Not much left for me to say after all these excellent suggestions.
I love your drawing, it looks very dark and threatening. Which makes me think that there should be a reason for the clans to be making the statues, because hacking them from the vulcanic stone and cutting down trees to move them with is an enormous amount of work. Maybe there should be a dark and omnious hallucination sequence in the story where the clan chiefs see the statues stand up and do some ritual dance, where the statues are threatening the chiefs that bad things will happen if there isn't a statue made for holding the ghost of every man that has died on the island.
Since bad things are indeed happening because of the deforestation, the chiefs are all the more motivated to make more statues, and so the downward spiral speeds up.
I find the plot weird, your trying to tell two stories. One plot is with Manu (love plot) and the second is with Kaula (Cassandra myth) It seems to me that you want to tell something about love. But being that you can't choose you try to tell them both at the same time. You should choose either Kaula or Manu for your storyline. Or the father's perspective if you like that one. They all have they're excentricities. Like the last storyline you don't really go into they're blindspots. I think that's more interesting. And btw if you need to make a love story make one. I'd love to see one and you seem to want to get that of your chest.
Comments 18
I love your drawing, it looks very dark and threatening. Which makes me think that there should be a reason for the clans to be making the statues, because hacking them from the vulcanic stone and cutting down trees to move them with is an enormous amount of work. Maybe there should be a dark and omnious hallucination sequence in the story where the clan chiefs see the statues stand up and do some ritual dance, where the statues are threatening the chiefs that bad things will happen if there isn't a statue made for holding the ghost of every man that has died on the island.
Since bad things are indeed happening because of the deforestation, the chiefs are all the more motivated to make more statues, and so the downward spiral speeds up.
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Grtz Lars
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