Nom de plume (3/5)
“Hey,” Luhan greeted him. He hoped he didn’t hear anything that had been said just now before Joonmyun came out. “You ready to go?”
Joonmyun nodded, taking the hand he offered and following him out to the car. It was a warm night and they drove with the windows down, parking on the street by a popular shopping area.
Luhan immediately wanted to go inside a small shop to look at hats, and he tried on about twenty similar caps with different anime characters on them. “I don’t know which one to buy,” he sighed eventually.
“The Hello Kitty one, definitely,” Joonmyun told him. Luhan punched him in the arm but actually did end up buying it.
A couple hours later saw Luhan wearing a new belt, a new necklace, and new sneakers, and Joonmyun carrying a few shopping bags of his own along with the one containing Luhan’s Hello Kitty hat inside a larger one of his. Joonmyun realized when they were on their way back to the car that he didn’t want to leave yet.
“I want bubble tea,” Luhan announced suddenly, as they spotted a stand a little ways ahead at the end of the street.
“Me too,” Joonmyun agreed and he felt a lurch in his chest as Luhan’s arm landed around his shoulders. They had only taken a few steps like that before the sky opened up and rain came streaming down without warning. They were soaked within seconds.
They practically sprinted back to Luhan’s car, but they were still sopping wet by the time they reached it. They clambered inside and shut the doors as fast as they could, panting.
“Nothing like a sudden downpour to keep things interesting,” Luhan said in amusement.
Joonmyun pouted. “We didn’t get to drink bubble tea though.”
“Shame,” Luhan agreed, laughing fondly as he reached over and pushed Joonmyun’s waterlogged bangs off of his forehead.
Joonmyun looked at the few small droplets of rain that clung to Luhan’s delicately curved mouth and leaned forward, unable to resist the urge to kiss them off. Luhan deepened the kiss, closing his hand tighter in the wet strands of Joonmyun’s hair.
They pulled apart slowly, damp foreheads touching. “Do you...want to come over to my place for a drink instead?” Luhan asked quietly. Joonmyun thought he could pick up a slight tremor in his voice. Was Luhan nervous? Well, this was interesting. He was tempted to tease him again like he had when Luhan first asked him out, but instead he just fixed Luhan’s hair, dampened to a dark brown, like he had done to his.
“Sounds perfect,” he answered, slowly taking his hand back after he smoothed the rest of the hair down.
Luhan started the car and his mouth quirked shyly upwards. Joonmyun watched the windshield wipers flick the water to the edges of the glass as they drove, heart beating rapidly inside his chest.
“This is it,” Luhan said, leading him through the hallway of his building and stopping in front of an apartment that didn’t look unlike Joonmyun’s own. He unlocked the door and Joonmyun was a little surprised at how simple and neat Luhan’s place was. The walls and furniture were mostly white or navy blue, and there wasn’t one Hello Kitty or Pikachu decoration in sight. It was small, but there was a deliberate space for everything; nothing seemed crammed in.
“Nice place,” Joonmyun commented, stepping out of his shoes and dropping his bags near the door while Luhan chose a bottle from a wooden wine rack and poured two glasses.
“Thanks. Have a seat.” He handed a glass to Joonmyun and led him over to the living room where they sat on a sofa in front of a glossy wooden coffee table.
“So how’s your writing lately? You haven’t shown me anything new in a while,” Luhan said curiously as he brought his glass to his lips.
“I know,” said Joonmyun. “I haven’t added to the manuscript in a while, actually.”
A delicate kind of silence eventually settled over them once they finished their second and then started on their third glasses while sitting close together, Luhan’s right thigh touching his left.
A small bookshelf next to the sofa caught Joonmyun’s eye as he sipped his wine and his eyes widened when he saw a whole row containing all of Suho’s books, the colorful spines arranged neatly in order of publication.
“Wow, you have all of these?” Joonmyun observed out loud, getting up to move closer and Luhan stood up too to see what he was looking at. He pointed to the shelf and Luhan walked around to stand in front of it.
“Yeah. You read Suho too?” Luhan asked, picking up one of the paperbacks and flipping through it absentmindedly.
Joonmyun gnawed his lip interestedly. He’d thought he would tell Luhan about having a pen name at some point, but he hadn’t expected him to actually have heard of him. “I didn’t know he was so famous,” Joonmyun said, heartbeat quickening with the anticipation of what else Luhan might say about Suho.
Luhan laughed a little. “Well, you’re learning new things every day, aren’t you?”
Joonmyun waited for further commentary, but Luhan set the book down on an endtable and placed his hands on the sides of Joonmyun’s arms instead. Their lips met a little clumsily before Joonmyun reached up to lay his hand over the back of Luhan’s neck and gently pulled him down a little further.
They eventually fell in a half-controlled way back onto the couch, Luhan moving his lips over Joonmyun’s neck down to the dip above his collarbone. After a few minutes of making out like this, Joonmyun took a chance at sliding his hands over the warm skin underneath Luhan’s loose t-shirt where he had been holding onto his hips.
Luhan didn’t miss a beat in pulling the shirt over his head and discarding it somewhere over the back of the couch. He attached his lips to Joonmyun’s again as he slowly made to unbutton his shirt too. Joonmyun shrugged himself out of the button-up without breaking the kiss and a delicious shiver trickled over his body at the feel of Luhan’s bare skin against his. As Luhan finally separated their mouths, Joonmyun’s pants were becoming uncomfortably tight, just from this.
"God, you're just..." Luhan broke off the sentence to pull Joonmyun into another deep, heated kiss. "Beautiful," he finished, looking down at him from where he was straddling his hips. "Beautiful and talented, a rare combination."
Joonmyun panted a little as he smiled back up at him, not even sure what to say. "Did you really think I have a good start on the story?" Joonmyun breathed, almost in awe. "I probably need to improve on the--”
Luhan shut him up with another press of lips, laying a hand on his cheek this time. “Are you really still thinking about that right now?" he chortled.
"Sorry," Joonmyun mumbled, also starting to laugh. "Not...entirely," he amended, his voice a little scratchier as Luhan undid the button on Joonmyun's jeans, pressing a kiss to his jawline. "Not really at all, actually," he practically moaned when Luhan dragged down the zipper and his hand met the arousal there.
“Good.” Luhan laughed against Joonmyun's adam's apple. "I think you’re working too hard.”
"Yeah, maybe," Joonmyun conceded, sliding his fingers through Luhan's silken hair and dropping his head back as Luhan continued to kiss down his neck.
"Let me take care of you tonight," Luhan whispered.
Joonmyun’s breath caught in his throat and he just nodded, not even trusting his voice at this point.
“Can I?” Luhan asked, even more quietly, starting to ease Joonmyun’s pants down his thighs.
“Yes...please...” Joonmyun managed, making eye contact with Luhan through the still slightly damp hair that fell in his eyes.
Luhan slipped his hand inside Joonmyun’s underwear, bringing him off with deliberate strokes and muffling the small sounds Joonmyun made with kisses. The tension in his body mounted with each slide of Luhan’s warm palm and tease of his thumb. The usual whirrings of Joonmyun’s mind were wondrously silent when the rest of the world seemed this far away. Luhan had his other hand behind Joonmyun’s head, fondling the strands of his hair comfortingly and Joonmyun’s mind was wiped euphorically blank for a few moments as he came undone underneath him.
They laid still for a minute, Joonmyun panting harshly into Luhan’s neck. His hand still rested against Joonmyun’s bare hip.
“Bedroom?” Luhan asked in a whisper, lips brushing against his ear. He was hard against his thigh and Joonmyun weakened with the still somewhat surreal thought that Luhan really wanted this as much as he did. He used his slowly returning strength to tilt his head upward and connect their lips again, not knowing at the moment how to give his answer in words.
The surreal feeling was still with him even as he woke up in Luhan’s bed. He turned over to see Luhan still asleep with his face smushed against his pillow, the arm he had thrown over Joonmyun shifting off him a little as he moved.
He thought that if he could stay lying here indefinitely, that would be pretty okay with him. He closed his eyes again, trying to drift back to sleep, but his throat was distractingly parched. He contemplated getting up to get a glass of water when he felt Luhan shift beside him.
“Good morning,” Luhan murmured, eyes blinking open slowly before closing again, a smile playing on his lips.
“Morning,” Joonmyun replied, voice scratchy and he cleared his throat. “I’m just going to get some water,” he whispered.
Luhan murmured something incoherent that sounded like “too early” into the pillow and Joonmyun chuckled to himself as he slid off the bed and padded into the kitchen.
Looking out the window of the apartment at the busy streets below them brought him back down to reality somewhat. He had taken two sips of water when he realized he had never gotten back to his publicist and confirmed the interview had taken place the other day like he was supposed to.
“Luhan, can I use your laptop really quick?” he called from the doorway.
“Yeah, knock yourself out,” Luhan replied sleepily.
Joonmyun made his way over to Luhan’s desk, eager to get this email sent out and then have the rest of the morning free to sleep, and when they woke up for real maybe they’d take a shower...he forced his thoughts to end there as he opened the internet browser.
What he saw when the home page loaded sent his heart into such a frenzy of beating that he could feel it pounding all the way in his throat.
Welcome, TheWolf88. You are logged in.
Joonmyun struggled to swallow, his throat suddenly dry again even though he’d just gotten a drink.
“Hey,” Luhan called softly. “It’s still early. Come back to bed.”
Thirty seconds ago, Luhan saying that in his still rough morning voice would have gotten 110% of Joonmyun’s attention. Now, however, it barely penetrated his consciousness as he stared uncomprehendingly at the harsh glow of the laptop screen, not wanting to believe what he was seeing.
But there was no mistaking it; the bold print didn’t disappear no matter how many times Joonmyun refocused his eyes.
“Lu-Luhan, I...” Joonmyun started to say, his voice coming out so weakly it was barely audible. He tried again, “I have to go.”
“What?” Luhan asked, sounding like he was yawning.
Joonmyun shut the laptop with a snap, jumping up from the desk.
Luhan’s sheets rustled behind him as Joonmyun hastily pulled clothes on. “Joonmyun, is everything alright?”
“I’m sorry, I...I have a work thing to get to today,” Joonmyun invented. “I completely forgot about it. Sorry.”
“Work?” Luhan’s voice sounded more alert now, if still monumentally confused. “But you work from home...I thought...wait...Joonmyun?”
Joonmyun had cleared the doorway of the bedroom before Luhan had even uttered the second syllable of his name. He darted into the living room to grab his now very rumpled shirt off the couch where he left it the night before and shrugged it on. He took in one more sweeping glance of the apartment, the empty wine glasses still on the coffee table, and the shelf full of Suho’s books before he stepped out into the hallway of the building and let the door click shut behind him.
He opened the door of his own apartment to find Jongdae lying on the couch with his eyes closed, an episode of a drama playing on the TV in the background. He leaned over the back of the couch to poke him in the side. “Jongdae, are you busy?”
“Yes, very. Can’t you tell?” Jongdae cracked one eye open and looked up at him.
“Do you think you could read over my manuscript sometime soon?” Joonmyun asked, a note of desperation in his voice. “I’ve been kind of stuck.”
Jongdae sat up slowly and turned off the TV, lips upturned suggestively again. “Really? I thought you had a muse. How’d last night go, by the way? Should I bother asking? You’re just coming in now...”
“If you mean Luhan, yeah, um...I don’t know how to say this.” Joonmyun walked over to the kitchen and poured himself his second glass of water that morning, sounding a lot more casual than the circumstances would suggest. He looked at Jongdae over the kitchen counter. “Luhan’s The Wolf.”
Jongdae’s eyes widened to anime proportions. “What? You can’t be serious. Luhan is The Wolf?”
“Yeah, that’s right.” Joonmyun swallowed his sip of water and gave a short, bark-like laugh. “And do you know he actually gets paid now for writing those posts? There are ads on his blog now, and the view count is like... insane.” He gestured wildly with his glass of water and he was starting to sound a bit hysterical even to his own ears, but he couldn’t seem to stop himself. “I’m dating a guy who makes part of his livelihood insulting my livelihood on the goddamn internet. And now I can’t even think of anything to write that’s good enough to get back at him! This is perfect, Jongdae! My life is perfect!” he practically shouted, and Jongdae stared at him, looking rather shocked at hearing him raise his voice.
“Hey, at least we were right about it being a male,” he tried.
“Hardly comforting at this point.” Joonmyun smiled weakly, calming down. “But I appreciate the attempt.” He crossed the divider and sat down on the couch beside Jongdae. “You know...when he brought me back to his place last night, I saw that he had a collection of all my books.”
“He doesn’t know you’re Suho, does he?” Jongdae asked.
Joonmyun shook his head.
“Don’t be too upset, hyung,” Jongdae said eventually. “You show me that manuscript and I’ll take a look at it, see if we can’t figure something out that’ll knock Luhan’s socks off, okay? Okay.” He ruffled Joonmyun’s hair as he got up.
Joonmyun didn’t move from his position on the couch for a long time. He gripped his glass of iced water so tightly and held onto it for so long that his hand was starting to go numb from the cold.
It hadn’t been long ago that Luhan had been sitting across from him at the cafe table and complimenting his manuscript. Calling him beautiful and talented. Joonmyun pondered whether it was possible he was finally, truly on his way to writing a novel that The Wolf--Luhan--actually liked.
He didn’t allow himself to get too hopeful. He supposed Luhan could also have been trying to preserve his feelings.
He didn’t know what time it was when Jongdae appeared in the hallway again. “Hyung, are you alright?” he asked softly.
Joonmyun nodded, forcing his lips into a smile. He got up stiffly to pour out his mostly untouched glass of water. The ice cubes hit the sink with a metallic crash.
He passed by Jongdae on his way to the shower, giving his shoulder a grateful squeeze.
-
Joonmyun was back to square one, staring at the cursor blinking on his screen again when his phone vibrated and he snatched it off the desk.
Messages (1)
From: Luhan
hey ^^;; how’s the novel been coming along?
Joonmyun took uneven breaths as he stared the message. He couldn’t be sure, but it seemed like Luhan didn’t think anything was off. He sat unmoving for a moment before he started to type out a reply, but he deleted it before he had written more than “hey.” He realized he had no idea what he wanted to say to Luhan, or if he even wanted to talk to him at all.
Part of him wanted to go ahead and pretend nothing had changed. That part of him wanted to go back to how it was before he had seen Luhan’s blog on his computer, when he had still believed the other was impressed by his work. But there was another part of him too, and that part sort of wanted nothing to do with Luhan at the moment.
The duality was giving him a headache, so he clicked off his phone screen and tossed it onto the bed without replying for now. He needed to focus. But all that did was emphasize the fact that he was still having trouble writing and didn’t really want to answer Luhan’s question he had asked in the text anyway.
Joonmyun sighed, closing his laptop and flopping onto his bed where he’d more or less spent the entire last day and a half also, but he couldn’t really bring himself to care about his lack of productivity.
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