Realization Chapter 14
The dinky roadside pub was definitely not luxury but it served its purpose meaning that it had tables, some degree of privacy, and an unending supply of Jaejoong’s favorite alcohol.
Yoochun watched Jaejoong amusedly as his friend’s sanity was already taking a trip to some faraway universe. Yoochun, himself, had been steadily drinking for the past hour as well but it was no comparison to the large amounts of alcohol Jaejoong had practically inhaled. Jaejoong’s alcohol tolerance wasn’t usually weak per say, but today he had come out with full intentions to get out of his mind drunk.
“It’s just that everything these days are so stressful y’know?” Jaejoong drawled for about the twentieth time that night as he poured himself another shot of soju. “What with the addition of our perpetual, uninvited guest in particular…” His eyes flickered across the table to Yunho who was sitting next to Yoochun with his shot glass untouched. Jaejoong’s eyes settled on the empty shot glass and he glared at it fiercely as if it, rather than Yunho even, was the source of all his problems.
Ignoring Jaejoong, Yunho turned to Yoochun, “Don’t you think it’s time we take him home?”
Yoochun merely clasped his arm around Yunho’s shoulder as the two peered at Jaejoong together, a sign that seemed to mean “let’s just see where this goes”. After all, it wasn’t everyday Yoochun got to see Jaejoong so loopy. It was kind of fun.
Jaejoong glared at Yunho, not appreciating the fact that he was being ignored. He lifted a wavering finger and pointed it directly at Yunho’s face, a gesture that might have been intimidating if it wasn’t Jaejoong. “You….you...don’t you dare ignore me, fucking…fucker.”
Yunho raised an eyebrow at Jaejoong’s bumbling curse words. He knew that Jaejoong had a notoriously dirty mouth when he was drunk but it was the first time Jaejoong’s ire was turned on him.
Jaejoong knocked back his full glass and then roughly swiped the back of his hand against his lips with a contented sigh-a gesture surprisingly manly for someone so pretty, Yunho thought.
Cringing his brow as if he was trying to think, Jaejoong brought his face up to look at Yunho again, eyes bleary and speech slurred. “You…you think you’re just so fucking cool. Mr. ‘I have a face the size of a fist’…” Jaejoong let out a derisive snort as he fumbled for the bottle of soju which Yoochun wisely took from his grasp. Jaejoong sent Yoochun a death glare but didn’t stop his little tirade towards Yunho.
“You’re not even that good-looking you know that? You’re…you’re…like that alien from Men in Black! The one with the tiny head…fucking gross...”
With a final emphasis on the word “gross” and an exaggerated impersonation of someone puking his guts out, Jaejoong buried his face into his arms, fending off Yoochun and Yunho’s attempts to wake him with shouts of “get offa me fuckers!”
It wasn’t long before the two sober men could hear the short and even breaths of a sleeping Jaejoong.
“Well, no need to ruin the fun for us, huh?” Yoochun said merrily, holding up the remaining bottle of liquor that he managed to save from Jaejoong’s clutches.
Yunho was a bit fazed at Yoochun’s utter disregard and lack of worry for his own boyfriend but he didn’t refuse Yoochun’s offer of soju, gladly downing it without the pressure of being with a conscious Jaejoong.
The two drank in silence for a few moments, engaged in the simple task of pouring each other soju and downing the shots, enjoying the acrid burn down their throats.
However, Yunho was watching Yoochun out of the side of his eye all the while, just like he had been watching him ever since he started going out with Jaejoong. There were times that Yunho felt a bit confused as to how Jaejoong could go from liking himself to Yoochun: not that there was anything wrong with Yoochun, but just that he was so different from himself. Wherein Yunho was goal-oriented and hard working, Yoochun was more easy-going and got things, got people, from charm alone. Perhaps Jaejoong had just moved on to a different type of guy and that shouldn’t have bothered him, rather it should have relieved him. But rather than relief, all that Yunho felt, all that he was left with, was a sense of bitterness. And he didn’t know why.
Yoochun could feel the prickling on his neck, the feeling he always got when someone stared at him. He grinned at Yunho, who was practically boring holes into his face. “Something on my face, hyung?”
Yunho shook his head slowly and answered with a question instead. “What do you even see in him?” Yunho jerked his head to Jaejoong’s sleeping form.
Yoochun was a bit taken aback, not by the question itself, but by the fact that there was such a lack of malice in it. Rather, it held sheer curiosity and perhaps something more…
“I mean, it’s hard enough not to fall in love with him when he’s so adorably drunk, eh?” Yoochun replied jokingly. But he paused to give the question some thought, figuring if he didn’t tell Yunho, the guy would probably never figure it out for himself. Yunho for all his leadership and charisma could be surprisingly dense. (Though that could be said for all the Dongbang members.)
“Jaejoong is…vain as anything. He can’t go one minute without taking out his stupid, little mirror and looking at himself,” Yoochun grinned brightly. “But sometimes I feel like it’s insecurity and not vanity that gives him that habit. And the fact that he can be so clueless is…adorable.”
Yunho played with the shot glass in his hands but it was clear he was listening.
“Jaejoong can be clueless at times…a lot of the time. But there are times when he’s really perceptive too and more than that, caring. He’s the one out of all of us who actually gives a damn and isn’t afraid to show it. His heart’s so full of love and he has to let it all out, even if he might get hurt in return.” Yoochun paused and looked at Yunho meaningfully, “Hyung, do I really have to spell this all out to you?”
Yunho looked back at him, his expression unreadable. Yoochun leaned in closer to Yunho, as if he was indulging in some secret. He lowered his voice to an audible whisper, “It’s not that hard. When Jaejoong tries to pour out all his love to you…just let him. All you need to do is…have courage.”
Yoochun smiled a little. He couldn’t believe he used the same piece of advice twice. Jaejoong and Yunho were two very different people but perhaps it was true what they say that everyone’s a fool in love. Including himself.
Yoochun pounded Yunho’s back playfully and got up from the table. He winked at a very bewildered-looking Yunho and turned to go, “You’ll understand in due time, hyung but believe me, it’ll be worth it. He’s worth it.”
With the excuse that he was going to the restroom, Yoochun walked away from his two members until he was standing outside of the pub. A light drizzle was falling from the darkened sky but it only felt refreshing to Yoochun as he headed towards his parked car, busily punching away into his phone.
Before he got in the car he paused to look back at the nondescript pub he had just left.
“Yunjae fighting.” Yoochun whispered, his breath just a white puff until it disappeared.
++++
[Bring JaeJae home safely hyung <3]
When Yunho read the text from Yoochun he cursed under his breath, “Fucker…” It seemed that Jaejoong’s habit of cursing was contagious.
It wasn’t even the sheer effort of taking an unconscious Jaejoong home with him on foot that worried him, it was just that he had to be alone with Jaejoong. Though he was unconscious now, there was no telling when Jaejoong would wake up and Yunho was in no way prepared to confront him. Yunho was just all kinds of confused at the moment and he needed time to think.
Yunho looked at Jaejoong with a sigh. But he had no choice.
Enlisting the help of the bartender, Yunho got Jaejoong on his back and was ready to trek the mile and half home until he saw the light rain outside. He didn’t have an umbrella and Jaejoong would catch the brunt of the rainwater being on his back. With a sigh Yunho asked the bartender for help once more and got situated a second time, this time with Jaejoong on his back and Yunho’s jacket covering Jaejoong’s body.
Yunho sighed again and starting walking in the miserable weather.
“I feel like fucking Quasimodo.”
++++
When Yoochun got home, he was greeted by the sight of empty Chinese food boxes that littered the kitchen table and floor. He wasn’t surprised because he knew that Changmin went all out when it came to take-out night. He inhaled food in much the same way Jaejoong did alcohol.
After picking up a few boxes he gave up, there were just too many, and he headed towards the bathroom. But he was stopped by a quiet murmur coming from the living room couch.
“Junsu?”
Yoochun was surprised to see his best friend curled up in a ball on the sofa, looking up at him with mussed hair and red eyes that were slightly swollen.
“Did you cry? What’s wrong??” Yoochun asked worriedly, eyes widening at Junsu’s appearance.
Junsu hurriedly swiped at his eyes clumsily with his hands, only laughing a bit awkwardly, nothing like the eukyang kyang laugh Yoochun was so used to. “No...I was just watching a sad movie before you came. Stupid, huh?” Junsu giggled again and struggled to bring the corners of his lips up again into a sad pretense of a smile.
“Oh…okay.”
Yoochun was suddenly overcome with a feeling of regret. He felt like he hadn’t talked to Junsu, actually talked to him, in a really long time. And whatever distance he was feeling between the two of them was his own doing. He had been so worried about figuring out his own feelings for Junsu, and trying to reassure himself of some kind of reciprocity of feeling on Junsu’s part. That emotional turmoil paired with his involvement in Yunjae’s problems had kept him from noticing that Junsu was starting to smile a little less and laugh a bit smaller. And suddenly, all of his original intentions didn’t really matter anymore.
Perhaps Jaejoong had been wrong. Perhaps they had all been wrong. Maybe the best way to deal with his feelings for Junsu was not some elaborate plan or indirect scoping. But rather the straightforward truth and nothing else. As scary as that sounded.
Sometimes the “cool” Park Yoochun was just such a coward. And it was time for him to take his own advice.
Yoochun enveloped Junsu in his arms and Junsu gave out a dolphin squeak though he didn’t try to pull away. Yoochun caressed the back of Junsu’s head slowly and smiled a little at the familiar warmth, the embrace of an old friend, which hopefully would be something that would never change.
“Junsu, let’s go to the river tomorrow night. I want to talk to you about something.”
++++
Jaejoong was dreaming.
He was a royal prince riding on the back of his most trusted steed. As he clung to the back of the horse, the steady clip clop of its hooves rang in his ears. He didn’t know where he was going, but a sense of overwhelming trust and security filled him as he leaned into the plush hair of his steed, believing that it would lead the way safely to their destination.
But what was strange about the scene was that Jaejoong could have sworn that it was raining for he could feel the raindrops hitting his back constantly. Yet there was no uncomfortable wetness, no moisture, he was perfectly dry and all he felt was the warmth of the steed beneath him. Perhaps in this dream there was some kind of force field around him? Interesting…
And what was more, as he buried his nose into the horse’s hair he was surprised to encounter a familiar scent that was surprisingly unhorse-like. If anything it smelled muskier like the sweat of a male. A human male. Intrigued, Prince Jaejoong grabbed at the horse’s hair with a sharp tug as he brought the strands of hair closer for inspection…
“Oww! Jaejoong stop that!”
The horse speaks?
Jaejoong’s hands were batted away by an irritable Yunho who abruptly stopped walking to let Jaejoong down from his back.
“We’re home,” Yunho stated gruffly, looking down at Jaejoong who was merely staring up at him with big, startled eyes. “It’s so like you to wake up right when we get here,” Yunho muttered and turned away to head up the stairs of the apartment building.
Jaejoong didn’t move and was frozen where he stood, still not quite understanding the situation. It was after a brief moment that he realized there was some kind of fabric hanging off of his head like a nun’s habit, draping across his shoulders and back. Jaejoong brought it down gently and clutched it in his arms. It was Yunho’s jacket, the one he always wore when the weather got a little chilly. He had covered Jaejoong with it so he wouldn’t be hit by the rain. While he carried Jaejoong on his back all the way home.
Jaejoong held the jacket tightly to his chest like it was some kind of treasure. He bit his lip and looked down at his feet, trying to hold back the few tears that were starting to brim his eyes. He was still kind of confused. Maybe it had meant nothing at all.
Yet for the first time in a long time, Jaejoong felt just a little bit happy.
“Yunho…thank you.” Jaejoong called out softly to Yunho’s retreating back.
Jaejoong’s heart skipped a beat to see Yunho turn around at the slight sound. Yunho didn’t say anything in return but instead he offered a small smile, barely there but nonetheless genuine. The kind of smile Jaejoong hadn’t see from him in so long. Jaejoong smiled shyly back at him in return, following after him up the stairs and inside their awaiting home.
++++
A/N Folks, we are almost reaching the end! Just stick with me a bit more guys!
Oh and YOOCHUN HAPPY BIRTHDAY MAH BOO!!!
*Yoochun Pic Spam*
And of course RIPLEY YOOCHUN!!
LOVE YA BABY. Wish you the best with junsu LOL