(no subject)
My mom said that I was ruinng her marriage, and her life
Apparenty I saved it yesterday
SOOOOO this is going to be a way personal post....
Alright so I was worrying about my mom not last night but the night before, so I stead up till like 3am and since I was still not feeling good and extremely tired I wasen't going to go to school, waking up in the morning I decided that I should go to school at lunchtime. My mom had mentioned that she had to go to town so I was thinking that we could go into town then she could drive me to school after. I went to wake her up and as usual she doesn't wake up right away, then she starts kinda whining and mumbling, I continue to shake her and talk to her, still not waking up right away so I really start to get frustrated after like ten minutes so I start to yell after yelling she sits up, talks jibberish (she sometimes does this when she just wakes up)
after a haf hour of trying to wake her up and get her to answer my simple question of are you going to town and why she was going to town I called my dad, I was pretty pissed. Because it only usually means one thing, she's on the pain pills again. So after talking to my dad and getting more and more pissed off at the fact that my mom's a helpless little immature selfish child. I take a couple yelling screaming fits, of course being as fucked as she was she didn't understand any of it, just kept on talking jibberish and trying to make me feel better at the same time. I let go of my dad, not knowing what to do I went through her pills and found a bottle of oxy cotton (which is a highly addictive probaby the most trafficed pain pill on the market right now, not to mention very dangerous) it said that take two tablets daily(which my mom has been on morphine before so this alone was a very high dosage), and I knew for a fact that she had gotten them the day before because she had gotten my antibotics at the same time. I looked to see how many tablets there was supposed to be, 14 and how many was left? FOUR. I confronted her about it, and she just went on that she "sold them to Jeanette" which is her friend, who she obviousy didn't sell them to because she had been trying to stay clean from acholol and everything, then it ends up that she says she "sold them to Gary" which I know for a fact that she didn't because she didn't go there. SO here I went into a screaming crying rampage because I didn' tknow what the hell else to do, why couldn't I have a normal mother, why in fucking hell do I have to take care of her. I WAS SICK OF IT. I called my dad again I told him it was either me or her because I'm done and I'm not putting up with this anymore.
My dad said to take her to her mother's I said I was taking her to mental health or the treatment center
After a lot of screaming at her to get the fuck in the car and alot of her trying to tell me I was wrong. I drove all the way into town with her sleeping in the passenger seat, she didn't even know where she was when I pulled up to the addictions place, that pissed me off more so I just started to scream to get the hell out of the car and to never talk to me again. She did, she wanted me to wait I kept on yelling and freaking out, just coudn't take the stress, I didn't agree to have this burden upon me, like I mean how many kids can say they had to take their mother to the treatment center, like fuck.
I drove home alone without my lisense, got home and Mo came over, he'll probaby never know the whole thing, I dunno why I[m really posting this, I guess I shouldn't but I will. My mother called me today taked for a little while but and she thanked me for taking her there...
apparently if I didn't take her there, if I didn't wake her up when I did she would've died in her sleep. Or if she would've taken the last 4 pills she woud've died for sure, because there was enough medication in her body at that time she should've been dead in the first place. Yeah I feel bad that I treated her the way I did when she was like that because all I did was freak out the whole time and lose my temper, but I was too frustrated to think anything else. When I talked to her all she could do was cry and appoligize, she had been off pills for a long time now and I guess she just had a relapse. BUT the thing is that it's her doc's fault, giving a drug addict OXYCOTTON, I want to sue her, I don't give a fuck, she's known my mom for years and she's the one that treated her when she was going through getting off pills and she gave her FUCKING OXYCOTTON, she nearly KILLED MY MOTHER, and it's not my mom's fault she's an addict FUCK a doctor someone who knows thats she can't be trusted with that stuff and she gave them to her.
anyways I guess this is really personal post...