in his veins to do so looking Dojima in the face. But, he needs to stand this ground. "We're not on the best of terms right now, so--"
"A real reason."
"That is..." Souji stops himself, put off by the man's annoyed sigh.
"Give me a break," he mutters to the ground. There's not a fraction of happiness along his countenance traveling back up the stairs. "A month ago, you were in tears--" Souji flinches. "--you missed them so badly. Five minutes ago, we couldn't get here fast enough. Now, you don't want to go at all?" He stops at the edge of the landing. "Work harder on your jokes, Souji. I'm waiting for the punchline ( ... )
Reply
"What...might that be?" There's a tingling near the base of his skull, offering escape. He doesn't have to hear this. Shouldn't. He could switch now, accept the blindfold, embrace the headphones that sing him to sleep.
"When's the last time you two spoke?"
It's tempting, forgetting whatever trauma implants itself next. "You know." He declines this offer, for once.
"I'm asking. I want to hear it from you."
I want to hear you lie. That's what he means. Again, the tingling. Again, he refuses. It's dangerous, yes. He can almost see the scythe and skeletal face waiting for him. But he can't let his familiar self, however clever and powerful and confident, shield him again. He can't ( ... )
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But what can he do? Nothing to bribe with. No feasible threats. No logic to employ. Time has no patience. Maybe he won't do anything. Dojima can read the letters, no he can't, and afterward he'll let Souji. And he can reply, or Dojima can, with careful questions to find out, like always. A monitored exchange, staged and invaded by persons not meant to see. Or, they'll arrive and Souji won't touch a thing because it's the wrong impression of Mom and DadHe wouldn't survive either ( ... )
Reply
Reply
He feels locked inside, squaring off against a box, but what is he to do? The gift does nothing to entice him, its unique flavor soured just nights before. It sits, lonely because his hands don't ravish its blind surface. He doesn't have the nerve to touch it. Nor does he want to lay hands on it for any kind action. Souji wonders if his mother felt this way, staring at him, something she crafted and sickened by the fact. A truth they can't deny; something so pathetic came ( ... )
Reply
It's happened again. We heard a suspicious noise before leaving for work today. Turns out it was just a cat. Then your father disappeared during lunch and never returned. I thought he got pulled to work on another project, but when I got home, guess where he was? Sitting outside playing with the cat brigade. I finally dragged him in, but he hasn't stopped sneezing. What should we do with him? I vote auctioning.
Ah. Right. He's fairly certain his father isn't allergic to cats, but it's a nicer reason than the one he was given for leaving behind Cat Burger. If this were to be her way to make amends, Souji would feel open to apologizing too.
How do you like the presents? When I found these in the window, I envisioned you wearing them much better than the mannequin. I hope you didn't already buy something yourself. Then again, it wouldn't matter, would it? These can be your favorite! Your father's sending a coat soon, so be on the lookout for that! I can't be there to keep you warm personally, but maybe these'll do the ( ... )
Reply
My life _____ | _____ Your life.
Understand? It gives me chills when you put your foot down. I can't promise you'll always get your way, but show that moxie! Just what he wanted her to say. Maybe what she's been trying to say too. If he pages through a mental photo album and compares instances of her utmost satisfaction and disappointment, are they really so disjointed? Could she have grinned if he didn't throw in the towel so often? Would she have ignored him and gone about her day if he hadn't found a loophole in her plan? He'll find out, if given another chance.
I trust you to make good decisions. Of course, being human we can't always do that, which is my undercover reason for probing. I wanted to see if you could still depend on me. At times, you'll get in over your head, but don't be too resentful or scared ( ... )
Reply
I'm trying to earn forgiveness right now. I couldn't live with the punishment alone. I think a little of both is best to move on with. I don't know what you did, but if you're sorry, you've taken one step forward already. I hate seeing you so hard on yourself. Please? Even if you have regrets, aren't there some things you always want to remember?
You're going to worry me. Get your thoughts out of the dark, Mom. If it's too much for me to handle alone, I'll tell you. Nothing's going to change that.
And don't try to scare me. I proudly accept my role as your little star. Stand by watching. One day, you'll be amazed. When that happens, he hopes she'll crown him with the ( ... )
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archiveofourown[dot]org/works/956188/chapters/1871397
I'd like to pick this up again soon. The remaining chapters will be hosted on ao3, but I'll link to them here as well.
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