I used to read older entries a lot, with a sort of humiliated fascination, desperately hoping, I think, that I had changed dramatically since those days. I don't do that anymore for the same reason you said--just doesn't call to me. Maybe because I know now that I have changed.
Funnily, though, yesterday I read through a bunch of your old entries, for inspiration to write.
Here, I am addressing a specific community of people, many of whom have shared incredibly intimate details about their lives.
I think I have not moved on to a traditional blog because I consider my LJ friends actual friends. I would miss them dearly. And it would feel like betrayal.
I hope you won't leave. You are one of my very favorites.
when did you begin yr el jay? at what point in yr life did you begin yr space? i wish i'd known you earlier. is that weird to say?
awwwww! you are so sweet/kind/nice. i'm so lucky to have discovered so many creative folks via el jay. i genuinely feel like i know a lot of people on here that i've never met in person. perhaps it's because there are so many writers here: back in the day -- when i was moving out of self-reflection posts and mixing in the art -- i would search for new friends using poets i loved/admired. i figured i'd find quality people by searching for people who appreciated marie howe or atwood. you know?
ah, betrayal. you know, i do feel a responsibility to the people in this space. it's funny to word it that way. i can disappear for long stretches -- summer -- but to delete or abandon the el jay would feel terrible.
i'm just glad i don't annoy people with my posts. i'm just glad to know people here.
Every so often, for various reasons, I go back and come across entries I wrote when I first had my LJ. Since I first picked up LJ when I was in high school, and I've definitely matured since then, some of it I cringe over. Heck, I've even thought "Man, I was whiny" over some of my oldest entries.
oh wow. you've had yours since high school! wow. i sometimes wish i'd had one then, but then i'm glad i didn't because i was so angry and annoying then.
have you made any of your entries private because they are "too whiny?"
I haven't made anything private because of my whiny teenage self, but I do keep toying around with creating a "stupid teenage whining" tag or something similar and applying it to the relevant entries. At least it would be truthful advertising, in a sense, if I did so. But hey, that's who I was back in high school, so I can't change that.
I started mine back in *checks profile* July 2001. I think I started it because I had high school friends, most of whom I'm no longer in contact with, that had LJ. My social life has never tended to be incredibly active, so LJ was and still is a good way for me to keep in touch with folks. In part, that's why I have never uprooted completely from LJ, even though I have similar journals that I crosspost with on other sites. The circle of contacts may not be quite the same on each site, but there's enough variety between where I don't want to lose contact that I keep them going.
Yesterday I read old entries and found myself different but the same. I've had this lj for 9 years. Sometimes reading old entries pulls you back sometimes it doesn't. Life is life.
I started my journal freshman year at Hollins, so 2003 or 4? One of the girls on my hall had it, and I used it as a release valve and also as a place I could write creatively. I sometimes go back and read my old entries, they give me perspective.
I started my original lj in Feb 2001 while I was a high school senior. (Before that I maintained a journal/blog on my website for at least a year.) I moved to my current lj in March 2004 because I was going through some things & needed a clean break. The old one is still out there though -- I peek at it occasionally, even though I think I sound like a blithering idiot. :)
I realize now that so many of my friends have had their el jays for a long, long time. It's interesting to consider that the people in this community -- this specific one and peripheral ones -- have been committed to online communication for quite some time. Did the tone of your journal change with your shift? Did any life events bookend or surround this change?
Sometimes I think about moving away from el jay, but then I hedge about it because I would miss the voices I hear/read/know/love.
I've thought about moving to a public blog, but I'm so damn private that I would never keep it up unless it had a fun theme that wasn't focused on myself. You have a lot of writers/fans of writing in your little lj community... maybe that lends itself to sustained online communication. Like ducks to water. :)
I can identify the biggest voice changes within my previous journal. (This one has been relatively consistent.) I shut the previous one up - made the whole thing private - because it captured a very transitional time for me, with some difficult memories, and I just didn't want to look at it any more. But I couldn't stand to lose it entirely.
I love my el jay community because so many of you all are writers/smartie pants/empowering. I think that's the key difference. The relationships we build -- the details we share -- seem to provide more depth to entries and comments: we know things about one another. Perhaps in a public blog, it would be difficult to express difficult, silly, or intimate things....
I do love when you post. It helps to know how hard it must be to post details when you are so private: makes me savor yr posts a bit more. I feel that way about a bunch of my el jay friends/family.
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Funnily, though, yesterday I read through a bunch of your old entries, for inspiration to write.
Here, I am addressing a specific community of people, many of whom have shared incredibly intimate details about their lives.
I think I have not moved on to a traditional blog because I consider my LJ friends actual friends. I would miss them dearly. And it would feel like betrayal.
I hope you won't leave. You are one of my very favorites.
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awwwww! you are so sweet/kind/nice. i'm so lucky to have discovered so many creative folks via el jay. i genuinely feel like i know a lot of people on here that i've never met in person. perhaps it's because there are so many writers here: back in the day -- when i was moving out of self-reflection posts and mixing in the art -- i would search for new friends using poets i loved/admired. i figured i'd find quality people by searching for people who appreciated marie howe or atwood. you know?
ah, betrayal. you know, i do feel a responsibility to the people in this space. it's funny to word it that way. i can disappear for long stretches -- summer -- but to delete or abandon the el jay would feel terrible.
i'm just glad i don't annoy people with my posts. i'm just glad to know people here.
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have you made any of your entries private because they are "too whiny?"
why did you start yr el jay?
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I started mine back in *checks profile* July 2001. I think I started it because I had high school friends, most of whom I'm no longer in contact with, that had LJ. My social life has never tended to be incredibly active, so LJ was and still is a good way for me to keep in touch with folks. In part, that's why I have never uprooted completely from LJ, even though I have similar journals that I crosspost with on other sites. The circle of contacts may not be quite the same on each site, but there's enough variety between where I don't want to lose contact that I keep them going.
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wow. what a long time. you've had your el jay since 2001? wow. i'm impressed.
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Sometimes reading old entries pulls you back sometimes it doesn't. Life is life.
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I hope to have this one that long.
I used to read old entries all of the time. Something changed a few years ago. I'm still not quite sure what that something was.
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Sometimes I think about moving away from el jay, but then I hedge about it because I would miss the voices I hear/read/know/love.
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I can identify the biggest voice changes within my previous journal. (This one has been relatively consistent.) I shut the previous one up - made the whole thing private - because it captured a very transitional time for me, with some difficult memories, and I just didn't want to look at it any more. But I couldn't stand to lose it entirely.
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I do love when you post. It helps to know how hard it must be to post details when you are so private: makes me savor yr posts a bit more. I feel that way about a bunch of my el jay friends/family.
Aw, ducks to water? You're sweet.
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