Do you ever look at something or think of something just so you can feel pain? All I feel is sadness and anger. Thats it. My heart and soul are filled with it and I feel like that is all I know anymore. Fuck it.

Sometimes, I wish I could drive out to the middle of nowhere. Just find a place without another human being within miles. I would just find a place to sit and think. I feel like when I get a chance to just organize my thoughts, I find out who I really am. Like sometimes during the day, when everything is going on around me, it seems like I mask ( Read more... )

aight so i think its a good thing that everybody looks back and reminisces about everything when a year comes to its end. Even tho its not the end of the year, for many of us, its the biggest time of change during our year. And even tho ive already gone through the biggest change of my year, i find myself going along with the crowd and thinking ( Read more... )

So i was sitting here talking to mr. chris weck about this summer and i decided, this might be the best summer i have ever had. Last summer sucked the big one having to work full time. So this summer, i will work minimal hours at a job i like, fall asleep in my pool for hours, grill out on the deck with my best friends in the world, and of course, ( Read more... )

I have one dream. Right now it is what i need to do. Nothing else will satisfy me. Im going to sacrifice whatever i need to. Because right now, its what i need to be happy. I wont be able to handle not succeeding.

ok would everyone please stop putting comments in my journal. Im done with this, so would everyone else who does look, please stop. I dont look, but when i get these little post things in my email i kinda have to. Everything is done with...so please, no more comments...from anyone.

Im so sick of all this bullshit! All this live journal crap and everybody talking shit about everything. I blame myself too. I wrote too much shit on here that i shouldnt have written. I guess this is just my way of getting everything out without having someone sit and listen to me. What happened happened. I cant change anything so i dont even know ( Read more... )

I dont really know what to write. I thought after months of this things would be different. It scares me that its not. Maybe im just afraid of being alone. When i think about it, being alone is one of the scariest things a human being can endure. But whos to say what is fair and what isnt fair? Why do i deserve to fall in love and be with someone ( Read more... )

So today was one of the wierdest days i have ever experienced. It started out alright. I slept late, woke up in time for lifting. The weather was pretty decent...it was cold but sunny. So i go to lifting and i cant do much becuase my forearm is messed up. That might have been the start of all the craziness because it really pisses me off that i ( Read more... )

We each go through the same ( Read more... )