Burning Pile
Title: Burning Pile
Pairing: Sooyoung-centric
Rating: PG
Genre: Drama
To some, death is an announcement of grief; an avenue of melancholy brought by the demise of something held close to the heart. Death is blunt pain and consummate numbness. It is antagonistic, heavy, and consuming. It is a period of momentary panic from the thought that someone would cease to exist in the physical world. Death is never about "I" nor about "you" because death is always thought of in third person. For nobody would want to think about themselves so close to it unless they know they've hit it with their foreheads.
Death forces some to a pause. It is, at times, painful and, most often, depressing. But death is not the worst.
It is dying - the overwhelming passive force sucking you in an endless hole and you stretch your fingers trying to hold on to something but all you could grasp for is thin air. Dying - to feel nothingness slowly gnawing you along with its kin frustration biting your head off. It is heart-wrenching; knowing your heart is beating near its full stop yet it goes on breaking. Dying is wanting something with all of your heart even when the universe tells you it won't happen.
Dying is stagnation - where direction is a figment of your imagination and the only place you're sure of is the place where you stand. It is watching the world revolve around you in a blur while you remain stationary. Dying is the last test of courage - where your knowledge tears you down instead of building you up - because to be in that state, you are fully aware that you are in it. Death is kinder for it comes quickly; but dying is malicious and sadistic. It turns your only friend - time - into your perpetual enemy.
She is dying, Choi Sooyoung concedes, but she isn't dead. And somehow, the thought of it comforts her contrary to what most people think it should be. Dying is endless voice lessons and bottles of ginger tea; perpetual dance practices and blisters on the soles of her feet; daily drama classes until midnight and notes of failed auditions; loving a person who is unaware of her feelings.
She is dying but she's not dead. Death is a crooner without a voice; a dancer without balance; an artist without a soul; a human being without a purpose. Dying might be more painful than death but it is better.
Because the dying can still choose to live.
And so the burning sun continues stretching shadows longer than the objects it simulates as it dips down the horizon and Choi Sooyoung goes on her dying days fighting to live.
At around two in the morning, her phone rings. Her manager tells her of a drama offer and a longer list of plausible future activities. She composedly says her thanks, puts down the phone, and offers a silent prayer.
She will live. --- A/N: Live well, everyone. Live well and live long. :)
Pairing: Sooyoung-centric
Rating: PG
Genre: Drama
To some, death is an announcement of grief; an avenue of melancholy brought by the demise of something held close to the heart. Death is blunt pain and consummate numbness. It is antagonistic, heavy, and consuming. It is a period of momentary panic from the thought that someone would cease to exist in the physical world. Death is never about "I" nor about "you" because death is always thought of in third person. For nobody would want to think about themselves so close to it unless they know they've hit it with their foreheads.
Death forces some to a pause. It is, at times, painful and, most often, depressing. But death is not the worst.
It is dying - the overwhelming passive force sucking you in an endless hole and you stretch your fingers trying to hold on to something but all you could grasp for is thin air. Dying - to feel nothingness slowly gnawing you along with its kin frustration biting your head off. It is heart-wrenching; knowing your heart is beating near its full stop yet it goes on breaking. Dying is wanting something with all of your heart even when the universe tells you it won't happen.
Dying is stagnation - where direction is a figment of your imagination and the only place you're sure of is the place where you stand. It is watching the world revolve around you in a blur while you remain stationary. Dying is the last test of courage - where your knowledge tears you down instead of building you up - because to be in that state, you are fully aware that you are in it. Death is kinder for it comes quickly; but dying is malicious and sadistic. It turns your only friend - time - into your perpetual enemy.
She is dying, Choi Sooyoung concedes, but she isn't dead. And somehow, the thought of it comforts her contrary to what most people think it should be. Dying is endless voice lessons and bottles of ginger tea; perpetual dance practices and blisters on the soles of her feet; daily drama classes until midnight and notes of failed auditions; loving a person who is unaware of her feelings.
She is dying but she's not dead. Death is a crooner without a voice; a dancer without balance; an artist without a soul; a human being without a purpose. Dying might be more painful than death but it is better.
Because the dying can still choose to live.
And so the burning sun continues stretching shadows longer than the objects it simulates as it dips down the horizon and Choi Sooyoung goes on her dying days fighting to live.
At around two in the morning, her phone rings. Her manager tells her of a drama offer and a longer list of plausible future activities. She composedly says her thanks, puts down the phone, and offers a silent prayer.
She will live. --- A/N: Live well, everyone. Live well and live long. :)