Comments | bambi_425: i hate myself

bambi_425

i hate myself

Apr 07, 2005 13:12

i am soooo stupid. i can't stop crying and it's my fault this time. not all of it...the reason i'm crying isn't entirely my fault. anyway. so i'm at his house...he gets in the shower and me, being the ignorant snoop that i am, look thru the text msgs on his phone. i find one that definitely clarifies that he has had sex with this girl. so of ( Read more... )

Comments 3

curiousity gets to the best of us... woodoelfopansy April 7 2005, 20:34:11 UTC

You shouldn't blame yourself for feeling curious or for even looking. Curiousity is a human trait. We all have it. Just some people know when not to look. I'm not talking about myself when I say that. Believe me I can't not look if I think that something is about me or about another girl when it comes to Adam. He had written a journal and I read the entire thing. Just ask Amanda. It is hard to not look. I just thought I would let you know that you aren't alone on that factor. Now on the sleeping with another chick thing... I would have done the exact same thing. Blurted something out without thinking. I would have probably blamed him for other things too though. I guess that jeliousy is another one of those lovely human traits, you know? Just give it time and he will forgive you for looking into his stuff and if not oh well. If he had something to hide he shouldn't have left his phone right there in front of you. That is how I see it anyway. Well, I don't really know if any of that helped at all but, I tried. That is ( ... )

Re: curiousity gets to the best of us... bambi_425 April 7 2005, 21:05:01 UTC

it did help a bit...i just really needed to get that off my chest...i was really stressed out about it...and i can tell he's mad because i left him voicemails while he was in class because i knew he wouldn't answer the phone that way i could get what i wanted to say out...then he calls me after class...and he hadn't even listened to them yet because he wanted me to just tell him what i was thinking...and then i couldn't because i was so irked...i dunno. but i won't die. i just kind of felt like it there for awhile...because you're right...if he can't forgive me then oh well. it'll be his loss...because at least i loved him enough to care what was going on.

I wish I knew what to tell you sis lonelyfire April 7 2005, 21:18:44 UTC

I know how the jealousy thing feels. And, yes I do know how much you love him. I think what you need to do is sit down by yourself with a piece of paper and a pen and write down all the questions you have for him. When you are done, read them. If you have just one shred of thinking any of them will upset he to the point of not talking to you for a while, take them off the list. That way you will have some questions ready when you two talk, and you will be a little prepared for the conversation. But whatever you do, you have to talk to him about this. And you have to try to keep yourself from getting too upset and flustered. About the dying thing, I've been there too. It feels like you stuck in a nightmare. Just know that I am always here for you. I love you honey, and I hope I have helped a little. Manda