I'm not bored, it's just that this is enticing.
1 You are my best friend. Period. If we could merge souls and talents and beauty...I think we would be perfect. I've always wanted to be more like you...to be the strong woman and artist and thinker and free spirit that you are. I'm jealous of your worldliness. I wish I could see you every day; when are we moving to New York?
2 Your music inspires me, it really does. And it's not so much even the music as it is just you making it. I wish we could have been closer. But I feel this impulse, this strong attraction to you...I think we would have been best friends if I had stayed. Sometimes I truly believe that you are the coolest person I know.
3 I love you, but I know that if I had stayed, we'd be killing each other by now. My moving has kept us close (ish), I think. Out of all the people I still know, I have known you the longest...we could reminisce for days. Your commitment astounds me. Thank you for reading all my letters and entries and always writing me.
4 We have had SO many good times together. I can't even count them...we were adolescents together, we were fish, we've been to concerts and parties and...we're almost grown up. It scares me. Thank you for ALWAYS being there to commiserate in pain or glee. There is no way you are going to win this contest, by the way.
5 I miss the music we used to make. I miss your dedication, I miss your spunk and your voice and your abundant love. You were my best friend. You are so gorgeous...and you will go far. When I listen to you coming out of my speakers, I cry. Alright.
6 I wish that I could be as dedicated to my art as you are. I feel bad, because I have always gotten things with less effort than you have. You do ten times the amount I do and still...you're giving it up. I respect you so much as a human being; you are by far the most beautiful person I know. I can hear your laugh! Remember when I wanted to get a PhD in Shakespeare? Hah.
7 You have easily gone through more than any friend I have ever had...you've had to deal with so much ... SHIT and I don't think that I was ever very good at coping with that. I don't know if I ever helped you. You are so unique, so sure of who you are, or who you want to be, that it astounds me. You have such a beautiful soul. I hope that it doesn't get covered in destruction.
8 You are always there for me. Always. We talk almost constantly, and yet, it's never quite enough. This summer has really caused this friendship to blossom and I am more than grateful for it/you! You keep me in shape, physically and emotionally and spiritually. I only hope that YOU will be ok...that you will always tell me if something is wrong...I love you!
9 You know that I love you, right? I just can't...love you. You are one of the greatest musicians and people I know. It hurts me so much that I hurt you. So much. I wish I could make everything right, but I don't know how.
10 Firsts. Lots of firsts. No regrets, really, but you hurt me more than I have ever been hurt in my life. I forgive you...for everything. I wish with all my heart we could be friends. I wish you wouldn't avoid me. I'm sad that you have changed so much since I knew you.
11 I'm so angry with you! So mad! I don't even think I have a right to be. And I can't ever tell you, because...well, I think I deserved it for what I did to you. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I was so haughty and sure that it would be ok, and I know that it never was.
12 I'm still not sure what happened. Not really. You were such a wonderful companion and buddy and more...you helped me feel a bond stronger than I have ever experienced and a love that I can't quite describe. I know that I still love you and I always will. I'm sorry; I just can't get over that. I wish you would let me help you, I want you to just admit that I hurt you and move on with it. It kills me inside that I can't talk to you.
13 You said once that you used to think I was so cool, and I have never been quite sure why. I have always thought YOU were the cool one, that YOU were the hot stuff original who's NOT afraid to speak her mind and wear whatever the hell she wants! You are such a true blue...I can't wait to get even closer.
14 I can tell you anything. Anything. I love sharing secrets and solving problems and just...talking to you. I am so amazed at your capacity to befriend and to interact. Everyone loves you! Sometimes I wish I could just jump in and figure out how you do it. I want in on the duo.
15 You will never read this, but you taught me more about life and reality and myself than any english you could have taught me. You helped me out of my awkward stage; you taught me how to learn and how to be a basically good person. Now, after 4 years, I still use what you taught me. I wish I could come and visit you all the time. I can't wait to see your new baby.
16 I could have never done what you did, just dropping everything and ... going. Doing. I came with you, yes, but I'm not sure that at that particular juncture of my life I would have chosen to follow. But you have taught me so much...that change is good; that God is real; that life is out there waiting. I love you so much. I hope that I turn into you when I grow up.
17 Y'know, everyone else hates you, but I love you to death. I'm not sure you realize how similar we are. I respect you and your program and everything you have taught me. You care so much for not just your job, but your students and their lives and well-being and enriching their lives with music. It has been such a joy. Seriously. I will be sad to leave you when I graduate.
18 We're so on again, off again. I wish that I could be planted in your heart, right next to that crazy girl you love so much in Washington, but I think that I am just...another friend. I want to know you, know you. I don't even know if you really know me. You are the freshest breath of real air I have met here, as of yet, and you're going away to college.
19 You followed him, too. You're so strong...for yourself and all of us. I don't know how you do it. I can't be calm like you when everything is falling apart; I couldn't stay here ... all the freaking time. You are truly a goddess. Thank you so much for everything. I love you.
20 You're a mystery to me. Complete 'enigma', as you once called me. I really dislike you a lot, honestly, and I'm pretty sure you hate me. But you taught me a lot about strength and men and comedy. You pushed me to my very edge, but it ultimately made me a better and tougher person and actress.
That was so difficult. I almost cried at one point.