Small Pond
“Hey.” I tap on the glass, frowning in at my brother. “Kevin. Come on. I know you’re mad at me, but I totally wasn’t making fun of you, for the record. I was making fun of… Okay, well, I can see how you would think I was making fun of you, but really, it’s kind of a common saying. I mean, goldfish don’t as a rule have particularly long memories. They’re known for that.” I pause. “To be honest, I wish your memory wasn’t so awesome, because then you wouldn’t be mad at me right now.” He just swivels off toward his castle, disappearing inside of it. I sigh and drop to my knees, leaning my arms on the edge of the table. “Kevin…” I sing softly. “Please come out and talk to me.” No response. “Will you talk to Joe if he comes in?” He peeks out at me, opens and closes his mouth a few times, and I nod, pushing myself to my feet and calling out for Joe.
When he comes in, Kevin immediately wiggles his way up to the surface, folding his tiny arms across his chest. “Tell Nick that he has to be more sensitive to me when I’m in my forms.” He pouts, speaking in a voice that’s much too big for his small form.
Joe scoops him out of the water. I’m not sure why Kevin lets him hold him in his hand like that but won’t let me. I mean, Joe’s way more likely to drop him or flail and send him flying or something. I would cuddle him - especially when he’s in his little merman-y form like he is now, because honestly? The goldfish tail plus the curly hair is the cutest thing the earth has ever had the fortune to experience. Joe pets his head with the tip of his index finger. “Nick didn’t mean anything bad by it, you know. He was making fun of me because I can never seem to retain information, not you because you’re a goldfish at times.” He scratches his stomach with his pinky nail, which makes Kevin flail and push his hand away.
“Stop it.” He mumbles, folding his arms over his chest. “I’m not going to get all cute and forgiving just because you’re tickling me.”
“May I?” I hold my hands out, and Joe slides Kevin over into my palms before he can protest. He gives a little squeak as he comes to rest in the fold of my hands. “Kevin. I love you - when you’re a fishy, and when you’re not a fishy. I mean, who else gets to say their adorable, sexy brother is also a fish from time to time?” I kiss the top of his head carefully, and I hear him give a little laugh, like he does each time, since my lips is just about the size of him. Joe and I joke sometimes that we could smuggle him anywhere by keeping him in one of our mouths. Joe thinks it would be funny to transport him between us by making out. The idea sort of grosses me out, to be honest. “Lovey, I’m sorry. Please forgive me. I won’t make any bad puns about fish anymore. You can make a diabetes joke if you want, to get even.”
He pinches me, but it’s more like a poke than any actual pain. “Be quiet. I’m not mad at you. Will you put me on the floor please, so I can get big?” I do as asked, and in a moment, he’s sitting there naked and full-size. I hand him his clothes, and he starts to get dressed. When he’s happily settled on my bed with his pajamas on, he folds his hands in his lap. “I want you guys to be fish with me.”
Joe crisscrosses his legs, rubs Kevin’s knee. “I know, babe. You’ve told us that before. But we’ve never been able to find the witch again. We’ve tried a thousand times - each time you’ve told us you don’t want the power anymore and each time you’ve told us you want us to have it too. But she’s… gone. She screwed you over and took off.”
“She didn’t screw me over.” Kevin glares slightly at him, wrapping his arm around my shoulders when I slide in to snuggle against his side in a way I obviously can’t when he’s small. “I like doing it; it’s like having a whole new perspective about how things are. I just wish I could do it with you guys. And I wish I didn’t have to be the size of an eraser. I want to swim in the ocean and not have to worry about being eaten by a bigger fish. It’s annoying.”
“But as it is, you’re a big fish in a small pond.” Joe jokes lamely, kissing his cheek and rearranging himself to nuzzle against Kevin’s stomach. I pet his hair lightly. “Or… a small aquarium. Hey, you know, actually, your aquarium is huge. And you have the most bad-ass set-up in the world. Like, I wish I slept on a purple anemone and had a castle to chill in - not to mention the pirate treasure. I mean, no wonder you’re living in style, with all that booty at your disposal.”
I flick his forehead, and he gives an annoyed little whine, but Kevin is smiling, so I guess Joe’s okay. I kiss his neck, and he sighs softly. “You’re my baby.” I murmur. “My favorite fishy. We could get you a little fish friend. I mean, he’d totally have an inferiority complex because you’re always going to be my favorite, but then you’d have someone to chill with when I’m not cooing about how adorable you are…”
“Nuh-uh.” Kevin scoffs. “You’d totally fall madly in love with a new fish. That’s how pets work, you know. As soon as you get a new one, the old ones aren’t as fun or adorable anymore, and they’re left all alone, starved of attention…”
“Well, it’s a good thing you’re not our pet then.” Joe nudges his way under Kevin’s shirt like a puppy, kissing his navel. “You’re our love. It’s totally different.”
“Okay, okay.” Kevin totally doesn’t want to admit that the idea makes him smile, but he’s completely smiling, so it’s hard for him to pretend. “I guess my pond is pretty big.”
When he comes in, Kevin immediately wiggles his way up to the surface, folding his tiny arms across his chest. “Tell Nick that he has to be more sensitive to me when I’m in my forms.” He pouts, speaking in a voice that’s much too big for his small form.
Joe scoops him out of the water. I’m not sure why Kevin lets him hold him in his hand like that but won’t let me. I mean, Joe’s way more likely to drop him or flail and send him flying or something. I would cuddle him - especially when he’s in his little merman-y form like he is now, because honestly? The goldfish tail plus the curly hair is the cutest thing the earth has ever had the fortune to experience. Joe pets his head with the tip of his index finger. “Nick didn’t mean anything bad by it, you know. He was making fun of me because I can never seem to retain information, not you because you’re a goldfish at times.” He scratches his stomach with his pinky nail, which makes Kevin flail and push his hand away.
“Stop it.” He mumbles, folding his arms over his chest. “I’m not going to get all cute and forgiving just because you’re tickling me.”
“May I?” I hold my hands out, and Joe slides Kevin over into my palms before he can protest. He gives a little squeak as he comes to rest in the fold of my hands. “Kevin. I love you - when you’re a fishy, and when you’re not a fishy. I mean, who else gets to say their adorable, sexy brother is also a fish from time to time?” I kiss the top of his head carefully, and I hear him give a little laugh, like he does each time, since my lips is just about the size of him. Joe and I joke sometimes that we could smuggle him anywhere by keeping him in one of our mouths. Joe thinks it would be funny to transport him between us by making out. The idea sort of grosses me out, to be honest. “Lovey, I’m sorry. Please forgive me. I won’t make any bad puns about fish anymore. You can make a diabetes joke if you want, to get even.”
He pinches me, but it’s more like a poke than any actual pain. “Be quiet. I’m not mad at you. Will you put me on the floor please, so I can get big?” I do as asked, and in a moment, he’s sitting there naked and full-size. I hand him his clothes, and he starts to get dressed. When he’s happily settled on my bed with his pajamas on, he folds his hands in his lap. “I want you guys to be fish with me.”
Joe crisscrosses his legs, rubs Kevin’s knee. “I know, babe. You’ve told us that before. But we’ve never been able to find the witch again. We’ve tried a thousand times - each time you’ve told us you don’t want the power anymore and each time you’ve told us you want us to have it too. But she’s… gone. She screwed you over and took off.”
“She didn’t screw me over.” Kevin glares slightly at him, wrapping his arm around my shoulders when I slide in to snuggle against his side in a way I obviously can’t when he’s small. “I like doing it; it’s like having a whole new perspective about how things are. I just wish I could do it with you guys. And I wish I didn’t have to be the size of an eraser. I want to swim in the ocean and not have to worry about being eaten by a bigger fish. It’s annoying.”
“But as it is, you’re a big fish in a small pond.” Joe jokes lamely, kissing his cheek and rearranging himself to nuzzle against Kevin’s stomach. I pet his hair lightly. “Or… a small aquarium. Hey, you know, actually, your aquarium is huge. And you have the most bad-ass set-up in the world. Like, I wish I slept on a purple anemone and had a castle to chill in - not to mention the pirate treasure. I mean, no wonder you’re living in style, with all that booty at your disposal.”
I flick his forehead, and he gives an annoyed little whine, but Kevin is smiling, so I guess Joe’s okay. I kiss his neck, and he sighs softly. “You’re my baby.” I murmur. “My favorite fishy. We could get you a little fish friend. I mean, he’d totally have an inferiority complex because you’re always going to be my favorite, but then you’d have someone to chill with when I’m not cooing about how adorable you are…”
“Nuh-uh.” Kevin scoffs. “You’d totally fall madly in love with a new fish. That’s how pets work, you know. As soon as you get a new one, the old ones aren’t as fun or adorable anymore, and they’re left all alone, starved of attention…”
“Well, it’s a good thing you’re not our pet then.” Joe nudges his way under Kevin’s shirt like a puppy, kissing his navel. “You’re our love. It’s totally different.”
“Okay, okay.” Kevin totally doesn’t want to admit that the idea makes him smile, but he’s completely smiling, so it’s hard for him to pretend. “I guess my pond is pretty big.”