Dare to love (8/?)
Hey guys, here’s the new chapter! Thank you for all of your reviews and I hope you enjoy! :)
Chapter 8
“Brittany, we’ve talked about this.” Santana whispered agitatedly as she followed her less than amused girlfriend into the kitchen.
“No we didn’t.” Brittany argued, spinning around to face her girlfriend “You talked about this and you didn’t give me a chance to argue with you. I have to see Quinn.”
Santana quickly shushed the blonde and looked around the kitchen door to make sure Rachel hadn’t heard what Brittany had said. Sure enough the brunette was curled up on the couch, her head resting against her fist as she stared vacantly at the TV screen. Confident that they hadn’t been heard Santana looked back at Brittany “You can’t go.”
“I can.” Brittany disagreed “I have to see Quinn. I need to see her and you have to stay here with Rachel.”
“Why do you have to?!” Santana exclaimed loudly.
“Because she’s my friend.” Brittany answered as if it was the most obvious thing in the world “She’s our friend and she’s hurting so we should be there for her. She wouldn’t just abandon…”
“Bullshit.” Santana interrupted fiercely “You know damn well that Quinn forgot we existed as soon as we started high school.”
“She already said that she’s sorry like a thousand times.” Brittany defended “I meant that she wouldn’t just leave us now.”
“Really?!” Santana asked sceptically “Do you see her anywhere here right now?” she gestured erratically around the kitchen before turning back to Brittany “No. Because she’s left us Britt!”
“No, she hasn’t.” Brittany responded, her voice slightly meeker than a moment ago “Quinn wouldn’t stay away for no reason. She’s just sad and confused so somebody should be there for her.”
“Why does it have to be you all of the time?” Santana asked loudly “Why can’t you let somebody else deal with Quinn? I’ll do it!”
Brittany looked confused by the statement “But I don’t want to ‘deal’ with her. I need to see her to make sure she’s okay.”
“Fine, I’ll go with you.” Santana negotiated.
“But we can’t leave Rachel alone.” Brittany frowned as she looked over Santana’s shoulder towards the doorway “And I don’t think seeing Quinn would be good for her.”
“Well you’re not going over there alone.” Santana decreed adamantly.
“Why? Don’t you trust me?”
“I don’t trust her!” Santana whisper yelled, mindful of Rachel’s presence a few meagre feet away from them “It’s not you, it’s her!”
“…You don’t trust Quinn?” Brittany asked cluelessly “Why?”
“Because I don’t!” Santana exclaimed vaguely “And I don’t want you to go over there without me, okay?!”
“But I need to see her.” Brittany argued quietly “She doesn’t have anybody else now.”
“That’s not your problem!” Santana countered vehemently “Just stay away from her. If she wanted our help she would come and ask us for it.”
“You know Quinn would never do that though.” Brittany replied reasonably “She wouldn’t ask for our help because she’s too proud to ask without somebody offering first and she wouldn’t come over because Rachel is here.”
“Damn it Brittany!” Santana snapped irritably, slamming a perfectly manicured hand onto the counter next to her. She cursed under her breath at the loud bang that resonated around the room and the sudden throbbing in the palm of her hand. Brittany’s gaze averted to the hand in question but she didn’t flinch at the action. She glanced back up however when Santana began to speak again “Why can’t you leave well enough alone? Let somebody else help Quinn but just stay the fuck away from her.”
“Why?” Brittany questioned, her bottom lip trembling ever so slightly. Santana had gotten mad at her before but she had never used such an incensed tone while speaking to her “Quinn is our best friend.”
“Well, she isn’t acting like it!” Santana retorted “She just wants to take advantage of you and you’re letting her!”
“Why are you being like this?” Brittany asked quietly, her eyes filled with unshed tears “Quinn isn’t like that.”
Santana faltered slightly upon seeing that Brittany was on the verge of crying and she moved to take a couple of steps closer “Britt, I don’t mean to hurt you. I’m just…”
“I have to go.” Brittany sniffled and wiped at her eyes “We’ll talk about this later.”
“Britt, wait…” Santana said as Brittany brushed past her and walked out of the kitchen “Brittany!” she heard the front door slam behind the blonde and her shoulders slumped in defeat “I’m just scared…” she bit down hard on her bottom lip to hold back the tears that were starting to form in her eyes and began to curse herself for being so persistent “…Such a fucking idiot…” she kicked at the ground and sighed heavily before turning to walk into the living room. Santana was relieved to find that Rachel was still sitting on the couch and moved to sit close to her.
“Hey.” She muttered sullenly.
“Hi.” Rachel whispered, lifting her head from her hand and shuffling to the left so that she was pressed closer to Santana “Are you okay?”
“No.” Santana answered with a sigh “Are you?”
“No.” Rachel offered a weak smile which quickly faded away “I heard what happened with Brittany.”
“Oh…”
“You shouldn’t have yelled at her like that.” Rachel said disapprovingly.
“I know.” Santana murmured forlornly. Rachel sensed the hopelessness in Santana’s voice and reached over to grasp her hand as they fell into silence.
“I don’t want what’s going on between Quinn and I to affect your relationship with Brittany.” Rachel stated, her voice dripping with concern.
“We’re not arguing about that.” Santana assured her “Don’t worry.”
“What are you arguing about?” Rachel asked, making sure to quickly add “If you don’t mind me asking.”
“I don’t mind…but I can’t talk to you about this.”
“Oh…okay.” Rachel looked slightly hurt by Santana’s unwillingness to talk about what was going on between her and Brittany but she opted not to push the subject.
“It’s not that I don’t want to.” Santana continued quickly, reluctant to cause Rachel any more anguish than she was already experiencing because of the situation with Quinn “I just can’t.”
“If you’re can’t talk to me and Brittany is out of the question, who can you talk to?” Rachel asked in concern.
Santana hesitated for a moment before reluctantly responding “I don’t know.”
“You and Brittany are going to be okay though, right?” Rachel asked, a hint of hopeful desperation in her voice “Please tell me you’re going to be okay. If anything happened between the two of you, I don’t know what I would do.”
“Hey,” Santana curled her free around the worried girls shoulders and pulled her close “Don’t worry about me and Brittany, okay? We’ll be fine. She’ll come back and I’ll apologise and…and we’ll be fine.” Despite her best efforts she couldn’t keep the nervous tremor from her voice and she silently hoped that Rachel wouldn’t notice it.
“Really?” Rachel murmured before looking up at Santana with big brown eyes “I would hate to see anything tear you two apart like Qui…”
“I know.” Santana said when Rachel trailed off. She wavered for a moment, unsure as to how to reassure the diva when she was asking herself the very same question “But I trust Brittany…She wouldn’t do that to me.”
“Do…what to you, exactly?”
“Rach…” Santana sighed at the curious tone of Rachel’s voice “I can’t.”
“Okay, I’m sorry.” Rachel detected Santana’s sudden tenseness and rushed to apologise for pushing, if only to keep her friend from withdrawing physically “We don’t have to talk about it. I just want you to know that if you ever do need to talk to somebody, I’m here for you regardless of what is going on with me at the time.”
Santana shook her head in stunned amazement, the fact that Rachel was offering her help even though she was going through emotional turmoil herself because of Quinn, slightly overwhelming to her. She managed a weak smile and a whispered “Ditto” in response to the statement.
Rachel stared at Santana for a moment before moving her head back to it’s comfortable position on the taller girls shoulder “Brittany loves you anyway.” She said resolutely “She would never do anything to hurt you.”
“I hope so.” Santana whispered, leaning her head against Rachel’s as she tried to ignore the uneasy feeling in her stomach “I really hope so.”
XxQRBSQRBSxX
Quinn groaned upon hearing the sound of the doorbell being rung, indicating that her peace and quiet was about to come to an end. She pressed mute on the TV and silently hoped that whoever was at the front door would give up and go away. A loud knock sounded and Quinn felt a spark of hope ignite at the thought that maybe Santana had returned to talk. She hesitated for moment longer before hauling herself off the couch and ambling towards the door. She stumbled slightly on the way, her equilibrium off set by the bottle of wine she was in the process of consuming. Finally reaching the door, Quinn pulled it open to reveal Brittany standing in front of her, her hand raised in a knocking gesture “Oh…”
“Quinn!” Brittany exclaimed, a small smile creeping onto her tear stained face at the sight of her friend.
Quinn couldn't help the small smile that tugged at her lips and she merely stared in silence for a moment before shiftily averting her eyes “You shouldn’t be here.”
Brittany’s smile slipped away at the statement “Can I come in?” she noticed Quinn looked unsure so she ducked her head to imploringly meet the other girl’s eyes “Please?”
Quinn hesitated for a moment before stepping back to allow Brittany to pass. When the taller girl walked inside Quinn shut the door and walked back into the living room where she dropped down onto the couch.
Brittany on the other hand stayed standing, taking in the untidy sight of the living room “It looks like you have borrowers.”
“What?” Quinn frowned in confusion.
“Little people who live in your walls and mess everything up when you’re not looking.” Brittany answered simply as she walked over to the couch, stepping over various object on the floor as she went “You’ve never seen the movie?”
Quinn shook her head silently.
“Really? We should wa…”
“Does Santana know that you’re here?” Quinn interrupted bluntly. She may have been tipsy but she didn’t fail to notice the way Brittany’s expression darkened at the question.
“Yes.” Brittany sat down on the couch, only to have Quinn scoot away from her.
“And she’s okay with that?” Quinn asked sceptically. She watched Brittany’s expression carefully, finally noticing the tear stains on her cheeks “Have you been crying?”
“We got into a fight.” Brittany answered, looking troubled “She didn’t want me to come.”
“Maybe you should leave.” Quinn said as she reached for the abandoned bottle of wine next to the couch “I don’t want to cause any trouble between you.”
“I came to see if you’re okay.” Brittany said, ignoring the question. She watched in concern as Quinn took a deep drink from the bottle in her hand “But obviously you’re not.”
“I’m fine.” Quinn stated carelessly “Don’t I seem fine?”
“Quinn, you’re not.” Brittany tried to reach for the bottle in Quinn’s hand but it was pulled away at the last second “I just want to help you.”
Quinn released a bitter huff of a laugh at that “Right…you want to help me.”
“I don’t understand what I did to make you act like this.” Brittany confessed, her eyes slightly misty “Can you please just tell me because I want my friend back…”
Quinn was silent for a long moment before shaking her head “You didn’t do anything.” She looked up at Brittany, her eyes slightly teary “Britt this isn’t your fault, okay? It’s not yours or Santana’s o-or Rachel’s…It’s mine.”
“Then why won’t you talk to us?” Brittany asked desperately “And why did you break up with Rachel?”
“It’s complicated.” Quinn sighed “You…you wouldn’t…”
“I would.” Brittany insisted “I know I act stupid sometimes but I’m not. I would understand if you told me.”
Quinn closed her eyes for a moment to compose herself “I know you’re not stupid Brittany. I didn’t mean that.”
“So tell me what’s wrong.”
“It’s just…better for everyone if I stay away right now.” Quinn explained vaguely. She paused for a moment to take a quick drink of her wine in a vain attempt to keep her emotions at bay “It’s better like this.”
“Not for me.” Brittany argued stubbornly “I miss you. And I know San and Rachel miss you too.”
“I miss you guys too.” Quinn whispered honestly, turning her gaze down to her lap “I really do.”
“Come back with me.” Brittany murmured pleadingly. She moved her hand under Quinn’s chin and gently urged her head up until their eyes met “Come back to Rachel’s with me and we can work this out. All four of us.”
“I can’t.” Quinn broke free from Brittany’s touch and moved a couple of inches away from her “I can’t go back to the way thing were when I feel like this. I just can’t. It’s not fair to any of you.”
“When you feel like what?” Brittany asked hurriedly “Quinn, just tell me!” she waited for a response but when Quinn merely stared at her she quickly continued “Is this about Rachel because I’m sure she still loves you too and…”
“This isn’t about Rachel.”
“Quinn…”
“Just stop.” Quinn stated firmly “Please.”
“If you don’t tell me what’s wrong, I don’t know how to help you.” Brittany said, her bottom lip trembling ever so slightly “I need to help you Q.”
“I don’t deserve your help.” Quinn whispered self-deprecatingly “Or your friendship.”
“What are you talking about?” Brittany gaped at her friend in shock “Of course you do.”
Quinn offered a silent shake of her head in response and lifted the quarter full bottle of wine to her lips.
Brittany watched worriedly as Quinn chugged the alcohol down without so much as coming up for a breath of air “You’re going to make yourself sick.” Brittany frowned worriedly as she watched Quinn’s attempt to drain the bottle “Quinn, stop!” she reached forward and grabbed the bottom of the bottle, pulling it away from Quinn’s grip and inadvertently spilling alcohol on her.
“You said that before.” Quinn mused with a bitter laugh as she fumbled to wipe the alcohol from her chin and shirt “Remember?”
Brittany’s brow furrowed thoughtfully for a moment before the memory came back to her “I remember.”
“And look where that got me.” Quinn continued as if she hadn’t heard what Brittany had said “I knew playing that game would only cause trouble. I should have said no. If I had, I wouldn’t have all of these feelings or at least I wouldn’t feel all of these feelings even if they were there…”
“Quinn, what are you talking about?” Brittany asked again. The girl in question lurched forward slightly and Brittany threw up her hands to steady her “I think you’re drunk.”
“I think I’m drunk too.” Quinn responded seriously “Just a little bit though. I haven’t drunk much really.”
Brittany cast a glance at the mostly empty wine bottle in her lap and moved to put it on the floor.
“Don’t.” Quinn grabbed Brittany’s hand and placed it back on her shoulder “Can we just…stay like this for a minute? I haven’t been…” she faltered for a moment, her voice cracking with emotion before she pressed on “Just a minute?”
“Quinn, I’m worried about you.” Brittany whispered, though she immediately tightened her grip on Quinn’s shoulders “You won’t talk to us, you won’t come to school, you’re drinking too much…I’m just really worried about you.”
“What do you want from me Britt?” Quinn asked desperately as she moved her hands to Brittany’s atop her shoulders “Why are you here?”
“I’m here because I love you.” Brittany answered earnestly “And I want to know what’s wrong with you.”
“That is what’s wrong with me!” Quinn exclaimed, though she didn’t move her hands away from Brittany’s.
“What?”
“Can’t you see?” Quinn asked in frustration “I love you more than you love me.”
“Why would you think that?” Brittany frowned at the statement “Quinn, you’re my best friend. Of course I love…”
In one drunken movement Quinn removed Brittany’s hands from her shoulders and surged forward to kiss her, effectively interrupting what she was saying. Although she was somewhat stunned by the movement Brittany instinctively returned the kiss, her eyes fluttering shut.
Quinn’s hands moved to thread through Brittany’s hair and she pressed closer, desperately deepening the kiss as if she knew it was the last time she would have the chance.
“Mmm…Quinn…” Brittany placed her hands on Quinn’s shoulders and gently pushed her away “What….? Are you saying…?”
“I’m sorry Britt!” Quinn exclaimed in horror as tears formed in her eyes “I didn’t mean to…Fuck. I told Santana… I said I wouldn’t. I’m so sorry…”
“Hey…” Brittany carefully tugged Quinn into her arms and held the distraught girl close to her, though her expression remained stunned.
“I’m sorry.” Quinn sobbed softly into Brittany’s chest.
“It’s okay.” Brittany murmured thoughtfully. She placed a soft kiss atop Quinn’s head and proceeded to soothingly shush her, her fingers running lightly through short blonde hair “It’s okay…”
XxQRBSQRBSxX
“Santana?”
Santana and Rachel looked up from the TV to see a shaky Brittany standing in the doorway and they instantly shot to their feet. Santana got to Brittany’s side first and she pulled the clearly troubled girl into a tight embrace.
“Brittany, are you okay?” Rachel asked in concern “You don’t look so great.”
“Yeah…Yeah, I’m fine.” Brittany answered, shooting Rachel a weak smile over Santana’s shoulder “Santana…Can I talk to you for a minute? Alone?”
“Um…sure.” Santana answered nervously as she pulled back from the embrace.
“Do you mind Rach?” Brittany asked, her gaze shifting between Rachel and Santana “I know this is your house and I shouldn’t ask bu…”
“Don’t worry about it.” Rachel waved Brittany’s concerns off “I understand that you both have things you need to discuss. I’ll just leave you to it.” She was about to walk off when Brittany gripped her wrist, keeping her in place.
“It’s fine. We’ll go into the kitchen…We won’t be long.” Brittany said before she leaned down and pressed a quick kiss to Rachel’s cheek.
Rachel nodded though she was slightly distracted by the unusually serious tone of Brittany’s voice. Usually the blonde’s tone was light and airy, the only exception being when Rachel or Santana (or Quinn) were in a state of distress.
Brittany walked out of the room with Santana hot on her heels and walked into the kitchen where she turned around and waited for her girlfriend to catch up to her.
As soon as Santana walked into the room she began to apologise “Britt, I’m sorry I yelled at you earlier. I didn’t mean to upset you or…”
“I think Quinn is in love with me.” Brittany interrupted rather bluntly “No…I know she is.”
“Oh…” Santana’s expression was far from shocked but it was clear that the statement stung “How-How do you feel about that?” she was aware that the question sounded a bit dumb and rather shrink-esque but she couldn’t bring herself to outright ask Brittany the question that was playing on her mind.
Are you going to leave me?
“You knew?” Brittany frowned “And you didn’t tell me?”
“I didn’t…” Santana licked her lips nervously before replying “I was scared.”
Brittany moved closer to her girlfriend “What are you scared of?”
“I…Look, I love you Brittany.” Santana said openly “If you ever left me…”
“I’m never going to leave you.” Brittany disagreed softly as Santana trailed off. She lifted a hand and placed it on Santana’s cheek encouraging their eyes to meet “I’ve known since I first met you when we were five years old that I’m never going to leave you San. I love you.”
Santana smiled, her eyes glowing with moisture “Really?”
“Really.” Brittany confirmed the statement with a soft kiss.
“Have you been drinking?” Santana asked when she pulled away, tasting something fruity and alcoholic on Brittany’s tongue.
“No, Quinn was drinking w…” Brittany began to reply but stopped midsentence when she realised what she was saying. From the horrified look in Santana’s eyes it was clear that she had understood the implication too.
“You kissed her?” Santana asked as she backed away from the dancer, her stomach swirling uncomfortably “A-are you seriously telling me this after what you just said?”
“Santana stop.” Brittany moved forward and wrapped her arms around Santana’s waist to pull her close and keep her from retreating both physically and emotionally “She kissed me. And I only kissed her back for a second or two…”
“So you are in love with her too.” Santana finally stopped fighting, her shoulders slumping in defeat.
“I am.” Brittany answered softly “But so are you.”
“What?!” Santana exclaimed in stunned disbelief “No I’m not.”
“Yes, you are.” Brittany corrected gently “Santana, I know. I’ve known for a long time and…it’s okay because I know you would never leave me.”
Santana was silent for a moment, feeling guilty for doubting Brittany’s loyalty towards her. Finally she spoke up quietly “But she loves you back Britt. She doesn’t love me.”
“You honestly think that?” Brittany smiled softly at Santana’s obliviousness “Of course she loves you. I know she does.”
“She doesn’t.”
“She does. Trust me.”
“Even if she did love me… and I’m not saying that she does.” Santana said warily “What am I supposed to do now that I know?”
Brittany’s expression turned gravely serious again “We have to help her.”
TBC
Chapter 8
“Brittany, we’ve talked about this.” Santana whispered agitatedly as she followed her less than amused girlfriend into the kitchen.
“No we didn’t.” Brittany argued, spinning around to face her girlfriend “You talked about this and you didn’t give me a chance to argue with you. I have to see Quinn.”
Santana quickly shushed the blonde and looked around the kitchen door to make sure Rachel hadn’t heard what Brittany had said. Sure enough the brunette was curled up on the couch, her head resting against her fist as she stared vacantly at the TV screen. Confident that they hadn’t been heard Santana looked back at Brittany “You can’t go.”
“I can.” Brittany disagreed “I have to see Quinn. I need to see her and you have to stay here with Rachel.”
“Why do you have to?!” Santana exclaimed loudly.
“Because she’s my friend.” Brittany answered as if it was the most obvious thing in the world “She’s our friend and she’s hurting so we should be there for her. She wouldn’t just abandon…”
“Bullshit.” Santana interrupted fiercely “You know damn well that Quinn forgot we existed as soon as we started high school.”
“She already said that she’s sorry like a thousand times.” Brittany defended “I meant that she wouldn’t just leave us now.”
“Really?!” Santana asked sceptically “Do you see her anywhere here right now?” she gestured erratically around the kitchen before turning back to Brittany “No. Because she’s left us Britt!”
“No, she hasn’t.” Brittany responded, her voice slightly meeker than a moment ago “Quinn wouldn’t stay away for no reason. She’s just sad and confused so somebody should be there for her.”
“Why does it have to be you all of the time?” Santana asked loudly “Why can’t you let somebody else deal with Quinn? I’ll do it!”
Brittany looked confused by the statement “But I don’t want to ‘deal’ with her. I need to see her to make sure she’s okay.”
“Fine, I’ll go with you.” Santana negotiated.
“But we can’t leave Rachel alone.” Brittany frowned as she looked over Santana’s shoulder towards the doorway “And I don’t think seeing Quinn would be good for her.”
“Well you’re not going over there alone.” Santana decreed adamantly.
“Why? Don’t you trust me?”
“I don’t trust her!” Santana whisper yelled, mindful of Rachel’s presence a few meagre feet away from them “It’s not you, it’s her!”
“…You don’t trust Quinn?” Brittany asked cluelessly “Why?”
“Because I don’t!” Santana exclaimed vaguely “And I don’t want you to go over there without me, okay?!”
“But I need to see her.” Brittany argued quietly “She doesn’t have anybody else now.”
“That’s not your problem!” Santana countered vehemently “Just stay away from her. If she wanted our help she would come and ask us for it.”
“You know Quinn would never do that though.” Brittany replied reasonably “She wouldn’t ask for our help because she’s too proud to ask without somebody offering first and she wouldn’t come over because Rachel is here.”
“Damn it Brittany!” Santana snapped irritably, slamming a perfectly manicured hand onto the counter next to her. She cursed under her breath at the loud bang that resonated around the room and the sudden throbbing in the palm of her hand. Brittany’s gaze averted to the hand in question but she didn’t flinch at the action. She glanced back up however when Santana began to speak again “Why can’t you leave well enough alone? Let somebody else help Quinn but just stay the fuck away from her.”
“Why?” Brittany questioned, her bottom lip trembling ever so slightly. Santana had gotten mad at her before but she had never used such an incensed tone while speaking to her “Quinn is our best friend.”
“Well, she isn’t acting like it!” Santana retorted “She just wants to take advantage of you and you’re letting her!”
“Why are you being like this?” Brittany asked quietly, her eyes filled with unshed tears “Quinn isn’t like that.”
Santana faltered slightly upon seeing that Brittany was on the verge of crying and she moved to take a couple of steps closer “Britt, I don’t mean to hurt you. I’m just…”
“I have to go.” Brittany sniffled and wiped at her eyes “We’ll talk about this later.”
“Britt, wait…” Santana said as Brittany brushed past her and walked out of the kitchen “Brittany!” she heard the front door slam behind the blonde and her shoulders slumped in defeat “I’m just scared…” she bit down hard on her bottom lip to hold back the tears that were starting to form in her eyes and began to curse herself for being so persistent “…Such a fucking idiot…” she kicked at the ground and sighed heavily before turning to walk into the living room. Santana was relieved to find that Rachel was still sitting on the couch and moved to sit close to her.
“Hey.” She muttered sullenly.
“Hi.” Rachel whispered, lifting her head from her hand and shuffling to the left so that she was pressed closer to Santana “Are you okay?”
“No.” Santana answered with a sigh “Are you?”
“No.” Rachel offered a weak smile which quickly faded away “I heard what happened with Brittany.”
“Oh…”
“You shouldn’t have yelled at her like that.” Rachel said disapprovingly.
“I know.” Santana murmured forlornly. Rachel sensed the hopelessness in Santana’s voice and reached over to grasp her hand as they fell into silence.
“I don’t want what’s going on between Quinn and I to affect your relationship with Brittany.” Rachel stated, her voice dripping with concern.
“We’re not arguing about that.” Santana assured her “Don’t worry.”
“What are you arguing about?” Rachel asked, making sure to quickly add “If you don’t mind me asking.”
“I don’t mind…but I can’t talk to you about this.”
“Oh…okay.” Rachel looked slightly hurt by Santana’s unwillingness to talk about what was going on between her and Brittany but she opted not to push the subject.
“It’s not that I don’t want to.” Santana continued quickly, reluctant to cause Rachel any more anguish than she was already experiencing because of the situation with Quinn “I just can’t.”
“If you’re can’t talk to me and Brittany is out of the question, who can you talk to?” Rachel asked in concern.
Santana hesitated for a moment before reluctantly responding “I don’t know.”
“You and Brittany are going to be okay though, right?” Rachel asked, a hint of hopeful desperation in her voice “Please tell me you’re going to be okay. If anything happened between the two of you, I don’t know what I would do.”
“Hey,” Santana curled her free around the worried girls shoulders and pulled her close “Don’t worry about me and Brittany, okay? We’ll be fine. She’ll come back and I’ll apologise and…and we’ll be fine.” Despite her best efforts she couldn’t keep the nervous tremor from her voice and she silently hoped that Rachel wouldn’t notice it.
“Really?” Rachel murmured before looking up at Santana with big brown eyes “I would hate to see anything tear you two apart like Qui…”
“I know.” Santana said when Rachel trailed off. She wavered for a moment, unsure as to how to reassure the diva when she was asking herself the very same question “But I trust Brittany…She wouldn’t do that to me.”
“Do…what to you, exactly?”
“Rach…” Santana sighed at the curious tone of Rachel’s voice “I can’t.”
“Okay, I’m sorry.” Rachel detected Santana’s sudden tenseness and rushed to apologise for pushing, if only to keep her friend from withdrawing physically “We don’t have to talk about it. I just want you to know that if you ever do need to talk to somebody, I’m here for you regardless of what is going on with me at the time.”
Santana shook her head in stunned amazement, the fact that Rachel was offering her help even though she was going through emotional turmoil herself because of Quinn, slightly overwhelming to her. She managed a weak smile and a whispered “Ditto” in response to the statement.
Rachel stared at Santana for a moment before moving her head back to it’s comfortable position on the taller girls shoulder “Brittany loves you anyway.” She said resolutely “She would never do anything to hurt you.”
“I hope so.” Santana whispered, leaning her head against Rachel’s as she tried to ignore the uneasy feeling in her stomach “I really hope so.”
XxQRBSQRBSxX
Quinn groaned upon hearing the sound of the doorbell being rung, indicating that her peace and quiet was about to come to an end. She pressed mute on the TV and silently hoped that whoever was at the front door would give up and go away. A loud knock sounded and Quinn felt a spark of hope ignite at the thought that maybe Santana had returned to talk. She hesitated for moment longer before hauling herself off the couch and ambling towards the door. She stumbled slightly on the way, her equilibrium off set by the bottle of wine she was in the process of consuming. Finally reaching the door, Quinn pulled it open to reveal Brittany standing in front of her, her hand raised in a knocking gesture “Oh…”
“Quinn!” Brittany exclaimed, a small smile creeping onto her tear stained face at the sight of her friend.
Quinn couldn't help the small smile that tugged at her lips and she merely stared in silence for a moment before shiftily averting her eyes “You shouldn’t be here.”
Brittany’s smile slipped away at the statement “Can I come in?” she noticed Quinn looked unsure so she ducked her head to imploringly meet the other girl’s eyes “Please?”
Quinn hesitated for a moment before stepping back to allow Brittany to pass. When the taller girl walked inside Quinn shut the door and walked back into the living room where she dropped down onto the couch.
Brittany on the other hand stayed standing, taking in the untidy sight of the living room “It looks like you have borrowers.”
“What?” Quinn frowned in confusion.
“Little people who live in your walls and mess everything up when you’re not looking.” Brittany answered simply as she walked over to the couch, stepping over various object on the floor as she went “You’ve never seen the movie?”
Quinn shook her head silently.
“Really? We should wa…”
“Does Santana know that you’re here?” Quinn interrupted bluntly. She may have been tipsy but she didn’t fail to notice the way Brittany’s expression darkened at the question.
“Yes.” Brittany sat down on the couch, only to have Quinn scoot away from her.
“And she’s okay with that?” Quinn asked sceptically. She watched Brittany’s expression carefully, finally noticing the tear stains on her cheeks “Have you been crying?”
“We got into a fight.” Brittany answered, looking troubled “She didn’t want me to come.”
“Maybe you should leave.” Quinn said as she reached for the abandoned bottle of wine next to the couch “I don’t want to cause any trouble between you.”
“I came to see if you’re okay.” Brittany said, ignoring the question. She watched in concern as Quinn took a deep drink from the bottle in her hand “But obviously you’re not.”
“I’m fine.” Quinn stated carelessly “Don’t I seem fine?”
“Quinn, you’re not.” Brittany tried to reach for the bottle in Quinn’s hand but it was pulled away at the last second “I just want to help you.”
Quinn released a bitter huff of a laugh at that “Right…you want to help me.”
“I don’t understand what I did to make you act like this.” Brittany confessed, her eyes slightly misty “Can you please just tell me because I want my friend back…”
Quinn was silent for a long moment before shaking her head “You didn’t do anything.” She looked up at Brittany, her eyes slightly teary “Britt this isn’t your fault, okay? It’s not yours or Santana’s o-or Rachel’s…It’s mine.”
“Then why won’t you talk to us?” Brittany asked desperately “And why did you break up with Rachel?”
“It’s complicated.” Quinn sighed “You…you wouldn’t…”
“I would.” Brittany insisted “I know I act stupid sometimes but I’m not. I would understand if you told me.”
Quinn closed her eyes for a moment to compose herself “I know you’re not stupid Brittany. I didn’t mean that.”
“So tell me what’s wrong.”
“It’s just…better for everyone if I stay away right now.” Quinn explained vaguely. She paused for a moment to take a quick drink of her wine in a vain attempt to keep her emotions at bay “It’s better like this.”
“Not for me.” Brittany argued stubbornly “I miss you. And I know San and Rachel miss you too.”
“I miss you guys too.” Quinn whispered honestly, turning her gaze down to her lap “I really do.”
“Come back with me.” Brittany murmured pleadingly. She moved her hand under Quinn’s chin and gently urged her head up until their eyes met “Come back to Rachel’s with me and we can work this out. All four of us.”
“I can’t.” Quinn broke free from Brittany’s touch and moved a couple of inches away from her “I can’t go back to the way thing were when I feel like this. I just can’t. It’s not fair to any of you.”
“When you feel like what?” Brittany asked hurriedly “Quinn, just tell me!” she waited for a response but when Quinn merely stared at her she quickly continued “Is this about Rachel because I’m sure she still loves you too and…”
“This isn’t about Rachel.”
“Quinn…”
“Just stop.” Quinn stated firmly “Please.”
“If you don’t tell me what’s wrong, I don’t know how to help you.” Brittany said, her bottom lip trembling ever so slightly “I need to help you Q.”
“I don’t deserve your help.” Quinn whispered self-deprecatingly “Or your friendship.”
“What are you talking about?” Brittany gaped at her friend in shock “Of course you do.”
Quinn offered a silent shake of her head in response and lifted the quarter full bottle of wine to her lips.
Brittany watched worriedly as Quinn chugged the alcohol down without so much as coming up for a breath of air “You’re going to make yourself sick.” Brittany frowned worriedly as she watched Quinn’s attempt to drain the bottle “Quinn, stop!” she reached forward and grabbed the bottom of the bottle, pulling it away from Quinn’s grip and inadvertently spilling alcohol on her.
“You said that before.” Quinn mused with a bitter laugh as she fumbled to wipe the alcohol from her chin and shirt “Remember?”
Brittany’s brow furrowed thoughtfully for a moment before the memory came back to her “I remember.”
“And look where that got me.” Quinn continued as if she hadn’t heard what Brittany had said “I knew playing that game would only cause trouble. I should have said no. If I had, I wouldn’t have all of these feelings or at least I wouldn’t feel all of these feelings even if they were there…”
“Quinn, what are you talking about?” Brittany asked again. The girl in question lurched forward slightly and Brittany threw up her hands to steady her “I think you’re drunk.”
“I think I’m drunk too.” Quinn responded seriously “Just a little bit though. I haven’t drunk much really.”
Brittany cast a glance at the mostly empty wine bottle in her lap and moved to put it on the floor.
“Don’t.” Quinn grabbed Brittany’s hand and placed it back on her shoulder “Can we just…stay like this for a minute? I haven’t been…” she faltered for a moment, her voice cracking with emotion before she pressed on “Just a minute?”
“Quinn, I’m worried about you.” Brittany whispered, though she immediately tightened her grip on Quinn’s shoulders “You won’t talk to us, you won’t come to school, you’re drinking too much…I’m just really worried about you.”
“What do you want from me Britt?” Quinn asked desperately as she moved her hands to Brittany’s atop her shoulders “Why are you here?”
“I’m here because I love you.” Brittany answered earnestly “And I want to know what’s wrong with you.”
“That is what’s wrong with me!” Quinn exclaimed, though she didn’t move her hands away from Brittany’s.
“What?”
“Can’t you see?” Quinn asked in frustration “I love you more than you love me.”
“Why would you think that?” Brittany frowned at the statement “Quinn, you’re my best friend. Of course I love…”
In one drunken movement Quinn removed Brittany’s hands from her shoulders and surged forward to kiss her, effectively interrupting what she was saying. Although she was somewhat stunned by the movement Brittany instinctively returned the kiss, her eyes fluttering shut.
Quinn’s hands moved to thread through Brittany’s hair and she pressed closer, desperately deepening the kiss as if she knew it was the last time she would have the chance.
“Mmm…Quinn…” Brittany placed her hands on Quinn’s shoulders and gently pushed her away “What….? Are you saying…?”
“I’m sorry Britt!” Quinn exclaimed in horror as tears formed in her eyes “I didn’t mean to…Fuck. I told Santana… I said I wouldn’t. I’m so sorry…”
“Hey…” Brittany carefully tugged Quinn into her arms and held the distraught girl close to her, though her expression remained stunned.
“I’m sorry.” Quinn sobbed softly into Brittany’s chest.
“It’s okay.” Brittany murmured thoughtfully. She placed a soft kiss atop Quinn’s head and proceeded to soothingly shush her, her fingers running lightly through short blonde hair “It’s okay…”
XxQRBSQRBSxX
“Santana?”
Santana and Rachel looked up from the TV to see a shaky Brittany standing in the doorway and they instantly shot to their feet. Santana got to Brittany’s side first and she pulled the clearly troubled girl into a tight embrace.
“Brittany, are you okay?” Rachel asked in concern “You don’t look so great.”
“Yeah…Yeah, I’m fine.” Brittany answered, shooting Rachel a weak smile over Santana’s shoulder “Santana…Can I talk to you for a minute? Alone?”
“Um…sure.” Santana answered nervously as she pulled back from the embrace.
“Do you mind Rach?” Brittany asked, her gaze shifting between Rachel and Santana “I know this is your house and I shouldn’t ask bu…”
“Don’t worry about it.” Rachel waved Brittany’s concerns off “I understand that you both have things you need to discuss. I’ll just leave you to it.” She was about to walk off when Brittany gripped her wrist, keeping her in place.
“It’s fine. We’ll go into the kitchen…We won’t be long.” Brittany said before she leaned down and pressed a quick kiss to Rachel’s cheek.
Rachel nodded though she was slightly distracted by the unusually serious tone of Brittany’s voice. Usually the blonde’s tone was light and airy, the only exception being when Rachel or Santana (or Quinn) were in a state of distress.
Brittany walked out of the room with Santana hot on her heels and walked into the kitchen where she turned around and waited for her girlfriend to catch up to her.
As soon as Santana walked into the room she began to apologise “Britt, I’m sorry I yelled at you earlier. I didn’t mean to upset you or…”
“I think Quinn is in love with me.” Brittany interrupted rather bluntly “No…I know she is.”
“Oh…” Santana’s expression was far from shocked but it was clear that the statement stung “How-How do you feel about that?” she was aware that the question sounded a bit dumb and rather shrink-esque but she couldn’t bring herself to outright ask Brittany the question that was playing on her mind.
Are you going to leave me?
“You knew?” Brittany frowned “And you didn’t tell me?”
“I didn’t…” Santana licked her lips nervously before replying “I was scared.”
Brittany moved closer to her girlfriend “What are you scared of?”
“I…Look, I love you Brittany.” Santana said openly “If you ever left me…”
“I’m never going to leave you.” Brittany disagreed softly as Santana trailed off. She lifted a hand and placed it on Santana’s cheek encouraging their eyes to meet “I’ve known since I first met you when we were five years old that I’m never going to leave you San. I love you.”
Santana smiled, her eyes glowing with moisture “Really?”
“Really.” Brittany confirmed the statement with a soft kiss.
“Have you been drinking?” Santana asked when she pulled away, tasting something fruity and alcoholic on Brittany’s tongue.
“No, Quinn was drinking w…” Brittany began to reply but stopped midsentence when she realised what she was saying. From the horrified look in Santana’s eyes it was clear that she had understood the implication too.
“You kissed her?” Santana asked as she backed away from the dancer, her stomach swirling uncomfortably “A-are you seriously telling me this after what you just said?”
“Santana stop.” Brittany moved forward and wrapped her arms around Santana’s waist to pull her close and keep her from retreating both physically and emotionally “She kissed me. And I only kissed her back for a second or two…”
“So you are in love with her too.” Santana finally stopped fighting, her shoulders slumping in defeat.
“I am.” Brittany answered softly “But so are you.”
“What?!” Santana exclaimed in stunned disbelief “No I’m not.”
“Yes, you are.” Brittany corrected gently “Santana, I know. I’ve known for a long time and…it’s okay because I know you would never leave me.”
Santana was silent for a moment, feeling guilty for doubting Brittany’s loyalty towards her. Finally she spoke up quietly “But she loves you back Britt. She doesn’t love me.”
“You honestly think that?” Brittany smiled softly at Santana’s obliviousness “Of course she loves you. I know she does.”
“She doesn’t.”
“She does. Trust me.”
“Even if she did love me… and I’m not saying that she does.” Santana said warily “What am I supposed to do now that I know?”
Brittany’s expression turned gravely serious again “We have to help her.”
TBC