Comments | baeraad: Chapter nineteen: Coming

baeraad

Chapter nineteen: Coming

Dec 11, 2011 16:39

Only the epilogue left now.

Name: He Who Comes
Home: -
Caste: -
Lifestyle: -
Character: Artistic
Tragic Flaw: Arrogant
Demon points: 20
Talents: Epic Athletics, Basic Charm, Epic Perception
Skills: Advanced Entertain, Epic Fighting
Knowledge: Basic Lore, Basic Skulduggery
Powers: Epic Dominance, Advanced Mutation

( Witch Stone, chapter nineteen )

witch stone, nanowrimo, story

Comments 4

sunlit_music December 12 2011, 07:41:49 UTC

Go Dara...That was totally epic! So incredibly clever and inventive. :D

"Yeah, well, tough!" Dara yelled. "I'm She Who Turns Up And Makes You Go Away Again!

*rolls around laughing*

baeraad December 12 2011, 20:31:57 UTC

Hee! This is totally the scene where Dara gets her own back after fifteen chapters of the world walking all over her. :D

yahalomay December 31 2011, 01:26:57 UTC

"Hello, Major," she said with a pale smile. "Are you here to be my knight in shining armour?"
Rinabaar can be my knight in shining armour any day. XD

"I am confident that Mystic Dara knows what she's doing," Rinabaar said firmly.

"Yeah, well, I'm skeptical!" Aseena said. "Come on. We need to get to her right away!"

Heeeeeee. Aseena is the best.

"What are you doing?" she hissed. "Jalon..." She swallowed, the fact of what had happened to Jalon trying to break her composture. I thought that line and when Aseena realises that Jalon has turned into He Who Comes were a really powerful narrative pieces. Dara totally accepts that is happened - you can tell it bothers her, when He uses Jalon's smile, but she can compartmentalise it or pretend she doesn't care (she's taught herself that skill quite well...) - but for Aseena ... it's mind-rending. I thought the description of how Aseena felt (unable to process the apocalypse because Jalon's possession happened first; hating Dara for being able to be so gleeful when Jalon was possessed) was ( ... )

baeraad January 1 2012, 19:44:48 UTC

Rinabaar can be my knight in shining armour any day. XD

Hee hee, I'm glad he pleases. ;D

I thought the description of how Aseena felt (unable to process the apocalypse because Jalon's possession happened first; hating Dara for being able to be so gleeful when Jalon was possessed) was had a real impact.

Thank you, I'm glad you thought so. :D

This was actually part of my original idea for the story. It occurred to me one day that there are just so many stories where a female character gets killed or possessed or loses control of her superpowers or whatnot, and usually they focus on how the men around her deal with it emotionally. After a fashion, that's even the plot of FomF. And that made me want to write a story where a beautiful, beloved man gets taken over by an evil force, and which focused on how the women in his life dealt with it. It doesn't play as large a part of the story as I originally intended (Jalon was originally supposed to turn into He Who Comes much earlier), and of course I planned for Dara to be his girlfriend ( ... )