Les Papillons
Kevin’s really not sure what annoys him more: the fact that Joe didn’t like his idea or the fact that he didn’t at least pretend that he did. And if he hates what Kevin chooses so much, why doesn’t he decide what they’re going to do on their dates?
He huffs, tugging his scarf up further around his neck before shoving his hands in his coat pockets again, wandering down the sidewalk between the animal houses. He’s not sure why he chose the zoo in the first place, but it seemed so romantic, and the grounds are beautiful, with the snow piled on either side of the sidewalks, with the Christmas trees sparkling. His shoulders sag.
He’s here alone because Joe decided that it was too cold to do this and told him the idea was stupid. It hurts more than it should, to know he thinks that, but his pride told him to say that he didn’t care what Joe thought; he was going to the zoo with or without him.
So here he is, without him and having a miserable time. He realizes it was a stupid thing to do. He should have just asked what Joe’s suggestion was for an alternative date today and gone with him to do whatever it was because he knows it would be more fun than spending the day looking at a bunch of animals by himself.
He sighs, leaning up against the railing, looking into the bear enclosure. According to the informative plaque beside him, this particular bear is called a “sloth bear.” He knows very well that if Joe was here, he would sincerely enjoy this animal. She is not a big bear, and her fur is black, with tufts here and there that remind him of a cat that has recently been in a fight with another cat. Her ears are big and floppy, and she’s running around the enclosure almost as if she’s giving him a show.
He smiles when she stands up on her hind legs and makes that strange, hard-to-define sound that bears do, that always sounds a bit like a groan. “You seem to be having a good time today.” He murmurs, leaning on his hand on the railing. “I’m glad one of us is.” Her response is to bound off toward the back of the enclosure and huddle into a little hole out of the wind. Kevin stands up straight, glaring at her. “Thanks for the company.” He calls out toward her, then turns to notice a couple staring at him as they wander by. He smiles sheepishly before turning to lean against the railing again, gazing absently over at the bear who has decided that it’s time for an afternoon nap.
“She’s not very active, is she?” He looks over at Joe, who has come up to stand beside him, then purses his lips and looks deliberately away. Joe sighs and butts his way under Kevin’s arm so that he’s holding him, nuzzling his neck. He rustles into a plastic bag he has slung over his arm and produces a stuffed leopard, the mouth of which he presses to Kevin’s cheek as if making it kiss him. “I’m sorry.” He offers quietly. “I was being a brat this morning. I should’ve just come with you.”
Kevin shrugs dismissively, his arm tightening around Joe’s shoulders almost instinctively. “You didn’t want to. You wouldn’t have been any fun if you had come with me.”
“But I’d have been more fun than you’re having now, considering you’re having a conversation with a bear.” Joe points out. “Come on. I’m sure there’s a bunch of things you haven’t seen yet. And I haven’t seen anything, so let’s go.” He tugs at Kevin’s hand, pulling him along.
Kevin relents and allows himself to be taken across the sidewalk over toward the South America house, which he’s seen already, but he knows that Joe would really like the fishing cat they have in there, which is only a little bigger than a housecat and is very playful, so he doesn’t protest. The building is warm and smells distinctly of animals, but Joe’s running up to the glass and saying, “Oh, Kevin, look! It’s so cute! I want to take it home!” and Kevin really can’t help but smile because Joe’s happiness is often contagious in this way, when even small things can be a reason to smile. “Oh, and look at this snake!” He runs over toward another case. “It’s so big! Oh, god. It’s crawling up the glass. What if the glass broke? It’d be like a Harry Potter moment! That’d be crazy. I don’t like it.” He grabs Kevin’s hand and tugs him off to see the alligators.
As far as Kevin is concerned, the day is more than salvaged, and Joe is sweet and clingy the rest of the date, staying tucked under his arm or holding his hand throughout their run around the park. He pauses in front of the giant Christmas tree in the center of the zoo to wrap his arms around Kevin’s neck and press their mouths together. “This has been a wonderful day.” He comments quietly. “And I am so happy that I came. I’m sorry I was such a little bitch about it this morning…”
Kevin shakes his head. “Don’t be sorry. You were just being honest with me.” He hesitates for a moment, then slides out of his arms, taking his hand to lace their fingers together. “There’s something here that I want you to see.” He turns to lead him off. “It’s kind of the reason I wanted to come to the zoo in the first place.”
“Really? What is it?” Joe’s at his side, holding onto his arm excitedly. “Is it something particularly adorable because, you know, I just don’t know if I’m going to be able to resist stealing something if you keep this up.”
Kevin laughs, shaking his head. “You’ll just have to wait and see.” Joe gives a little snort of displeasure but doesn’t try to get anything more out of him. When they’re approaching the building, Kevin stops again. “Okay. Close your eyes. I’ll lead you inside, okay?” Joe gives him a skeptical look before covering his eyes with his hand so he won’t peek, and Kevin slides his arm around his shoulder and walks him forward. Once they’re inside and the doors are closed behind them. He smiles and kisses his cheek. “Alright. Open.”
Joe looks up, feels his breath leave him. His hands fall limply to his sides. “Butterflies?” He questions softly. “But… it’s winter. How are there so many of them?”
Kevin smiles, dips his head to blow gently on a monarch that has landed on Joe’s shoulder. “This building is kept at a sustained warmth so they breed and cocoon and everything year-round. I didn’t know if you’d ever seen it before…” He points up toward a treetop, where white butterflies, spotted with black, are fluttering. “Those are my favorites. They’re called checkered butterflies…”
Joe nods dumbly, his lips parted in surprise as he stares up at them. “They’re beautiful.” He whispers. “I didn’t even know this was here. I guess it’s been a long time since I’ve come to the zoo…” He blinks and returns his gaze to Kevin when he sees him shifting, his jaw falling open when he sees that his lover is sliding down to one knee. “Kevin, what are you…?”
“Sh.” Kevin fumbles in his pocket for a moment, produces the small box. He holds it up and open. “I know that today wasn’t as perfect as I was hoping it would be, but I know not every day is going to go exactly as we planned, and I just know that no matter what, I’ll be happy if you’re there with me, on the good days and the bad days.” He licks his lips. “Will you marry me?”
Joe stares at him. Kevin feels nauseous. Isn’t he supposed to immediately say yes and throw his arms around him? A butterfly comes down to perch on the edge of the still box, and Joe waves it away, pouting. “Shoo. That’s not your ring; it’s mine.”
And then Kevin is back on his feet and they’re kissing desperately, Joe’s arms locked tight around his neck, and Kevin can’t believe he’s not crying. He manages to push the white gold band onto Joe’s ring finger, and then Joe’s pulling him in again for another bruising kiss.
They’re there for a long time, just holding each other and kissing, until the door bangs and another group of zoo-goers enter the building. Kevin grabs his hand and, on the way out, Joe giggles and flashes his ring at them and squeals, “I’m engaged!”
After making sure he was sufficiently congratulated by everyone, they stumble out into the cold air, kiss-drunk, and Joe presses up against Kevin’s side again, pushing their mouths together desperately. “I love you, I love you, I love you.”
Kevin chuckles. “See? I told you the zoo was a good idea.”
He huffs, tugging his scarf up further around his neck before shoving his hands in his coat pockets again, wandering down the sidewalk between the animal houses. He’s not sure why he chose the zoo in the first place, but it seemed so romantic, and the grounds are beautiful, with the snow piled on either side of the sidewalks, with the Christmas trees sparkling. His shoulders sag.
He’s here alone because Joe decided that it was too cold to do this and told him the idea was stupid. It hurts more than it should, to know he thinks that, but his pride told him to say that he didn’t care what Joe thought; he was going to the zoo with or without him.
So here he is, without him and having a miserable time. He realizes it was a stupid thing to do. He should have just asked what Joe’s suggestion was for an alternative date today and gone with him to do whatever it was because he knows it would be more fun than spending the day looking at a bunch of animals by himself.
He sighs, leaning up against the railing, looking into the bear enclosure. According to the informative plaque beside him, this particular bear is called a “sloth bear.” He knows very well that if Joe was here, he would sincerely enjoy this animal. She is not a big bear, and her fur is black, with tufts here and there that remind him of a cat that has recently been in a fight with another cat. Her ears are big and floppy, and she’s running around the enclosure almost as if she’s giving him a show.
He smiles when she stands up on her hind legs and makes that strange, hard-to-define sound that bears do, that always sounds a bit like a groan. “You seem to be having a good time today.” He murmurs, leaning on his hand on the railing. “I’m glad one of us is.” Her response is to bound off toward the back of the enclosure and huddle into a little hole out of the wind. Kevin stands up straight, glaring at her. “Thanks for the company.” He calls out toward her, then turns to notice a couple staring at him as they wander by. He smiles sheepishly before turning to lean against the railing again, gazing absently over at the bear who has decided that it’s time for an afternoon nap.
“She’s not very active, is she?” He looks over at Joe, who has come up to stand beside him, then purses his lips and looks deliberately away. Joe sighs and butts his way under Kevin’s arm so that he’s holding him, nuzzling his neck. He rustles into a plastic bag he has slung over his arm and produces a stuffed leopard, the mouth of which he presses to Kevin’s cheek as if making it kiss him. “I’m sorry.” He offers quietly. “I was being a brat this morning. I should’ve just come with you.”
Kevin shrugs dismissively, his arm tightening around Joe’s shoulders almost instinctively. “You didn’t want to. You wouldn’t have been any fun if you had come with me.”
“But I’d have been more fun than you’re having now, considering you’re having a conversation with a bear.” Joe points out. “Come on. I’m sure there’s a bunch of things you haven’t seen yet. And I haven’t seen anything, so let’s go.” He tugs at Kevin’s hand, pulling him along.
Kevin relents and allows himself to be taken across the sidewalk over toward the South America house, which he’s seen already, but he knows that Joe would really like the fishing cat they have in there, which is only a little bigger than a housecat and is very playful, so he doesn’t protest. The building is warm and smells distinctly of animals, but Joe’s running up to the glass and saying, “Oh, Kevin, look! It’s so cute! I want to take it home!” and Kevin really can’t help but smile because Joe’s happiness is often contagious in this way, when even small things can be a reason to smile. “Oh, and look at this snake!” He runs over toward another case. “It’s so big! Oh, god. It’s crawling up the glass. What if the glass broke? It’d be like a Harry Potter moment! That’d be crazy. I don’t like it.” He grabs Kevin’s hand and tugs him off to see the alligators.
As far as Kevin is concerned, the day is more than salvaged, and Joe is sweet and clingy the rest of the date, staying tucked under his arm or holding his hand throughout their run around the park. He pauses in front of the giant Christmas tree in the center of the zoo to wrap his arms around Kevin’s neck and press their mouths together. “This has been a wonderful day.” He comments quietly. “And I am so happy that I came. I’m sorry I was such a little bitch about it this morning…”
Kevin shakes his head. “Don’t be sorry. You were just being honest with me.” He hesitates for a moment, then slides out of his arms, taking his hand to lace their fingers together. “There’s something here that I want you to see.” He turns to lead him off. “It’s kind of the reason I wanted to come to the zoo in the first place.”
“Really? What is it?” Joe’s at his side, holding onto his arm excitedly. “Is it something particularly adorable because, you know, I just don’t know if I’m going to be able to resist stealing something if you keep this up.”
Kevin laughs, shaking his head. “You’ll just have to wait and see.” Joe gives a little snort of displeasure but doesn’t try to get anything more out of him. When they’re approaching the building, Kevin stops again. “Okay. Close your eyes. I’ll lead you inside, okay?” Joe gives him a skeptical look before covering his eyes with his hand so he won’t peek, and Kevin slides his arm around his shoulder and walks him forward. Once they’re inside and the doors are closed behind them. He smiles and kisses his cheek. “Alright. Open.”
Joe looks up, feels his breath leave him. His hands fall limply to his sides. “Butterflies?” He questions softly. “But… it’s winter. How are there so many of them?”
Kevin smiles, dips his head to blow gently on a monarch that has landed on Joe’s shoulder. “This building is kept at a sustained warmth so they breed and cocoon and everything year-round. I didn’t know if you’d ever seen it before…” He points up toward a treetop, where white butterflies, spotted with black, are fluttering. “Those are my favorites. They’re called checkered butterflies…”
Joe nods dumbly, his lips parted in surprise as he stares up at them. “They’re beautiful.” He whispers. “I didn’t even know this was here. I guess it’s been a long time since I’ve come to the zoo…” He blinks and returns his gaze to Kevin when he sees him shifting, his jaw falling open when he sees that his lover is sliding down to one knee. “Kevin, what are you…?”
“Sh.” Kevin fumbles in his pocket for a moment, produces the small box. He holds it up and open. “I know that today wasn’t as perfect as I was hoping it would be, but I know not every day is going to go exactly as we planned, and I just know that no matter what, I’ll be happy if you’re there with me, on the good days and the bad days.” He licks his lips. “Will you marry me?”
Joe stares at him. Kevin feels nauseous. Isn’t he supposed to immediately say yes and throw his arms around him? A butterfly comes down to perch on the edge of the still box, and Joe waves it away, pouting. “Shoo. That’s not your ring; it’s mine.”
And then Kevin is back on his feet and they’re kissing desperately, Joe’s arms locked tight around his neck, and Kevin can’t believe he’s not crying. He manages to push the white gold band onto Joe’s ring finger, and then Joe’s pulling him in again for another bruising kiss.
They’re there for a long time, just holding each other and kissing, until the door bangs and another group of zoo-goers enter the building. Kevin grabs his hand and, on the way out, Joe giggles and flashes his ring at them and squeals, “I’m engaged!”
After making sure he was sufficiently congratulated by everyone, they stumble out into the cold air, kiss-drunk, and Joe presses up against Kevin’s side again, pushing their mouths together desperately. “I love you, I love you, I love you.”
Kevin chuckles. “See? I told you the zoo was a good idea.”