so theres not really much to report. the summer is almost over, ive worked my butt off to buy what i need. including a very sweet laptop which i am currently using. just arrived today, its very very sweet. so very small too! its a dell inspiron 700m. silver in color. really excited about it, especially my wireless internet lol. i can do ( Read more... )

so i was talking to a friend of mine tonight & she was trying to convince me to do something im not sure im quite ready to do...& not sure that if i do, it'll work. i have realized something about myself over the past few weeks. & that is, im tired of playing. ive had 3 "serious" relationships (serious being defined in my own terms of course) & ( Read more... )

well, i think i may have made it back to the land of the living. or at least, enough to be functionable again. now, im not saying im completely 100 percent yet. it still hurts if i talk too much & im still eating soft foods. & there is still this dull ache in my jaw from either being used too much or not enough. oh & the stitches are still in ( Read more... )

there comes a moment in time when it seems that everything around you stands still. everything is frozen & for one second, all that seems to matter is you & whoever else happens to share that moment of frozen happiness. & that is when you know that all your life you have been longing for feeling. this feeling of happiness, that finally something ( Read more... )

ok so i forgot something about my trip. but im a little afraid to write it bc it really would make me vulnerable. & i dont know if its realistic either. but theres someone that i like very much. & i want to get to know them better. but im stuck on that whole how do u tell if they like you bit. & i know some of you say stick your neck out ( Read more... )

im back from new zealand. wonderful time, so much stuff that i learned. grew in many ways too...God really changed my heart on a few things. He also opened my heart to a few things. like, after working with the koreans, im wondering if He has laid a special desire for them on my heart. maybe He's calling me to work with koreans. i would love ( Read more... )

still sad, mad, annoyed, lonely, scared, & i feel unsafe. still want to play with fire just bc it would be a fun diversion, even if it wouldnt last. i just wanna kill the feelings of dullity & emptiness within. my favorite song best describes it ( Read more... )

so i have decided that life has no meaning, it is just an empty hole without feelings, meaning, or love. no matter what i do i am stuck in a rut of work, work, & more work. theres no release, no escape. every time i want to play im too tired or i just dont enjoy it. i smile & laugh but theres nothing behind it. i just feel like this black hole ( Read more... )

guess a theoretical world doesnt exist:( we broke up & life has ended. for real this time. i want him back, oh mi goodness what i wouldnt give to have him back. ive never felt this bad before, its never hurt this much. i mean, last time i thought it was love but it wasnt...even though it was said all the time. & this time, it was never said ( Read more... )