Love in the Time of Korea [Super Junior ; Heechul/Shindong]
Title: Love in the Time of Korea
Pairing: Heechul/Shindong
Summary: Shindong gets stuck in Heechul's window. (better than it sounds)
Rating: PG for immature innuendo
Word Count: ~2000
A/N: for Garland♥, with love. thank you to Laura for the encouragement.
So I felt around in the dark
Building rope ladders into your heart
Climbing hand over hand to get in
That's the shape I found you in
- Girlyman, "The Shape I found You In"
Shindong remembers when this was easier. He remembers tour hotels and vacation houses. He remembers bay windows and wooden gates, and he remembers snagging the cuffs of his pants more than once on shutter frames and hinges. He remembers when there weren't walls to scale or camera crews to avoid. He remembers when Heechul's room was just twenty paces from his own just months before on their tour last year.
He remembers when Heechul was close enough to touch, just hours ago during dance practice.
Now, Heechul is asleep in a bedroom Shindong's been in only a handful of times. This whole Full House thing bothers Shindong, but only for the foolish, unspeakable reason that it means less time with Heechul, and more time for Shindong to spend alone growing paranoid.
The girls in the house are pretty, and Shindong has seen the show's footage. He knows that the Russian girl knows just what to say to provoke Heechul, to send him into a tizzy, and Shindong knows better than anyone that this is when Heechul is his most vibrant. He loves having someone to attack, to work off his energy with. Shindong remembers vividly every time he's been the target of Heechul's sharp tongue and derisive remarks. He cherishes every time Heechul's ever hit him for a dirty song lyric slip-up, or berated him for telling a dumb joke, maybe even more so than he cherishes the hugs and compliments.
Those times haven't happened recently, though. Shindong tries to tell himself that it's all coincidence and circumstance. The Full House members have a set itinerary most days and Shindong usually isn't included. Their manager sees Shindong's frowns and tells him that now's his chance to relax a bit. No stress, no worry. Consider it a mini-vacation.
But there's one problem with that: The thing Shindong's apparently taking a vacation from is the one and only thing that really matters.
So here he is, dangling from a drainpipe, looking like an oversize cat-burglar and feeling ten inches tall.
He thinks it would have made more sense to just call, e-mail, drop by and use the front door. But Heechul has never been conventional, and Shindong can't bring himself to be conventional for Heechul. And the truth is, Shindong's worried that Heechul would ignore his call, delete his e-mail, or tell him that he was busy before closing the door in his face.
He wouldn't mean it, not really. But the not-meaning-it is what would hurt the most, especially when tonight, in a bizarre fit of confidence, Shindong has decided that what he has to say cannot possibly go ignored.
His shoes squeak against the brick wall as he shimmies upwards, careful to move slowly so as not to knock into the first floor window. For not having done this before, he's moving well. He has determination to make up for the things he lacks. When he finally reaches the window sill to the dorm's bathroom, he swings one leg up and follows it with the other until he's kneeling on the ledge just outside the bathroom. He doesn't hear any noise inside; he should be able to sneak in quietly, pull Heechul out of bed, pin him smoothly against a wall, and confess to him. At least that's how it plays out in Shindong's head.
Of course, in his mind he hadn't thought that the ledge might be old, the wood splintering under his knees and hooking on his pink speckled kneesocks. He hadn't thought that the window would be locked, or that it would have a lock on it at all. His dorm didn't have a lock on the bathroom window, but Heechul isn't in his dorm, and that's the root of this whole problem.
Shindong tries to pry the lock with the key from his pocket, to no success, and he groans in frustration as he chips his fingernail on the lock. He presses his face to the glass and looks into the bathroom. It looks like a normal bathroom except he can see a black cosmetic case on the shelf above the sink, lipstick and eyeliner sticking out just to taunt him. He groans again. It must belong to one of the girls, which one, Shindong isn't sure and doesn't care.
It's strange that Shindong feels threatened by them when he's never felt threatened by the other members. He's never thought much about Heechul's sexuality, just as he's never given much thought to his own. He just... likes Heechul, and it probably wouldn't matter if he were male or female. He's mistaken for a girl enough as it is.
This is really stupid, he thinks, banging his head against the window. He thinks he could climb down now and save himself some dignity, save this story for an episode of YSMM, a charming anecdote about his comical failure to woo his love, whose name would be conveniently omitted. Or he could stay. And hope.
And that's just what he does, because he's Shindong and because it's Heechul. He knocks on the window, the soft tap-tap rhythm of Heechul's favorite song this week. Shindong has a lot of bad luck but he just hopes it won't come back to bite him now, that Heechul will come and find him, and not Kangin or Donghae instead; they'd never let him live it down.
He waits, face pressed up to the window, his breath staining small circles on the glass.
And then he sees Heechul's face. Heechul strolls into the bathroom casually, flicks his hair out of his face and stares into the mirror. Shindong wonders if maybe he didn't hear his knocking at all and is just getting up in the night on his own. But then Heechul closes the bathroom door and strides over to the window. He waves at Shindong and smirks at him, as if to say, "What exactly do you want?" but then he unlocks the window and shoves it open. The lever is a little rusty so it takes a strong push, and Heechul closes his eyes as his fingers strain to prop it open. It allows Shindong a longer moment to stare at Heechul without getting caught.
"The all-night barbecue place is actually a block over," Heechul says, and then laughs. "Kidding." Shindong thinks Heechul's smile could light up the whole city.
"I-" Shindong starts, trying to remember what he'd written on that crumpled piece of paper in his back pocket, trying to find the words as well as keep his balance. He'll just have to improvise.
"Wait, wait," Heechul says, putting his finger to Shindong's lips. "I have something to tell you." He leans in close, dangerously, painfully close and Shindong feels his heart jump against the cage of his chest.
"You are-"
Shindong's breath hitches.
"-so gorgeous." Heechul is cupping his face in his hands now, a tender, open look in his eyes. Shindong wants to kiss him. He leans forward on the window ledge.
And that's when Heechul bursts out laughing, a hard, percussive sound that makes Shindong's little fantasy fall to pieces. "That was pretty good, wasn't it?" Heechul says. "I told you my English was getting better."
Shindong's face falls. "Yeah," he says blankly.
Heechul lets go of Shindong and leans back against the bathroom wall with his feet propped up on the toilet. "Now seriously, what are you doing here? It's nearly two am!"
Shindong looks down at the ground below him, and then up at Heechul again. "I needed to see you." It all comes out into a rush. Shindong sees Heechul's face change, and soon he's wearing an expression like his kitten just ran away again. Shindong wonders if he should keep going. "I mean, I… forever I've…"
Then Heechul's expression softens again and he grins. "You're supposed to say it in English or else it's just not the same!" Then he offers Shindong a hand. "Come on, come inside. You're so strange sometimes."
Shindong starts to crawl through the window. It's a tight fit. He isn't sure he'll be able to make it. He focuses on Heechul's face, Heechul's words of encouragement: "Just a little bit more. Almost there, almost there. Come on, Shindongie, you can give me more than that!" Shindong squeezes his eyes shut and sucks in his stomach, trying to make himself smaller. He really should have figured out the dimensions of the window before he tried this. "It's so tight!" he pants.
"Push, push," Heechul coaxes through bursts of shallow giggles. He's holding both Shindong's hands now in a grip so tight Shindong's afraid he'll lose circulation to his fingers. But he doesn't want him to let go. His palms are sweaty but they don't slip.
Shindong feels himself moving. He flails his legs in the air as though that will help propel him forward. "I'm so close!!" he exclaims, and Heechul presses his forehead to Shindong's. "Almost there," he whispers.
"Oh god," Shindong groans as Heechul pulls him all the way through and topples backwards, taking Shindong down with him. They land with a crash on the bathroom floor.
"Ow," Heechul squeaks, his voice muffled against Shindong's shoulder. Shindong apologizes and starts to move off of him when Heechul says, "Wait. Stay." His fingers hook around one of the buttons on Shindong's shirt and he looks up at Shindong, his face still flushed, his eyes sleepy, but content. He holds onto Shindong for only about thirty seconds but to Shindong it feels like a lifetime. He still wants to kiss Heechul. He still wishes he could confess, properly, get all the words out at once and not have Heechul think they were a joke, but this is still good. This is close enough. Shindong closes his eyes and listens to their rapid breathing, the loudest sound in the quiet bathroom.
"I love you," Shindong says quietly, in English.
And Heechul grins so big that all his teeth are showing. "That's better." And Shindong doesn't know if he gets it, but to have said it is enough; he feels lighter now.
They climb to their feet and brush themselves off. "I'll call you a cab," Heechul says, and Shindong's smile disappears at the thought of having to leave. "Or..." Heechul begins, and Shindong doesn't care how it ends as long as it means a few more moments at Heechul's side. "Or I guess while you're here we could go over some dances again?"
"I'd like that," Shindong says, but then remembers the time. "Are you sure you're not too tired?"
"I've gotten by on less sleep. Don't worry. Stay."
As they are leaving the bathroom, they're greeted by an interesting surprise. All of the other dorm members have been leaning against the door, listening intently. Hankyung practically falls over into Shindong's arms as the door swings open.
"Family gathering?" Heechul inquires.
The other members all look around nervously. Kangin starts whistling. Donghae is the first to speak. "We heard noises and came to investigate. Were you two really-" Siwon slaps a hand over Donghae's mouth. "-all right?" Siwon finishes, voice a little higher than usual. His cheeks go pink.
"We weren't doing anything," Heechul says firmly, and the words sting Shindong a bit. "Shindong was just stuck in the window," he adds, as though that explains everything.
Somehow, it does, because no one asks any further questions. As they all leave and file back to their bedrooms, giggling and whispering to themselves, Heechul looks at Shindong. "Why exactly were you trying to climb through the window in the first place? Next time you could just ring the doorbell."
Shindong smiles, just happy knowing there will be a next time.
Pairing: Heechul/Shindong
Summary: Shindong gets stuck in Heechul's window. (better than it sounds)
Rating: PG for immature innuendo
Word Count: ~2000
A/N: for Garland♥, with love. thank you to Laura for the encouragement.
So I felt around in the dark
Building rope ladders into your heart
Climbing hand over hand to get in
That's the shape I found you in
- Girlyman, "The Shape I found You In"
Shindong remembers when this was easier. He remembers tour hotels and vacation houses. He remembers bay windows and wooden gates, and he remembers snagging the cuffs of his pants more than once on shutter frames and hinges. He remembers when there weren't walls to scale or camera crews to avoid. He remembers when Heechul's room was just twenty paces from his own just months before on their tour last year.
He remembers when Heechul was close enough to touch, just hours ago during dance practice.
Now, Heechul is asleep in a bedroom Shindong's been in only a handful of times. This whole Full House thing bothers Shindong, but only for the foolish, unspeakable reason that it means less time with Heechul, and more time for Shindong to spend alone growing paranoid.
The girls in the house are pretty, and Shindong has seen the show's footage. He knows that the Russian girl knows just what to say to provoke Heechul, to send him into a tizzy, and Shindong knows better than anyone that this is when Heechul is his most vibrant. He loves having someone to attack, to work off his energy with. Shindong remembers vividly every time he's been the target of Heechul's sharp tongue and derisive remarks. He cherishes every time Heechul's ever hit him for a dirty song lyric slip-up, or berated him for telling a dumb joke, maybe even more so than he cherishes the hugs and compliments.
Those times haven't happened recently, though. Shindong tries to tell himself that it's all coincidence and circumstance. The Full House members have a set itinerary most days and Shindong usually isn't included. Their manager sees Shindong's frowns and tells him that now's his chance to relax a bit. No stress, no worry. Consider it a mini-vacation.
But there's one problem with that: The thing Shindong's apparently taking a vacation from is the one and only thing that really matters.
So here he is, dangling from a drainpipe, looking like an oversize cat-burglar and feeling ten inches tall.
He thinks it would have made more sense to just call, e-mail, drop by and use the front door. But Heechul has never been conventional, and Shindong can't bring himself to be conventional for Heechul. And the truth is, Shindong's worried that Heechul would ignore his call, delete his e-mail, or tell him that he was busy before closing the door in his face.
He wouldn't mean it, not really. But the not-meaning-it is what would hurt the most, especially when tonight, in a bizarre fit of confidence, Shindong has decided that what he has to say cannot possibly go ignored.
His shoes squeak against the brick wall as he shimmies upwards, careful to move slowly so as not to knock into the first floor window. For not having done this before, he's moving well. He has determination to make up for the things he lacks. When he finally reaches the window sill to the dorm's bathroom, he swings one leg up and follows it with the other until he's kneeling on the ledge just outside the bathroom. He doesn't hear any noise inside; he should be able to sneak in quietly, pull Heechul out of bed, pin him smoothly against a wall, and confess to him. At least that's how it plays out in Shindong's head.
Of course, in his mind he hadn't thought that the ledge might be old, the wood splintering under his knees and hooking on his pink speckled kneesocks. He hadn't thought that the window would be locked, or that it would have a lock on it at all. His dorm didn't have a lock on the bathroom window, but Heechul isn't in his dorm, and that's the root of this whole problem.
Shindong tries to pry the lock with the key from his pocket, to no success, and he groans in frustration as he chips his fingernail on the lock. He presses his face to the glass and looks into the bathroom. It looks like a normal bathroom except he can see a black cosmetic case on the shelf above the sink, lipstick and eyeliner sticking out just to taunt him. He groans again. It must belong to one of the girls, which one, Shindong isn't sure and doesn't care.
It's strange that Shindong feels threatened by them when he's never felt threatened by the other members. He's never thought much about Heechul's sexuality, just as he's never given much thought to his own. He just... likes Heechul, and it probably wouldn't matter if he were male or female. He's mistaken for a girl enough as it is.
This is really stupid, he thinks, banging his head against the window. He thinks he could climb down now and save himself some dignity, save this story for an episode of YSMM, a charming anecdote about his comical failure to woo his love, whose name would be conveniently omitted. Or he could stay. And hope.
And that's just what he does, because he's Shindong and because it's Heechul. He knocks on the window, the soft tap-tap rhythm of Heechul's favorite song this week. Shindong has a lot of bad luck but he just hopes it won't come back to bite him now, that Heechul will come and find him, and not Kangin or Donghae instead; they'd never let him live it down.
He waits, face pressed up to the window, his breath staining small circles on the glass.
And then he sees Heechul's face. Heechul strolls into the bathroom casually, flicks his hair out of his face and stares into the mirror. Shindong wonders if maybe he didn't hear his knocking at all and is just getting up in the night on his own. But then Heechul closes the bathroom door and strides over to the window. He waves at Shindong and smirks at him, as if to say, "What exactly do you want?" but then he unlocks the window and shoves it open. The lever is a little rusty so it takes a strong push, and Heechul closes his eyes as his fingers strain to prop it open. It allows Shindong a longer moment to stare at Heechul without getting caught.
"The all-night barbecue place is actually a block over," Heechul says, and then laughs. "Kidding." Shindong thinks Heechul's smile could light up the whole city.
"I-" Shindong starts, trying to remember what he'd written on that crumpled piece of paper in his back pocket, trying to find the words as well as keep his balance. He'll just have to improvise.
"Wait, wait," Heechul says, putting his finger to Shindong's lips. "I have something to tell you." He leans in close, dangerously, painfully close and Shindong feels his heart jump against the cage of his chest.
"You are-"
Shindong's breath hitches.
"-so gorgeous." Heechul is cupping his face in his hands now, a tender, open look in his eyes. Shindong wants to kiss him. He leans forward on the window ledge.
And that's when Heechul bursts out laughing, a hard, percussive sound that makes Shindong's little fantasy fall to pieces. "That was pretty good, wasn't it?" Heechul says. "I told you my English was getting better."
Shindong's face falls. "Yeah," he says blankly.
Heechul lets go of Shindong and leans back against the bathroom wall with his feet propped up on the toilet. "Now seriously, what are you doing here? It's nearly two am!"
Shindong looks down at the ground below him, and then up at Heechul again. "I needed to see you." It all comes out into a rush. Shindong sees Heechul's face change, and soon he's wearing an expression like his kitten just ran away again. Shindong wonders if he should keep going. "I mean, I… forever I've…"
Then Heechul's expression softens again and he grins. "You're supposed to say it in English or else it's just not the same!" Then he offers Shindong a hand. "Come on, come inside. You're so strange sometimes."
Shindong starts to crawl through the window. It's a tight fit. He isn't sure he'll be able to make it. He focuses on Heechul's face, Heechul's words of encouragement: "Just a little bit more. Almost there, almost there. Come on, Shindongie, you can give me more than that!" Shindong squeezes his eyes shut and sucks in his stomach, trying to make himself smaller. He really should have figured out the dimensions of the window before he tried this. "It's so tight!" he pants.
"Push, push," Heechul coaxes through bursts of shallow giggles. He's holding both Shindong's hands now in a grip so tight Shindong's afraid he'll lose circulation to his fingers. But he doesn't want him to let go. His palms are sweaty but they don't slip.
Shindong feels himself moving. He flails his legs in the air as though that will help propel him forward. "I'm so close!!" he exclaims, and Heechul presses his forehead to Shindong's. "Almost there," he whispers.
"Oh god," Shindong groans as Heechul pulls him all the way through and topples backwards, taking Shindong down with him. They land with a crash on the bathroom floor.
"Ow," Heechul squeaks, his voice muffled against Shindong's shoulder. Shindong apologizes and starts to move off of him when Heechul says, "Wait. Stay." His fingers hook around one of the buttons on Shindong's shirt and he looks up at Shindong, his face still flushed, his eyes sleepy, but content. He holds onto Shindong for only about thirty seconds but to Shindong it feels like a lifetime. He still wants to kiss Heechul. He still wishes he could confess, properly, get all the words out at once and not have Heechul think they were a joke, but this is still good. This is close enough. Shindong closes his eyes and listens to their rapid breathing, the loudest sound in the quiet bathroom.
"I love you," Shindong says quietly, in English.
And Heechul grins so big that all his teeth are showing. "That's better." And Shindong doesn't know if he gets it, but to have said it is enough; he feels lighter now.
They climb to their feet and brush themselves off. "I'll call you a cab," Heechul says, and Shindong's smile disappears at the thought of having to leave. "Or..." Heechul begins, and Shindong doesn't care how it ends as long as it means a few more moments at Heechul's side. "Or I guess while you're here we could go over some dances again?"
"I'd like that," Shindong says, but then remembers the time. "Are you sure you're not too tired?"
"I've gotten by on less sleep. Don't worry. Stay."
As they are leaving the bathroom, they're greeted by an interesting surprise. All of the other dorm members have been leaning against the door, listening intently. Hankyung practically falls over into Shindong's arms as the door swings open.
"Family gathering?" Heechul inquires.
The other members all look around nervously. Kangin starts whistling. Donghae is the first to speak. "We heard noises and came to investigate. Were you two really-" Siwon slaps a hand over Donghae's mouth. "-all right?" Siwon finishes, voice a little higher than usual. His cheeks go pink.
"We weren't doing anything," Heechul says firmly, and the words sting Shindong a bit. "Shindong was just stuck in the window," he adds, as though that explains everything.
Somehow, it does, because no one asks any further questions. As they all leave and file back to their bedrooms, giggling and whispering to themselves, Heechul looks at Shindong. "Why exactly were you trying to climb through the window in the first place? Next time you could just ring the doorbell."
Shindong smiles, just happy knowing there will be a next time.