Paper Wings, Ch. 16
"Hey, babe." Joe smiled up at Kevin, and they shared a quick kiss as he slipped out of his jacket. "Where've you been?"
Kevin shrugged, plopping down on the couch beside him, his own expression muted. "Garbo asked if I could come hear this song he's been working on, so I ran over there."
Joe checked his watch, frowning. "You've been gone for, like, five hours. Why didn't you call or anything?"
"Why didn't you?" Kevin countered, his voice soft. "If you don't even notice I'm gone, why do I need to check in with you?"
That certainly wasn't the apology for being inconsiderate that Joe had been expecting. He touched his hand to his brother's cheek, searching his eyes. "Are you okay, Kev?"
His mouth curled into a smile, and he leaned in for the softest of kisses, like that would fix everything. "I'm alright, babe." His voice was gentle. "Did you and Nick have a good time together today? Where is he?"
Joe rolled his eyes, snuggling in close against his side, tucking the blanket under which he was curled around them both. "He fell asleep while we were watching a movie because he's lame. I got hungry, so I just let him sleep. He'll probably be awake and pissed I'm not there in, like, fifteen minutes."
Kevin chuckled, shaking his head. "Well, go get back in bed with him and avoid a pissed off Nick. That will serve us all well."
Joe pressed a kiss to his cheek, wrapping his arms around his waist. "I want to spend a little time with you, babe. I love Nick to death, but he's been so needy the past few days. He gets all upset if we don't pay attention to him, so I feel like I haven't actually talked to you in forever."
"He gets all upset if you don't pay attention to him." Kevin corrected. His smile twisted somewhere between teasing and wounded. "I'm luckily left out of that. I can sneak away and he doesn't even notice I'm gone."
"Stop that." Joe gave him a pointed look, but not one that necessarily contradicted his words. "We're all for one, one for all. You know that."
"I did." Kevin's voice was soft, more honest than it had been in a long time. He had been trying so hard to make sure that his brother's time at home was enjoyable, that he shipped out remembering them for their kisses and laughter, not their yelling matches. But, closing down and shutting up was hard sometimes. And, Joe always knew how to fix things. "Now I'm not so sure. I know Nick loves me. I do. But... he wants you, you know? And, I'm trying to be patient, because I know it's really just because he misses you, and he's scared you're not going to come back, but... it still hurts, you know?"
Joe was quiet, running his fingers absently over his brother's, letting the motion comfort him as he thought about that. It made him miserable that he done this to them. But, he couldn't change it now. He couldn't go to his sergeant and say, "Hey, my brothers are unhappy. I don't want to be in the Army anymore." He finally sighed softly, shaking his head and lacing his fingers with Kevin's. He leaned in close, pushed a kiss against his mouth, and for a long time, they didn't bother speaking, which was just fine, because neither knew what to say.
They were still sitting there, tangled up in the blanket and each other, not moving, not making a sound, just holding each other, when Nick wandered down the stairs, rubbing sleepily at his eyes. He tried not to bristly at the sight. Instead, he moved over and joined them on the couch, smiling when Joe wrapped his arm around him, dropping a kiss on his hair. "Hey, babe. Enjoy your nap?"
"Shut up." Nick stuck his tongue out at him. "I missed the end of the movie. Did Edward go back up to the house on the mountain or what?"
Joe shook his head, miming zipping his lips closed. "I'm not telling you. It's your fault you fell asleep."
"Aw, come on." Nick pouted at him. "If you don't tell me, I'll have to watch the whole thing all over again. That'd be boring."
"It'd be fun if you watched it with me." Joe teased lightly. "I make everything fun." He emphasized the words with an affectionate kiss.
"Good point." Nick smiled up at him, leaning in to kiss him again. "We'll have to watch it again then."
Kevin shifted, pushed himself off the couch. He paused beside it, waiting to see if either of them would notice he was leaving. He couldn't bring himself to be surprised when they didn't, even after he walked out the front door to his car. He never thought he'd be the one to become bitter.
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"Dad?"
Kevin, Sr. looked up from his paperwork, smiling gently at his son. "Hey, Joseph. Where are your brothers?"
Joe shrugged, sitting down in the chair across from him. "They're around." Nick was, at least. He hadn't seen Kevin since their brief conversation earlier that afternoon. He wanted to kick himself for letting him disappear again; this time, he wasn't answering his phone at all. "I wanted to you about something."
"You know you can talk to me about anything, Joseph."
"Good." Joe expelled a long breath, rubbing his palms against his jeans. "I'm... starting to think this was a bad idea. I mean, I know I can't do anything to change it, but..." He shook his head. "I wanted them to realize they don't need me. I've only made it worse. They're falling apart, Dad. I don't know how to make it better. Tell me how to fix it."
Kevin took of his glasses, rubbed at the bridge of his nose, peered sadly into his son's face. "Joseph, they shouldn't be so dependent on you. You're their brother, not their knight-in-shining-armor. Whatever issues they're having, I'm sure they're grown-up enough to work them out on their own."
"Have you even spoken to either of them lately?" Joe asked suddenly, incredulous at what he was hearing. "Dad, we're brothers. We've been together through everything. We've never had to solve a problem without each other there to help and support us." He shook his head. "My goal wasn't to tear us apart, Dad. I wanted them to be able to hold each other and miss me and realize that when I'm not there, they'll still be okay. And, all that's happening is that it's killing them." His voice trembled, shoulders shook. "I need them more than ever, and they're starting to hate each other. What do I do?"
His father stood up, came around the desk and knelt to gather Joe close in his arms. Joe just cried against his shoulder, too perfectly aware of the fact that the man he expected to have all the answers didn't have any.
Kevin shrugged, plopping down on the couch beside him, his own expression muted. "Garbo asked if I could come hear this song he's been working on, so I ran over there."
Joe checked his watch, frowning. "You've been gone for, like, five hours. Why didn't you call or anything?"
"Why didn't you?" Kevin countered, his voice soft. "If you don't even notice I'm gone, why do I need to check in with you?"
That certainly wasn't the apology for being inconsiderate that Joe had been expecting. He touched his hand to his brother's cheek, searching his eyes. "Are you okay, Kev?"
His mouth curled into a smile, and he leaned in for the softest of kisses, like that would fix everything. "I'm alright, babe." His voice was gentle. "Did you and Nick have a good time together today? Where is he?"
Joe rolled his eyes, snuggling in close against his side, tucking the blanket under which he was curled around them both. "He fell asleep while we were watching a movie because he's lame. I got hungry, so I just let him sleep. He'll probably be awake and pissed I'm not there in, like, fifteen minutes."
Kevin chuckled, shaking his head. "Well, go get back in bed with him and avoid a pissed off Nick. That will serve us all well."
Joe pressed a kiss to his cheek, wrapping his arms around his waist. "I want to spend a little time with you, babe. I love Nick to death, but he's been so needy the past few days. He gets all upset if we don't pay attention to him, so I feel like I haven't actually talked to you in forever."
"He gets all upset if you don't pay attention to him." Kevin corrected. His smile twisted somewhere between teasing and wounded. "I'm luckily left out of that. I can sneak away and he doesn't even notice I'm gone."
"Stop that." Joe gave him a pointed look, but not one that necessarily contradicted his words. "We're all for one, one for all. You know that."
"I did." Kevin's voice was soft, more honest than it had been in a long time. He had been trying so hard to make sure that his brother's time at home was enjoyable, that he shipped out remembering them for their kisses and laughter, not their yelling matches. But, closing down and shutting up was hard sometimes. And, Joe always knew how to fix things. "Now I'm not so sure. I know Nick loves me. I do. But... he wants you, you know? And, I'm trying to be patient, because I know it's really just because he misses you, and he's scared you're not going to come back, but... it still hurts, you know?"
Joe was quiet, running his fingers absently over his brother's, letting the motion comfort him as he thought about that. It made him miserable that he done this to them. But, he couldn't change it now. He couldn't go to his sergeant and say, "Hey, my brothers are unhappy. I don't want to be in the Army anymore." He finally sighed softly, shaking his head and lacing his fingers with Kevin's. He leaned in close, pushed a kiss against his mouth, and for a long time, they didn't bother speaking, which was just fine, because neither knew what to say.
They were still sitting there, tangled up in the blanket and each other, not moving, not making a sound, just holding each other, when Nick wandered down the stairs, rubbing sleepily at his eyes. He tried not to bristly at the sight. Instead, he moved over and joined them on the couch, smiling when Joe wrapped his arm around him, dropping a kiss on his hair. "Hey, babe. Enjoy your nap?"
"Shut up." Nick stuck his tongue out at him. "I missed the end of the movie. Did Edward go back up to the house on the mountain or what?"
Joe shook his head, miming zipping his lips closed. "I'm not telling you. It's your fault you fell asleep."
"Aw, come on." Nick pouted at him. "If you don't tell me, I'll have to watch the whole thing all over again. That'd be boring."
"It'd be fun if you watched it with me." Joe teased lightly. "I make everything fun." He emphasized the words with an affectionate kiss.
"Good point." Nick smiled up at him, leaning in to kiss him again. "We'll have to watch it again then."
Kevin shifted, pushed himself off the couch. He paused beside it, waiting to see if either of them would notice he was leaving. He couldn't bring himself to be surprised when they didn't, even after he walked out the front door to his car. He never thought he'd be the one to become bitter.
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"Dad?"
Kevin, Sr. looked up from his paperwork, smiling gently at his son. "Hey, Joseph. Where are your brothers?"
Joe shrugged, sitting down in the chair across from him. "They're around." Nick was, at least. He hadn't seen Kevin since their brief conversation earlier that afternoon. He wanted to kick himself for letting him disappear again; this time, he wasn't answering his phone at all. "I wanted to you about something."
"You know you can talk to me about anything, Joseph."
"Good." Joe expelled a long breath, rubbing his palms against his jeans. "I'm... starting to think this was a bad idea. I mean, I know I can't do anything to change it, but..." He shook his head. "I wanted them to realize they don't need me. I've only made it worse. They're falling apart, Dad. I don't know how to make it better. Tell me how to fix it."
Kevin took of his glasses, rubbed at the bridge of his nose, peered sadly into his son's face. "Joseph, they shouldn't be so dependent on you. You're their brother, not their knight-in-shining-armor. Whatever issues they're having, I'm sure they're grown-up enough to work them out on their own."
"Have you even spoken to either of them lately?" Joe asked suddenly, incredulous at what he was hearing. "Dad, we're brothers. We've been together through everything. We've never had to solve a problem without each other there to help and support us." He shook his head. "My goal wasn't to tear us apart, Dad. I wanted them to be able to hold each other and miss me and realize that when I'm not there, they'll still be okay. And, all that's happening is that it's killing them." His voice trembled, shoulders shook. "I need them more than ever, and they're starting to hate each other. What do I do?"
His father stood up, came around the desk and knelt to gather Joe close in his arms. Joe just cried against his shoulder, too perfectly aware of the fact that the man he expected to have all the answers didn't have any.