Fic: The Best Policy (Part 5)
Title: The Best Policy (Part 5/5)
Pairings: Koyama/Shige, Shige/Tanabe Satoshi, one-sided Kurosaki/Tanabe Satoshi
Prompt: #016 - Miss
Words: ~5,000
Rating: PG-13
A/N: Written for Conny and je_prompts
Summary: One day, Shige wakes up to find himself trapped in the world of the Kurosagi drama, with no idea how he got there, and no idea how to get out.
To all of you who've been here from the beginning, to those of you who began reading from today, and to everyone who started from some time inbetween, thank you for coming this far. And to Conny, for who this birthday present took so long in the making, thanks for putting up with me. It's been my pleasure.
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He didn’t even bother with greetings or formalities when Kurosaki opened the door. Instead, he cut right to the chase.
“There’s something I have to tell you.” He said. “Something I should have told you days ago.”
Kurosaki regarded him coolly. He looked like he was tempted not to listen and just go back to whatever he’d been doing, but as someone who was suspicious of Shige - not to mention his landlord - he was quite aware that not hearing him out would be foolish.
“Alright.” He said, and Shige motioned to his room behind him.
“Can we talk in there? I don’t want anyone overhearing us.” It was the drama world, after all. You could never know who was listening.
“If we do, we’re talking in yours.” Kurosaki said firmly, not about to let anyone into his private space. Shige just shrugged; it was fine with him. He’d seen what Kurosaki’s room looked like, and there probably wasn’t even enough space for him to stand, let alone sit.
Once they were inside, Shige sat down cross-legged while Kurosaki kept standing. Shige invited him to sit, but he declined with a shake of his head.
“Well…” He drew the word out slowly, uncomfortable with the way he was being towered over. “I’m not sure how to say this.”
“Just say it.” Kurosaki advised, managing to sound bored enough to guilt Shige into feeling like he was a big waste of time.
“I’m not sure whether to tell you the whole story, or just the parts you might believe.” He admitted.
“If I’m not going to believe something there’s no point in telling me.” Kurosaki replied bluntly, but Shige was mostly used to his attitude by now and took it in stride.
“Okay.” He said. It was probably better that Kurosaki not know the truth anyway. “So just over a week ago, I went to sleep in a hotel room in Sapporo, then woke up the next day on your balcony with no idea how I got there. I’d barely opened my eyes when you came out of your door. I tried to get into contact with my friends and family after you left, but I couldn’t, so I decided to stay here.”
Shige paused, just in case Kurosaki wanted to ask any questions, but true to his nature, he merely nodded as though to tell him to keep going.
“Anyway,” Shige continued, “The next day, I met Satoshi on the street.”
That comment got a bit of a flinch out of Kurosaki, but he still didn’t say anything.
“I ran into him and made him spill his coffee, so I bought him a new one. We exchanged mail addresses, and things kind of… happened by themselves from there.” He said, trying to ignore the heat in his face that he knew meant he was blushing.
He stopped talking again, and then after waiting a while to make sure Shige wasn’t going to say anything else, Kurosaki stretched and began to make motions as though he were about to leave.
“Well, I don’t know why you felt like you should tell me all that, but I can assure you that I didn’t have to know.” Then in his usual curt fashion, he turned to leave without even saying goodbye.
“Wait!” Shige panicked, scrambling up from the ground. “I have more to say. I just felt like I needed to build up to it. Just wait a moment and listen to the rest okay?”
“Is the rest relevant to me?” He asked without turning around, hand poised above the door handle. Shige made a sound of affirmation, and Kurosaki turned back around, arms folded.
“About Satoshi.” Shige said, unable to make eye contact. “His sister, Tanabe Misaki. She’s a swindler. An Akasagi.”
In a different situation, Shige probably would’ve expected a surprise for finally managing to get a real expression of surprise out of Kurosaki, but right now he wasn’t feeling all that cocky. It didn’t take long for the expression to disappear from his face anyway, back to his usual stoic look.
“That has nothing to do with me.” He said, without even a waver in his voice. But Shige persisted.
“Why not? Don’t you make it your job to catch swindlers?”
“For someone who doesn’t seem like much of a busybody at first, you know a lot of stuff you shouldn’t. But just to humour you, I’ll tell you that I have no interest in Akasagi. Is that all?”
Shige gaped at him, but then remembered. In the show, Kurosaki hadn’t cared to go after Misaki at first. What was it that had convinced him in the end? Her fund? A joint account? He couldn’t remember.
Not that it really mattered, Shige realized. In the end what had really clinched it was Satoshi.
“No. It’s not all.” He said, clenching his fists as though it would give him strength. “Satoshi is… Satoshi is the same as his sister. He’s a swindler, just like her.”
Kurosaki didn’t say a word, but Shige thought that if he ever got back to the real world, he’d do everything in his power to make sure he never saw this look on Yamapi’s face again. It was a subtle expression, but somehow still managed to be filled with disbelief and hurt, as though he just couldn’t understand why this was happening. Shige almost hated himself for being the cause of it.
“If you’re lying,” Kurosaki eventually told him, in precise, measured syllables. “I’m going to have to ask you to move out of my apartments right away.”
“I really want to be lying.” Shige replied, eyes flicking away. He couldn’t look at his face anymore; just seeing it hurt. “But I’m not. He told me today, but I already knew from the very beginning, just like I knew about you and Katsuragi and all those other things I shouldn’t.”
The two of them fell silent, until Kurosaki took a deep breath and let out a sigh.
“I think you should go and see him tomorrow.” He said, and Shige’s eyebrows shot up.
“Why?” He asked. He’d expected for Kurosaki to either call him a liar, or coldly tell him that he’d take care of it. He hadn’t been expecting anything else.
“Because,” Kurosaki said, as he opened the door, back to Shige as he spoke. “Tomorrow when you’re at work, I’m going to go and talk to him. And if what you’re saying to me is true, then you’re never going to see him again.”
In his bed later that night, Shige found that he couldn’t fall asleep. He’d done the right thing, telling Kurosaki. He’d take care of it without leaving either of the Tanabe siblings the chance to escape, and he was probably even in time to make sure that Tsurara’s friend Yukari, or the man at the beginning of that particular episode weren’t swindled out of their money. He knew beyond a doubt that he’d done the right thing, but he still felt like scum.
Satoshi had offered him his love, and Shige had turned around and given him a jail sentence in return. Part of him felt a little like he was sentencing Koyama to prison, which didn’t help, and he felt nervous about going to see him tomorrow as well.
Nervous and sickened by himself, because he already knew what was going to happen once he got there.
Shige was well aware that this could be his last chance to be with Koyama in any way, shape or form. After this, it was possible that he’d never be held by Koyama’s body, kissed by his lips, or ever be able to feel his skin against his own ever again. He knew that he shouldn’t, because the more he let Satoshi have him, the more he missed the real Koyama who couldn’t forgive guys who’d hurt a girl, let alone be able to do it himself. He missed their private jokes and commuting to work together and horsing around in the dressing room. It was a terrible vicious circle. The more he had of Satoshi, the more he wanted the real Koyama back, and the more he wanted Koyama back, the more he turned to Satoshi to get some quick relief.
If he was really a good person concerned with doing the right thing, he’d tell Satoshi that they couldn’t be together the moment he saw him tomorrow, but Shige knew that he wouldn’t. It was too easy to give in.
He managed to snatch little intervals of sleep, but once the sunrise because to creep between his curtains, he found that he couldn’t even do that anymore and got up.
He flipped his phone open and shut over and over again all morning, but waited until half past eight before sending Satoshi a mail, asking if they could see each other before he went to work that day.
The response came in a matter of minutes, almost as though Satoshi had been waiting up for his message.
“Of course I’d love to see you. Come over any time you like.”
It still made Shige smile, just like the first time he’d gotten a mail from Satoshi when he’d been at work, but for some reason it felt like the warmth had stopped just short of his heart. He wasn’t sure why; maybe it was because he finally understood that it wasn’t really ‘Koyama’ sending him these messages, but someone different.
“Is now too early?” He sent back, knowing that if he had to spend another hour at home he’d go crazy. Fortunately Satoshi replied with, “Now is perfect” and Shige grabbed his work clothes and was out the door within seconds of getting the message.
Once he got there, he barely had a chance to knock before Satoshi greeted him and ushered him inside.
“My sister’s still asleep.” He told Shige in a soft voice as he took his hand and entwined their fingers. “She was out late last night, so we have to be careful to stay quiet and not wake her up.”
Shige swallowed, hoping it was inaudible.
“Should we go to your room then?” He asked, knowing that Satoshi would probably take his suggestion the wrong way. It beat the alternative of meeting Misaki though; not only would that be awkward, but he was worried she’d pick up some strange vibes from him that would make her suspicious.
“That’s so forward of you, Shige.” Satoshi said, chuckling in a way that almost sounded shy. “Is that why you came over today? You should’ve just stayed the night instead.”
“It isn’t.” Shige insisted, but didn’t resist when Satoshi pulled him closer. “I just wanted to see you before work today, and I didn’t have my work clothes last night so I had to go home.”
Still, he let himself be taken by the hand and lead into Satoshi’s room where they sat down on the bed, like they had just the day before.
“I’m glad you did come to see me though.” Satoshi said, putting his arms around Shige in a sideways embrace. “I was worried that after what I told you yesterday, you might never want to see me again.”
Shige stiffened.
“I… can we not talk about that for now?” He asked. He didn’t want to think about how he’d effectively sealed Satoshi’s fate yesterday by telling Kurosaki about him. The only thing he really wanted to do was take the advice he’d been given yesterday and say goodbye.
“I guess you’re still uncomfortable with it.” Satoshi sighed, nuzzling his hair. “I couldn’t sleep last night, wondering if you wouldn’t be able to handle what I do in the end.”
“It’s not that. I’d just like to… be with you right now, without talking about anything.” Shige muttered, a little embarrassed. Satoshi fell silent, but then Shige felt him smile against the side of his head.
“Okay.” He said, and pressed a kiss to Shige’s cheek. “I’d like that too.”
It was slower and gentler than the day before, but in essence, they both knew it was leading up to the same thing.
Shige’s heart somersaulted at the feeling of Satoshi’s lips on his neck, and for a moment he was convinced that he wouldn’t be able to help but sleep with him again. But when he felt a hand sneaking up under his shirt, Shige’s eyes flew open and he grabbed Satoshi’s wrist.
“Wait.” He said, and saw Satoshi’s features morph into an expression of concern.
“What’s wrong?” He asked, thankfully removing his hand. Shige bit his lip.
“I… I don’t want to go that far today.” He admitted, at least having the decency to blush. “Can you just hold me?”
Shige wanted to smack himself for sounding like such a girl, but he’d had to do something to stop what was going on. Even just the promise of sex had had him feeling that same resounding emptiness from yesterday and he hadn’t been able to stand the thought.
For a moment, he expected to be pressured, but instead he was answered with a breathless laugh and another kiss.
“You’re cute when you act all vulnerable.” Satoshi said, running a hand through his hair. “But okay. I understand.”
He wrapped his arms around his waist, pulling him close, and it didn’t take long before he dozed off with Shige still firmly tucked up against him.
Shige couldn’t fall asleep so easily though. He was too preoccupied with being surprised at himself. Last night, and even this morning up until now, he’d been sure that he’d give in and sleep with Satoshi again, especially given that this would be his last chance. Instead, he’d found that he didn’t even want to, and was much happier with just lying here in his arms.
Satoshi woke up again about half an hour before Shige had to leave. He yawned, blinked, then smiled and Shige felt his heart melt.
“Hey.” Satoshi said through another yawn, then made a great effort to edge close enough to Shige to kiss him. “I think I quite like this waking up next to you think. I hope I’ll be able to do it more often from now on.”
Shige tried not to let his own smile falter, knowing full well that he might not even see Satoshi again, let alone fall asleep in his arms.
“I’ve got to go to work soon.” He said, burying his face in Satoshi’s shoulder so he wouldn’t see his guilty expression. “We’d better get up.”
Satoshi clung onto him for a while, but eventually relented, and Shige got ready to leave. He convinced him not to see him any further than the door, and when Satoshi kissed and hugged him, Shige held on tightly for longer than normal.
“You’ll be late if you don’t let go.” Satoshi warned him, but he sounded pleased. Shige sighed and nodded against his shoulder.
“I know…” He said, his voice nothing but a tiny whisper. “It… yeah. Okay. I’ll go now.”
Satoshi laughed. “You make it sound like I’m forcing you to leave. I’ll see you soon, yeah?”
Shige couldn’t manage a nod. “Good bye, Satoshi. Thanks for everything.”
“You’re talking like we’re never going to see each other again. Stop being silly, you can come over again tomorrow if you want, alright?”
Shige pulled away from him and forced a smile.
“I’ll keep that in mind.” He said. “Bye. Take care.”
“Have a good day at work.” Satoshi replied, waving to him with a brilliant smile plastered on his face and no idea of what was waiting around the corner for him.
“Kurosaki was here today.” Katsuragi told him when he arrived, and Shige forced a smile.
“Is that so?” He asked, doing his best not to sound too pained. Katsuragi must already know what was going on, he realized. There was no other reason for him to bring it up otherwise. “Well, I’ll begin work now.”
He bowed and took his leave before Katsuragi could say anything else and make him feel any more despicable.
Work dragged on that day, and his heart wasn’t in it. He even managed to drop and break a dish, which usually would’ve humiliated him, but he was feeling so apathetic that it hardly bothered him. He kept checking his phone whenever he had the chance, but nothing came. Not that he expected anything, especially if Satoshi was with Kurosaki right now.
Each minute that passed seems to stretch itself into an hour, but once work was finally over, Shige found he didn’t have any idea what he wanted to do.
He wasn’t sure if he wanted to go back to his apartment and have Kurosaki tell him that Satoshi had been arrested, but he had nowhere else to go either. And in the end, going back home sounded better than wandering aimlessly, and so he left the restaurant and ambled along the road, taking his time and hoping that maybe he’d make it into his room without having to talk to anyone first.
But that hope was proved worthless when he found Kurosaki waiting at the bottom of the stairs for him once he got back.
“I’ll hand the evidence over to the police tomorrow. They’ll be arrested before the day is up.” He said. No admitting that Shige had been telling the truth about Satoshi, no asking if he’d gone to see him today like he’d suggested. It was all just business. And while Shige had been expecting it, he still wished that Kurosaki would show some emotion.
Because they both cared about Satoshi, in their strange little ways, and he knew it.
“So you’re not going to swindle any money out of them.” Shige said, and his voice sounded tired. He didn’t want to have this discussion, but he felt like he had to.
“There’s no point in wasting my time like that. I had no information fee to pay, and no one to return the money to. This way is easier.” Kurosaki replied simply. “Anyway, I only just finished a case yesterday, so why would I cause more trouble for myself when I don’t need to?”
“Okay.” Shige said, not feeling like taking the conversation any further. “Well, good night then.”
He walked past Kurosaki, and started to climb up the stairs to his room, but he’d barely cleared the first two when Kurosaki said to him, “No one would stop you from coming with me tomorrow. Even that old man would understand if you missed work for this.”
Shige knew he wasn’t talking about joining him to hand in the evidence; he wouldn’t do that in person anyway.
“I’m…” Shige tried to say that he didn’t want to go, wasn’t sure he could handle seeing Satoshi and hearing the accusations he’d undoubtedly fling at the two of them, but something stopped him. “I see. Maybe I’ll… join you then.”
Once he was under his bedcovers, Shige expected another night of broken, uneasy sleep, but the moment he closed his eyes he drifted off and didn’t wake up again until morning.
He was roused by the sound of knocking on his door and, still half asleep, stumbled out of bed to find something appropriate to put on.
“I’m coming!” He called out, voice still thick.
Kurosaki was waiting at the door when he opened it.
“Your shirt’s inside-out.” He pointed out bluntly, then without giving Shige any time to reply, continued, “You sleep rather late into the afternoon. I hope you’re ready to go, because I’m not going to wait around for you any longer.”
“What time is it?” Shige asked, pulling his T-shirt off and putting it back on the right way. He raked his fingers through his hair, not wanting to waste time looking for the comb he’d bought the other day.
“Nearly 2 o’clock.” Kurosaki replied, already walking towards the stairs. Shige hurried after him, almost tripping over his own feet in his haste.
“Did you hand in your evidence to the police yet?” He asked.
“No. I’m going to do it now and then we’re going to go over. They work fast when it suits them, and with a catch as easy as this, if I’d already handed it in they’d be there by now.”
“So that’s how it works, huh…” Shige muttered.
He waited outside while Kurosaki dropped off what Shige assumed was the tape of Satoshi confessing to being a swindler as he was unknowingly recorded. It didn’t take long before he was out again, and they were walking on the now familiar path to Satoshi’s home for what Shige knew would be the last time.
“I was surprised that you asked me along.” Shige said when the silence finally became too uncomfortable for him.
“It wasn’t for your sake.” Kurosaki replied immediately, as though he was worried about Shige getting the wrong idea. “He loved you. If he sees you there, he’ll finally understand what the consequences of becoming a swindler were. I want him to know that.”
“He loved you too.” Shige replied, a little irritated that he was being used as the means to achieve someone else’s end. “More than you realized.”
But if he’d been expecting surprise, he was disappointed, because Kurosaki didn’t even bat an eyelid.
“You probably shouldn’t go around making assumptions about what other people did and didn’t realize.” Was all he said, and Shige didn’t have a reply to that.
They waited across from the house, staying out of sight in case Satoshi or Misaki decided to leave or come back from somewhere while they were there, but by the time the first police car pulled up, closely followed by another and then another, they hadn’t seen either of the two.
They watched the cops pile out of the cars, and Shige recognized one of them as Kashima, the persistent detective from the series.
Kurosaki walked over to the fence and sat down by a tree, so Shige followed. The police largely ignored them, probably assuming that they were nothing but curious bystanders who’d been drawn by the sound of sirens.
It takes a little while, but Misaki is brought out first, face sombre and blank.
“That kind of tape can’t be used as evidence.” Shige heard her say, but her voice had no fight in it. She sounded resigned, as if she already knew they’d lost.
Satoshi was brought out soon after, with an expression that matched his sister’s until his eyes flicked up and landed on them.
He saw Kurosaki’s head move, saw their eyes meet, and Satoshi froze. Then he broke away from the policeman leading him to the car, dashing over to where they were.
“Kurosaki…” He grabbed the fence, pushing against it. “Is it true that you were the one who handed in that tape? You tricked me, right? I thought of you as my friend, and yet you still… Why?”
He smashed a fist against the railing, and Kurosaki stood up, unable to face Satoshi as he spoke.
“Because we were friends.”
Shige saw Satoshi’s face crumple, and he stood up too, standing by Kurosaki. Satoshi looked at him next.
“Shige… you too…” Satoshi said, and Shige knew he’d always remember this moment as the first time he saw someone’s heart break. “I meant it when I promised that I’d take care of you! But you still… how could you, when I loved you so much?”
Shige wanted to say something to make him understand; something that showed he’d done the right thing, that he’d had no other choice, but all he could think of were words that came from somebody else.
“Because I didn’t want to see you become a swindler.”
Satoshi stared at him hopelessly, and then he let his head fall against the fence as though he didn’t have enough strength to hold it up anymore. Shige almost wasn’t expecting it when Kashima strode over and grabbed him by his hair, smashing his face against the chain linking.
“So we meet again, Kurosaki-san.” He said, ignoring Shige completely. “It looks like the two of you know each other quite well. Why don’t you cross over this fence and save him? How about that?”
Kurosaki’s jaw moved, and hesitation was apparent in his eyes.
“Kurosaki…” Satoshi’s fingers curled around the cold metal, and Shige could almost see them reliving the past, the first time that Satoshi had jumped over the fence so they could be together. And then Kurosaki turned around and walked away, not even stopping when Satoshi screamed his name after him. And Shige had no choice but to follow him, without looking back.
The two of them walked back to the little apartment block as the sun began to disappear below the horizon, and for the first time since they’d met, Kurosaki finally saw it fit to ask him something personal about himself.
“I don’t see why you and Satoshi got together if you already knew he was a swindler.” It wasn’t worded like a question, but Shige knew that it was.
“He looks… he acts… he’s just very similar to someone I’m in love with. Similar in a way that you wouldn’t believe.” He wished he could explain it probably so that he’d sound less shallow, less like he’d been using Satoshi, but there was no way he could tell the full story. Maybe even if he had been able to, it wouldn’t have made a difference anyway.
“Then you shouldn’t have been with him. You should’ve been with that other person.” Kurosaki pointed out, and Shige smiled humourlessly.
“If I could be, then I would. It’s not that easy. I’ve been hoping for the longest time, I can’t tell him. I don’t know how to.”
“Honesty is the best policy. You’ve seen what happens to people when they aren’t. They lose what’s important to them.” Kurosaki replied. “Maybe you should stop running away before you do as well. If that’s all you can do, then hope means nothing.”
“I know that.” Shige’s lip quivered and he quickly bit down on it to stop it. Kurosaki’s words reminded him of that night at the hotel; the night before he’d woken up alone in this world, when he’d wished and wished to have Koyama to himself without the rest of the world in the way. And maybe, in a way, he had gotten that wish. Perhaps the time he’d been able to spend with Satoshi was the closest he’d get to having Koyama if all he ever did was run away.
“I know.” He repeated softly, but this time he thought he might really mean it.
Kurosaki didn’t say another word to him, not even once they got back to the apartment and split up to go to their respective rooms.
Shige sat down on his bed, twisting the blankets in his hands, wondering how he was going to get through the rest of his days here. He wanted to take another day off work, and maybe the next, and then the one after that as well. Now that Satoshi was gone, now that he had nothing to remind him of Koyama aside from his own memories, he wasn’t sure how to confront the world outside of his room again.
But what Kurosaki had said didn’t just apply to the situation with Koyama. He needed to be brave and face what he knew was waiting for him.
Shige finally managed to fall asleep just as tendrils of sunlight began to snake into his room, having spent the whole night up thinking. He knew that he would probably be late for work, but that was the last thing on his mind right now. He’d go back soon and accept whatever was waiting for him.
When he finally woke up again, the bed felt softer than he remembered, and the sound of the room was different. There was a soft hum and occasional click that he thought sounded like an air conditioner, and muffled footsteps nearby.
His heart sped up, but he couldn’t bring himself to open his eyes and confirm what he hoped was true until a voice very close to his ear whispered, “Shige, it’s time to get up. You get the shower first today.”
His eyes flew open, just as Koyama blew a stream of cold air right inside his ear canal, and starting to laugh like it was the most hysterical way to wake someone up ever.
But Shige didn’t have it in him to get mad. He grabbed Koyama’s hand and tugged, causing him to screech and fall on to the bed, on top of Shige who held him in a tight embrace. He laughed again, struggling a little until he realized that this was Shige playing along, trying to get revenge; it was Shige hugging him with every fibre of his being like he was terrified Koyama was about to disappear. He stilled, body tensing, and his fingers automatically gripped Shige’s shoulders as though to steady and comfort him.
“What’s wrong?” He asked, tone soft and comforting but worried all the same. “Are you okay, Shige?”
“I’m fine.” Shige mumbles, voice heavy from holding back tears. “I just… I just had a bad dream, and you weren’t there, and it was… but I’m fine. I’m okay.”
Koyama chuckled again, and his body suddenly felt a little heavier to Shige as his tension drained away.
“Stupid. A dream is just a dream. I’m here now, right?”
Shige paused. Had it really just been a dream? But it had felt so real and he could remember it all so clearly; Kurosaki’s sarcastic voice, the smell of the restaurant kitchen, the route to Satoshi’s house, and the way Satoshi’s lips had felt on his.
The same way that Koyama’s lips would feel.
“Right.” He said eventually, and let Koyama go.
He rolled off, but offered Shige a hand once he was and, and when he took it, Koyama pulled him to his feet.
“Don’t take too long in the shower. I still need to have mine.” He said, giving him a little push towards the bathroom.
“I’ll take as long as I need.” Shige replied, then faltered.
“Maybe you should stop running away. If that’s all you can do, then hope means nothing.”
Whether it had been a dream or real, whether it’d been a single night, or over a whole week, it made no difference. Everything he’d thought, everything he’d learned, everything that had been said to him was still tucked away in his head, and Kurosaki’s words still rang in his ears as though he’d only just said them.
“After the concerts today, I need to talk to you about something.” Shige said, with his back still turned to Koyama.
“Okay.” Koyama replied, a little puzzled but agreeing none the less. “Sure.”
“Thanks.” Shige looked over his shoulder to flash him a smile of gratitude. And as he headed to the bathroom to take his shower, his heart felt unusually light.
Because even if right now he was walking away from Koyama, he was never going to run away again.
Not anymore.
Pairings: Koyama/Shige, Shige/Tanabe Satoshi, one-sided Kurosaki/Tanabe Satoshi
Prompt: #016 - Miss
Words: ~5,000
Rating: PG-13
A/N: Written for Conny and je_prompts
Summary: One day, Shige wakes up to find himself trapped in the world of the Kurosagi drama, with no idea how he got there, and no idea how to get out.
To all of you who've been here from the beginning, to those of you who began reading from today, and to everyone who started from some time inbetween, thank you for coming this far. And to Conny, for who this birthday present took so long in the making, thanks for putting up with me. It's been my pleasure.
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He didn’t even bother with greetings or formalities when Kurosaki opened the door. Instead, he cut right to the chase.
“There’s something I have to tell you.” He said. “Something I should have told you days ago.”
Kurosaki regarded him coolly. He looked like he was tempted not to listen and just go back to whatever he’d been doing, but as someone who was suspicious of Shige - not to mention his landlord - he was quite aware that not hearing him out would be foolish.
“Alright.” He said, and Shige motioned to his room behind him.
“Can we talk in there? I don’t want anyone overhearing us.” It was the drama world, after all. You could never know who was listening.
“If we do, we’re talking in yours.” Kurosaki said firmly, not about to let anyone into his private space. Shige just shrugged; it was fine with him. He’d seen what Kurosaki’s room looked like, and there probably wasn’t even enough space for him to stand, let alone sit.
Once they were inside, Shige sat down cross-legged while Kurosaki kept standing. Shige invited him to sit, but he declined with a shake of his head.
“Well…” He drew the word out slowly, uncomfortable with the way he was being towered over. “I’m not sure how to say this.”
“Just say it.” Kurosaki advised, managing to sound bored enough to guilt Shige into feeling like he was a big waste of time.
“I’m not sure whether to tell you the whole story, or just the parts you might believe.” He admitted.
“If I’m not going to believe something there’s no point in telling me.” Kurosaki replied bluntly, but Shige was mostly used to his attitude by now and took it in stride.
“Okay.” He said. It was probably better that Kurosaki not know the truth anyway. “So just over a week ago, I went to sleep in a hotel room in Sapporo, then woke up the next day on your balcony with no idea how I got there. I’d barely opened my eyes when you came out of your door. I tried to get into contact with my friends and family after you left, but I couldn’t, so I decided to stay here.”
Shige paused, just in case Kurosaki wanted to ask any questions, but true to his nature, he merely nodded as though to tell him to keep going.
“Anyway,” Shige continued, “The next day, I met Satoshi on the street.”
That comment got a bit of a flinch out of Kurosaki, but he still didn’t say anything.
“I ran into him and made him spill his coffee, so I bought him a new one. We exchanged mail addresses, and things kind of… happened by themselves from there.” He said, trying to ignore the heat in his face that he knew meant he was blushing.
He stopped talking again, and then after waiting a while to make sure Shige wasn’t going to say anything else, Kurosaki stretched and began to make motions as though he were about to leave.
“Well, I don’t know why you felt like you should tell me all that, but I can assure you that I didn’t have to know.” Then in his usual curt fashion, he turned to leave without even saying goodbye.
“Wait!” Shige panicked, scrambling up from the ground. “I have more to say. I just felt like I needed to build up to it. Just wait a moment and listen to the rest okay?”
“Is the rest relevant to me?” He asked without turning around, hand poised above the door handle. Shige made a sound of affirmation, and Kurosaki turned back around, arms folded.
“About Satoshi.” Shige said, unable to make eye contact. “His sister, Tanabe Misaki. She’s a swindler. An Akasagi.”
In a different situation, Shige probably would’ve expected a surprise for finally managing to get a real expression of surprise out of Kurosaki, but right now he wasn’t feeling all that cocky. It didn’t take long for the expression to disappear from his face anyway, back to his usual stoic look.
“That has nothing to do with me.” He said, without even a waver in his voice. But Shige persisted.
“Why not? Don’t you make it your job to catch swindlers?”
“For someone who doesn’t seem like much of a busybody at first, you know a lot of stuff you shouldn’t. But just to humour you, I’ll tell you that I have no interest in Akasagi. Is that all?”
Shige gaped at him, but then remembered. In the show, Kurosaki hadn’t cared to go after Misaki at first. What was it that had convinced him in the end? Her fund? A joint account? He couldn’t remember.
Not that it really mattered, Shige realized. In the end what had really clinched it was Satoshi.
“No. It’s not all.” He said, clenching his fists as though it would give him strength. “Satoshi is… Satoshi is the same as his sister. He’s a swindler, just like her.”
Kurosaki didn’t say a word, but Shige thought that if he ever got back to the real world, he’d do everything in his power to make sure he never saw this look on Yamapi’s face again. It was a subtle expression, but somehow still managed to be filled with disbelief and hurt, as though he just couldn’t understand why this was happening. Shige almost hated himself for being the cause of it.
“If you’re lying,” Kurosaki eventually told him, in precise, measured syllables. “I’m going to have to ask you to move out of my apartments right away.”
“I really want to be lying.” Shige replied, eyes flicking away. He couldn’t look at his face anymore; just seeing it hurt. “But I’m not. He told me today, but I already knew from the very beginning, just like I knew about you and Katsuragi and all those other things I shouldn’t.”
The two of them fell silent, until Kurosaki took a deep breath and let out a sigh.
“I think you should go and see him tomorrow.” He said, and Shige’s eyebrows shot up.
“Why?” He asked. He’d expected for Kurosaki to either call him a liar, or coldly tell him that he’d take care of it. He hadn’t been expecting anything else.
“Because,” Kurosaki said, as he opened the door, back to Shige as he spoke. “Tomorrow when you’re at work, I’m going to go and talk to him. And if what you’re saying to me is true, then you’re never going to see him again.”
In his bed later that night, Shige found that he couldn’t fall asleep. He’d done the right thing, telling Kurosaki. He’d take care of it without leaving either of the Tanabe siblings the chance to escape, and he was probably even in time to make sure that Tsurara’s friend Yukari, or the man at the beginning of that particular episode weren’t swindled out of their money. He knew beyond a doubt that he’d done the right thing, but he still felt like scum.
Satoshi had offered him his love, and Shige had turned around and given him a jail sentence in return. Part of him felt a little like he was sentencing Koyama to prison, which didn’t help, and he felt nervous about going to see him tomorrow as well.
Nervous and sickened by himself, because he already knew what was going to happen once he got there.
Shige was well aware that this could be his last chance to be with Koyama in any way, shape or form. After this, it was possible that he’d never be held by Koyama’s body, kissed by his lips, or ever be able to feel his skin against his own ever again. He knew that he shouldn’t, because the more he let Satoshi have him, the more he missed the real Koyama who couldn’t forgive guys who’d hurt a girl, let alone be able to do it himself. He missed their private jokes and commuting to work together and horsing around in the dressing room. It was a terrible vicious circle. The more he had of Satoshi, the more he wanted the real Koyama back, and the more he wanted Koyama back, the more he turned to Satoshi to get some quick relief.
If he was really a good person concerned with doing the right thing, he’d tell Satoshi that they couldn’t be together the moment he saw him tomorrow, but Shige knew that he wouldn’t. It was too easy to give in.
He managed to snatch little intervals of sleep, but once the sunrise because to creep between his curtains, he found that he couldn’t even do that anymore and got up.
He flipped his phone open and shut over and over again all morning, but waited until half past eight before sending Satoshi a mail, asking if they could see each other before he went to work that day.
The response came in a matter of minutes, almost as though Satoshi had been waiting up for his message.
“Of course I’d love to see you. Come over any time you like.”
It still made Shige smile, just like the first time he’d gotten a mail from Satoshi when he’d been at work, but for some reason it felt like the warmth had stopped just short of his heart. He wasn’t sure why; maybe it was because he finally understood that it wasn’t really ‘Koyama’ sending him these messages, but someone different.
“Is now too early?” He sent back, knowing that if he had to spend another hour at home he’d go crazy. Fortunately Satoshi replied with, “Now is perfect” and Shige grabbed his work clothes and was out the door within seconds of getting the message.
Once he got there, he barely had a chance to knock before Satoshi greeted him and ushered him inside.
“My sister’s still asleep.” He told Shige in a soft voice as he took his hand and entwined their fingers. “She was out late last night, so we have to be careful to stay quiet and not wake her up.”
Shige swallowed, hoping it was inaudible.
“Should we go to your room then?” He asked, knowing that Satoshi would probably take his suggestion the wrong way. It beat the alternative of meeting Misaki though; not only would that be awkward, but he was worried she’d pick up some strange vibes from him that would make her suspicious.
“That’s so forward of you, Shige.” Satoshi said, chuckling in a way that almost sounded shy. “Is that why you came over today? You should’ve just stayed the night instead.”
“It isn’t.” Shige insisted, but didn’t resist when Satoshi pulled him closer. “I just wanted to see you before work today, and I didn’t have my work clothes last night so I had to go home.”
Still, he let himself be taken by the hand and lead into Satoshi’s room where they sat down on the bed, like they had just the day before.
“I’m glad you did come to see me though.” Satoshi said, putting his arms around Shige in a sideways embrace. “I was worried that after what I told you yesterday, you might never want to see me again.”
Shige stiffened.
“I… can we not talk about that for now?” He asked. He didn’t want to think about how he’d effectively sealed Satoshi’s fate yesterday by telling Kurosaki about him. The only thing he really wanted to do was take the advice he’d been given yesterday and say goodbye.
“I guess you’re still uncomfortable with it.” Satoshi sighed, nuzzling his hair. “I couldn’t sleep last night, wondering if you wouldn’t be able to handle what I do in the end.”
“It’s not that. I’d just like to… be with you right now, without talking about anything.” Shige muttered, a little embarrassed. Satoshi fell silent, but then Shige felt him smile against the side of his head.
“Okay.” He said, and pressed a kiss to Shige’s cheek. “I’d like that too.”
It was slower and gentler than the day before, but in essence, they both knew it was leading up to the same thing.
Shige’s heart somersaulted at the feeling of Satoshi’s lips on his neck, and for a moment he was convinced that he wouldn’t be able to help but sleep with him again. But when he felt a hand sneaking up under his shirt, Shige’s eyes flew open and he grabbed Satoshi’s wrist.
“Wait.” He said, and saw Satoshi’s features morph into an expression of concern.
“What’s wrong?” He asked, thankfully removing his hand. Shige bit his lip.
“I… I don’t want to go that far today.” He admitted, at least having the decency to blush. “Can you just hold me?”
Shige wanted to smack himself for sounding like such a girl, but he’d had to do something to stop what was going on. Even just the promise of sex had had him feeling that same resounding emptiness from yesterday and he hadn’t been able to stand the thought.
For a moment, he expected to be pressured, but instead he was answered with a breathless laugh and another kiss.
“You’re cute when you act all vulnerable.” Satoshi said, running a hand through his hair. “But okay. I understand.”
He wrapped his arms around his waist, pulling him close, and it didn’t take long before he dozed off with Shige still firmly tucked up against him.
Shige couldn’t fall asleep so easily though. He was too preoccupied with being surprised at himself. Last night, and even this morning up until now, he’d been sure that he’d give in and sleep with Satoshi again, especially given that this would be his last chance. Instead, he’d found that he didn’t even want to, and was much happier with just lying here in his arms.
Satoshi woke up again about half an hour before Shige had to leave. He yawned, blinked, then smiled and Shige felt his heart melt.
“Hey.” Satoshi said through another yawn, then made a great effort to edge close enough to Shige to kiss him. “I think I quite like this waking up next to you think. I hope I’ll be able to do it more often from now on.”
Shige tried not to let his own smile falter, knowing full well that he might not even see Satoshi again, let alone fall asleep in his arms.
“I’ve got to go to work soon.” He said, burying his face in Satoshi’s shoulder so he wouldn’t see his guilty expression. “We’d better get up.”
Satoshi clung onto him for a while, but eventually relented, and Shige got ready to leave. He convinced him not to see him any further than the door, and when Satoshi kissed and hugged him, Shige held on tightly for longer than normal.
“You’ll be late if you don’t let go.” Satoshi warned him, but he sounded pleased. Shige sighed and nodded against his shoulder.
“I know…” He said, his voice nothing but a tiny whisper. “It… yeah. Okay. I’ll go now.”
Satoshi laughed. “You make it sound like I’m forcing you to leave. I’ll see you soon, yeah?”
Shige couldn’t manage a nod. “Good bye, Satoshi. Thanks for everything.”
“You’re talking like we’re never going to see each other again. Stop being silly, you can come over again tomorrow if you want, alright?”
Shige pulled away from him and forced a smile.
“I’ll keep that in mind.” He said. “Bye. Take care.”
“Have a good day at work.” Satoshi replied, waving to him with a brilliant smile plastered on his face and no idea of what was waiting around the corner for him.
“Kurosaki was here today.” Katsuragi told him when he arrived, and Shige forced a smile.
“Is that so?” He asked, doing his best not to sound too pained. Katsuragi must already know what was going on, he realized. There was no other reason for him to bring it up otherwise. “Well, I’ll begin work now.”
He bowed and took his leave before Katsuragi could say anything else and make him feel any more despicable.
Work dragged on that day, and his heart wasn’t in it. He even managed to drop and break a dish, which usually would’ve humiliated him, but he was feeling so apathetic that it hardly bothered him. He kept checking his phone whenever he had the chance, but nothing came. Not that he expected anything, especially if Satoshi was with Kurosaki right now.
Each minute that passed seems to stretch itself into an hour, but once work was finally over, Shige found he didn’t have any idea what he wanted to do.
He wasn’t sure if he wanted to go back to his apartment and have Kurosaki tell him that Satoshi had been arrested, but he had nowhere else to go either. And in the end, going back home sounded better than wandering aimlessly, and so he left the restaurant and ambled along the road, taking his time and hoping that maybe he’d make it into his room without having to talk to anyone first.
But that hope was proved worthless when he found Kurosaki waiting at the bottom of the stairs for him once he got back.
“I’ll hand the evidence over to the police tomorrow. They’ll be arrested before the day is up.” He said. No admitting that Shige had been telling the truth about Satoshi, no asking if he’d gone to see him today like he’d suggested. It was all just business. And while Shige had been expecting it, he still wished that Kurosaki would show some emotion.
Because they both cared about Satoshi, in their strange little ways, and he knew it.
“So you’re not going to swindle any money out of them.” Shige said, and his voice sounded tired. He didn’t want to have this discussion, but he felt like he had to.
“There’s no point in wasting my time like that. I had no information fee to pay, and no one to return the money to. This way is easier.” Kurosaki replied simply. “Anyway, I only just finished a case yesterday, so why would I cause more trouble for myself when I don’t need to?”
“Okay.” Shige said, not feeling like taking the conversation any further. “Well, good night then.”
He walked past Kurosaki, and started to climb up the stairs to his room, but he’d barely cleared the first two when Kurosaki said to him, “No one would stop you from coming with me tomorrow. Even that old man would understand if you missed work for this.”
Shige knew he wasn’t talking about joining him to hand in the evidence; he wouldn’t do that in person anyway.
“I’m…” Shige tried to say that he didn’t want to go, wasn’t sure he could handle seeing Satoshi and hearing the accusations he’d undoubtedly fling at the two of them, but something stopped him. “I see. Maybe I’ll… join you then.”
Once he was under his bedcovers, Shige expected another night of broken, uneasy sleep, but the moment he closed his eyes he drifted off and didn’t wake up again until morning.
He was roused by the sound of knocking on his door and, still half asleep, stumbled out of bed to find something appropriate to put on.
“I’m coming!” He called out, voice still thick.
Kurosaki was waiting at the door when he opened it.
“Your shirt’s inside-out.” He pointed out bluntly, then without giving Shige any time to reply, continued, “You sleep rather late into the afternoon. I hope you’re ready to go, because I’m not going to wait around for you any longer.”
“What time is it?” Shige asked, pulling his T-shirt off and putting it back on the right way. He raked his fingers through his hair, not wanting to waste time looking for the comb he’d bought the other day.
“Nearly 2 o’clock.” Kurosaki replied, already walking towards the stairs. Shige hurried after him, almost tripping over his own feet in his haste.
“Did you hand in your evidence to the police yet?” He asked.
“No. I’m going to do it now and then we’re going to go over. They work fast when it suits them, and with a catch as easy as this, if I’d already handed it in they’d be there by now.”
“So that’s how it works, huh…” Shige muttered.
He waited outside while Kurosaki dropped off what Shige assumed was the tape of Satoshi confessing to being a swindler as he was unknowingly recorded. It didn’t take long before he was out again, and they were walking on the now familiar path to Satoshi’s home for what Shige knew would be the last time.
“I was surprised that you asked me along.” Shige said when the silence finally became too uncomfortable for him.
“It wasn’t for your sake.” Kurosaki replied immediately, as though he was worried about Shige getting the wrong idea. “He loved you. If he sees you there, he’ll finally understand what the consequences of becoming a swindler were. I want him to know that.”
“He loved you too.” Shige replied, a little irritated that he was being used as the means to achieve someone else’s end. “More than you realized.”
But if he’d been expecting surprise, he was disappointed, because Kurosaki didn’t even bat an eyelid.
“You probably shouldn’t go around making assumptions about what other people did and didn’t realize.” Was all he said, and Shige didn’t have a reply to that.
They waited across from the house, staying out of sight in case Satoshi or Misaki decided to leave or come back from somewhere while they were there, but by the time the first police car pulled up, closely followed by another and then another, they hadn’t seen either of the two.
They watched the cops pile out of the cars, and Shige recognized one of them as Kashima, the persistent detective from the series.
Kurosaki walked over to the fence and sat down by a tree, so Shige followed. The police largely ignored them, probably assuming that they were nothing but curious bystanders who’d been drawn by the sound of sirens.
It takes a little while, but Misaki is brought out first, face sombre and blank.
“That kind of tape can’t be used as evidence.” Shige heard her say, but her voice had no fight in it. She sounded resigned, as if she already knew they’d lost.
Satoshi was brought out soon after, with an expression that matched his sister’s until his eyes flicked up and landed on them.
He saw Kurosaki’s head move, saw their eyes meet, and Satoshi froze. Then he broke away from the policeman leading him to the car, dashing over to where they were.
“Kurosaki…” He grabbed the fence, pushing against it. “Is it true that you were the one who handed in that tape? You tricked me, right? I thought of you as my friend, and yet you still… Why?”
He smashed a fist against the railing, and Kurosaki stood up, unable to face Satoshi as he spoke.
“Because we were friends.”
Shige saw Satoshi’s face crumple, and he stood up too, standing by Kurosaki. Satoshi looked at him next.
“Shige… you too…” Satoshi said, and Shige knew he’d always remember this moment as the first time he saw someone’s heart break. “I meant it when I promised that I’d take care of you! But you still… how could you, when I loved you so much?”
Shige wanted to say something to make him understand; something that showed he’d done the right thing, that he’d had no other choice, but all he could think of were words that came from somebody else.
“Because I didn’t want to see you become a swindler.”
Satoshi stared at him hopelessly, and then he let his head fall against the fence as though he didn’t have enough strength to hold it up anymore. Shige almost wasn’t expecting it when Kashima strode over and grabbed him by his hair, smashing his face against the chain linking.
“So we meet again, Kurosaki-san.” He said, ignoring Shige completely. “It looks like the two of you know each other quite well. Why don’t you cross over this fence and save him? How about that?”
Kurosaki’s jaw moved, and hesitation was apparent in his eyes.
“Kurosaki…” Satoshi’s fingers curled around the cold metal, and Shige could almost see them reliving the past, the first time that Satoshi had jumped over the fence so they could be together. And then Kurosaki turned around and walked away, not even stopping when Satoshi screamed his name after him. And Shige had no choice but to follow him, without looking back.
The two of them walked back to the little apartment block as the sun began to disappear below the horizon, and for the first time since they’d met, Kurosaki finally saw it fit to ask him something personal about himself.
“I don’t see why you and Satoshi got together if you already knew he was a swindler.” It wasn’t worded like a question, but Shige knew that it was.
“He looks… he acts… he’s just very similar to someone I’m in love with. Similar in a way that you wouldn’t believe.” He wished he could explain it probably so that he’d sound less shallow, less like he’d been using Satoshi, but there was no way he could tell the full story. Maybe even if he had been able to, it wouldn’t have made a difference anyway.
“Then you shouldn’t have been with him. You should’ve been with that other person.” Kurosaki pointed out, and Shige smiled humourlessly.
“If I could be, then I would. It’s not that easy. I’ve been hoping for the longest time, I can’t tell him. I don’t know how to.”
“Honesty is the best policy. You’ve seen what happens to people when they aren’t. They lose what’s important to them.” Kurosaki replied. “Maybe you should stop running away before you do as well. If that’s all you can do, then hope means nothing.”
“I know that.” Shige’s lip quivered and he quickly bit down on it to stop it. Kurosaki’s words reminded him of that night at the hotel; the night before he’d woken up alone in this world, when he’d wished and wished to have Koyama to himself without the rest of the world in the way. And maybe, in a way, he had gotten that wish. Perhaps the time he’d been able to spend with Satoshi was the closest he’d get to having Koyama if all he ever did was run away.
“I know.” He repeated softly, but this time he thought he might really mean it.
Kurosaki didn’t say another word to him, not even once they got back to the apartment and split up to go to their respective rooms.
Shige sat down on his bed, twisting the blankets in his hands, wondering how he was going to get through the rest of his days here. He wanted to take another day off work, and maybe the next, and then the one after that as well. Now that Satoshi was gone, now that he had nothing to remind him of Koyama aside from his own memories, he wasn’t sure how to confront the world outside of his room again.
But what Kurosaki had said didn’t just apply to the situation with Koyama. He needed to be brave and face what he knew was waiting for him.
Shige finally managed to fall asleep just as tendrils of sunlight began to snake into his room, having spent the whole night up thinking. He knew that he would probably be late for work, but that was the last thing on his mind right now. He’d go back soon and accept whatever was waiting for him.
When he finally woke up again, the bed felt softer than he remembered, and the sound of the room was different. There was a soft hum and occasional click that he thought sounded like an air conditioner, and muffled footsteps nearby.
His heart sped up, but he couldn’t bring himself to open his eyes and confirm what he hoped was true until a voice very close to his ear whispered, “Shige, it’s time to get up. You get the shower first today.”
His eyes flew open, just as Koyama blew a stream of cold air right inside his ear canal, and starting to laugh like it was the most hysterical way to wake someone up ever.
But Shige didn’t have it in him to get mad. He grabbed Koyama’s hand and tugged, causing him to screech and fall on to the bed, on top of Shige who held him in a tight embrace. He laughed again, struggling a little until he realized that this was Shige playing along, trying to get revenge; it was Shige hugging him with every fibre of his being like he was terrified Koyama was about to disappear. He stilled, body tensing, and his fingers automatically gripped Shige’s shoulders as though to steady and comfort him.
“What’s wrong?” He asked, tone soft and comforting but worried all the same. “Are you okay, Shige?”
“I’m fine.” Shige mumbles, voice heavy from holding back tears. “I just… I just had a bad dream, and you weren’t there, and it was… but I’m fine. I’m okay.”
Koyama chuckled again, and his body suddenly felt a little heavier to Shige as his tension drained away.
“Stupid. A dream is just a dream. I’m here now, right?”
Shige paused. Had it really just been a dream? But it had felt so real and he could remember it all so clearly; Kurosaki’s sarcastic voice, the smell of the restaurant kitchen, the route to Satoshi’s house, and the way Satoshi’s lips had felt on his.
The same way that Koyama’s lips would feel.
“Right.” He said eventually, and let Koyama go.
He rolled off, but offered Shige a hand once he was and, and when he took it, Koyama pulled him to his feet.
“Don’t take too long in the shower. I still need to have mine.” He said, giving him a little push towards the bathroom.
“I’ll take as long as I need.” Shige replied, then faltered.
“Maybe you should stop running away. If that’s all you can do, then hope means nothing.”
Whether it had been a dream or real, whether it’d been a single night, or over a whole week, it made no difference. Everything he’d thought, everything he’d learned, everything that had been said to him was still tucked away in his head, and Kurosaki’s words still rang in his ears as though he’d only just said them.
“After the concerts today, I need to talk to you about something.” Shige said, with his back still turned to Koyama.
“Okay.” Koyama replied, a little puzzled but agreeing none the less. “Sure.”
“Thanks.” Shige looked over his shoulder to flash him a smile of gratitude. And as he headed to the bathroom to take his shower, his heart felt unusually light.
Because even if right now he was walking away from Koyama, he was never going to run away again.
Not anymore.