Fic: Two weddings and a Bachelor Party (SV/DC)
Here is the last of the "fics I'll never write" fics. By common demand, I present you:
Batman orders Clark to marry Lex to "keep him out of trouble."
Title: Two Weddings and a Bachelor Party
Rating: PG, humour
Fandom: Smallville/DC(extended Batfamily)
Length: 2308 words
Lex had been rather surprised to be invited to Bruce Wayne's bachelor party. Of course the news of Gotham City's most eligible bachelor's impending marriage had made the news for some weeks, and Lex had made his own cursory investigation into the matter, as he would have if it had been any other of his enemies or business partners. But hadn't expected to be invited.
The wedding would be a very private matter, with only the closest friends of the family invited - Lex read that as meaning 'every single cape in the nation' - but the bachelor party was a society event. It was a combined bachelor and bachelorette party and Bruce had apparently invited every single socialite and business magnate he could fit into the manor. Lex assumed that he had simply been invited because anything else would have caused suspicion and rumours. Of course so many rich and famous people in one spot were recipe for disaster, particularly in Gotham City.
Security detail was visible everywhere on the grounds as Lex arrived, but as soon as he forayed into the crowd, leaving Mercy behind at the door, Lex realized that the bodyguards were just for show.
As he crossed the room to shake hands with Bruce, Lex spotted eleven vigilantes in civilian disguise. Five more while he exchanged compliments with Bruce, among them Clark, glowering at him. Lex gave him a bland smile in return.
Lex thought he was the only supervillain - and although it was a ridiculous term, he knew that he couldn't be called anything else - among the crowd of hapless socialites and undercover heroes, until he happened upon Harvey Dent.
It was rather startling to pass by the buffet and suddenly bump into Two-Face and Bruce Wayne, the villain's hand resting on Bruce's shoulder as if they were the very best of friends. Two-Face wore a very respectable black tuxedo instead of his usual flashy white suit, but his horribly scarred and distorted face was the same as ever.
Even more surprising was Bruce, though. His cheeks were flushed and his eyes bright. He looked more than a little tipsy.
"Lex!" he exclaimed, with Brucie's jovial intonation. "Don't look so shocked, my man! Have you met Harvey Dent?"
Lex hid his surprise behind a smirk. "I believe so," he said. Dent had a very solemn expression, quite unlike Two-Face's manic glare. He held out a gnarled and disfigured hand and shook Lex's with grip that would have made a lesser man wince.
"Don't let yourself be distracted by Harvey's looks. It was an accident," Bruce said with the same blundering rudeness he usually displayed in his playboy persona. Lex had never seen anyone act drunk more convincingly.
"A friend of the bride, I assume?" he asked. She and Two-Face probably knew each other, the Gotham freaks all did.
Dent shook his head. Bruce grinned. "Harvey's my best man!"
Something passed over Dent's face, a darker shadow, turning his scarred features even more grim. Then, to Lex's surprise, his eyes became suspiciously shiny. His voice dropped a whole register to a growl. "It's going to be very strange to see him a married man," he said roughly. "Makes you feel old."
Bruce laughed and threw an arm around Dent's shoulders, steering him towards the buffet again. "Sorry, Lex," he slurred. "Gotta keep old Harvey from getting into one of his moods!"
Lex was left to stare at their backs bemusedly. He had a second look at the crowd then. Ah yes. A wonder he hadn't noticed them before - the petite blonde dancing with the red-head in the green dress. Poison Ivy and Harley Quinn, for once not wrecking havoc. Frowning, Lex drifted to the sidelines of the party, closer to the heavy curtains by the window, watching the guests sharply. What was Wayne's strategy? Had he invited all those villains to prevent an attack? It was a bit like inviting the wicked fairy to Sleeping Beauty's christening in the hope that she wouldn't curse the child.
Lex prided himself on knowing the civilian identities of most significant metahumans. That included the Gotham freaks, of course. It was harder to spot them than it was to spot the capes, though. Most vigilantes were afraid of being discovered and therefore self-conscious and awkward in their disguises. The villains, on the other hand, rarely showed such caution and moved much more naturally among the rich and famous.
There was the bride, of course, although rumour had it that she had reformed. And over there, looking deathly in a midnight blue dress, was Talia Al Ghul. Lex had had dealings with her. And the man in the bowler looked rather like Edward Nygma, although for once the eccentric headwear was not the Riddler's customary lime green but grey. The scowling young man with the whiskey glass looked rather like Jason Todd, who was rumoured to be Red Hood, and the young red-head who was talking to him might have been the civilian identity of Anarky. The tall Asian woman talking to Bruce's adopted son, Tim Drake, was Sandra Wu-San, the deadly assassin and martial arts teacher known as Lady Shiva. Lex gave a her a nod when she spotted him watching her, she had worked for him on several occasions, always to his satisfaction.
Looking for more surprising guests, Lex's eyes fell on Clark. Clark wasn't mixing with the crowd. Instead he stood by the staircase, arms crossed, staring at the party guests with a darkly unhappy frown.
Lex considered crossing the room and talking to him. The rules of the game had apparently been lifted for one night, and Lex was curious how it would be to talk to Clark without any of their usual reasons for talking, without any accusations to hurl at each other.
Clark was a lying, cowardly bastard, but Lex had learned to live with that. Although it had taken him years to accept it, Clark wasn't exactly the menace Lex had come to believe him to be early in their enmity. He was too powerful and too self-righteous, but he had no desire to rule in him, not one sliver of ambition. Unlike Lex, who had plenty of it.
So Clark was there to keep him from stepping over those last few boundaries that even Lex was afraid of overstepping, and Lex was there to keep Clark occupied and prepare for the eventuality that Clark would change his mind about ruling. They had a good balance. Lex supposed there were worse arch-enemies one could have.
The party went on, and the first guests started leaving. Lex chatted to a number of people, some of them amusing like Lois, some of them deeply annoying like Oliver Queen. Being mayor of Star City hadn't made the man any less unbearable. He danced with Talia while the last civilians filed out, only the capes and villains staying behind so late.
"A room full of lions, walking among the lambs," she purred into his ear, her foreign accent thick. "Wasn't it exciting?"
Lex replied with a chuckle. "They seem to be rather tame tonight."
"We all respect him." Her tone made it clear she was talking about Batman, not Bruce. She sounded just the tiniest bit wistful. Her long nails slid across Lex's shoulders. He reminded himself that it had only been a year since his last disastrous marriage. "He knows he's one of us just as much as he's one of them."
Years ago, Lex would have resented being thrown in with the freaks and criminals. But all the good causes, the reasons he'd had, had eventually turned to dust and nothing, to a bunch of excuses. He wasn't any better than his Dad in the end, only smarter and more dangerous.
In any case, he preferred being one of the lions to being one of the lambs, or even the sheep dogs.
"I'm leaving soon," Talia offered. He didn't take her up on it, and she didn't seem too disappointed.
He was watching her go, when suddenly loud voices came from the group of people standing at the end of the room, beneath the solemn portrait of the late Mr and Mrs Wayne. The crowd had thinned enough for Lex to see what was going on.
Harvey Dent had doubled over, clutching his right hand with a pained grimace, while Clark stood very straight, his cheeks flushed in anger. His glasses lay broken on the floor between them. By Dent's side stood Bruce, a bit unsure on his feet and looking just as furious.
"See, that's exactly why I didn't ask you to me by - be my best man!" Bruce hissed.
Clark raised his chin haughtily. "You're drunk."
Selina Kyle was approaching her fiancé from behind, but stopped at a few feet's distance, looking deeply amused. Diana of Themiscyra, on the other hand, looked shocked. Oliver Queen had a rather guilty expression on his face.
"At least I'm not a self-righteous asshole!" Bruce stepped forward, but Clark easily caught his fist in mid-swing. Panting, the billionaire seemed to collect himself and pulled back. "Look around you, Clark. Is that really all you see? Criminals?"
Clark crossed his arms. "Quite a few of them, actually." He glanced darkly at Harvey Dent. "So they can keep peace for a night. But you know exactly that they're going to relapse. They are criminals."
Lex was loathe to admit it, but he actually agreed with Clark. Most of Bruce's enemies were first grade psychos. And Talia and Lady Shiva, for example, didn't even need to relapse - they were still very much in business.
"And that's all they're ever going to be, if you don't let them be anything else," Bruce replied. The drunkenness wasn't gone, but it had turned into a dark fierceness. "Judgement isn't justice. That's why none of your villains ever change sides."
Diana stepped forward, clearly with the intent to calm the two men down, but Selina held her back, mouthing a few short words to her.
"So what am I supposed to do, Bruce? Marry Brainiac and hope he'll change his evil ways?"
"That's your excuse, Clark? That they're not human? It doesn't hold up very well, considering - "
"No, that's not my excuse!" Clark could shout when he wanted to. Lex had been on the receiving end many times. "Just watch me!"
He whirled around, and it that moment Lex realized he was in deep shit.
He was, after all, the only one of Clark's villains in the room.
Their eyes met, Clark's still blazing with fury, and Clark stalked towards him. Lex put on his aloof face, the one that said ' you can't prove me anything'. It wasn't going to help. Clark seemed to be barely aware of who he was talking to, all that mattered to him was to prove Bruce wrong.
Instead of going down on one knee - which would at least have been amusing - he grabbed Lex's right hand in his, nearly crushing it, and snapped, "Will you marry me, Lex?"
It was one of those moments that were so completely absurd that you could feel nothing but a deep, freeing serenity.
"Yes."
Clark dropped his hand and whirled back around. "You see, Bruce? That's the - what?"
He turned back to Lex much more slowly. Lex stared at him. Serenity was rapidly replaced by the urge to scream.
Clark's eyes were very wide and round. "No. What."
"I believe he said yes," Selina said loudly. She still looked deeply amused. Lex almost regretted that she wasn't available anymore.
But there was Clark. "But."
"It won't be possible in Kansas," Lex said calmly, "but there are other states."
He wasn't going to actually marry Clark, of course. It would be very stupid -
"We hate each other!"
"Well, that hasn't kept me from marrying my last two wives. And I think I actually hate you less than the Countess."
Lex still had political ambitions, of course. Gay marriage was not part of the plan. Even gay marriage to Superman.
Clark looked deeply embarrassed, at the same time as he was angry. It occurred to Lex that so far, he hadn't brought up the most obvious objection to their marriage. But then, there were so many.
"You're evil. The whole point is that we marry so you stop being evil. And I know you, Lex."
Ah, yes. The evil part. That wasn't what Lex meant.
"This kind of thing can be arranged in a pre-nuptial." Lex had always enjoyed playing the devil's advocate.
To his surprise, Clark's shoulders fell. He exhaled loudly and blinked at Lex. "You would? Make compromises to… marry me?"
"Marriage always comes with compromises." Which was usually one of the reasons Lex's marriages failed.
Why the hell was Clark even considering this while they were being watched by a rapt roomful of capes?
A shiver suddenly went through Clark. He took a step closer. His eyes searched Lex's, full of uncertainty. But this time he didn't seem to be fighting with doubt and distrust, but rather with hope. His brows knitted into a frown.
"Only people who love each other should marry," he said softly.
"I could learn to love you again," Lex replied before he remembered that this was supposed to be a hypothetical marriage. A rhetorical proposal.
But Clark was drifting closer still. And there was nothing hypothetical about Lex's admission.
Clark raised a hand. Just before it could decide whether to land on Lex's shoulder or gently touch his cheek, a miserable noise interrupted them. They both glanced into that direction.
Bruce had sunken onto a chair by the wall, hugging himself. He looked rather pale. "I think someone spiked my drinks."
Selina smiled widely. "Yes. I believe that was Mr Queen." She patted her glum fiancé's dark hair soothingly. "Wasn't it fun, though?"
:::
Roll Call:
Selina Kyle - Catwoman. Reformed catburglar. Sometimes dates Batman.
Harvey Dent - Two-Face. Bruce Wayne's lawyer best friend turned villain. Sometimes helps Batman.
Poison Ivy - Plant themed villainess. Sometimes helps Batman.
Harley Quinn - the Joker's harlequin sidekick. Apparently dates Ivy. Sometimes helps Batman.
Talia Al Ghul - Ra's Al Ghul's daughter. Villainess. Sometimes dates Batman.
Lady Shiva - Hired assassin. Maybe the best martial artist of the DC verse. Trained the third Robin. Sometimes helps Batman.
Edward Nygma - The Riddler. Commits crimes with riddles. Sometimes helps Batman.
Jason Todd - Used to be the second Robin. Died and came back evil. Now does good in evil ways as Red Hood.
Anarky - Anarchist villain/vigilante. Think V for Vendetta. Sometimes helps Batman.
Batman orders Clark to marry Lex to "keep him out of trouble."
Title: Two Weddings and a Bachelor Party
Rating: PG, humour
Fandom: Smallville/DC(extended Batfamily)
Length: 2308 words
Lex had been rather surprised to be invited to Bruce Wayne's bachelor party. Of course the news of Gotham City's most eligible bachelor's impending marriage had made the news for some weeks, and Lex had made his own cursory investigation into the matter, as he would have if it had been any other of his enemies or business partners. But hadn't expected to be invited.
The wedding would be a very private matter, with only the closest friends of the family invited - Lex read that as meaning 'every single cape in the nation' - but the bachelor party was a society event. It was a combined bachelor and bachelorette party and Bruce had apparently invited every single socialite and business magnate he could fit into the manor. Lex assumed that he had simply been invited because anything else would have caused suspicion and rumours. Of course so many rich and famous people in one spot were recipe for disaster, particularly in Gotham City.
Security detail was visible everywhere on the grounds as Lex arrived, but as soon as he forayed into the crowd, leaving Mercy behind at the door, Lex realized that the bodyguards were just for show.
As he crossed the room to shake hands with Bruce, Lex spotted eleven vigilantes in civilian disguise. Five more while he exchanged compliments with Bruce, among them Clark, glowering at him. Lex gave him a bland smile in return.
Lex thought he was the only supervillain - and although it was a ridiculous term, he knew that he couldn't be called anything else - among the crowd of hapless socialites and undercover heroes, until he happened upon Harvey Dent.
It was rather startling to pass by the buffet and suddenly bump into Two-Face and Bruce Wayne, the villain's hand resting on Bruce's shoulder as if they were the very best of friends. Two-Face wore a very respectable black tuxedo instead of his usual flashy white suit, but his horribly scarred and distorted face was the same as ever.
Even more surprising was Bruce, though. His cheeks were flushed and his eyes bright. He looked more than a little tipsy.
"Lex!" he exclaimed, with Brucie's jovial intonation. "Don't look so shocked, my man! Have you met Harvey Dent?"
Lex hid his surprise behind a smirk. "I believe so," he said. Dent had a very solemn expression, quite unlike Two-Face's manic glare. He held out a gnarled and disfigured hand and shook Lex's with grip that would have made a lesser man wince.
"Don't let yourself be distracted by Harvey's looks. It was an accident," Bruce said with the same blundering rudeness he usually displayed in his playboy persona. Lex had never seen anyone act drunk more convincingly.
"A friend of the bride, I assume?" he asked. She and Two-Face probably knew each other, the Gotham freaks all did.
Dent shook his head. Bruce grinned. "Harvey's my best man!"
Something passed over Dent's face, a darker shadow, turning his scarred features even more grim. Then, to Lex's surprise, his eyes became suspiciously shiny. His voice dropped a whole register to a growl. "It's going to be very strange to see him a married man," he said roughly. "Makes you feel old."
Bruce laughed and threw an arm around Dent's shoulders, steering him towards the buffet again. "Sorry, Lex," he slurred. "Gotta keep old Harvey from getting into one of his moods!"
Lex was left to stare at their backs bemusedly. He had a second look at the crowd then. Ah yes. A wonder he hadn't noticed them before - the petite blonde dancing with the red-head in the green dress. Poison Ivy and Harley Quinn, for once not wrecking havoc. Frowning, Lex drifted to the sidelines of the party, closer to the heavy curtains by the window, watching the guests sharply. What was Wayne's strategy? Had he invited all those villains to prevent an attack? It was a bit like inviting the wicked fairy to Sleeping Beauty's christening in the hope that she wouldn't curse the child.
Lex prided himself on knowing the civilian identities of most significant metahumans. That included the Gotham freaks, of course. It was harder to spot them than it was to spot the capes, though. Most vigilantes were afraid of being discovered and therefore self-conscious and awkward in their disguises. The villains, on the other hand, rarely showed such caution and moved much more naturally among the rich and famous.
There was the bride, of course, although rumour had it that she had reformed. And over there, looking deathly in a midnight blue dress, was Talia Al Ghul. Lex had had dealings with her. And the man in the bowler looked rather like Edward Nygma, although for once the eccentric headwear was not the Riddler's customary lime green but grey. The scowling young man with the whiskey glass looked rather like Jason Todd, who was rumoured to be Red Hood, and the young red-head who was talking to him might have been the civilian identity of Anarky. The tall Asian woman talking to Bruce's adopted son, Tim Drake, was Sandra Wu-San, the deadly assassin and martial arts teacher known as Lady Shiva. Lex gave a her a nod when she spotted him watching her, she had worked for him on several occasions, always to his satisfaction.
Looking for more surprising guests, Lex's eyes fell on Clark. Clark wasn't mixing with the crowd. Instead he stood by the staircase, arms crossed, staring at the party guests with a darkly unhappy frown.
Lex considered crossing the room and talking to him. The rules of the game had apparently been lifted for one night, and Lex was curious how it would be to talk to Clark without any of their usual reasons for talking, without any accusations to hurl at each other.
Clark was a lying, cowardly bastard, but Lex had learned to live with that. Although it had taken him years to accept it, Clark wasn't exactly the menace Lex had come to believe him to be early in their enmity. He was too powerful and too self-righteous, but he had no desire to rule in him, not one sliver of ambition. Unlike Lex, who had plenty of it.
So Clark was there to keep him from stepping over those last few boundaries that even Lex was afraid of overstepping, and Lex was there to keep Clark occupied and prepare for the eventuality that Clark would change his mind about ruling. They had a good balance. Lex supposed there were worse arch-enemies one could have.
The party went on, and the first guests started leaving. Lex chatted to a number of people, some of them amusing like Lois, some of them deeply annoying like Oliver Queen. Being mayor of Star City hadn't made the man any less unbearable. He danced with Talia while the last civilians filed out, only the capes and villains staying behind so late.
"A room full of lions, walking among the lambs," she purred into his ear, her foreign accent thick. "Wasn't it exciting?"
Lex replied with a chuckle. "They seem to be rather tame tonight."
"We all respect him." Her tone made it clear she was talking about Batman, not Bruce. She sounded just the tiniest bit wistful. Her long nails slid across Lex's shoulders. He reminded himself that it had only been a year since his last disastrous marriage. "He knows he's one of us just as much as he's one of them."
Years ago, Lex would have resented being thrown in with the freaks and criminals. But all the good causes, the reasons he'd had, had eventually turned to dust and nothing, to a bunch of excuses. He wasn't any better than his Dad in the end, only smarter and more dangerous.
In any case, he preferred being one of the lions to being one of the lambs, or even the sheep dogs.
"I'm leaving soon," Talia offered. He didn't take her up on it, and she didn't seem too disappointed.
He was watching her go, when suddenly loud voices came from the group of people standing at the end of the room, beneath the solemn portrait of the late Mr and Mrs Wayne. The crowd had thinned enough for Lex to see what was going on.
Harvey Dent had doubled over, clutching his right hand with a pained grimace, while Clark stood very straight, his cheeks flushed in anger. His glasses lay broken on the floor between them. By Dent's side stood Bruce, a bit unsure on his feet and looking just as furious.
"See, that's exactly why I didn't ask you to me by - be my best man!" Bruce hissed.
Clark raised his chin haughtily. "You're drunk."
Selina Kyle was approaching her fiancé from behind, but stopped at a few feet's distance, looking deeply amused. Diana of Themiscyra, on the other hand, looked shocked. Oliver Queen had a rather guilty expression on his face.
"At least I'm not a self-righteous asshole!" Bruce stepped forward, but Clark easily caught his fist in mid-swing. Panting, the billionaire seemed to collect himself and pulled back. "Look around you, Clark. Is that really all you see? Criminals?"
Clark crossed his arms. "Quite a few of them, actually." He glanced darkly at Harvey Dent. "So they can keep peace for a night. But you know exactly that they're going to relapse. They are criminals."
Lex was loathe to admit it, but he actually agreed with Clark. Most of Bruce's enemies were first grade psychos. And Talia and Lady Shiva, for example, didn't even need to relapse - they were still very much in business.
"And that's all they're ever going to be, if you don't let them be anything else," Bruce replied. The drunkenness wasn't gone, but it had turned into a dark fierceness. "Judgement isn't justice. That's why none of your villains ever change sides."
Diana stepped forward, clearly with the intent to calm the two men down, but Selina held her back, mouthing a few short words to her.
"So what am I supposed to do, Bruce? Marry Brainiac and hope he'll change his evil ways?"
"That's your excuse, Clark? That they're not human? It doesn't hold up very well, considering - "
"No, that's not my excuse!" Clark could shout when he wanted to. Lex had been on the receiving end many times. "Just watch me!"
He whirled around, and it that moment Lex realized he was in deep shit.
He was, after all, the only one of Clark's villains in the room.
Their eyes met, Clark's still blazing with fury, and Clark stalked towards him. Lex put on his aloof face, the one that said ' you can't prove me anything'. It wasn't going to help. Clark seemed to be barely aware of who he was talking to, all that mattered to him was to prove Bruce wrong.
Instead of going down on one knee - which would at least have been amusing - he grabbed Lex's right hand in his, nearly crushing it, and snapped, "Will you marry me, Lex?"
It was one of those moments that were so completely absurd that you could feel nothing but a deep, freeing serenity.
"Yes."
Clark dropped his hand and whirled back around. "You see, Bruce? That's the - what?"
He turned back to Lex much more slowly. Lex stared at him. Serenity was rapidly replaced by the urge to scream.
Clark's eyes were very wide and round. "No. What."
"I believe he said yes," Selina said loudly. She still looked deeply amused. Lex almost regretted that she wasn't available anymore.
But there was Clark. "But."
"It won't be possible in Kansas," Lex said calmly, "but there are other states."
He wasn't going to actually marry Clark, of course. It would be very stupid -
"We hate each other!"
"Well, that hasn't kept me from marrying my last two wives. And I think I actually hate you less than the Countess."
Lex still had political ambitions, of course. Gay marriage was not part of the plan. Even gay marriage to Superman.
Clark looked deeply embarrassed, at the same time as he was angry. It occurred to Lex that so far, he hadn't brought up the most obvious objection to their marriage. But then, there were so many.
"You're evil. The whole point is that we marry so you stop being evil. And I know you, Lex."
Ah, yes. The evil part. That wasn't what Lex meant.
"This kind of thing can be arranged in a pre-nuptial." Lex had always enjoyed playing the devil's advocate.
To his surprise, Clark's shoulders fell. He exhaled loudly and blinked at Lex. "You would? Make compromises to… marry me?"
"Marriage always comes with compromises." Which was usually one of the reasons Lex's marriages failed.
Why the hell was Clark even considering this while they were being watched by a rapt roomful of capes?
A shiver suddenly went through Clark. He took a step closer. His eyes searched Lex's, full of uncertainty. But this time he didn't seem to be fighting with doubt and distrust, but rather with hope. His brows knitted into a frown.
"Only people who love each other should marry," he said softly.
"I could learn to love you again," Lex replied before he remembered that this was supposed to be a hypothetical marriage. A rhetorical proposal.
But Clark was drifting closer still. And there was nothing hypothetical about Lex's admission.
Clark raised a hand. Just before it could decide whether to land on Lex's shoulder or gently touch his cheek, a miserable noise interrupted them. They both glanced into that direction.
Bruce had sunken onto a chair by the wall, hugging himself. He looked rather pale. "I think someone spiked my drinks."
Selina smiled widely. "Yes. I believe that was Mr Queen." She patted her glum fiancé's dark hair soothingly. "Wasn't it fun, though?"
:::
Roll Call:
Selina Kyle - Catwoman. Reformed catburglar. Sometimes dates Batman.
Harvey Dent - Two-Face. Bruce Wayne's lawyer best friend turned villain. Sometimes helps Batman.
Poison Ivy - Plant themed villainess. Sometimes helps Batman.
Harley Quinn - the Joker's harlequin sidekick. Apparently dates Ivy. Sometimes helps Batman.
Talia Al Ghul - Ra's Al Ghul's daughter. Villainess. Sometimes dates Batman.
Lady Shiva - Hired assassin. Maybe the best martial artist of the DC verse. Trained the third Robin. Sometimes helps Batman.
Edward Nygma - The Riddler. Commits crimes with riddles. Sometimes helps Batman.
Jason Todd - Used to be the second Robin. Died and came back evil. Now does good in evil ways as Red Hood.
Anarky - Anarchist villain/vigilante. Think V for Vendetta. Sometimes helps Batman.