I’m Nobody Else’s (But Yours)
Author: ANONYMOUS
Prompt #: 2
Title: I’m Nobody Else’s (But Yours)
Word Count: 4,030
Side Pairing(s): None
Rating: PG-13
Warning(s): None
Disclaimer: The celebrities' names/images are merely borrowed and do not represent who the celebrities are in real life. No offense is intended towards them, their families or friends. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. No money is being made from this fictional work. No copyright infringement is intended.
Summary: There’s a saying that goes, you will never see yourself the way the person who loves you sees you. Baekhyun has to agree with that.
Author's Note: I’m 90% sure this isn’t what prompter is expecting and I think I have completely ruined things and for that, I apologize. You can scream at me, it’s okay. Also tons of thanks to j and i for pushing me to do this (last minute!!) after not being in the loop for so long. I’ll do better next time.
There’s always this one thing that keeps on bugging Baekhyun the moment they officially became an item.
“I’d appreciate if we can keep this to ourselves first?” was what Chanyeol had said after they shared their first kiss.
Not that Baekhyun had to worry about it. Not until his friends kept on asking him about this handsome young man who drives his blizzard pearl Camry for him.
The first time his friend and colleague, Kyungsoo, called him out saying, is Chanyeol really just your personal driver?, he opted to ignore the word just and nodded. Obviously, Kyungsoo didn’t believe him one bit but he didn’t try to probe him either (Baekhyun didn’t explain himself, too). Kyungsoo asked about Chanyeol from time to time, and then his other friends joined in.
One day he’s set to kiss Chanyeol in front of their eyes to see. That will shut them up, hopefully.
Really, Baekhyun feels a headache coming. He just came from a three-hour long meeting with the corporate marketing team so he figured the invitation from his colleagues to take a well deserved breather in a coffee shop a couple of blocks from their office was something he could deal with. In retrospect, it must have been a mistake.
He adjusts himself from his seat, butt still quite numb from being seated for hours, as the team discussed sales and marketing plans for the second quarter of the year. Although everything has already been laid out during their lengthy planning sessions in the third quarter of the previous year, the separate discussion for the execution is another thing. Baekhyun really needed a quick break, something to talk about that isn’t work-related, but he’s not quite sure if he appreciates his sorry excuse of friends disguised as professional colleagues prodding him about things he thinks that do not concern them at all. Things like... say, his personal driver. Which is also his boyfriend.
“What about him?” Baekhyun asks, voice feigning nonchalance and he really wished he didn’t come off annoyed.
Jongdae, on his side, grins like a cheshire cat. “What was his name again? Chanseol, is it?”
“It’s Chanyeol.” Baekhyun feels like he answered too fast and too defensive, but why should he be defensive? It’s not a big deal.
Park Chanyeol has been his personal driver for almost a year now. His family actually knew him way before Chanyeol had worked for him as a personal driver. Only a few months older, it isn’t quite awkward when they are left together. Baekhyun also insisted for them to call each other by their first names when they first met years ago, and when Chanyeol gladly took the job, it didn’t change what they had before. He’d rather be called by his name than have Chanyeol call sir all the time. Although in other circumstances, that might be appealing at some point.
Chanyeol has long taken the interest of Baekhyun’s friends. They’ve always, always get to bring him into any topic they talk about and Baekhyun fears that the next thing they’ll ask from him is to get Chanyeol to join them sometime-which is something not entirely a bad idea... but then again, it might be, judging from the teasing looks he’s getting from Jongdae and Kyungsoo.
Baekhyun sighs into the the hot cup of americano he’s holding, “Look, guys, what do you want?”
The heat of the coffee cup seeps into his palm, he forgot to tell the barista to make his coffee just warm. He hates it when it’s too hot, he can’t take it.
Jongdae shrugs and Kyungsoo says nothing, only to lean against the side of the single couch. “Nothing, you know, we just want to know more of this guy who knows what kind of coffee should you order than yourself.” Sehun, their digital accounts executive, who’s awfully quiet on the far end of the table, snickers, but immediately shut his mouth when Baekhyun threw invisible daggers at him. Baekhyun couldn’t even take a single sip of his coffee, of course they knew he didn’t specify his order. Something Chanyeol wouldn’t miss.
His colleagues never really forgot about that day when Chanyeol went up to their floor to deliver him a large cup of coffee. He had been running late that day so he asked Chanyeol if he could just bring the order up to his office.
“Why do you care so much?” Baekhyun reaches Sehun’s leg under the table just to give him a quick kick because the kid really couldn’t stop snickering.
Kyungsoo puts down his drink before saying, “Baek, come on. We all know Chanyeol’s actual job is him being your boyfriend. What’s there to hide?”
A job. Being his boyfriend isn’t a job. Baekhyun’s hold on his cup tightens before promptly defending himself by saying, “I’m not hiding it. I just don’t want to deal with all your teasing and please, I don’t know how you found out about this but being him being my boyfriend is not a job!”
Jongdae’s laugh that followed his sudden pathetically cute outburst is half amusing and insulting. “You really want to know how we found out? Well, let’s just say we saw you casually lip-locking under the heat of the sun one fine Saturday morn-”
“Jongdae, stop,” Kyungsoo interjects before Jongdae could go all out. It’s hard to stop him whenever he’s set to do something, and right now, the only goal Jongdae had in mind is to make Baekhyun go all flustered at the mention of his personal driver slash boyfriend. “Nevermind how we found out. We just know that he is indeed your boyfriend. We support you in whatever you want to do with your life, Baek.”
“Why do you sound like my mom? Look, I don’t hide the fact that he’s my boyfriend okay?” Truth be told, Baekhyun actually wanted to show the world that Chanyeol is his boyfriend. Who wouldn’t be proud? He’s hardworking, handsome, sexy… and all the good things he could ever found in someone. It’s just that Chanyeol… Chanyeol isn’t quite comfortable with the idea of him shouting their relationship status to the world. “Chanyeol doesn’t want others to know,” he says in almost like a whisper.
Jongdae stops grinning. Sehun is back to his normal bitch face and Kyungsoo tries to hold back a sigh, but fails. “Baekhyun…”
“Should we go back to the office?” Baekhyun thinks of the campaign they are about to roll out next week. Everything else to keep him from thinking about things that give a trickling pain in his gut.
“Park the car, come in for a while.”
It isn’t really a rare occurrence for Chanyeol to stay in Baekhyun’s house after work. They’re boyfriends, after all. What’s puzzling for Baekhyun is how they are not living together yet. He had already asked Chanyeol to move in with him countless times but Chanyeol would decline every single time, saying that the way things are at the moment is enough.
Chanyeol makes himself comfortable in the dining area and Baekhyun offers him a drink, along with a pitcher full of cold water.
“Thanks, Baek,” he gulps it down and almost spit the water before it could even go down his throat when Baekhyun wraps his arms around his neck from the back, resting his chin on Chanyeol’s head. They stay in that position for a while, Baekhyun swaying his head while humming a familiar song Chanyeol couldn’t pinpoint where he had heard of. He holds Baekhyun’s hands, intertwining their fingers and he couldn’t help but marvel on the how beautiful Baekhyun’s fingers are. They’re like rare expensive slender candles, perfect from the knuckles down to the fingertips.
“Hey, Chanyeol?”
“Yeah?”
“How about I move in to your place?”
Chanyeol slowly turns his head to face Baekhyun and the latter moves his face a few inches backwards. “Are you sure you want to trade this spacious flat to moving into mine? What does my place have that this place is lacking?”
Baekhyun crunches his face before saying, “You?”
Chanyeol’s laugh which follows sounds so deep as usual and Baekhyun wonders if Chanyeol knows it’s something he wants to hear until the end of forever.
“Stay the night?” Baekhyun whispers into Chanyeol’s ear, something Baekhyun does all the time and the question always sounds the same- the tone, the volume, the warm breath. Chanyeol can never say no to this. Not anytime soon.
The actual downside of having Park Chanyeol as a boyfriend doesn’t exist at all. Which isn’t true because the real downside of it all is Chanyeol not wanting to make their relationship public, something that Baekhyun doesn’t understand at all. It’s not like he cares that Chanyeol is his personal driver, something that Chanyeol reasons exactly because he is just his driver.
Chanyeol and Baekhyun had their lips shut as they drive quietly to Baekhyun’s office at 6:40 a.m. Apart from Why Georgia playing in the background, it really is too quiet for Baekhyun to take.
Baekhyun huffs before starting, “Hey, you know this new restaurant in Wednesday Av? Jongdae said their menu is to die for. I want to try it out.”
Chanyeol turns to him and he’s smiling. Sometimes, Baekhyun is still left wondering how he can still breathe after Chanyeol returns his gaze to the road. “Yeah? Sure, just let me know when you want to go with them.”
“With them?”
“Yeah,” Chanyeol turns the wheels to the right before continuing, “You know, Jongdae, Kyungsoo and the serious-looking kid.”
Baekhyun feels his cheeks getting warmer and his hands curls on the fabric of his pants. Suddenly it’s too humid, in the car. He’s not sure if Chanyeol realizes the implications of what he’s saying, but either way, it pisses Baekhyun off.
“Do you realize that I’m saying this to you because I want to go with youyou’re such an idiot sentence goes unsaid.
Another stop light and Chanyeol shuts his eyes tight, a soft sigh escaping his lips. “Baekhyun…” he starts and slowly reaches out to Baekhyun’s curled fist. Baekhyun withdraws his hand from Chanyeol’s hold. He can’t let him be swayed from Chanyeol’s pending sweet talking, he’s had enough of Chanyeol taking two steps backward from him every single time he makes a step forward.
The rest of the ride is spent in tensed silence and Baekhyun is quite surprised with himself for not lashing out. By the time they reach the office, Baekhyun doesn't give Chanyeol the usual bye, drive safely kiss, and the only thing he has managed to say is ‘don’t pick me up later’ before shutting the passenger door close.
Chanyeol’s hand involuntarily reaches out to where Baekhyun was just a few seconds ago. He’s never heard Baekhyun sound so cold before. The car seat is still warm.
Chanyeol drives well. It’s actually one of the things he’s proud of, and something that Baekhyun always tease him about, which started when he first drove Baekhyun home in manual, to which he commented out of the blue-It isn’t until today that I realize a person can look so hot driving manual. Chanyeol can only smile at the memory, Baekhyun can be so shameless and random at the same time.
He stays rooted on the driver’s seat, hands on the wheel. When he quit college to start working full-time, he knew he had to park his dreams maybe for a while. And then comes Baekhyun, the actual ray of sunshine in his life.
Sometimes, he wonders if the light he emits makes the things Chanyeol wants to hide show, but he loves Baekhyun dearly, that isn’t even a question. He shuts his eyes tight, knowing how he fucked up. Maybe for real this time, and he couldn’t help but think that maybe it’s for the best.
Maybe it isn’t his place to be beside someone like Baekhyun.
The clock hits 9 p.m. when Baekhyun notices Kyungsoo passing by his station. He’s too preoccupied revising the presmat for the upcoming execomm meeting in two days, although it’s not really something he should be doing since the material is already perfect as it is. “Aren’t you going home yet?
Baekhyun doesn’t bother turning his head to Kyungsoo when he says later. He really had been in a bad mood all throughout the day and he admits he’s been a little jerk to almost everything he has come in contact with in the office.
“Would you like to join me and Jongin for dinner?” Kyungsoo tries, and Baekhyun should really give him plus points for even trying, but he shakes his head still. It isn’t long before Kyungsoo bids him goodbye for the night.
He glances at his phone beside his laptop. Seven unread messages, two from his mom, one from his brother and four from his college friends who have been bugging him to join their mini-reunion in the coming weekend. He had been wanting to attend, really. He had planned to ask Chanyeol to come with him but after what happened that morning, the chances of him joining the get together would be close to zero.
He checks his inbox again just to confirm the people who have sent him messages he haven’t read yet since noon, and alas, not even one came from his boyfriend. No Chanyeol. Nada. He drops his phone on the table rather forcefully, making the notepads he had placed nearby his laptop move slightly by the impact.
The nerve of Park Chanyeol not to send him at least a short message since that morning. Baekhyun hurriedly packs his things in annoyance, suddenly losing the will to continue working on the presmat.
There isn’t even a single star in the sky, Baekhyun notices the moment he leaves the building. It’s unusually too dark that night and the car park in front is almost empty. The lot is weirdly sad to look at when it’s not filled with cars of different models and colors, more so without the blizzard pearl Camry he’s been so used to see day and night. Truth be told, he half-expected Chanyeol to show up, even if he specifically told him that morning not to pick him up.
Is this what it is? He couldn’t help but ask himself. Is their relationship really this shallow? What else can he do to meet with what Chanyeol expects of what they have right now? Baekhyun doesn’t want to give up just like that.
“This is driving me insane,” he grumbles, running his hand through his hair before heading to the main road to flag a cab, He can easily ask someone to pick him up, but he has other plans.
There’s only one place he needs to go to.
Chanyeol turns his head from the heated action drama he’s watching on the television when he heard his apartment door opened. He sees Baekhyun standing near the front door before he can even stand from the worn out sofa.
“Baek? What are you-”
Baekhyun launches forward and kisses Chanyeol straight in the lips before he could even finish. He’s extremely frustrated and he thinks if he hears Chanyeol mention about what happened that morning, he’d really go insane. He promptly wraps his arms around Chanyeol’s neck and it feels so good being pressed to Chanyeol’s body like this, the heat permeating from the thin material of Chanyeol’s shirt to the long-sleeved polo he’s wearing.
Chanyeol can’t say he’s surprised by the sudden action since Baekhyun usually does this oftentimes, so it didn’t take him long to open his mouth and let their tongue slide against the other. Baekhyun pulls after a short while to catch his breath and Chanyeol takes the opportunity to talk. “Baek, come on, let’s talk-”
He isn’t given a time to react because Baekhyun kissed him hard before saying, “Later we can talk. Bed, now.”
In bed, Baekhyun doesn’t like wearing anything apart from his boxers. This time around, he chooses to wear Chanyeol’s shirt, it’s almost twice his size but it smells so much like Chanyeol he could fall asleep any second now. He also had to note how that was probably the longest (angry, well, one-sided) makeup sex he’s had with Chanyeol ever since they got together.
Chanyeol sees him dozing off, head against his arm and he brushes off Baekhyun’s fringe from his eyes. “Hey, don’t fall asleep yet. We have to talk, remember?”
Baekhyun could only roll his eyes and proceeds to pinch Chanyeol’s side. Way to ruin the serene post-coital moment. “You really just have to ruin everything, huh?” Chanyeol nurses the patch of skin still warm from the hard pinch from his boyfriend’s pretty fingers.
“But we really need to have this talk,” Chanyeol says and Baekhyun nods, urging him to continue.
“Byun Baekhyun… you’re beautiful. You come from a wealthy family, but you never used what your family had to be where you are right now. You are good in what you do because you are hardworking and passionate. You’re someone other people would kill to have in their life and I’m just… let’s face it, I’m just your personal driver.” Baekhyun listens intently, but now he’s just confused.
Chanyeol continues, “someone who probably can’t catch up to where you are right now. The longer we do this, the more I think about how you deserve someone better.”
He waits for a response and it takes a full ten seconds before Baekhyun could say anything. “Are you breaking with me?” What the hell, Baekhyun thinks. His mind going blank after what Chanyeol had said. Did they just have breakup sex? Now he’s gone from confused to plain annoyed. The last thing Chanyeol said kind of makes his blood boil and now he’s sure he’s fully awake.
“But you’re right, Chanyeol. Who are you, really?” Baekhyun doesn’t miss the sad ‘I know’ look that flashes on Chanyeol’s eyes. Baekhyun sighs.
Baekhyun pulls himself up from Chanyeol’s single bed and it’s really narrow for two grown men but he doesn’t mind. This is what dumb Chanyeol misses to see, this is what he doesn’t seem to understand.
Chanyeol is sure Baekhyun would see himself out of his tiny apartment, and maybe out of his life too. He readied himself for this, he convinces himself.
“Don’t misunderstand. Who are you to tell me I deserve someone better?”
Chanyeol is taken aback. He surely didn’t expect to hear this. He’s half guessed Baekhyun to be bidding him goodbye now because he assumes he’s practically fired now, but he’s still there on his bed, looking beautiful in his shirt and he’d really like to treasure this sight.
Baekhyun takes a deep breath before facing Chanyeol. He’s probably going to sound incoherent but he needs to instill things to Chanyeol’s mind, or else he’ll walk out the place with the need to find a new driver and a new boyfriend.
“Chanyeol, first of all, I need to confirm one thing. Tell me the truth, if you say yes, we’ll have to sit things out. If you say no, I’ll… I’ll go, and you’ll never see me again.” Baekhyun scoffs at himself mentally. How can he ever leave, really? But he has to face this thing that consumes Chanyeol and their relationship.
“Do you love me?”
Chanyeol stares at him. “Yes… I do.”
“Great,” Baekhyun says casually (more of feeling extremely relieved), not realizing he had been holding his breath for a few seconds, waiting for Chanyeol’s answer. “Because I love you, too. Just so you know. I really do.” And Baekhyun means it.
Baekhyun hopes it’s enough but seeing how confused Chanyeol looks which makes him want to shower his face with kisses, he knows he has to say something more.
“Remember the first time we met? We were just 18 back then. I’m not even sure if you remember that, but that was when I knew I had to be close to you.”
“And then when we finally became friends and you once took me to the pet shop you were working at back then, I saw more of you… of how good you are with animals, how much care you have for them, how you are the happiest just seeing them healthy and playing with each other. When we dropped by an orphanage filled with abandoned infants, and how you handled them well, sparing them time from work. You were such a natural that I knew you’d be a wonderful father one day. I knew back then that I need to keep you.”
Chanyeol couldn’t breathe. He gulps to relieve the dryness in his throat.
“And then there’s the time during my celebratory graduation dinner. You congratulated and gave me a hug. Did you realize how I struggled to breathe during that time? I bet you didn’t. I knew back then I was falling so fast.”
Baekhyun moves to cradle Chanyeol’s cheeks in his hands. “Chanyeol, the day you told me you’re going to quit college because your sister’s schooling is the priority, I cried myself to sleep because why must you be the one to go through that? But then I realized that was just partly the reason why I cried. I cried because I realized I wasn’t falling for you any longer. It dawned to me how I have already fallen so deep.”
Stunned-that is how Chanyeol is feeling at the moment. Everything that comes out Baekhyun’s mouth feels so foreign for him. Even after being together for a little over a year, he didn’t realize a confession like that would feel so… overwhelming.
From confused to annoyed to wanting to cry, Baekhyun is in for a rollercoaster ride, he guessed. He just couldn’t afford to end things like this. He couldn’t afford to end things at all. “Chanyeol, I’m not sure up to what extent this… whatever this is that’s eating you. But no matter how hard it is, no matter how frustrating it can be for you, always be reminded that I love you. I love all the little things that you don’t see in yourself. You don’t have to. Let me look at them for you, let me remind you how I love Park Chanyeol just the way he is right now.”
Baekhyun doesn’t even realize he’s crying until Chanyeol brings a hand to wipe his stained cheeks. He envelopes Chanyeol’s hand in place. “Let’s do this together, yeah? Don’t push me away.”
Chanyeol pulls him closer and he cries softly against his shoulder. It feels good to let those all out, and the warmth of Chanyeol’s body is what he perfectly needs right now. He whispers soft, I love yous to Baekhyun’s ears as his embrace gets tighter. He couldn’t believe he even thought of letting Byun Baekhyun go. Way to feel like the number one idiot on planet earth.
A few moments later and Chanyeol being Chanyeol, tries to lighten the mood. “So… does that mean you’re not firing me?”
Baekhyun sniffs one last time before kissing him hard. “You wish.”
Chanyeol drives Baekhyun to the office the morning after, and when Baekhyun kisses him goodbye, his gaze lingers on the back of the man he loves. It dawns to him that he isn’t supposed to get consumed with the things he’s not entirely proud when he’s with Baekhyun. He’s supposed to bask on the light and joy that Baekhyun gives.
Tonight, he’ll pick up Baekhyun at seven and they’ll have dinner in his tiny apartment, watching reruns of their favorite drama on his worn out couch.
There’s nothing to hide anymore, but he figures nobody really needs to know either how they kiss on the couch, legs tangled with the drama on the television forgotten.
(Baekhyun really did get to kiss a flustered Chanyeol in front of his friends, and he peeked to the side only to see Jongdae making a face and mouthing you guys are gross. All worth it.)
Prompt #: 2
Title: I’m Nobody Else’s (But Yours)
Word Count: 4,030
Side Pairing(s): None
Rating: PG-13
Warning(s): None
Disclaimer: The celebrities' names/images are merely borrowed and do not represent who the celebrities are in real life. No offense is intended towards them, their families or friends. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. No money is being made from this fictional work. No copyright infringement is intended.
Summary: There’s a saying that goes, you will never see yourself the way the person who loves you sees you. Baekhyun has to agree with that.
Author's Note: I’m 90% sure this isn’t what prompter is expecting and I think I have completely ruined things and for that, I apologize. You can scream at me, it’s okay. Also tons of thanks to j and i for pushing me to do this (last minute!!) after not being in the loop for so long. I’ll do better next time.
There’s always this one thing that keeps on bugging Baekhyun the moment they officially became an item.
“I’d appreciate if we can keep this to ourselves first?” was what Chanyeol had said after they shared their first kiss.
Not that Baekhyun had to worry about it. Not until his friends kept on asking him about this handsome young man who drives his blizzard pearl Camry for him.
The first time his friend and colleague, Kyungsoo, called him out saying, is Chanyeol really just your personal driver?, he opted to ignore the word just and nodded. Obviously, Kyungsoo didn’t believe him one bit but he didn’t try to probe him either (Baekhyun didn’t explain himself, too). Kyungsoo asked about Chanyeol from time to time, and then his other friends joined in.
One day he’s set to kiss Chanyeol in front of their eyes to see. That will shut them up, hopefully.
Really, Baekhyun feels a headache coming. He just came from a three-hour long meeting with the corporate marketing team so he figured the invitation from his colleagues to take a well deserved breather in a coffee shop a couple of blocks from their office was something he could deal with. In retrospect, it must have been a mistake.
He adjusts himself from his seat, butt still quite numb from being seated for hours, as the team discussed sales and marketing plans for the second quarter of the year. Although everything has already been laid out during their lengthy planning sessions in the third quarter of the previous year, the separate discussion for the execution is another thing. Baekhyun really needed a quick break, something to talk about that isn’t work-related, but he’s not quite sure if he appreciates his sorry excuse of friends disguised as professional colleagues prodding him about things he thinks that do not concern them at all. Things like... say, his personal driver. Which is also his boyfriend.
“What about him?” Baekhyun asks, voice feigning nonchalance and he really wished he didn’t come off annoyed.
Jongdae, on his side, grins like a cheshire cat. “What was his name again? Chanseol, is it?”
“It’s Chanyeol.” Baekhyun feels like he answered too fast and too defensive, but why should he be defensive? It’s not a big deal.
Park Chanyeol has been his personal driver for almost a year now. His family actually knew him way before Chanyeol had worked for him as a personal driver. Only a few months older, it isn’t quite awkward when they are left together. Baekhyun also insisted for them to call each other by their first names when they first met years ago, and when Chanyeol gladly took the job, it didn’t change what they had before. He’d rather be called by his name than have Chanyeol call sir all the time. Although in other circumstances, that might be appealing at some point.
Chanyeol has long taken the interest of Baekhyun’s friends. They’ve always, always get to bring him into any topic they talk about and Baekhyun fears that the next thing they’ll ask from him is to get Chanyeol to join them sometime-which is something not entirely a bad idea... but then again, it might be, judging from the teasing looks he’s getting from Jongdae and Kyungsoo.
Baekhyun sighs into the the hot cup of americano he’s holding, “Look, guys, what do you want?”
The heat of the coffee cup seeps into his palm, he forgot to tell the barista to make his coffee just warm. He hates it when it’s too hot, he can’t take it.
Jongdae shrugs and Kyungsoo says nothing, only to lean against the side of the single couch. “Nothing, you know, we just want to know more of this guy who knows what kind of coffee should you order than yourself.” Sehun, their digital accounts executive, who’s awfully quiet on the far end of the table, snickers, but immediately shut his mouth when Baekhyun threw invisible daggers at him. Baekhyun couldn’t even take a single sip of his coffee, of course they knew he didn’t specify his order. Something Chanyeol wouldn’t miss.
His colleagues never really forgot about that day when Chanyeol went up to their floor to deliver him a large cup of coffee. He had been running late that day so he asked Chanyeol if he could just bring the order up to his office.
“Why do you care so much?” Baekhyun reaches Sehun’s leg under the table just to give him a quick kick because the kid really couldn’t stop snickering.
Kyungsoo puts down his drink before saying, “Baek, come on. We all know Chanyeol’s actual job is him being your boyfriend. What’s there to hide?”
A job. Being his boyfriend isn’t a job. Baekhyun’s hold on his cup tightens before promptly defending himself by saying, “I’m not hiding it. I just don’t want to deal with all your teasing and please, I don’t know how you found out about this but being him being my boyfriend is not a job!”
Jongdae’s laugh that followed his sudden pathetically cute outburst is half amusing and insulting. “You really want to know how we found out? Well, let’s just say we saw you casually lip-locking under the heat of the sun one fine Saturday morn-”
“Jongdae, stop,” Kyungsoo interjects before Jongdae could go all out. It’s hard to stop him whenever he’s set to do something, and right now, the only goal Jongdae had in mind is to make Baekhyun go all flustered at the mention of his personal driver slash boyfriend. “Nevermind how we found out. We just know that he is indeed your boyfriend. We support you in whatever you want to do with your life, Baek.”
“Why do you sound like my mom? Look, I don’t hide the fact that he’s my boyfriend okay?” Truth be told, Baekhyun actually wanted to show the world that Chanyeol is his boyfriend. Who wouldn’t be proud? He’s hardworking, handsome, sexy… and all the good things he could ever found in someone. It’s just that Chanyeol… Chanyeol isn’t quite comfortable with the idea of him shouting their relationship status to the world. “Chanyeol doesn’t want others to know,” he says in almost like a whisper.
Jongdae stops grinning. Sehun is back to his normal bitch face and Kyungsoo tries to hold back a sigh, but fails. “Baekhyun…”
“Should we go back to the office?” Baekhyun thinks of the campaign they are about to roll out next week. Everything else to keep him from thinking about things that give a trickling pain in his gut.
“Park the car, come in for a while.”
It isn’t really a rare occurrence for Chanyeol to stay in Baekhyun’s house after work. They’re boyfriends, after all. What’s puzzling for Baekhyun is how they are not living together yet. He had already asked Chanyeol to move in with him countless times but Chanyeol would decline every single time, saying that the way things are at the moment is enough.
Chanyeol makes himself comfortable in the dining area and Baekhyun offers him a drink, along with a pitcher full of cold water.
“Thanks, Baek,” he gulps it down and almost spit the water before it could even go down his throat when Baekhyun wraps his arms around his neck from the back, resting his chin on Chanyeol’s head. They stay in that position for a while, Baekhyun swaying his head while humming a familiar song Chanyeol couldn’t pinpoint where he had heard of. He holds Baekhyun’s hands, intertwining their fingers and he couldn’t help but marvel on the how beautiful Baekhyun’s fingers are. They’re like rare expensive slender candles, perfect from the knuckles down to the fingertips.
“Hey, Chanyeol?”
“Yeah?”
“How about I move in to your place?”
Chanyeol slowly turns his head to face Baekhyun and the latter moves his face a few inches backwards. “Are you sure you want to trade this spacious flat to moving into mine? What does my place have that this place is lacking?”
Baekhyun crunches his face before saying, “You?”
Chanyeol’s laugh which follows sounds so deep as usual and Baekhyun wonders if Chanyeol knows it’s something he wants to hear until the end of forever.
“Stay the night?” Baekhyun whispers into Chanyeol’s ear, something Baekhyun does all the time and the question always sounds the same- the tone, the volume, the warm breath. Chanyeol can never say no to this. Not anytime soon.
The actual downside of having Park Chanyeol as a boyfriend doesn’t exist at all. Which isn’t true because the real downside of it all is Chanyeol not wanting to make their relationship public, something that Baekhyun doesn’t understand at all. It’s not like he cares that Chanyeol is his personal driver, something that Chanyeol reasons exactly because he is just his driver.
Chanyeol and Baekhyun had their lips shut as they drive quietly to Baekhyun’s office at 6:40 a.m. Apart from Why Georgia playing in the background, it really is too quiet for Baekhyun to take.
Baekhyun huffs before starting, “Hey, you know this new restaurant in Wednesday Av? Jongdae said their menu is to die for. I want to try it out.”
Chanyeol turns to him and he’s smiling. Sometimes, Baekhyun is still left wondering how he can still breathe after Chanyeol returns his gaze to the road. “Yeah? Sure, just let me know when you want to go with them.”
“With them?”
“Yeah,” Chanyeol turns the wheels to the right before continuing, “You know, Jongdae, Kyungsoo and the serious-looking kid.”
Baekhyun feels his cheeks getting warmer and his hands curls on the fabric of his pants. Suddenly it’s too humid, in the car. He’s not sure if Chanyeol realizes the implications of what he’s saying, but either way, it pisses Baekhyun off.
“Do you realize that I’m saying this to you because I want to go with youyou’re such an idiot sentence goes unsaid.
Another stop light and Chanyeol shuts his eyes tight, a soft sigh escaping his lips. “Baekhyun…” he starts and slowly reaches out to Baekhyun’s curled fist. Baekhyun withdraws his hand from Chanyeol’s hold. He can’t let him be swayed from Chanyeol’s pending sweet talking, he’s had enough of Chanyeol taking two steps backward from him every single time he makes a step forward.
The rest of the ride is spent in tensed silence and Baekhyun is quite surprised with himself for not lashing out. By the time they reach the office, Baekhyun doesn't give Chanyeol the usual bye, drive safely kiss, and the only thing he has managed to say is ‘don’t pick me up later’ before shutting the passenger door close.
Chanyeol’s hand involuntarily reaches out to where Baekhyun was just a few seconds ago. He’s never heard Baekhyun sound so cold before. The car seat is still warm.
Chanyeol drives well. It’s actually one of the things he’s proud of, and something that Baekhyun always tease him about, which started when he first drove Baekhyun home in manual, to which he commented out of the blue-It isn’t until today that I realize a person can look so hot driving manual. Chanyeol can only smile at the memory, Baekhyun can be so shameless and random at the same time.
He stays rooted on the driver’s seat, hands on the wheel. When he quit college to start working full-time, he knew he had to park his dreams maybe for a while. And then comes Baekhyun, the actual ray of sunshine in his life.
Sometimes, he wonders if the light he emits makes the things Chanyeol wants to hide show, but he loves Baekhyun dearly, that isn’t even a question. He shuts his eyes tight, knowing how he fucked up. Maybe for real this time, and he couldn’t help but think that maybe it’s for the best.
Maybe it isn’t his place to be beside someone like Baekhyun.
The clock hits 9 p.m. when Baekhyun notices Kyungsoo passing by his station. He’s too preoccupied revising the presmat for the upcoming execomm meeting in two days, although it’s not really something he should be doing since the material is already perfect as it is. “Aren’t you going home yet?
Baekhyun doesn’t bother turning his head to Kyungsoo when he says later. He really had been in a bad mood all throughout the day and he admits he’s been a little jerk to almost everything he has come in contact with in the office.
“Would you like to join me and Jongin for dinner?” Kyungsoo tries, and Baekhyun should really give him plus points for even trying, but he shakes his head still. It isn’t long before Kyungsoo bids him goodbye for the night.
He glances at his phone beside his laptop. Seven unread messages, two from his mom, one from his brother and four from his college friends who have been bugging him to join their mini-reunion in the coming weekend. He had been wanting to attend, really. He had planned to ask Chanyeol to come with him but after what happened that morning, the chances of him joining the get together would be close to zero.
He checks his inbox again just to confirm the people who have sent him messages he haven’t read yet since noon, and alas, not even one came from his boyfriend. No Chanyeol. Nada. He drops his phone on the table rather forcefully, making the notepads he had placed nearby his laptop move slightly by the impact.
The nerve of Park Chanyeol not to send him at least a short message since that morning. Baekhyun hurriedly packs his things in annoyance, suddenly losing the will to continue working on the presmat.
There isn’t even a single star in the sky, Baekhyun notices the moment he leaves the building. It’s unusually too dark that night and the car park in front is almost empty. The lot is weirdly sad to look at when it’s not filled with cars of different models and colors, more so without the blizzard pearl Camry he’s been so used to see day and night. Truth be told, he half-expected Chanyeol to show up, even if he specifically told him that morning not to pick him up.
Is this what it is? He couldn’t help but ask himself. Is their relationship really this shallow? What else can he do to meet with what Chanyeol expects of what they have right now? Baekhyun doesn’t want to give up just like that.
“This is driving me insane,” he grumbles, running his hand through his hair before heading to the main road to flag a cab, He can easily ask someone to pick him up, but he has other plans.
There’s only one place he needs to go to.
Chanyeol turns his head from the heated action drama he’s watching on the television when he heard his apartment door opened. He sees Baekhyun standing near the front door before he can even stand from the worn out sofa.
“Baek? What are you-”
Baekhyun launches forward and kisses Chanyeol straight in the lips before he could even finish. He’s extremely frustrated and he thinks if he hears Chanyeol mention about what happened that morning, he’d really go insane. He promptly wraps his arms around Chanyeol’s neck and it feels so good being pressed to Chanyeol’s body like this, the heat permeating from the thin material of Chanyeol’s shirt to the long-sleeved polo he’s wearing.
Chanyeol can’t say he’s surprised by the sudden action since Baekhyun usually does this oftentimes, so it didn’t take him long to open his mouth and let their tongue slide against the other. Baekhyun pulls after a short while to catch his breath and Chanyeol takes the opportunity to talk. “Baek, come on, let’s talk-”
He isn’t given a time to react because Baekhyun kissed him hard before saying, “Later we can talk. Bed, now.”
In bed, Baekhyun doesn’t like wearing anything apart from his boxers. This time around, he chooses to wear Chanyeol’s shirt, it’s almost twice his size but it smells so much like Chanyeol he could fall asleep any second now. He also had to note how that was probably the longest (angry, well, one-sided) makeup sex he’s had with Chanyeol ever since they got together.
Chanyeol sees him dozing off, head against his arm and he brushes off Baekhyun’s fringe from his eyes. “Hey, don’t fall asleep yet. We have to talk, remember?”
Baekhyun could only roll his eyes and proceeds to pinch Chanyeol’s side. Way to ruin the serene post-coital moment. “You really just have to ruin everything, huh?” Chanyeol nurses the patch of skin still warm from the hard pinch from his boyfriend’s pretty fingers.
“But we really need to have this talk,” Chanyeol says and Baekhyun nods, urging him to continue.
“Byun Baekhyun… you’re beautiful. You come from a wealthy family, but you never used what your family had to be where you are right now. You are good in what you do because you are hardworking and passionate. You’re someone other people would kill to have in their life and I’m just… let’s face it, I’m just your personal driver.” Baekhyun listens intently, but now he’s just confused.
Chanyeol continues, “someone who probably can’t catch up to where you are right now. The longer we do this, the more I think about how you deserve someone better.”
He waits for a response and it takes a full ten seconds before Baekhyun could say anything. “Are you breaking with me?” What the hell, Baekhyun thinks. His mind going blank after what Chanyeol had said. Did they just have breakup sex? Now he’s gone from confused to plain annoyed. The last thing Chanyeol said kind of makes his blood boil and now he’s sure he’s fully awake.
“But you’re right, Chanyeol. Who are you, really?” Baekhyun doesn’t miss the sad ‘I know’ look that flashes on Chanyeol’s eyes. Baekhyun sighs.
Baekhyun pulls himself up from Chanyeol’s single bed and it’s really narrow for two grown men but he doesn’t mind. This is what dumb Chanyeol misses to see, this is what he doesn’t seem to understand.
Chanyeol is sure Baekhyun would see himself out of his tiny apartment, and maybe out of his life too. He readied himself for this, he convinces himself.
“Don’t misunderstand. Who are you to tell me I deserve someone better?”
Chanyeol is taken aback. He surely didn’t expect to hear this. He’s half guessed Baekhyun to be bidding him goodbye now because he assumes he’s practically fired now, but he’s still there on his bed, looking beautiful in his shirt and he’d really like to treasure this sight.
Baekhyun takes a deep breath before facing Chanyeol. He’s probably going to sound incoherent but he needs to instill things to Chanyeol’s mind, or else he’ll walk out the place with the need to find a new driver and a new boyfriend.
“Chanyeol, first of all, I need to confirm one thing. Tell me the truth, if you say yes, we’ll have to sit things out. If you say no, I’ll… I’ll go, and you’ll never see me again.” Baekhyun scoffs at himself mentally. How can he ever leave, really? But he has to face this thing that consumes Chanyeol and their relationship.
“Do you love me?”
Chanyeol stares at him. “Yes… I do.”
“Great,” Baekhyun says casually (more of feeling extremely relieved), not realizing he had been holding his breath for a few seconds, waiting for Chanyeol’s answer. “Because I love you, too. Just so you know. I really do.” And Baekhyun means it.
Baekhyun hopes it’s enough but seeing how confused Chanyeol looks which makes him want to shower his face with kisses, he knows he has to say something more.
“Remember the first time we met? We were just 18 back then. I’m not even sure if you remember that, but that was when I knew I had to be close to you.”
“And then when we finally became friends and you once took me to the pet shop you were working at back then, I saw more of you… of how good you are with animals, how much care you have for them, how you are the happiest just seeing them healthy and playing with each other. When we dropped by an orphanage filled with abandoned infants, and how you handled them well, sparing them time from work. You were such a natural that I knew you’d be a wonderful father one day. I knew back then that I need to keep you.”
Chanyeol couldn’t breathe. He gulps to relieve the dryness in his throat.
“And then there’s the time during my celebratory graduation dinner. You congratulated and gave me a hug. Did you realize how I struggled to breathe during that time? I bet you didn’t. I knew back then I was falling so fast.”
Baekhyun moves to cradle Chanyeol’s cheeks in his hands. “Chanyeol, the day you told me you’re going to quit college because your sister’s schooling is the priority, I cried myself to sleep because why must you be the one to go through that? But then I realized that was just partly the reason why I cried. I cried because I realized I wasn’t falling for you any longer. It dawned to me how I have already fallen so deep.”
Stunned-that is how Chanyeol is feeling at the moment. Everything that comes out Baekhyun’s mouth feels so foreign for him. Even after being together for a little over a year, he didn’t realize a confession like that would feel so… overwhelming.
From confused to annoyed to wanting to cry, Baekhyun is in for a rollercoaster ride, he guessed. He just couldn’t afford to end things like this. He couldn’t afford to end things at all. “Chanyeol, I’m not sure up to what extent this… whatever this is that’s eating you. But no matter how hard it is, no matter how frustrating it can be for you, always be reminded that I love you. I love all the little things that you don’t see in yourself. You don’t have to. Let me look at them for you, let me remind you how I love Park Chanyeol just the way he is right now.”
Baekhyun doesn’t even realize he’s crying until Chanyeol brings a hand to wipe his stained cheeks. He envelopes Chanyeol’s hand in place. “Let’s do this together, yeah? Don’t push me away.”
Chanyeol pulls him closer and he cries softly against his shoulder. It feels good to let those all out, and the warmth of Chanyeol’s body is what he perfectly needs right now. He whispers soft, I love yous to Baekhyun’s ears as his embrace gets tighter. He couldn’t believe he even thought of letting Byun Baekhyun go. Way to feel like the number one idiot on planet earth.
A few moments later and Chanyeol being Chanyeol, tries to lighten the mood. “So… does that mean you’re not firing me?”
Baekhyun sniffs one last time before kissing him hard. “You wish.”
Chanyeol drives Baekhyun to the office the morning after, and when Baekhyun kisses him goodbye, his gaze lingers on the back of the man he loves. It dawns to him that he isn’t supposed to get consumed with the things he’s not entirely proud when he’s with Baekhyun. He’s supposed to bask on the light and joy that Baekhyun gives.
Tonight, he’ll pick up Baekhyun at seven and they’ll have dinner in his tiny apartment, watching reruns of their favorite drama on his worn out couch.
There’s nothing to hide anymore, but he figures nobody really needs to know either how they kiss on the couch, legs tangled with the drama on the television forgotten.
(Baekhyun really did get to kiss a flustered Chanyeol in front of his friends, and he peeked to the side only to see Jongdae making a face and mouthing you guys are gross. All worth it.)