Alpacas Are Not To Be Messed With
pg-13, richkris, word vomit (none shall beta this)
Rona doesn’t care that she’s going on a date with Kris Wu tonight. Why? Because she finds him totally annoying and she'd rather not talk about it anymore because it gets on her nerves. She doesn’t even care if she had a tiny crush on him before but lately he just seemed annoying and that just overpowers her minute feelings.
Why did she say yes to Kris asking her out? Because Baekhyun had been the one who cheered Kris to ask her out, it would kill Baekhyun to find out that his efforts of helping Kris get some balls to ask a girl out backfire.
Oh how she wishes Baekhyun were the one who asked her out, but unfortunately, Baekhyun is as straight as the globe and he only cares about his box of assorted eyeliners.
A few minutes more before he arrives yet Rona is still sitting on the edge of her bed, a laptop comfortably residing on her lap. She’s reading fan fiction again, NC-17 ones this time since she decided that Baby’s Breath wasn’t good for her heart.
She was about to squeak at the ridiculously lewd part when she hears someone knocking at her door. She holds her breath and listens to the uneven banging.
“Get out already!” she hears a familiar voice call out from the other side. “Kris is here! Don’t make me drag you out!”
Rona groans and notices the small little clock on the bottom right of her screen. It reads 7:24pm.
He’s early. She rolls her eyes and closes her laptop mercilessly tossing it aside. When she looks up she sees Kris staring at her weirdly (with his weird gummy smile) before he forcibly drags her out of the house and pushing her into his car.
Rona thinks she’s going to scream bloody murder before he kisses her hastily.
She takes that back, she’s going to kill some fluffy unicorns tonight.
--
Rona snaps out of her reverie screaming when Kris, her long time husband, dabs some pistachio ice cream on her nose. She finds herself back in the restaurant where they’re having their anniversary dinner since Kris thought the young ones were annoying as hell and they should have some alone time too (thus Royce and some annoying girl from down the street ended up looking after them).
“You were spacing out again.” Kris laughs and Rona cringes when he flashes one of his gummy smiles. He thinks he’s still attractive even if he’s wrinkly as prune! She sighs and grabs Kris’s man purse and stands up.
“What’s wrong?” He asks, alarmed.
“Nothing. I want to get back home. My crias might miss me.”
“No they won’t. Royce is there with,” Kris pauses, thinking. “Who’s that girl again? From down the street?”
“Oh my god, you don’t even know her name,” Rona points accusingly at him. Kris stands up and grabs his keys.
--
The two of them were rushing up to their front door when they heard glass breaking and a cacophonic scream. It takes Kris a few seconds to jam the key to the lock because his hands are shaking and it takes Rona five seconds to smack him in the head and open the door herself.
Everything is in utter chaos.
Her books are scattered around the house, pages bitten off and spat out. Her copies of fan fictions lying on the ground, pages mixing up because she thought it was a good idea to not staple them. The indoor plants they keep are now uprooted and nearly gone.
Rona's field of vision goes blurry, this is a nightmare. She is about to scream her lungs out when she sees Royce dashing madly for comfort behind them. “Rona! They’ve gone wild!”
Rona looks at her as if she’s going crazy then they hear the sound of a chainsaw cutting through wood and a girl running out the main door screaming.
“FUCK! THE ALPACAS FOUND THE CHAINSAW! EVACUATE THE PREMISES!”
a/n:
-THIS IS NOT LONG ENOUGH
-this is what happens when Rona leaves Royce and me in a conversation.
-if you’re confused, yes, Rona and Kris had alpacas for children. We adopted for them.
-PLEASE SPREAD THE RICHKRIS (rich kid rona and kris) SHIP. SRY NOT SRY.
-Amen.