Comments | baehj2915: Deleted Scene: Avalanche. Mohinder's POV-Sylinder Series outtake.

baehj2915

Deleted Scene: Avalanche. Mohinder's POV-Sylinder Series outtake.

Mar 29, 2008 16:36

Title: Avalanche
Author: JLB
Rating: PG-13 for swearing and talking
Summary: Deleted Scene from my unnamed Sylinder Series. In Mohinder's POV, cause I've been thinking it's necessary. Mohinder goes through a lot of emotions in a short amount of time, and comes to a conclusion of sorts.
Other Notes: I was strongly influenced by "Avalanche" by ( Read more... )

heroes, sylinder series, deleted scenes, mylar

Comments 30

levitatethis March 30 2008, 04:54:19 UTC

Okay, it's really late at night or really early morning (depending on how you want to look at this) and I don't want to forget any of my points while I'm reading this so I'm attempting to make them as I go along ( ... )

baehj2915 March 30 2008, 05:49:23 UTC

great points as usual, doll. you even put into words some things that I wasn't even consciously thinking about until after I wrote it. like how you noted how Elle sees him. when I was writing, I was just focusing on Mohinder's perception of himself and then how Elle was trying to understand a new sort of friendship with him. The two just meshed to turn into the things that Sylar had done to him.

I'm so glad you got so much out of it and you feel a little bit more hopeful about Mohinder now. Thanks so much for the comments, my darling. They've really kept me going on this fic. :D

JLB

ibroketuesday March 30 2008, 05:50:10 UTC

The bit where Mohinder wrapping his arms around himself because he can pretend someone else is there for him... oh. Wow. Something that has always struck me about Mohinder is his intense loneliness and isolation, even in situations where he should have support, so the simple acknowledgment that he has no one there to comfort him in this terrible situation was very powerful for me.

This entire deleted scene was excellent. You portrayed Mohinder's emotional breakdown in a striking and realistic way, while still keeping him very Mohinder. I was worried about that, after he appeared to break after the end of the chapter four, but you've really pulled it off well.

I'm loving this whole series and am looking forward to the next installment!

baehj2915 March 30 2008, 05:58:22 UTC

thank you so much for saying that about Mohinder's isolation and loneliness! I feel the same way. and it makes me feel really bad on a level I can't even control. Because I'm always trying to give Mohinder a friend, even though he sucks with people, like hardcore. I did it like three times in Mis, Misn't, and even here. I don't even try to do those things.

But thanks for the comments. I really appreciate it! <3

JLB

ibroketuesday March 30 2008, 07:04:33 UTC

I've said before that I'm dying to see Mohinder get one good, true friend, someone he can rely on for support - but that's the warm, maternal side of me speaking, and it's notoriously small. Really, I want him to stay the lonely soldier forever, because I love the way he stays defiant and brave and stubborn and keeps battling on for what's right, even though he never really gets help or credit. It's part of the tragedy and the romance of the character.

Ah... sorry for the random Mohinder fangasm.

helen_damnation March 30 2008, 11:40:37 UTC

Wow. I mea, wow. Wow. Just... Wow.

It's good to see what Mohinder feels about all this. I absolutely adore your Elle.

baehj2915 March 30 2008, 16:56:51 UTC

thank you for the 'wow's!! :D

JLB

doctor_caduceus March 30 2008, 12:59:07 UTC

Excellent use of Elle. And as much as I usually love the Sylar/Mohinder pairing, I hope she manages, somehow, miraculously, to fry him into a crispy, lanky little psycho lump of charcoal.

baehj2915 March 30 2008, 16:58:15 UTC

hahahaha... i love the descriptors for that charcoal. lol.

thanks for the comments and reading!

JLB

carmexgirl March 30 2008, 15:11:16 UTC

I keep reading these despite myself, and every one just keeps getting better and better. Mohinder's rationalisation for his situation - he gets hurt, so one-one else has to die, is simultaneously heartbreaking and frustrating. He puts himself through all kinds of torture, both physical and mental, in order to serve a purpose that possibly only he understands. You made me feel so bad for Mohinder during the last installment, because I thought he had been completely broken and would now bend to Sylar's will completely - I'm glad to see that he is still relatively intact, and still runs with his convictions, however warped they may be, and however much he hates himself now ( ... )

baehj2915 March 30 2008, 17:05:33 UTC

that's completely fine! it's just a similar theme. and with a different pairing the story is necessarily very different. i'm glad my story was that inspirational. :D

And please do keep reading, even if it hurts your insides. I promise a much less heart-wrenching ending to the series than the way part four and the deleted scene went.

but thank you very much for your kind words and love of the story. (subliminal messages make you a mylar fan against your will (much like mylar sex!))

JLB