(no subject)
so we are headed for warm beach for the next four days, thus: risk, reading, beach, mexican train, cousins, and the like. should be good. the idea of rolling around in the mud sounds really appealing right about now.
isabel sent me a Once upon a time, in a
land far far away, there lived a young princess named Olivia.
Olivia had once had a large, loving familym and together they
had ruled their vast and beautiful kingdom. Unfortunately, her
entire family had died when she was twelve in a freak botulitic
honey/wild boar incident. Of all the inhabitants of the castle,
only Olivia, a few lowly servants and, rather ironically, the
King's personal wild boar trainer, survived. For lack of a
better king, the wild boar trainer (Henry) agreed to take
the job, and stand-in as king until Olivia was of age to
marry and rule the Kingdom alongside her husband.
The years passed on and as Olivia grew older and more
womanly, Henry realized that he was no longer willing to
give up his powerful post. To solve this problem he decided
to grant Olivia the honor of his hand in marriage. Olivia,
however, was not quite as thrilled with the idea as Henry
was. She knew, as every woman instinctively knows, that wild
boar trainers in general are poor husband material. They,
like the beasts they tame, are vicious, dirty, and have
tough, scrubby hairs in all the wrong places. Olivia
refused Henry again and again, until he could not take it
any longer.
Unwilling to accept that the Kingdom would never truly be
his, Henry came up with another plot that was even more
desperate. If Olivia would not be Queen by his side, she
would not be Queen at all.
That night, while Olivia slept, Henry crept into her
bedroom, masterfully hog-tied her, and stuffed her into the
chest that lay at the foot of her bed. He added to the
chest a loaf of bread and a glass everlasting air-bubble
that would supply her with oxygen for the rest of her life.
With that, Henry locked the chest, and hid it away somewhere
where no one would ever find it....at the bottom of the moat
that surrounded the castle.
When Olivia awoke (she was a very sound sleeper) she was at
a loss to find out where she was. It was only when her eyes
had adjusted to the darkness, and she saw the everlasting
air-bubble (a device frequently used in situations of this
nature) that she realized exactly what must have happened to
her. Desperate and upset, Olivia used her mouth to grab an
oyster that had somehow entered the chest through a crack in
the wood, and ate it, hoping that its meat would contain
enough saxitoxin to kill her, and spare her a long drawn-out
death.
After several hours, Olivia realized that the oyster was not
going to be the cause of her death, and that she was doomed
to spend the rest of her days in a dank and dark chest at
the bottom of a moat. Eventually, she could not contain
herself any longer, and she burst into tears of anger and
pain. Each tear seemed to tear itself from Olivia's body
and thud loudly in the confined space of the chest. Olivia
began to feel heavy and uncomfortable, and it was only when
she took a break from her sobbing, that she noticed what was
actually happening. During her breakdown, the chest had
somehow become half-filled with large black pearls. As
another tear began to slide down her face, she realized that
it wasn't a tear at all, but rather another black pearl.
Suddenly, Olivia was struck by an idea that would save her
life. She quickly thought of all the sad moments that had
ever been a part of her life, and all the horrors that she
had witnessed in her youth. She wept for everything and
everyone that she had never cried for before. She cried
until she nearly drowned in her own hard tears. She cried
until her goal was achieved and the chest exploded into a
million pieces.
Finally free, Olivia floated up to the surface and struggled
out to the shore. Still tied, Olivia weakly crawled towards
the woods for shelter from the wicked eyes of Henry. In the
shade of a tree, Olivia passed out, but not before hearing
the chilling sound of a wolf howling in the distance. .
isabel sent me a Once upon a time, in a
land far far away, there lived a young princess named Olivia.
Olivia had once had a large, loving familym and together they
had ruled their vast and beautiful kingdom. Unfortunately, her
entire family had died when she was twelve in a freak botulitic
honey/wild boar incident. Of all the inhabitants of the castle,
only Olivia, a few lowly servants and, rather ironically, the
King's personal wild boar trainer, survived. For lack of a
better king, the wild boar trainer (Henry) agreed to take
the job, and stand-in as king until Olivia was of age to
marry and rule the Kingdom alongside her husband.
The years passed on and as Olivia grew older and more
womanly, Henry realized that he was no longer willing to
give up his powerful post. To solve this problem he decided
to grant Olivia the honor of his hand in marriage. Olivia,
however, was not quite as thrilled with the idea as Henry
was. She knew, as every woman instinctively knows, that wild
boar trainers in general are poor husband material. They,
like the beasts they tame, are vicious, dirty, and have
tough, scrubby hairs in all the wrong places. Olivia
refused Henry again and again, until he could not take it
any longer.
Unwilling to accept that the Kingdom would never truly be
his, Henry came up with another plot that was even more
desperate. If Olivia would not be Queen by his side, she
would not be Queen at all.
That night, while Olivia slept, Henry crept into her
bedroom, masterfully hog-tied her, and stuffed her into the
chest that lay at the foot of her bed. He added to the
chest a loaf of bread and a glass everlasting air-bubble
that would supply her with oxygen for the rest of her life.
With that, Henry locked the chest, and hid it away somewhere
where no one would ever find it....at the bottom of the moat
that surrounded the castle.
When Olivia awoke (she was a very sound sleeper) she was at
a loss to find out where she was. It was only when her eyes
had adjusted to the darkness, and she saw the everlasting
air-bubble (a device frequently used in situations of this
nature) that she realized exactly what must have happened to
her. Desperate and upset, Olivia used her mouth to grab an
oyster that had somehow entered the chest through a crack in
the wood, and ate it, hoping that its meat would contain
enough saxitoxin to kill her, and spare her a long drawn-out
death.
After several hours, Olivia realized that the oyster was not
going to be the cause of her death, and that she was doomed
to spend the rest of her days in a dank and dark chest at
the bottom of a moat. Eventually, she could not contain
herself any longer, and she burst into tears of anger and
pain. Each tear seemed to tear itself from Olivia's body
and thud loudly in the confined space of the chest. Olivia
began to feel heavy and uncomfortable, and it was only when
she took a break from her sobbing, that she noticed what was
actually happening. During her breakdown, the chest had
somehow become half-filled with large black pearls. As
another tear began to slide down her face, she realized that
it wasn't a tear at all, but rather another black pearl.
Suddenly, Olivia was struck by an idea that would save her
life. She quickly thought of all the sad moments that had
ever been a part of her life, and all the horrors that she
had witnessed in her youth. She wept for everything and
everyone that she had never cried for before. She cried
until she nearly drowned in her own hard tears. She cried
until her goal was achieved and the chest exploded into a
million pieces.
Finally free, Olivia floated up to the surface and struggled
out to the shore. Still tied, Olivia weakly crawled towards
the woods for shelter from the wicked eyes of Henry. In the
shade of a tree, Olivia passed out, but not before hearing
the chilling sound of a wolf howling in the distance. .