Tilted (9/15)
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It was one of those rare mornings that Sehun got to work earlier than normal and Joonmyun and Yixing got there later than normal, making all of them right on time. Sehun and Yixing took the elevator up to the office together, not really exchanging any words on the way or when they each set themselves up at their desks.
Yixing opened his spreadsheet that he’d been working on for the last week, finding the papers in the desk drawer that contained the data he’d need to copy into the computer. He draped his jacket (which he’d remembered to wear) over the back of his chair, glad that the heating had gotten fixed at the end of the week before.
He still wasn’t even close to finishing the spreadsheet, but the cells on the screen were all starting to blend together. His eyelids were drooping by mid-morning, and as it neared the end of the day, the level of motivation he still had was approximately zero. He glanced over at Sehun instead of continuing to type. He was reading something on his own computer screen, as usual, as he took a sip of coffee and ran a hand through his bangs, and Yixing marveled at the way Sehun’s hair flopped right back into place no matter how much he messed it up with his hand.
Suddenly, Yixing’s computer screen went black at the same time that the office was thrown into darkness.
“Are you fucking kidding me!” Sehun yelled from across the room. “I hadn’t saved that document yet!”
Yixing rubbed his temples. He hadn’t saved his document yet, either. “First no heat, now we have no electricity at all?” he complained out loud.
Sehun sighed. “I guess we should tell someone.”
“Maybe Joonmyun will know what to do,” Yixing said. “I’ll call him.” He pulled out his phone and dialed Joonmyun’s contact to find out that there was no service. His heart immediately started beating faster with the sudden flashback to the night when he first found himself in this world. “That’s weird...I have no service.”
“Let me try.”
Yixing could see the glow of Sehun’s phone in the dark. “I have no service either,” he proclaimed. “What the hell.”
“Well...I guess we have to do this the old-fashioned way,” Yixing said, standing up. He turned the doorknob and was met with resistance. “Um...Sehun? I think the door’s locked.”
“Are you sure? The last time you said that it was because you were turning the knob the wrong way.”
Sehun’s computer chair creaked as he got up. He crossed the room and tried the door himself, but was no more successful than Yixing. “I think it’s stuck,” he said reluctantly. “That happened once last winter too.”
Yixing’s teeth scraped across his lower lip. “What do we do?”
“Well, last time I was able to call one of the maintenance people to fix it, but at the moment...I don’t know.”
They stood there in silence for another moment before Yixing decided to sit down on the floor leaning against the wall. “Let’s just wait a few minutes. Maybe the power will come back on.”
Yixing didn’t realize Sehun had sat down next to him until he felt their thighs touch. He drew his knees up to his chest and wrapped his arms around them. The office somehow felt smaller in the dark.
He wondered for a moment if he could tell Sehun about why he was really here, and what had happened to him on March 31st. He had a perfect opportunity right now - Sehun had nothing to do except listen to him, and maybe he could finally get some more answers of his own. He tried to build up the courage to get the words out as they sat there silently. It was conspicuously soundless without the constant hum of the computers and suddenly the possibility that Sehun could hear his heartbeat and erratic breathing made him self-conscious.
“If it doesn’t come back on soon, I’m sure someone will come up here and find us eventually,” Sehun said, breaking the silence before Yixing could. “Especially if the power’s out in the whole building.”
“What if no one does? What if we die in here?” Yixing said melodramatically.
“I wouldn’t let you die,” Sehun said, and Yixing turned his head toward him even though they couldn’t see each other. “Then I’d have no one to do all my filing and data entry.”
Yixing blindly thrust out his fist and heard a grunt that let him know he hit his target. “Don’t forget making the copies and doing the shredding.”
Sehun laughed in that unexpectedly loud way of his that contrasted so much with his soft, deep voice.
“You’re different now, from when I first met you,” said Sehun when it was silent again.
“What do you mean?” Yixing asked.
“Well, for one thing, I don’t think you would have dared to punch me six months ago.”
Yixing laughed shortly. “I guess you’re right.” He paused for a moment before he said the next words that came to mind. “But I don’t think it’s me who’s changed.”
“Maybe we’ve both changed,” Sehun said. His voice was even softer, and a little shakier than Yixing had ever heard it.
He turned his head toward Sehun again. His eyes were starting to adjust to the darkness, but he couldn’t read his expression. In the next moment, he felt soft lips at the corner of his mouth. Yixing froze in place for a split second before he unthinkingly guided them to the middle of his own, pressing lightly back against their warmth.
Sehun’s lips parted to coax one of Yixing’s in between them. Sehun’s fingers were in his hair and Yixing’s mind was blank. He reached out sightlessly and his hand landed on Sehun’s knee. They pulled away slowly and the silence in the room was pronounced again until there was a knock at the door.
“Yixing? Sehun?” It was Joonmyun’s voice.
“We’re in here,” Yixing called, surprising himself with how out of breath he sounded.
“Uh, I think the door’s locked.”
“It’s stuck,” Sehun called back. “Try pulling on it really hard.”
“Oh…” Joonmyun yanked on the door and it opened, flooding the office with light from the hallway. “Wow. Um. Why are you two sitting on the floor in the dark?”
Yixing quickly stood up and Sehun scrambled to follow him.
“You mean you didn’t lose power in your office?” Sehun asked.
Joonmyun shook his head, still looking around in bewilderment. “No...I came up here because it was getting late and you weren’t answering your phone, Yixing, and Sehun didn’t pick up either.”
“We lost phone service too,” Sehun explained. “Are you telling me nothing like that happened anywhere else in the building?”
“Seems that way,” Joonmyun said, blinking at them both in disbelief. “That’s very weird. Well, maybe if you come out in the hallway, you’ll have enough service to call the maintenance department.”
Sehun nodded, heading outside to call and Yixing felt silly standing there in the dark so he followed him out.
“How long were you stuck in there with no power?” Joonmyun asked incredulously while Sehun was on the phone.
“Not too long,” Yixing answered even though it felt like it had been a year.
“They’re on it,” Sehun said, pocketing his phone. “We’re free to go.”
“Oh, good,” said Yixing. His gaze was bouncing all over the hallway, trying to look anywhere but at Sehun’s lips.
“You ready to go?” Joonmyun asked when Yixing finally noticed him trying to catch his eye.
Yixing nodded and they headed toward the elevator. “Yixing, could I talk to you for just a second?” he heard Sehun say right when the doors slid open.
He turned to Joonmyun and told him, “I’ll meet you down there.”
The elevator doors closed again, leaving the two of them alone and Yixing’s thoughts burst into a million directions. He had kissed Sehun. He was struggling to comprehend how that had even happened, and how he also really wanted it to happen again.
“Um, so...” Sehun began. “It’s Friday.”
Yixing didn’t know where he was going with this. “Yeah…”
“I just...wanted to ask if you had plans later, or if maybe you wanted to...have a drink or something.”
“Are you...asking me on a date?” Yixing asked, in a small voice.
“Well...I guess, yeah...if you want to. Only if you want to,” Sehun said quickly.
Yixing smiled and stifled the urge to laugh at him, not to mock him but just because he suddenly seemed so shy. “I would like that.”
Yixing felt it for the first time on that night he and Sehun walked into the jazz club together. The feeling that he was being followed.
It wasn’t the kind of feeling that you’d get walking on the city streets alone at night - not overwhelming, or even threatening in any sense.
It was subtle, almost flirtatious, like the feel of someone’s eyes on him from across the room, just waiting for him to turn and look back at them, to invite him over with a quick glance and a quirk of his lips.
His phone buzzed in his hand and he glanced down at it to see a text from Joonmyun, asking what time he’d be home. Joonmyun wasn’t working at the club that night, and he’d looked curiously at Yixing when he’d told him he’d be meeting up with Sehun to “discuss business.” He wasn’t even sure why he’d lied. Joonmyun was the one who’d hired Sehun, after all, he knew that he looked favorably upon him at least most of the time, but somehow Yixing got the feeling he wouldn’t approve if he knew the whole story.
He paused for a moment before replying. He didn’t feel right, not telling Joonmyun the whole truth about him and Sehun, especially because of all the other things he wasn’t able to tell him the whole truth about. But then his thumbs flitted across the keypad. Not late, he assured him, and decidedly pocketed the phone for the rest of the night.
“What do you want to drink?” Sehun asked him, bringing him back to the present moment. “Don’t be cheap, I’m buying.”
Yixing laughed a little, watching Sehun quickly type something out on his own phone before setting it down on the table. “Just a glass of soju, please.”
“Boring.” Sehun sighed dramatically but he agreed. “Be right back.”
Yixing drummed his fingers on the table lightly as he waited for his ‘date’ to return. He wasn’t sure he’d ever get used to calling Sehun that in his head, but his cheeks felt warm when he did.
Suddenly, the phone on the table caught Yixing’s eye. The display hadn’t gone to sleep when Sehun had put it down, and a new message was blinking on the screen. He didn’t mean to read it, but it was staring him right in the face.
Lu Han: i need to talk to you. now
Me: i’m on a date, luhan
Lu Han: it’s important.
Yixing chewed his lip as he glanced toward the bar and spotted Sehun waiting in line. Almost before he even knew what he was doing, he snatched the phone up and began typing out a message to Lu Han.
Me: what is it?
Yixing pushed the phone a little ways away from him on the table as he waited for a reply. It came not even thirty seconds later.
Lu Han: better not tell you over text, but my job is finished. i’ll be sending back the files tonight.
Yixing stared at the message. It was cryptic, but Yixing had to wonder if “the files” meant those pages from the bottom drawer. He spotted the back of Sehun’s dark chestnut head at the bar again. He was now holding two drinks in his hands and Yixing hastily deleted the conversation up to where Sehun had left off.
His heart was still beating frantically when Sehun sat back down. “I thought you thought soju was boring,” Yixing said, looking at the identical glass Sehun had set down for himself.
Sehun shrugged. “I wanted to have what you were having,” he said, tossing his bangs out of his eyes. “At least it’s not red wine.”
Yixing laughed at that, resisting the urge to keep checking over his shoulder. The other people around them didn’t seem to take the slightest interest in the two of them, but he couldn’t shake the feeling that they were being watched. He tried to tell himself it was because he’d just hijacked Sehun’s phone and he felt understandably guilty about it.
“There’s something I’ve been wondering for a while,” Yixing admitted. He knew what he was about to say probably wasn’t normal first date conversation, but after what just happened, he couldn’t help it. “Since we...had that other conversation, about the Legend of the Guardians, I’ve wanted to know how the Enforcers do their job?”
Sehun’s eyes got bigger as Yixing went on. He watched the soju slosh around in his glass for a moment before answering. “Well...it’s like I told you before, how Guardians are able to detect a certain kind of energy. The Enforcers are able to manipulate it, to move all a person’s energy across worlds.”
Yixing nodded slowly. He supposed it made sense. In a crazy, mythical legend type of way.
Sehun took a long drink from his glass. “Sorry, I’m not great at um...explaining this.”
“You did a pretty good job,” Yixing said, and Sehun smiled at him, but his features had taken on a faraway sort of expression.
The conversation moved to more mundane topics after that, but Yixing thought it was nice. Even though they spent almost the whole day together at work every day, they never got a chance to talk like this, like friends, like...maybe something more.
Sehun’s apartment was on the way to the train Yixing would take to get home. He stopped his thoughts for a moment to wonder when he’d started calling Joonmyun’s apartment home, but he didn’t have time to ruminate on it for long.
“Do you...want to come in?” Sehun asked him as they walked up the steps.
“Maybe just for a minute,” Yixing agreed, trying to act like that question didn’t make his heart bounce all over his ribcage.
The inside of Sehun’s place was small, but it was less shabby than the outside. It was very clean, with none of the clutter that he’d gotten used to from living with Joonmyun. He took the glass of water Sehun offered him and let himself be led him around on the short tour, which could be more or less completed while standing in the same spot.
“I should go soon,” Yixing said after another minute. It was starting to sink in how, as amazing as this was and how long it had taken them to get to this point, Sehun didn’t know that he didn’t belong in this world. “Thank you, for tonight.”
Sehun kissed him softly, smiling gently against Yixing’s lips. They were less bold than they’d been in the office, maybe because the lights were on now, but Sehun’s touch already felt familiar to Yixing, like he’d been waiting for it and reimagining it since the first time.
He pulled away a little sooner than he wanted to. If everything Sehun and Zitao had told him really was true, he would be leaving on the next blue moon, a little over a year from now. That was plenty of time to fall in love, but also more than enough time for hearts to get broken.
“Sehun,” he said quietly, their lips still just brushing against each other. “I can’t do this unless I tell you something,” Yixing said with his eyes closed. He opened them after a moment when Sehun didn’t say anything. He was just watching him, waiting for him to continue. Yixing hoped that he would be able to. He forced the rest of the words out. “I...wasn’t born here.”
Sehun blinked at him. “I know that, Xing. You’re from Ch--”
“No,” Yixing interrupted, trying to say what he needed to before he could stop himself, “I mean, I’m from a parallel world.”
Sehun sat down at the kitchen table, staring at Yixing with an unreadable expression.
Yixing slowly sat down across from him. “I like what we have. So I had to tell you.”
“Does anyone else know?” Sehun asked. “Does Joonmyun?” He looked very pale and suddenly Yixing wondered if he should have just kept this to himself. He shook his head.
Sehun didn’t ask, but Yixing launched into the story of what happened the night of the last blue moon, and he listened with rapt attention. It was a relief to finally tell someone, after all this time.
“Yixing, if you’re telling the truth, if this isn’t all some kind of elaborate lie…” Sehun said when he finished.
“I wish it was,” said Yixing.
“We can’t be together,” was the next thing Sehun said.
Yixing twisted his fingers around each other underneath the table. “I thought you might say that. I know it’s hard, because I’ll have to leave, but maybe--”
“No, Yixing, it’s more than that,” Sehun said, his dark locks of hair falling in front of his eyes. “It’s...dangerous.”
Yixing’s eyebrows jumped closer together. “What is?”
“You...and me.” Sehun covered his face and sighed. “If you get too attached to this world, like you get too close to someone, or...or you love someone...crossing back over to your world might separate you from your own soul.”
“I don’t understand. You mean I could die?”
“Splitting your soul is like...well...it’s like dying, but it’s worse,” said Sehun. “And it happens if you belong in one world, but you’ve made a life in another.”
There was a silence while Yixing processed this. “So what should I do?” he asked in the small voice that was starting to feel familiar to him now.
“You have to cut your ties to this world,” he said, and Yixing wasn’t sure if he was imagining it but he thought that Sehun’s eyes looked glossy. “And to me. So...I’m sorry, Yixing, but you’re fired.”
Yixing opened his mouth, but no words came out.
Sehun stood up, and Yixing got the sense that he was putting his icy armour back on and he was looking at the old Sehun again.
Yixing stood up too. As much as he wanted to go home, it was like Sehun said - part of him had found another home here...with him, and Yixing wasn’t going to let go so easily. “So that’s it? There’s nothing we can do?”
“I’m sorry,” he said again, “but this is the way it has to be.” He walked slowly to lead Yixing to the door.
Yixing hesitated before following him, feeling like the conversation wasn’t finished but he didn’t know what else to say at the moment. Sehun seemed to know what he was talking about and what he said scared him enough that he didn’t know what to do except go along with it, at least until he could think of something better. Because he had to think of something better.
“I shouldn’t have thought I could...I don’t know why I let myself…” Sehun was muttering things under his breath that Yixing couldn’t really follow.
“I’m really sorry,” Yixing said as he stepped outside. “This was probably the worst first date ever.” He laughed humorlessly.
“I’ve had worse, to be honest,” Sehun said with a bittersweet smile. “Goodbye, Yixing.”
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