Author: ANONYMOUS
Prompt #: 187
Title: Ain’t We A Strange Crowd
Word Counts: 9.8k
Side Pairing(s): uncommitted!Suho/Chen
Rating: NC-17
Warning(s): a little graphic at the end, be aware of language
Disclaimer: The celebrities' names/images are merely borrowed and do not represent who the celebrities are in real life. No offense is intended towards them, their families or friends. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. No money is being made from this fictional work. No copyright infringement is intended.
Summary: It takes time to work a relationship. Even five years can’t guarantee a success, or maybe not.
Author's Note: This is a terrible mistake of mine, mind you. Anyways, this is all I could have work to the best of my ability. Every single weird way of phrasing is all mine, too. I’m pretty sure I didn’t remember the recipient’s name for this prompt, #187, for it is anonymous the last time I’d check - perhaps my eyes did trick me - thus again, my apology.
D, thanks for all the effort. I try to provide you with another one of your liking, if time is ever kind to me.
Words fail me on how I am incredibly grateful to admins and their kind words, and I’m sincerely sorry for being so selfish.
Chanyeol found himself trapped in trepidation. He stepped inside the Kim Manor, feeling rather a heavy chain tied him down on his both ankles. He should know not to agree with Jongin’s suggestion of throwing a freaking party for his return after a long five years residing in Wales. That brat surprisingly was a nut when he explained in details of things he wanted Chanyeol to experience despite Chanyeol had protested vehemently he disliked putting himself out there.
Jongin convinced him to don in fabulous garment he ever had. That boy warned him that he would know right off the bat if Chanyeol decided to sell himself short by wearing a cheap material. But Chanyeol, being ever so cautious, heedlessly ignored his friend’s threat of chopping his head off because who’d Jongin attempted to kid himself to? That skinny boy would run miles away when a small two-winged insect was practically three feet away from him.
“Freaking nice to see you again,” Kyungsoo whistled, who was magically appeared beside Chanyeol, who was literally burning from the inside for fooling himself to come to the mansion.
“Couldn’t say the same to you,” Chanyeol spied a glance at his younger friend. “Glad to know I’m still spreading happiness to everyone needed.”
“I’m not desperate,” said Kyungsoo in his monotone voice. He then further explained when Chanyeol looked at him like he was a test subject in his laboratory, “just so you know.”
“You are a freaking nerd, why would you even feel the need to despair?” equipped Chanyeol.
“We have the real Chanyeol, here!” Kyungsoo suddenly shouted amidst all the screaming going on and about in the spacious, packed lounge area.
Panicked, Chanyeol turned himself around and dragged the other along. “What the hell?” His heart thumped like a herd of wild horses. He hadn’t had the chance to ask Kyungsoo who played the fake Chanyeol.
Kyungsoo stared up at Chanyeol, challenging him to say anything further and stretching silence far than necessary. “Is anyone coming up to you right now? Rushing over you?” Kyungsoo started. “Why do you think those people attend this party? To confirm whether you’re still breathing and alive?”
Chanyeol watched Kyungsoo swirling himself around. The enlivened people were dancing on the dance floor, noticing the nice and slow number blasted through the speaker had everyone drunken in its music. “They don’t care about you, Chanyeol. No one is, except us, your friends.”
Kyungsoo had long gone by the time Chanyeol realized Jongin and Kyungsoo both were just trying to be the best buddy like they always have had. The one where the chance of performing it was high but totally impeded by him leaving Seoul to a country he didn’t even know existed before the Harry Potter movies.
Chanyeol was absolutely terrified, to be honest, as he knew what had triggered him to run away to somewhere far. If there was anywhere that was closer to the end of the Earth, he would have built his life and waited there till death claimed his life. That after five months in Wales, he desperately hung in there despite the language barrier. He won’t allow himself to fly back to Seoul and saw the familiar faces he dearly missed.
He was being childish, he perfectly knew that. And even if he wasn’t, he couldn’t reasoned why it affect him that much.
Chanyeol toured Kim Manor out of his guilt. Perhaps that way he might feel a bit relief - though the guilt-conscience would haunt him in his sleep - of bumping into one of his acquaintances. He, however, didn’t expect to stumble upon that one person, not in a million years neither in his wildest dream.
“Oh, hey Yeol,” greeted Jongin, squinting his eyes in suspicion. “You are one stubborn bull, don’t you?”
“There’s nothing wrong with my vest,” defended Chanyeol. His hand at the side twitched slightly but he made no effort to ease it, afraid that it would be a giveaway.
“Of course there’s nothing wrong with you looking like an incredible sheriff.” Jongin turned to his small crowd, confident that Chanyeol wouldn’t run away from him. “You aren’t even a sheriff,” muttered Jongin.
And Chanyeol couldn’t anyway; Jongin’s small crowd was all his friends. He heard someone - his friend that was neither Jongin nor Kyungsoo - saying something to him as he neared the group, his eyes totally transfixed to a certain person.
“Don’t mind him. He’s a jealous monster.” Chanyeol realized then it was Jongdae’s voice as the latter flashed his genuine, feline grin at him.
“He hasn’t changed a bit, huh?” Chanyeol responded, turning himself away from that person. He reached out for Jongdae to wrap his hand around him. He found that his heart started to spike up and hoped Jongdae won’t notice the slight change in him.
“All we need is Soo, now.” Jongin said, seemingly unaffected with such remark from Jongdae, his eyes checking every now and then.
Releasing Jongdae ever slowly, Chanyeol put a smile an equivalent of Baekhyun’s as he saw Baekhyun was in his peripheral vision. He refused to turn sideways - a facial expression would do. He merely nodded at Baekhyun as an act of greeting.
The party went smoothly well, mulled Chanyeol, as he stumbled into one of the guest room and collapsed on the bed, approximately an hour and forty-five minutes later. He could barely process what was happening around the room, but Kyungsoo and Baekhyun’s voice was a spot on.
“Guys,” slurred Chanyeol, “stop laughing please.”
“We’re not laughing,” said Kyungsoo.
“Ughhh,” Chanyeol groaned, turning on his stomach in an effort to stop his pounding headache. But that served him another throbbing pain on his skull, feeling the room spun all over him. “Remind me why I agree to consume all those alcohols.”
Kyungsoo was about to answer Chanyeol but Baekhyun, who rested his hand over Kyungsoo’s, squeezed lightly, effectively shutting up the younger man. “I’ll check on him,” Baekhyun said, moving towards the other bed.
“Are you sure?” Kyungsoo queried, wasn’t really need an answer from the other male because Baekhyun never backtracked from anything once he had said it.
As Baekhyun attempted to roll Chanyeol on his back, the drunken mess slapped Baekhyun’s hand away. “Go away.”
Baekhyun continued to push Chanyeol. “I will once you’re out of your vest.”
“Why?” Chanyeol, being stubborn like he always had been, flattened himself on the bed.
“So you’ll be able to return to Wales in one piece,” replied Baekhyun. He stopped pushing Chanyeol the tenaciously unyielding bull, rather watching the other’s reaction blankly.
“I won’t be return there,” Chanyeol whined like the rebellious child. “Stop tickling me, I’m ticklish.”
“I’m not. Stop complaining and roll over,” said Baekhyun, calm and collected.
“I’m done with Wales. I’m not going to return there. I’m sick of it,” Chanyeol blabbered out. He was speaking onto the bed sheet but Baekhyun could hear it just fine. “Do not ever tickle me again.”
“Roll over, Chanyeol.” Baekhyun repeated.
Dejected, Chanyeol turned his body that felt like a lead slowly, sprawling against the white spread. His long legs stuck on each side of the bed. He shut his eyes in relief once his head stopped hammering on his skull, dull pain remained. He shot them open again when a hand trailed over his abdomen.
“What are you doing?” Chanyeol’s hand shakily came up to stop Baekhyun’s, his grip loosing slightly.
“You’re going to suffocate yourself in that vest,” answered Baekhyun, moving his hand fast and unfastening the last two buttons. He gently pulled Chanyeol’s arms out of the sleeveless garment. “Go to sleep, Chanyeol.”
“You’re leaving me here?” Kyungsoo darted his eyes between Baekhyun, who stood on his feet and the slumbering mess on the bed that was Chanyeol.
“Yes, Kyungsoo,” Chanyeol shouted suddenly, surprising the other two friends out of their wits, “my best bud, please.” Chanyeol was back to the dreamland in seconds.
Baekhyun exchanged a long look with Kyungsoo as he draped the vest on a chair across the room before heading to the door. “I’ll see you tomorrow, Soo. Good night.”
Despite Chanyeol had sobered himself up the next afternoon, he hadn’t gone out of his room not even once. His stomach was growling in hunger. Yet he hadn’t had an ounce of anything to survive in the world that was waiting to humiliate him in front of Baekhyun. Chanyeol chuckled dryly, as he dared to think Baekhyun would want to give a damn about him.
He shouldn’t give a damn about that six-months-older-than-him guy either, Chanyeol thought. He dragged himself out of the bed, hoping the refreshing shower would clear his head and praying he could actually get out from Jongin’s enormous haven safe and sound.
Chanyeol dressed himself as nice as the previous night clothes would do, climbing down the stairs slowly. He never confided on his luck, so when he was spotted by Jongin’s maid to have a delectable lunch with the others, he just smiled before sprinting for the entrance.
Chanyeol supposed that he looked like a lucky thief who just broke into an expensive property but wanted to be lavish by pretending the owner would never caught him because they were all dead. Then a sole soul suddenly appeared had him ran for his life. He ultimately forgotten the things he wanted to steal the most. In short, he looked like an utter idiot.
Sketching his car out from Jongin’s front yard, Chanyeol hit the gas pedal. He desperately wanted to be out of Kim Manor and holing himself up in his apartment for the next four weeks. He would never regret it because he had been successful with his experiment for five years back in Wales, and he knew he would succeed just fine this time around.
Except that the first ten hours of Chanyeol’s holing up plan, Joonmyun the man who was gentle with his words and mannerisms, decided to make a trip to his apartment. Chanyeol couldn’t throw the older guy out of the window or shove him through the entrance. Joonmyun was meant to be nice to him and everyone else. Joonmyun would never do any harm to him like how Jongin could possibly have.
But then everything needed revisions especially after his long years of absence, Chanyeol drilled that thought in his head, as he watched Jongdae came through his apartment door after fifteen minutes passed. Jongdae was all slick and smooth, like it was not a stranger’s house he entered but his alone. He found Joonmyun and Jongdae interacting with each other and excluding him. He grew more confused.
“Remind me that you guys know this place is mine?” Chanyeol paced towards his kitchen island, purposely distancing himself between the two friends. “And did you guys decide to have sex and make up or something?”
As far as Chanyeol was concerned, those two would bicker over insignificant, petty things just because each one had pride as high as the Niagara Falls. They never settled down easily.
Joonmyun stunned while Jongdae turned to look at Chanyeol, who had this lazy look directed back at he and Joonmyun. Jongdae vaguely remembered why he came to Chanyeol’s apartment straight after his shift in hospital on the older guy’s suggestion.
“We just want to check on you,” said Jongdae simply, sounding so lame.
Chanyeol quirked his eyebrow and his gaze flicked to Joonmyun’s face. The oldest guy out of the three shrugged, agreeing with Jongdae’s statement earnestly. Chanyeol knew probably he came off strong to both men and also knew that Joonmyun wasn’t one to deny anything, though it would be such a relief if Joonmyun did confirm something.
Chanyeol stared some more. “Need drinks anyone? I’m about to grind down some apples,” Chanyeol decided to change tactic. He was still standing behind the counter and looking at the stiffen duo.
“I’m fine, thanks.” Joonmyun said.
“Let me help.” Jongdae walked passed Joonmyun and towards Chanyeol, smiling slightly when his eyes met Chanyeol’s slightly confused brown pair. Jongdae continued then, “We haven’t reached the sex part. Thanks for the concern, mate.” He clasped Chanyeol’s shoulder while his other hand drawing out the apples at the other side of the counter.
“So, how did you guys make up with each other? Kiss?” Chanyeol watched Jongdae turning himself around and washing the apples under the running tap. He tilted his head slightly so to not miss Joonmyun’s reaction.
“Neither,” said Joonmyun, ducking his head and digging something inside his briefcases before lifting his head back up to see Chanyeol had an amused grin playing across his features.
“Is it the combination of the two? Kiss then endless fuck?” Chanyeol enquired, his eyes were bright with excitement.
Jongdae, in an instant, kicked his giant friend by his shin, which had Chanyeol grunted in pain and a reward of Joonmyun’s bell-like laughter, chiming. “We’re doing nothing of the sort.”
“We’re coming to tell you that Baekhyun is having his concert in two weeks,” said Joonmyun, his voice held a genuine warmth, “might as well get you one.”
“I’m not coming,” replied Chanyeol, opting himself to look at Jongdae instead. Jongdae had finished extracting the juice, promptly switching the machine off.
“We’ll make sure you do,” said Jongdae. “Either that or Jongin would force you again, much like yesterday.”
“Why you and your little brother love to torture me endlessly?” Chanyeol asked listlessly, groaning.
“I’m a bit lenient, am I?” Joonmyun walked to the kitchen and reached for Jongdae’s glass, sipping it slowly. “This is good,” he said appreciatively.
“Do you have any idea how embarrassed I am last night?” Chanyeol had refused to have a sip of apple juice. Thus Joonmyun happily reached Chanyeol’s glass and gulped down the juice when Jongdae snatched his glass back from Joonmyun. “Seriously, why haven’t you guys fucked yet?”
“He hadn’t had a glance at your abs, chill.” Jongdae whistled.
“Would you chill if you’re in my shoes and it was Joonmyun?” Chanyeol equipped.
“Probably not,” Jongdae and Joonmyun both spoke, simultaneously.
Chanyeol burst out laughing at his friends’ reaction. He couldn’t help himself. “Dude, you guys sync. Goodness, stop me. This is hilarious, oh please.”
Chanyeol had to force down his laughter eventually when his two friends were growing quite. One was silently washing the two glasses while the other cleaned up the counter-top. He was beyond confused but he watched in shocked, couldn’t find words to break the icy tension that suddenly rose in his kitchen.
“I get two tickets for you in case you are terribly uncomfortable with the idea. Jongin might drive you and your friend to the venue. I’m not around till next month.” Joonmyun began, starting to walk out of the kitchen. “Sorry for not be able to greet you properly. I just arrived this morning and then you’re leaving before I can actually welcome you back.”
Chanyeol was deadpanned. The onslaught off information threw him off rather horribly. “Where are you going now?”
It seemed like a movie, someone had fast forwarding the video and he felt like he had skipped an important piece which he didn’t know what that was, or might never knew about it unless someone filled him in.
“Tokyo, I’ve got some business to settle there.” Joonmyun smoothly grabbed his briefcase. “Bye to the both of you,” he bid, opening the entrance and disappearing as the door closed with a soft click.
“Did he just leave without hugging me?” Chanyeol’s eyes transfixed at the entrance, his voice was seemingly light-years away.
“He didn’t hug me either, if that’ll make you feel better.” Jongdae rinsed his hand off on the small piece of towel near the fridge.
“Since when did he ever hug you but hey thanks, Dae.” Chanyeol forced his eyes off the door and flashed a smile at his friend. “Mind to keep me company tomorrow? I’m gonna need some clothes for the concert, don’t you think?”
“I’m sorry, mate.” Jongdae’s face twisted as he apologized. “I have tight schedule since tomorrow morning till late evening. I can always ask Kyungsoo for help though, if you don’t mind.”
“Sure,” agreed Chanyeol. “Wait, are you leaving now?”
“I’m not sure if you want me to stay over at your place even if you’re so willingly wanted to tell my stepfather about his stepson sleeping somewhere else that isn’t his house or my apartment.”
“Damn,” Chanyeol cursed out loud, wide-eyed, “your mother remarried? When? With whom?” Chanyeol was excited that he had sprung up to Jongdae and wrapped his hands around the boy. “Congratulations.”
“Thanks,” said Jongdae, laughing at Chanyeol’s enthusiasm. Jongdae only continued after his giant friend backed away and that he had paced across the living room and was close to the entrance. “My mother and he surprised me sixth months ago, saying they had dating for over a year already and asked for my permission for a marriage.”
“Are you okay with her decision?”
“I said I’ll think about it and I give her my answer after two months.” Jongdae smiled, “I’m okay now.”
“Who is he, your stepfather?”
Jongdae gripped his sling bag loosely. “I’m best get going. Thanks, mate. I’ll inform Kyungsoo and I’ll see you in the concert, I hope.”
Jongdae disappeared like a magician out of his apartment. Chanyeol recalled if perhaps he ever offended his two friends for a moment back then but futile. He, however, thought that the interaction between those two friends were cute, a little bit shy yet endearing at the same time. Chanyeol slept through the night with those thoughts lingering at the back of his mind.
Kyungsoo texted Chanyeol around two in the evening the next day and requested of Chanyeol fetching him at his apartment. Chanyeol had actually called the other and ask him to get the hell ready and if he was to late five minutes, Chanyeol would just drive and leave him behind.
By a miracle, Kyungsoo was a minute late before Chanyeol could actually hit his accelerator and went shopping alone. Halfway towards the enormous shopping complex building, Chanyeol realized his plan of avoiding and isolating himself in his apartment was totally ruined. All of it was because those two guys from the previous night invaded his safety confinement and decided to haul him out from his sacred apartment.
“Has Joonmyun always gone to overseas trip?” Chanyeol asked.
“As of lately he is,” said Kyungsoo.
Chanyeol nodded understandingly. “He came to my apartment last night, he and Jongdae both. Jongdae had told you, I’m sure.”
“Yeah, he did.” Kyungsoo added, “He said you might agree to come to the concert but if you don’t want to that’ll be okay, too.”
“Jongdae said that?” Chanyeol’s eyes flicked a sideway glance at Kyungsoo. “Funny, he threatened me last night.”
“That’s because Jongin would probably pair and force them up to get you to agree to come until you’re really agreeing and not backing away anytime soon.”
“Why would he do that?” Chanyeol had a very ridiculous tone in his voice, one with amusement but also a hint of curiosity.
“I don’t know,” said Kyungsoo simply.
But Chanyeol knew his friend was lying - probably Kyungsoo knew of Chanyeol knew he was lying through his teeth. Whoever undeserved to know anything regarding their friends’ life was him. He had disappeared and only came back after five years, surely everyone felt sort of awkward to tell him anything, much less if it was someone else’s private matter.
Kyungsoo and he accidentally bumped into Baekhyun’s large billboard advertisement right before Chanyeol made a sharp turn to the left, driving the car down the parking lot of the shopping complex. The signboard said that the solo singer would be having his last date for the concert tour and that it was an encore.
That prompted Chanyeol to say something. “Is he supposed not to have anymore tour?”
“Hmm,” Kyungsoo looked at Chanyeol.
“The poster outside said it’s the encore.” Chanyeol was hoping that Kyungsoo understood him and his hint.
“He announced a month before that he wanted to take hiatus,” said Kyungsoo. “His fans were all angry and sad but I’ll bet Baekhyun still gets crowds for his encore.”
Chanyeol wouldn’t dare himself to ask why because it was not his damn business anymore. He hurriedly busied himself to find a spot to park his car, getting himself out of his car and got lost amongst the crowds in the building complex.
Chanyeol barely remembered how Baekhyun had two albums out and a dome concert in the period of him staying at Wales for a year before shutting everyone else off of his life. He hadn’t defy his newly-formed routine because he kind of afraid he would succumb into it if he did. He only knew all sort of news through mails that everyone would send to him occasionally but never had the gut to reply anything in return.
Thus the whole time Chanyeol purchased garments in stores, he and Kyungsoo chatted about everything but their life or their friends’ for that matter. They were done by the time sun was setting down.
One of these days, after he had safely arrived at Seoul, Chanyeol kept on having dreams which things would turn out to be for better. Some other times, the dreams spiraled down to worse if he was to stay at Seoul, still pursuing his relationship with Baekhyun. Contrary to when he was staying at Wales, Chanyeol found out those dreams of he and Baekhyun hadn’t overwhelmed him as much as before.
Though the next week on Monday, Chanyeol was surprised; he was literally struck by a lightning of seeing Baekhyun the top star of South Korea coming through the café near his apartment building, which literally two blocks away. Baekhyun was alone. The singer dressed in a plaid shirt with dark-washed jeans, a snapback complemented his perfect cover.
Chanyeol hadn’t realized that he had been staring at Baekhyun until said figure came to his table and stopped. It must be the reflex, Chanyeol thought, as he lifted his head up and was dazed for a moment to see Baekhyun was standing in front of him. A smile carved on his handsome features.
“Mind if I sit here?” Baekhyun softly asked.
Chanyeol stared up some more, nodding his head before realizing that he wasn’t meant for the other to sit somewhere else other than with him. “No, I mean, I mind if you sit somewhere else.”
Baekhyun gave a soft smile, seating himself across from Chanyeol. “I’m sorry if I came off too rude for your liking. I just realized most teen in here might recognize me if I were to sit alone.”
“They won’t recognize you if you were to sit here with me?”
“Not really. It decreases the margin though.”
“Where’s your manager? You still have one, don’t you?”
Baekhyun adjusted his snapback. “I’m off schedule today. He needs the rest, though.”
“Have you been doing well?”
“In case you’re forgotten, I have concert these weekend. What about you?”
“I’m out of job.”
“I thought you’re the big boss?” Baekhyun arched one of his eyebrows.
Chanyeol laughed. “I guessed I forget that.”
Chanyeol hadn’t known why he could actually chat up with Baekhyun that easily despite he was being bitter for a year. He never knew why he hadn’t blame Baekhyun for agreeing with his decision of breaking up so easily for that boy was obviously held the same responsibility of keeping the relationship going.
For the sake of keeping the conversation running, Chanyeol repeated the same thing he had asked Kyungsoo last week. And that was also because he was sort of had nothing interesting to keep up with Baekhyun and his glamorous lifestyle.
“Did Joonmyun go to Tokyo for his own business? He ran an IT company, doesn’t he?”
“Since his father remarried, he’s been taking care of his parent’s company.” Baekhyun said, staring off at his hot cup of espresso. “Jongin actually rejected the idea of Joonmyun had to let go of his own company but Joonmyun said he trusted it to one of his partner, which is really a trust-worthy man, so Jongin hadn’t say anything else.”
“Oh, right. Joonmyun had actually mailed me like a month before that he said his father had remarried. He said she was pretty and that she was a year younger than his father.” Chanyeol noticed how Baekhyun hadn’t lifted his chin up and that the steam coming off the espresso was a direct hit to his face. “Hey, are you okay?”
“I am, just-“
“Are you crying?” Chanyeol peered at Baekhyun, trying to see Baekhyun’s face. He was beyond shocked to see Baekhyun had tears brimming against his lower lids.
Baekhyun ducked his head lower and turned slightly at his side to compose himself. A long moment passed between them. No words exchanged between them either, until Baekhyun had finally finished his espresso did he say something.
“Thanks for keeping me company. Jongdae said you might be coming to the concert this weekend. I’m crossing my fingers for you to come and see me. It will be great. Thanks again and bye, Chanyeol.”
Baekhyun was surprisingly quick on his feet, leaving Chanyeol gaping at the absent form in front of him.
Chanyeol had always known life was a mystery, one where it was supposed not to be solved upon but many would want to try anyway - deciphering, searching and discovering.
Perhaps that was why he never dared to take a double look at how Jongdae was saddened by the fact that his mother had remarried. That Jongdae said he was okay but Chanyeol knew he wasn’t. He neither commented nor said anything to his other friends, when image of Baekhyun crying over a cup of coffee troubling him. He thought Baekhyun wouldn’t dare to let his guard down in front of stranger, which they were because they had broken up.
Nevertheless, Chanyeol initially assumed that those pressing issues had totally lost in midst of many other bubble thoughts inside his head. He was extremely confounded when Baekhyun knocked his apartment door at three in the morning, a day before the encore concert. It was overwhelming, so pronounced he felt like his chest might burst. His hammering thud of heartbeats was fast against his ribcage.
“Baekhyun?” Chanyeol croaked, totally speechless in the state of his drowsiness.
“Don’t you know I’ve been waiting for this exact moment?” Baekhyun said with no preamble, passing through Chanyeol and tumbling easily onto the soft couch. “Perhaps a tea would be nice.”
Blinking dumbly, Chanyeol shut the entrance door. As he turned himself and stared up at the familiar intruder, Chanyeol found himself leaving for the kitchen. There was something niggled at the back of his mind though - was it irritation? Chanyeol wasn’t sure but he didn’t mind in the slightest bit of Baekhyun’s presence shadowing his whole lot of apartment.
“Here,” Chanyeol offered, “warm water is far beneficial for a singer.”
Baekhyun jerked his head, startled for a moment. Then he reached out for the glass from Chanyeol. “Thanks,” he muttered softly.
Time seemed coming to a halt as Chanyeol and Baekhyun sat in the living room soundlessly. They weren’t huddled together because the noticeable gap between them suggesting nothing of the sort, except they both quite comfortable with the deafening silence.
Chanyeol sat quietly on the low-pile carpet with premium rug pad covering his wooden flooring. He leaned against the other end of the couch. Baekhyun’s feet just few inches from his face and he didn’t mind that in the slightest. Baekhyun was long laid on his back, eyes transfixed on the high ceiling.
“Did you have fun in Wales?” Baekhyun started, out of nowhere.
Chanyeol noticed Baekhyun still staring at the ceiling. “It wasn’t fun, but it’s more than enough for me.”
“Did Wales’ winter is colder than Seoul?”
“Nothing can beat Seoul’s windy and coldest weather ever.”
“Nice to know you’re not freezing there.” Baekhyun tilted his head slightly, meeting Chanyeol’s soft brown eyes. “Are you really staying for good?”
Chanyeol couldn’t seem to find the correct response. His brain went frenzied, all overdrive because Baekhyun was shooting laser straight to his soul. He stiffly nodded like one of the moving mannequins.
“Perhaps you can kiss me now?”
As if on trance, Chanyeol slowly pushed himself up and moved, leaning down so his face was millimeters away from Baekhyun’s. He knew for a fact Baekhyun hated the towering act of him, but he continued anyway, locking his eyes determinedly on Baekhyun’s.
“Would this mean something tomorrow?” Chanyeol whispered, his lips fleetingly moving, touching Baekhyun’s pink flesh lightly.
“Yes, if you can change how things going to be today.”
Like a sudden desire needed to be fulfilled, or else Chanyeol would be livid, he dipped his head and kissed Baekhyun gently. He moved his lips ever so slow, savoring the incredible taste of the other, attempting to match the old cherished memory of kissing Baekhyun. It was still the same, the world had reduced to them only and the sweet scent lingered all around them.
However, Baekhyun grew frustrated. He wanted them to move to a faster pace, not just innocent and shy kissing. Baekhyun wanted the passion burned them both, desperately seeking for the furious insatiable fervor and desiring the intensity that could break him like there was no tomorrow.
Biting Chanyeol’s lower lip harshly, Baekhyun wasted no more. He delved his tongue deep inside the warm cavern. His hand messily bunched Chanyeol’s thin fabric shirt, tugging the other impossibly closer to him. Baekhyun’s mouth was brutal, savaging the other though Chanyeol pitifully whined when Baekhyun bit his lips again, enough to draw blood.
It felt like Baekhyun was possessed by someone. Chanyeol couldn’t simply stop Baekhyun from attacking his mouth with his teeth, couldn’t bring himself to end the game when the singer continuously abusing his lips with urgency. He didn’t know if he ever tasted longing, or revenge or nothing at all from Baekhyun’s bruising kiss. It was all blurry.
Baekhyun swallowed every harsh moan and unintelligible noise from him. Chanyeol had to find another way to stop the singer, he decided. He pulled at Baekhyun’s hair slightly, while his other hand sneaked under Baekhyun’s shirt, lingering a bit on the flat stomach before trailing up to his nipple. Pinching as hard as he could, he felt Baekhyun gasped in pleasure as his back arched deliciously onto his hand.
Chanyeol yanked Baekhyun’s hair again, harder, forcing the other to look up at him. Their lips pulled away slightly. Every bit of annoyance in him melted away when Baekhyun stared back at him with immense rage he couldn’t possibly imagine coming from the pretty boy.
Chanyeol was at lost. He didn’t know what to do. It was all too sudden. Next moment they were friend with nothing but history, then next moment they were kissing with every pent-up emotion they had in them and now they were back being nothing more than acquaintance. Did they reach the point where friends with benefit was better suited them?
Chanyeol couldn’t fathom himself either.
Baekhyun’s eyes were all stormy as he kept his steel gaze on Chanyeol. Sighing audibly, the latter lowered his head. Chanyeol kissed Baekhyun gently, his eyes shut close, like nothing sort of wild and sensual did not just happen between them before. With every languid kiss he insistently poured onto Baekhyun, he could feel Baekhyun growing pliant against him, like the melted ice-cream in a stifling summer.
It seemed like Chanyeol wanted to trace back the entire wilderness and sealed them back inside his heart. Releasing his hand from Baekhyun’s hair, Chanyeol travelled down his hand and rested it at the back of Baekhyun’s head, gently holding it against his palm. He finished with one long, deep kiss that had Baekhyun hummed contentedly in the back of his throat.
“This better mean something,” Chanyeol said, once he pulled away from the earth-shattering kiss, breathing hard.
Baekhyun didn’t say anything when Chanyeol moved off of him, disappearing into a room at the left side of the apartment. Chanyeol came back several minutes later with pillow and blanket in one hand. Baekhyun looked as confused as if he was trying to solve the mathematical problems and he hated that subject the most.
Arranging the pillow underneath Baekhyun’s head, Chanyeol pulled the singer up and moved behind the singer’s back, spooning him. Baekhyun was facing the big flat screen when Chanyeol’s breath tickled him. “Thanks for barging in. Now, let’s try to catch some sleep.”
Morning ray streamed in through the sliding door curtains and Chanyeol was so content he groaned softly against his pillow, somewhat willing the rays to stop spilling into his room. Wait, he was in the living room. Baekhyun came last night.
Except when reality hit him the hardest, Chanyeol had come to a realization that Baekhyun was nowhere to be found. The trace of glass on the coffee table of the previous night had gone. No note of gratitude or any reminder about the concert today. No nothing.
Chanyeol dropped his back to the pillow rather unceremoniously. Only then, he knew last night wasn’t merely a dream. It was real, insanely real because Baekhyun’s perfume left traces on his pillow. It was downright frightening for Chanyeol to remember how hot Baekhyun was last night with his smoky make-up but he didn’t do anything other than kissing him.
Meanwhile at the concert venue, despite Baekhyun was incredibly busy and nervous as he walked around the backstage, pacing with no purpose but to keep him preoccupied, he mentally resolved to avoid Chanyeol. He will set himself to avoid the taller at whatever cost, at least until the concert ended successfully.
Baekhyun couldn’t understand himself why he felt the need to suddenly come knocking at Chanyeol’s apartment three in the morning. He never knew why the tension thrummed in the air back at Chanyeol’s apartment demanding of him to impulsively kiss the other. He even asked for one, for goodness’ sake.
Perhaps, Baekhyun was officially mad for thinking he had a chance to fall for that lanky man again.
An hour left before the concert kicked off, and Baekhyun was surprised to see Jongdae at backstage. “When did you get here?”
“Just now,” said Jongdae. He noticed Baekhyun was sort of not himself, playing with his hand now and then. “Nervous?”
Baekhyun smiled wryly, “Of course.” Amidst the bustling staff around them, Jongdae and he stood in the middle of the hallway. They didn’t say anything for a beat. Then, he confessed. “I slept at Chanyeol’s last night.”
Jongdae simply nodded, his eyes looking everywhere around the backstage. “Do you want to stand here still? I would love to have a seat to myself though.” Jongdae grinned at Baekhyun, his eyes crinkling prettily.
“Sure, let’s head to my room.” Baekhyun led his friend, their hands linking together. “Sorry for not noticing, but Joonmyun still in Tokyo, doesn’t he?”
Jongdae went stiff for a moment. “Jongin said he’ll try to catch the earliest flight after he finished his deal tomorrow.”
“Why won’t you guys told everything to Chanyeol though?”
Jongdae cut up a glance at Baekhyun. “Maybe, you should be the one to tell him?”
“And risk him leaving me again? No way,” said Baekhyun, half-joking and half-offended, but he hid his bitter tone rather fast before Jongdae could question him. “I should be the one leaving him behind now.”
“I’m rooting for you, mate.” Jongdae flashed his bright grin at his friend, squeezing Baekhyun’s hand lightly. “Anyway, I’d be offshore tomorrow. The cruise needs a doctor.”
Baekhyun sighed heavily as he opened the door to his backstage room, releasing his hand from Jongdae and shoving the other male inside. He closed the door behind him. “Honestly, until when you guys gonna need to run away from each other? You’d give me unnecessary headaches.”
Jongdae merely shrugged, pulling Baekhyun to sit beside him on the couch. “Relax, superstar. Don’t work all of your muscles on me. Save it for you beloved fans out there. They’d possibly throw eggs at you.”
“Shut up. I don’t need you to rub salt on my wound, all right.”
The concert finished remarkably well. Despite the tears that had come by the end of the concert, Baekhyun ended his final speech rather very well.
“I’ll be seeing you guys tomorrow, hopefully. Thanks for staying till the end. Bye,” Baekhyun said, smiling sweetly at his fans, bidding everyone. He threw a little heart using his two fingers, earning wild screams all over the venue.
From the corner of his eyes, Baekhyun could see Jongin and Kyungsoo both pulled Chanyeol to stand, probably heading to the backstage. The singer, wanting to stick to his plan, moved even faster. He practically ran to the back of stage, waving every now and then before disappearing completely. He snatched his manger’s hand, sprinting out from the concert venue with his concert-outfit-clad on him still.
“Baekhyun,” his manager yelled.
“I’ll explain later,” The singer said, urging his manager to unlock the van and start driving. He rummaged through the many shirts at the back of the van, seizing a decent pink and taking off his jacket and the blue shirt underneath it before wearing the fresh fabric. “Should I change the jeans, too?”
Yixing, Baekhyun’s manager flicked his eyes at the singer through the interior rear view mirror. “Just wear something else tomorrow. I don’t need to see you naked. Would you want me to drop you at Jongdae’s?”
Baekhyun grinned. “Yes, please. Thanks, Yixing. I love you.”
Yixing pretended to be repulsed, making the puking sound.
Once Yixing dropped Baekhyun in front of Jongdae’s apartment building and pulled away the van from the curb, Baekhyun rushed in past the security guard. He wistfully smiled before entering easily through the glass door with password provided by Jongdae. He had ingrained those at the back of his head.
After a painful wait for nearly two hours and a half, Baekhyun finally got to see Jongdae. His friend was carrying bags of groceries with his both hands. “Did you need to bring your own food to the cruise ship?”
Startled, Jongdae skidded to a halt. “What the hell?”
“I’m staying the night,” said Baekhyun.
“No, you’re not.”
“Sure, I am. Here, let me help you.” Baekhyun moved forward, totally missing the conflicting look on his friend’s face. He heard faint beeping somewhere, and then another voice echoed through the hallway.
Baekhyun stopped up short though, the moment he heard the voice addressing his friend. He fixed his gaze on Jongdae.
“Jongdae, my father wanted to meet you befo-“ Joonmyun trailed off as he lifted his face from his phone, completely caught off guard at the sight of Baekhyun in front of Jongdae. Joonmyun waited for a few moments before speaking again. “You should meet him.”
Joonmyun then paced down the hallway towards them, reaching for the groceries on Jongdae’s hands, bunching them into his one hand. He left the two of them as he worked his way to Jongdae’s apartment, punching the numbers on the lock.
Once Baekhyun was sure Joonmyun was inside the apartment, he turned his attention back at Jongdae. “You said he’d come tomorrow.” There was an accusation in his tone and Baekhyun didn’t care if he sounded like a petulant child missing his candy. He was hurt by Jongdae’s intention of lying to him. “Is the cruise was really an excuse?”
Jongdae helplessly pled at Baekhyun using his eyes, unable to come up with anything to say.
“Why would you need it as an excuse? Why you’d still need an excuse?” Baekhyun’s voice raised a notch without both of them realizing it.
However, Joonmyun did. He peeked his head out of the door slightly, “Please lower your volume. There are neighbors everywhere,” he said.
“Fuck you,” cursed Baekhyun, glaring at the older male.
Joonmyun stared back, challenging Baekhyun silently.
“Fine, I’ll fucking keep my voice low.” Baekhyun wasn’t though, he practically screamed when he let out another profanity. Joonmyun patiently waited, his eyes boring straight through Baekhyun’s stormy eyes. Baekhyun had to ground his teeth together before muttering under his breath, “Fucking close the door already.”
Joonmyun gladly did.
Baekhyun shifted back to Jongdae; he couldn’t help himself from swinging his leg, kicking Jongdae by his shin. “Answer me, you idiot.” Baekhyun knew for a fact Jongdae knew that he wasn’t that angry. He knew Jongdae knew that he was freaking pissed because he felt betrayed.
Jongdae winced in pain. “That’s not an excuse. At least I don’t think so. I didn’t know why it sounded like an excuse, but I wouldn’t want to know why it sounded like one.” Jongdae cursed his friend in his mind, bending slightly, rubbing at the sore spot. “Come on, I’ll drive you to Chanyeol’s.”
“I’m not going back there,” said Baekhyun.
Jongdae straightened his back, giving a long, suffering look at his friend. “Believe me, right now, he’s the one you need.” Jongdae spun around, not really waiting for Baekhyun’s rebuttal. If anything, Baekhyun would still trail behind him.
Luck was the toughest thing ever came by Chanyeol’s door. Though the moment he saw Baekhyun with Jongdae by the entrance door, he wished he could draw his words back and kept them lock inside his head forever. Chanyeol expected the both of them to say anything but each boy were surprisingly tightlipped.
“Aren’t you guys coming in?” Chanyeol asked out of his politeness.
Jongdae shook his head. “He’s the only one coming in. See you, Chanyeol.” Jongdae then shoved Baekhyun inside the other’s apartment.
Chanyeol was beyond surprised, which had been two nights in a row now. But he couldn’t seem to shake the confusion clouded his vision, not when Baekhyun attacked him suddenly. Much like yesterday, Baekhyun eagerly ravaged his mouth, so fierce and full of spite.
Baekhyun backed Chanyeol against a wall, their mouth still connected. The singer didn’t give a chance to the lanky to do anything except whimpered uselessly against him. Baekhyun continued ravishing the other’s mouth, waiting for the exact moment Chanyeol would scream at him, begging him to freaking let him breathe.
His grip on both Chanyeol’s side would leave bruises when morning comes, but Baekhyun didn’t care. He wanted to dissolve the rage inside him while at the same time diffuse and paint it on the lanky skin, willing himself to use Chanyeol to distract the anguish pain inflicted upon him.
Somehow, that had Baekhyun snapped to reality. He had sworn to himself earlier that he would keep his distance with the lanky male.
As abrupt as it had always been, Chanyeol watched behind his half-lidded eyes Baekhyun pulling away from him. The singer’s face was devoid of emotions; his dark eyes were wild but nothing else. Chanyeol had hoped maybe desire pooling at the back of Baekhyun’s eyes but there was no trace of it.
Storming into a room Baekhyun had seen Chanyeol came in and out the previous night, the singer locked the door. He heard the man at the other side of the door moved three beats later, too late to ask him to do anything. His chest heaving and he wished he could magically vanish from Chanyeol’s apartment right then and there.
“Baekhyun,” Chanyeol called out softly.
Now, Baekhyun wished the man at the other side of the door was the one to be disappeared into a puff of smoke, not him. Leaning heavily against the door, Baekhyun listened nevertheless.
“I’m sorry, okay. I know you’re mad at me. Please, open the door.”
Baekhyun fluttered his eyes close, softly breathing through his nose.
“You’re in my bedroom, Baekhyun.” Chanyeol attempted again.
“Why should I be concerned?” Baekhyun heard himself asking.
A loud sigh escaped Chanyeol’s. “I can’t sleep out here without freezing to death.”
Well, Baekhyun certainly would be happy if he found Chanyeol dead in his safe haven tomorrow. That surprisingly calm his racing heartbeats, Baekhyun realized. Perhaps, Jongdae was right. Despite he refused to be anywhere near the lanky, he couldn’t deny, after all this time, that Chanyeol somewhat managed to keep him sane.
Baekhyun came to realization, now. He knew now why he decided to mess with Jongdae for years after Chanyeol left him all alone.
“Did anyone tell you Jongdae’s mother remarried with Joonmyun’s father? Have anyone told you Joonmyun saved every bits and pieces of me? And also Jongdae?” Baekhyun knew he was rambling. His tears began to gather on his lower lids. “Have you ever thought that maybe Joonmyun could have a happy ending with Jongdae?”
Baekhyun laughed, his tears spilling down his face. “Guess what, I fucked him bad. I fucked Jongdae so bad, Joonmyun had to interfere. He threatened to fuck Jongdae, too and then let both of their parents knew about it. Know what was the best part? Jongdae was fucking crying when his mother’s name came between us. He cried rivers, I had to stop fucking him and console him.”
Sobs racked through Baekhyun’s body and he cried even louder, unable to stop himself from wailing at the agonizing pain. His heart had been ripped apart, like it was meant for animal to eat. No amount of tears could have save him from himself.
It was that their parents who ruined every relationship, Baekhyun resentfully admitted. If Chanyeol wasn’t to get affected with his parents’ divorce, he and Chanyeol would be still able to continue their wondrous journey together. Joonmyun and Jongdae might be able to have their happy ending if Joonmyun hadn’t feel like his father’s happiness was far more important than his.
Blaming anyone was coward, Baekhyun knew, but that was what kept him going all those years.
“It must be all wonderful to see the galaxy at the other side of world. I wish I could have ran away when reporters busily finding scandals about me, or when netizens creating controversies for me.” Baekhyun laughed some more.
“I fucking hate you when you left me with all these messes.” Baekhyun was definitely glad when he spat out the last sentence. Wiping angrily his tears off his face, he stalked out from Chanyeol’s bedroom, past the lanky man himself, and heading straight for the entrance.
Chanyeol grabbed Baekhyun’s arm fast. “I’m really sorry. I didn’t know.”
Tugging his hand rather harshly, Baekhyun kept on pacing, his back facing Chanyeol. “I don’t need your fucking sorry.” Then, Baekhyun was out of Chanyeol’s hair in no time.
After the day-two concert finally ended, the tour had finally wrapping up, and the entire staff had been treated to a well-deserved dinner, and everyone celebrated with alcohols or beers. Unfortunately, it didn’t keep Baekhyun from come knocking again at Chanyeol’s apartment.
This time around, the lanky was all prepared. Chanyeol just let the drunken singer into his apartment without no question or even confusion. Though he was also prepared if Baekhyun might act all wild again, he was absolutely disappointed when Baekhyun headed straight for the fridge.
“You’re gonna admit you are the biggest fool ever,” said Baekhyun. There was no trace of slurring, Chanyeol noticed. In fact, Baekhyun was all sober when the singer grab for water inside the fridge. “You think you are all mighty when you decide to brood in Wales. What, did you think your parents would be getting back together if you rebel like a spoilt brat you are?”
Chanyeol hadn’t known why he responded to Baekhyun the way he did. “My parents deserve to have me brooding like a spoilt brat I am.”
Baekhyun laughed wryly.” Yeah, they did. Because that’s all amount of you. Spoilt, selfish, annoying and stuck-up brat.” Baekhyun spat all those words vehemently. “Did you even get what you want?”
Chanyeol couldn’t react properly, not when Baekhyun hurled the jar of water in his hand onto the floor. The jagged, shattering pieces awfully resembled Baekhyun’s heart, Chanyeol noted. Baekhyun was furious he couldn’t able to assemble the tiny bit of his tattered heart, and it was all Chanyeol’s undoing.
Chanyeol crouched to his knee and picked one of the many glasses on the floor. “I eventually come into understanding that my parents both are selfish, too. I’ve come to a point of knowing that a relationship isn’t all full of roses. I hurt myself and unintentionally hurt everyone around me, too.”
Glancing up at Baekhyun, Chanyeol continued. “These five years weren’t all fun. I couldn’t force myself to reply an email knowing you guys deserve to scream at me till your voices get so hoarse because I’m being the ungrateful bastard.”
“That’s right, ungrateful bastard.” Baekhyun marched down and hit Chanyeol in his jaw, hard. He forgone the slight pain in his feet in favor of watching Chanyeol picked himself up on his hands and knees.
Chanyeol gasped and coughed up blood, his lips curled in feral grin. If he though Baekhyun might launch another attack, he was sorely mistaken. Baekhyun was eyeing and waiting for him to do something. “Did you really do it with Jongdae?”
Baekhyun was silent. His eyes were calculating each move Chanyeol made. He wished he could have crack Chanyeol’s skull open, if not for the violent crime would put him behind bars. Perhaps he could stab Chanyeol then deposited him in his bathroom, poured all ices on the bathtub and left him dying to freeze. It wasn’t that horrid of a crime scene he supposed, with blood clogged up only in the bathroom.
Baekhyun flinched when sharp pain invaded his senses. His hand flung for a purchase as if anything solid he could perceive by his touch would relieve him. And that was what he aimed for, but something warmth gripped his hand instead.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you.” said Chanyeol. “You’re bleeding.”
They were now on the floor, sitting side by side. Dazed, Baekhyun gazed at Chanyeol’s hand on his before realizing his hand was perfectly unmarred. When another faint throbbing assaulted Baekhyun again, he abruptly released his hand from Chanyeol. In an act of calming his unnerving nerves, he busied himself with the wound on his underside of his left foot.
“You’re getting attentive,” Baekhyun simply said. He noticed the dry blood on one shard of glasses in the floor. He chuckled to himself, thinking maybe now his senses were all numb he could answer Chanyeol’s question earlier. He got the weirdest idea that it would at least satisfy his odd thirst for revenge.
Chanyeol gave Baekhyun a shrug. “I’ve got five years lessons under my belt.” It was a statement neither meant great achievement nor counted as less appreciated.
“I’m sure it is,” said Baekhyun.
Baekhyun then moved to straddle Chanyeol, eliciting a gasp from the taller male. He pressed his hips into Chanyeol’s, moving forcefully with power. He grinned when Chanyeol got excited though the man was panting breathlessly, one hand clutching tightly at Baekhyun’s biceps as if that should stop the singer.
Baekhyun rested his hand on Chanyeol’s thigh, slowly working his way into the pyjama’s pant. As he continued to massage the entire length of Chanyeol’s arousal, he pulled down Chanyeol’s loose-fitting garment and underwear off. Baekhyun bent down and took Chanyeol in his mouth, hard and thick, sucking till completion.
Baekhyun felt Chanyeol shaking as waves after waves of release plunged down his throat and he lapped greedily, as much as he could without choking himself. He released the softening shaft with a ‘pop’ sound, pulling himself away off Chanyeol’s lap.
Leaning back against the cabinet behind him, Baekhyun took care of his problem. He was breathing heavily when he realized he was close, just a couple of tugging would be enough.
“No, let me,” Chanyeol interrupted.
Baekhyun let him. He didn’t care, only because his orgasm was far better delicious to simply let anything else taking it away from him. Chanyeol’s calloused hand was perfect, Baekhyun noted in his haziness. He groaned at the sheer pleasure when everything inside him exploded like fireworks.
The gentle caress of Chanyeol’s lips on his prompted Baekhyun to respond, despite he was light-years away from his own mind. His brain couldn’t catch up fast enough like how his body intended to react.
When Baekhyun came back, he merely pulled away. Chanyeol, in his bliss it seemed as the taller had his both hands entangled in Baekhyun’s hair, popped open his eyes in confusion. Baekhyun forced his legs to stand and ignored everything he felt about the exertion he did on Chanyeol and Chanyeol him.
Baekhyun walked off under his wobbly legs, and rambled. “Need the bathroom… Right, there is.”
Chanyeol sighed visibly, his head thud behind him. Albeit he winced at the pain in his skull, he merely wallowed in pity. For a brief moment, Chanyeol just sat there unmoving and half naked, until his eyes swept upon the mess on his kitchen floor.
Chanyeol got to his feet, pulling his pant back up to his hips. He gathered all the glass shreds, leaving it in his dustpan near the bin and wiped the bloody-stained floor clean. Then, he decided he should seek Baekhyun out, if he wouldn’t want to melt his brain in frenzy.
Chanyeol rapped the bathroom’s door, after a while standing in the hallway like an idiot. “You’re all right in there?”
“Fine,” Baekhyun replied back, whispering it seemed more like it though, as if his nose was all stuffed for coming down with flu.
A moment later, Chanyeol saw the bathroom handle turned unlocked. He waited but when Baekhyun didn’t seem to come out from behind the door, he moved forward. The singer had his legs close to his chest, sat unbothered on the cold blue tile.
“The one time I tried to have it a go with Jongdae, we agreed to drugged ourselves a little bit,” said Baekhyun, laughing a little. “Well, it was the only one time. Joonmyun miraculously got the wind of it during the second. I couldn’t proceed for the third and Jongdae was too pitifully sober I couldn’t want us to relish everything. If he was ever sober.”
Chanyeol made himself comfortable leaning against the wall of the bathroom. He didn’t seem want to break the trance Baekhyun was settled in. “Jongdae didn’t remember?”
“He said it was all fuzzy but he knew what happened, that I did it with him. He wouldn’t mind if I did want it again.” Baekhyun laughed a bit louder this time. “Who’s he trying to kid? That stupid and annoyingly caring guy is too hopeless.”
“Do you felt guilty for that?”
“Jongdae wouldn’t want me, too.”
Chanyeol, quite frankly, knew he didn’t want to delve deeper into Baekhyun relationship with Jongdae - it was undoubtedly hurt him - yet he couldn’t move past whatever it was between Baekhyun and him without talking about that first.
“How are you feeling now?” Chanyeol sincerely hoped his voice was a normal tone.
“Feel like a shit,” said Baekhyun. “Especially now that I notice you’re standing far across from me, with your insanely bright eyes in concerned. Would you want me back?”
Chanyeol gulped, but did not hesitating. “I do, if you want the same.”
Baekhyun snorted. “I vowed myself once that you’d be the one I left behind if I get the chance. But I’m tired now. I can’t promise I would be the toy you want and I know you’re going to leave me again if you want.”
“You are not my toy.” Chanyeol had to grit his teeth together to not lash out at Baekhyun. He wanted to shake the other man so badly to see how sorry he was for leaving and hurting him. “You would never be my toy. I would never call you a toy, or anyone else for that matter. I know I’m wrong and I’m sorry if my actions have you judge yourself as such.”
Baekhyun released a painful breath, shuddering. If Chanyeol didn’t know better, he might think the singer was on the brink of his death.
“Then what was that earlier?” Baekhyun was quivering, his voice shaky.
“You’re proving a point and able still to blow my mind. I know I miss you and your touch, terribly.”
“What about now?”
Chanyeol bit his inner cheek. He would not launch himself to Baekhyun and wrap the treasured man in his arm. He would wait for Baekhyun to calm himself together, he would wait like how Baekhyun did, or longer, if that what it took to be with him again.
“I understand if you have no incline to start it again with me. But I want us to try. I couldn’t change the past, Baekhyun, but I can be more understanding of situation, of you and everyone else now. You and I, we’re both can fix this, if you want.”
“No,” Baekhyun said resolutely. “We’re not broken. There’s nothing to fix.”
Chanyeol’s face fell, crest-fallen. He had to force his throat to spit a word, or something before Baekhyun had a chance to humiliate his further. Might as well he earned that mortification, if he could help it he shouldn’t face it unprepared.
“I understand.” Chanyeol’s voice broke however, but he masked it flawlessly with a genuine concern of his own. “Did you have something for your foot? I have the first-aid kit somewhere in here.” Chanyeol moved him legs and rummaged the cupboard behind the mirror and kicked himself when his eyes found the kit was sitting innocently on top of the wooden shelf beside the mirror.
Chanyeol brought the kit down to the tile-floor and handed septic bottle and plaster to Baekhyun. “You’ve cleaned the wound, I assume?”
As Baekhyun reached for the items from Chanyeol, the taller thought he should leave the singer to attend the wound alone. Or so he could mourn over his grief properly.
“Ask me for dates.”
“Really?” Chanyeol hadn’t grasped that actually. His mouth simply reacted the way his brain needed couple of seconds to connect the hint Baekhyun said. “We could do this again, really?” Chanyeol was beyond thrilled when he saw Baekhyun smiled at him.
“If you realize I can actually walk out of your life the way you did me, yeah we can.”
“I won’t let you walk away from me then,” Chanyeol assured himself.
“You shouldn’t be,” Baekhyun nodded, more to himself. “Come on, help me with this wound.”
“’Aye, captain.” Chanyeol whistled, grinning like a fool despite the bruise that started to form on his jaw skin. He applied the septic liquid to Baekhyun’s wound before sealing it with the plaster. He disposed the kit back on the shelf before turning back to face Baekhyun. “So, a date next Thursday?”
Yes, nothing will guarantee that Baekhyun and he could work this again, but he was willing to make efforts the way he didn’t dare five years ago.