(no subject)
I wonder why it is that whenever I need to get up very early I suddenly become completely incapable of sleeping. The very concept of sleep exits my brain, and lying in a bed in the quiet and dark suddenly becomes a time for solving brain puzzles, or worrying, or silently venting frustrations, or making up bizarre things in a fashion almost like dreaming, but not including the rest part. I've got to be up at 5am. Went to bed at 11, yet here I am.
Oh, also, hi. Believe it or not I still check this thing regularly, even though I don't say much. Well, now's as good a time as any to reacquaint myself with this because, for better or for worse, my life is probably going to be fairly interesting for a while soon.
Let me just go over where I am here, since apparently I need to kill a little time anyway.
For nearly two and a half years now I have been living with wamblin_man and drowdancer , sharing expenses on a rented house. It has been, overall, a restful period of time, if somewhat unproductive on the greater Life Progress Front. Two years ago I signed up with a temp agency with the intention of doing the odd job here and there while I searched for real work, but in truth I didn't do much searching for real work. I found I was able to get by moderately comfortably on what temping brought in and, voided of much of my aspirations and ambitions after my Japan debacle, that was enough for me. In retrospect, I put little more than the minimum effort into developing my actual life; instead the bulk of my efforts were redirected into cultivating a simulation of life through World of Warcraft. My life within Warcraft has been a great deal more interesting and vibrant than my normal day to day life, and given my disappointment at my perceived failures in what I had chosen as my life path in college, I threw myself into this route of escapism with nothing less than abandon. The longer I did so, the less incentive I had to stop--why throw myself back into my dull, increasingly pointless actual existence when this false one was, in its own terms, so rewarding? As with anything you spend years of concerted effort at, I became genuinely good at the game. Given the social nature of it, I also made some of the stronger interpersonal bonds that I managed to cultivate these past couple years. So I spent two years living what amounts to a simulated life, working here and there, and counting on my mental scars to see themselves out over time.
Which brings us to the present, more or less. Perhaps needless to say, my approach of staying signed up with temp agencies and taking it as it comes no longer works. Tomorrow I work a temp job. It is the first I have had since Christmas Eve, and I simply cannot afford that kind of downtime anymore. My savings from my exorbitant salary as an ALT in Ashikaga have long since evaporated. To make things worse, I've racked up with my housemates a considerable debt in unpaid utility bills that for a while I had been neglecting and eventually I had no resources to deal with anymore. Clearly it's time for something to change.
From that perspective, at the very least, things are going to do just that.
My housemates, married as they are, have reached the point in life where they'd like a place of their own. Additionally, with the economy being what it is, a little extra slack in the expenses department wold do them no harm either, particularly with me not pulling my weight in utilities. So they've been running sweeps for a new place that looks promising, and just recently they found one. So my last day living here will be, at the latest, February 28th. After that things will change by necessity.
Currently I have no plan. Nothing solid, at least. I have a few options for places I can hole up while I look for something to do with myself, some more desperate than others, but that's about as far as I've gotten. The plan for now is to build up as much money as I possibly can before it becomes critically necessary in about a month. I've been doing some freelance translation work (which is really exciting to have the opportunity to do, I might add, but sadly not a way I can make a living right now), and I've got this temp job lined up for tomorrow and the next day (12 hour shifts in a cracker factory, but the pay is good). After that... well, I'm playing it by ear for now, but I can't afford to much longer.
So that's how things are right now. I don't really know how this is going to go down, but I do know that I'm tired of living hungry and desperate. I may be kind of crap at being a functioning adult, but I think it's about time I started doing this right, rather than just making do.
Oh, also, hi. Believe it or not I still check this thing regularly, even though I don't say much. Well, now's as good a time as any to reacquaint myself with this because, for better or for worse, my life is probably going to be fairly interesting for a while soon.
Let me just go over where I am here, since apparently I need to kill a little time anyway.
For nearly two and a half years now I have been living with wamblin_man and drowdancer , sharing expenses on a rented house. It has been, overall, a restful period of time, if somewhat unproductive on the greater Life Progress Front. Two years ago I signed up with a temp agency with the intention of doing the odd job here and there while I searched for real work, but in truth I didn't do much searching for real work. I found I was able to get by moderately comfortably on what temping brought in and, voided of much of my aspirations and ambitions after my Japan debacle, that was enough for me. In retrospect, I put little more than the minimum effort into developing my actual life; instead the bulk of my efforts were redirected into cultivating a simulation of life through World of Warcraft. My life within Warcraft has been a great deal more interesting and vibrant than my normal day to day life, and given my disappointment at my perceived failures in what I had chosen as my life path in college, I threw myself into this route of escapism with nothing less than abandon. The longer I did so, the less incentive I had to stop--why throw myself back into my dull, increasingly pointless actual existence when this false one was, in its own terms, so rewarding? As with anything you spend years of concerted effort at, I became genuinely good at the game. Given the social nature of it, I also made some of the stronger interpersonal bonds that I managed to cultivate these past couple years. So I spent two years living what amounts to a simulated life, working here and there, and counting on my mental scars to see themselves out over time.
Which brings us to the present, more or less. Perhaps needless to say, my approach of staying signed up with temp agencies and taking it as it comes no longer works. Tomorrow I work a temp job. It is the first I have had since Christmas Eve, and I simply cannot afford that kind of downtime anymore. My savings from my exorbitant salary as an ALT in Ashikaga have long since evaporated. To make things worse, I've racked up with my housemates a considerable debt in unpaid utility bills that for a while I had been neglecting and eventually I had no resources to deal with anymore. Clearly it's time for something to change.
From that perspective, at the very least, things are going to do just that.
My housemates, married as they are, have reached the point in life where they'd like a place of their own. Additionally, with the economy being what it is, a little extra slack in the expenses department wold do them no harm either, particularly with me not pulling my weight in utilities. So they've been running sweeps for a new place that looks promising, and just recently they found one. So my last day living here will be, at the latest, February 28th. After that things will change by necessity.
Currently I have no plan. Nothing solid, at least. I have a few options for places I can hole up while I look for something to do with myself, some more desperate than others, but that's about as far as I've gotten. The plan for now is to build up as much money as I possibly can before it becomes critically necessary in about a month. I've been doing some freelance translation work (which is really exciting to have the opportunity to do, I might add, but sadly not a way I can make a living right now), and I've got this temp job lined up for tomorrow and the next day (12 hour shifts in a cracker factory, but the pay is good). After that... well, I'm playing it by ear for now, but I can't afford to much longer.
So that's how things are right now. I don't really know how this is going to go down, but I do know that I'm tired of living hungry and desperate. I may be kind of crap at being a functioning adult, but I think it's about time I started doing this right, rather than just making do.