LJ Idol 3 Strikes: Week 5 - Kuchisabishii

[banana_galaxy]

It’s just after 5pm when Dae walks into his second-floor apartment. He removes his messenger bag and drops it down on the kitchen table, along with the mail he had just collected, then picks a mandarin out of the fruit bowl and starts peeling it

Comments

[i_17bingo]

I really liked the secret-identity stuff in the top half. That kind of thing always has so much potential, especially when the characters are ensconced in each other's lives too. Also having potential is two people in the room texting each other when they don't know they're texting each other. I had something like that happen in one of my books, and it's a lot of fun (not trying to tell you how to write your story, just sharing a set piece that's a blast to write).

[banana_galaxy]

Oh yeah, I've had that planned from the beginning, but I wasn't sure how I was going to reveal it until I wrote this entry. I am looking forward to exploring more of that contrast between their different identities though.

[viagra]

First of all, Curry Mee Home is like the best name for a takeout curry restaurant. That was great!

Secondly, wow! The plot thickens! Moon is actually Alice's teacher? I loved that you got them together without their costumes to have that scene, the whole time Moon waiting for Tara's text, not knowing that she's right in front of him working and that's why she hasn't responded.

You nailed it with Moon's character development here, too, and I'm happy to see it. He seems like such a good guy and I know that feeling all too well of, "It's been two hours since I got a text back; what horrible thing did I do?" Great job; I'm already looking forward to the next chapter. :)

[banana_galaxy]

I was pretty proud of that name when I used it a couple of entries ago :D

Yep! I like when stories kind of intertwine like that so it just made sense to me to make them people who already knew each other in a different capacity, and that's all the more reason to keep their masks on as part of the romantic affair. It'll be interesting to see what happens if/when they do share their true identities with each other. I imagine much awkwardness will abound given the nature of how they know each other.

Thank you! It was cool to overlap this in a way with my previous two entries, in terms of the timeline, so you can see how things were going from his perspective. And how they were both fretting over the same text in different ways. I'm glad I finally got a prompt that allowed me to share some of Moon's perspective.

[engarian]

I'll have to re-read the first one in this sequence, but I liked the flow of this one and you fit the prompt really well with it too.

- Erulisse (one L)

[banana_galaxy]

Yeah, it's a lot to keep track of when I'm writing a continuation week after week. This is the first piece if you want a quick reference link.

I feel like I've been really lucky that Gary seems to just keep giving us prompts that naturally work with the story I already wanted to write.

[engarian]

I remember this one, I quite enjoyed it. I'm pleased that you've been able to add another chapter to this tale.

- Erulisse (one L)

[roina_arwen]

This is really fun, and you totally earned this icon, lol!

[banana_galaxy]

haha, yes that icon is perfect here.

[beautyofgrey]

I really love that you got a chance to write from Moon's perspective, and I love the secret identity play in the first part, where they're not even aware of their direct interaction. I also really like Angelica's character here - not sure if she will make any sort of reappearance, but she seems like a cool support for Moon (and of course I have to wonder if she has any powers). And finally, the amulet and its power is an intriguing fact - I'd previously considered their powers to be more innate, so I'm curious about that.

[banana_galaxy]

I'm glad I got the chance too.

Before writing this, I hadn't thought too much about Moon's living situation, but I think given that Angelica knows his true identity and has a hand in helping him find people to help, she'll likely have a bigger role to play when I write from Moon's perspective. At this point I'm not anticipating her having powers of her own, but you never know! I haven't thought that far ahead yet.

For the amulet, I took inspiration from how Marvel's White Tiger gets their power (the amulet is passed on to different people but also only impacts people of a particular bloodline). I have an idea for how Moon acquired it, but we'll see if it actually comes up in a future prompt.